Day Break
by Time Stand Still
Summary: A marriage is eminent but someone is tracked, someone is taken and even the best laid plans can go awry. Someone lives someone dies but it is all for love in the end. This is my interpretation/speculation of what could happen in Breaking Dawn. Hope you
1. Preface

Author's notes: This is my first attempt at a lengthy Fan fiction piece. I have done smaller works for contests with word or page limits. This is strictly my interpretation of Breaking Dawn. I did this to keep myself sane and provide a diversion for others while we all wait with baited breath. I have tried to remain true to the details of the Twilight series up through Eclipse.

Disclaimer: These stories are based on characters and situations created and owned by Stephenie Meyer, publisher Little, Brown and Company, and Summit Entertainment. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

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THE DARKEN'D VEIL _**by: Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864)**_

Oh could I raise the darken'd veil

Which hides my future life from me,

Could unborn ages slowly sail

Before my view -- and could I see

My every action painted there,

To cast one look I would not dare.

There poverty and grief might stand,

And dark Despair's corroding hand,

Would make me seek the lonely tomb

To slumber in its endless gloom.

Then let me never cast a look,

Within Fate's fix'd mysterious book.

**Preface**

I remember running; not me but him with me on his back. There were moments when we would duck behind thick concrete pillars set along the walls. He would get his bearings and begin running again. I buried my face in his hair trying to keep my wits and my insides in check. We just needed to make it out, out into the sun. He gasped and a great look of despair crossed his face. Something had gone wrong and he saw it in his mind. This time we ran harder and faster.

Then the piercing stab hit me in the middle of my left shoulder blade. I screamed and moaned. There was no need to be quiet. They knew we were fleeing and in pursuit. His speed accelerated with our panic as we broke out into the sun. I pinched my eyes shut even tighter, to manage the pain, maintain my hold on him and handle the rolling of my insides caused by the rapid motion.

I felt hands grabbing me, shifting me into a cradle hold, while we continued running. My heart was pounding and racing, gaining momentum. My muscles were seizing, constricting, setting hard like concrete. "Bella hang on. He's coming. He'll know what to do." But would he? Would he know? When was the coming?

Trying to open my eyes just the smallest crack took great effort. They felt like they had the weight of a thousand sand men. My head was swimming. I needed to stay awake. I needed to see him, to tell him. This was bad, very bad. My eyes were spotting with black dots and were weighing down again, threatening to close forever.


	2. Chapter 1 A Mother's Love

Disclaimer: These stories are based on characters and situations created and owned by Stephenie Meyer, publisher Little, Brown and Company, and Summit Entertainment. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

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**A Mother's Love**

I sat on the plush sofa trying to appear interested. Alice flitted around the spacious living room, rambling on about plans for the wedding that still needed to be determined. She set a stack of bridal and beauty magazines on the ottoman in front of me. "You need to pick a hairstyle so I can figure out how to do it. " Alice said.

"Your hair is always perfect Alice, its fine the way it is." I replied, clueless to her implication.

"No, for you silly," She giggled. "It's going to be such a special day, with a special dress and you will need special hair." She was amused with her own cleverness and ability to usually get her way. She definitely had a knack for using feminine wiles; however, these skills were typically reserved for men in any other woman's case. The fact that she was a vampire explained a lot, as her skills were not to seduce men but prey. She was a master, but since human sustenance was not part of her diet, she merely used her skills to get her way in most situations.

"Oh, yeah right," was my reply. It was just easier to agree with her than to state the obvious; that my hair was probably just fine left down. Although, remembering back to the ordeal of guinea pig Barbie when they made me go to prom, it was nothing short of amazing what they were able to create with the myriad of product and pins.

"Please Bella, just look and see what you like, for Edward. It's the first wedding for both of you," Alice pleaded.

"What?" I asked shocked, then realizing what she meant "I'm not Rosalie. Once will last me forever Alice." Rosalie and Emmett had had two weddings, so far. Rosalie loved to be the center of attention, which was usually the case when she entered a room of normal humans.

"Well then, all the more reason to make it perfect. Here you go," she smiled handing me the magazine on top. I was undeniably in love with her 'brother', Edward. It was my sole objective to spend my life with him, but he was immortal, froze at the youthful age of 17. Currently I was 18 and not immortal. I had every intention of changing that fact and I wanted him to do it. In return he wanted me to marry him. I would become the eighth member of the Cullen coven.

With my left hand, the one not in a brace, I opened the magazine up, looking at the page but not really seeing what was there. It would be easier if Alice just decided. Couldn't she just see what I wanted? Of course not, because her visions of the future only worked when a decision was made, and that future existed as long as that decision was not changed. It was inevitable, I had to decide first. I had decided much earlier that I was fine with her choices about the wedding, as long as I held the veto. I turned to tell her that whatever she suggested was fine, but I was alone. Edward and Jasper were not expected back from their hunt for another four to five hours. I sighed running my hand over my head and through my hair.

"Is Alice overwhelming you dear?" I heard Esme's voice from the direction of the front entry. Edward's adoptive mother had a permanent air of ease about her. Her compassion for her family was evident, and her capacity to nurture was her gift.

"Oh, no," I lied. Esme raised her eyebrow, she knew her 'daughter' well. "Well, not this time. I just have no idea what I'm doing. With hair, all I know is brush it, wash it, leave it down, or put it up in a band or barrette. I'm out of my league."

Esme lilted across the room to sit beside me. She looked down at the pages I had open before me, with her bright golden eyes. "Does this style interest you?" she asked.

"Not really" I replied "I just need it to be right, no, perfect for him."

"I have a suggestion, but let me know if I'm overstepping my bounds," she said, always considerate.

"No, no, never, please anything would help," I pleaded.

"Since your dress is vintage, from a time I have some personal connection with, I think I can help. If you come to my room, I can show you." With a sincere smile, I stood and we walked up the stairs to her room.

I had only been in her room one other time. That time had been under much duress and panic, to exchange clothes with her to make my hasty escape from James, the tracker. This time Esme was adding relief to my stress. "Bella dear, sit at my bureau, I have some pictures to show you." She went to the window and opened the top of the window seat and removed an album. "These pictures are of some of my family and a few of my friends, back in the day. I found them in some historical archives and had copies made." She said as she placed the book on the bureau top in front of me. The photos were of people posed quite stiffly and definitely dressed in their best attire. "My family was of moderate means. This photo," she said turning several pages into the book "is of my cousin's wedding day." The girl in the photo seemed only just a bit older than myself and was bearing only a slight meek smile on her face. Her dress was white with a bit of lace and stopped about mid-calf to the floor. However the veil upon her head was what drew my attention. It was the sheerest fabric with what appeared to be lace or embroidered edges. The veil looked as though it was just lightly placed atop her head and softly wafted down the sides of her face. The most dramatic thing about the veil was the extreme length. "Back then the trains existed in the veil and not the dress. Many times the dress was just a suit or a Sunday best. The splurge was in the veil." She continued "Alice did a good job with the style of the period, don't you agree?"

"I don't think she has it in her not to do something 150. I hadn't notice the length of the veil when I saw it though" I replied.

"It's the perfect length, it should trail about 4 feet behind, just enough dramatic affect for a fairytale wedding."

"Yes, but can just a dress make me look like a princess?" I glumly asked.

"Every bride is a princess, you will see. May I" she asked picking up a brush.

"Sure" I said.

She ever so gently brushed my hair down and then proceeded to brush it all up above my head. As I watched in the mirror before me, it looked so effortless. Giving my hair a quick couple of turns she positioned it atop my head and then, before I could even tell she had it in her hand, clipped a barrette to hold the style in place. The barrette was obviously very old. She pulled a small section of hair down at either temple and wrapped it around her fingers, then with a downward motion she let the curl develop into two perfect spiral wisps framing my face. At that moment I felt so close to Esme. Tears started to well up just a little in my eyes.

"Is this a reaction of approval?" she asked.

I nodded "It is perfect."

"As you are for him, don't ever forget that." She leaned in pressing her check to the side of my head and gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze. As she stood back up I saw the smile on her face grow and felt her sincerity in my heart. "Now I think we have all the bases covered. This barrette Edward had given me and he told me it had belonged to his mother, so it will mean a lot to him to see you wearing it. This also qualifies for something old."

"It would be for borrowed too." I input.

"Yes, I suppose it would. The new is your dress and I think Alice has put a touch of blue on your garter."

"Oh geez" I sighed rolling my eyes.

"Alice is all about the details, you just need to stand your ground and keep it on your terms. If you would like, I could show Alice how to do this with your hair."

"Would you?" I said trying to stop a yawn. "Esme" I asked.

"Yes, dear"

"What is it like being married? I mean married and it's right, forever. You know, like you and Carlisle."

"Oh," she began "There's really nothing special about being married. The special part is being with the one that is everything to you. Being with the one you can't imagine yourself being without. The wedding is to show the public that you are committed to each other. The marriage certificate is the legal paper that confirms it. Above all that, is the love you share. It's the culmination of your devotion. I can see the way he watches you. I see how relaxed you are around him. The both of you balance one another. Carlisle does that for me. I could never be without him."

"No, never" I whispered relating to what she meant. I thought my whisper was so quiet that it could not have been heard by human ears, but I was not in that company. The warmth in her smile and in her warm hued eyes, reflected in the mirror before me. She patted me reassuringly on the shoulder. I needed him with me forever and I wanted it to be what Esme and Carlisle have. I knew it would be.

"You look a little worn out. Are you sure you're okay?" She said. voicing her concern.

"I just need some fresh air to clear my head. Do you mind if I take a walk outside in your garden?"

"Bella, dear, you are going to be a Cullen, our home is yours too. There are some benches down near the river and the sound of the water is very relaxing. Go and take some time for yourself." she offered.

"Sounds perfect" I reached up and unfastened the barrette and shook my head to let my hair fall back around my shoulders. I stood and faced her placing the hair clip into her hand.

She placed her other hand on top and said "I am so happy he found you and I can see in your eyes that you deeply love him. This will be such a special blessed day for you both."

I escaped the house through the back kitchen door. The air still smelled of the rain shower only a few hours ago. The clouds looked lighter being relieved of some of their burden. But my burdens remained, weighing heavy on my heart. Maybe burden is not the word, guilt for sure. If only the rain could wash it away, or better yet the bright, warm sun evaporate it. The sun, my sun, Jacob, was not shining brightly at all and this caused the tear in my heart to ache. He 

once said to me that he wished the love we shared was enough. How was it not enough? I just knew in the deepest depth of my soul that it was not the same as what I had for Edward. It was not as vast, vibrant, addictive, or powerful, but none of these words really reflected the intensity of the feeling. I was sure that any girl would feel extremely lucky and in sheer bliss to have the feelings I have for Jacob. That girl would be the one everyone would be jealous of, happily in love for the rest of her life. But I had something more with Edward, indescribable. Who was I to have both of these? I was just some girl, nothing special, why me?

I walked towards the sound of the stream. There was a misty haze across the lawn as the warmer temperatures helped the rain rise from the grass. The lawn gave way to the timber that thrived amidst the fresh water flowing through it. As Esme had said there was an intimate open area with a rustic log bench and a weathered Adirondack chair surrounded by a smattering of wild flowers around the clearing's edges. The flowing water was a few yards away, easily visible.

Tipping my head back as far as I could with my hands bracing my back and my feet far enough apart to steady myself, I took in the deepest breath I could. I held it in for what seemed like more than was necessary and then exhaled as steady and consistent as I could. I had watched Renee do this many times when she was in her yoga phase. Granted she was sitting in a lotus position in our living room and I was standing, alone in a forest, which should be serene and relaxing but it was not. How had it come to this balled up mess? I should be ecstatic, elated, on top of the world and part of me was. I was going to be with the man of my dreams forever. That was more than anyone, human that is, could ever ask for.

I walked closer to the water and watched the current surge swiftly, never stopping, never distracted, never confused. I needed to be like a stream. I must focus and go forward. I had nothing to be confused about. It was all very straightforward or should be. I was getting married to the man I loved. I would say my goodbyes to my parents and go off happily ever after to live a life of immortality. It was as simple as that. Yeah, sure, but I was leaving in the wake, a broken friendship with someone who held a part of my heart.

Looking down to my feet I saw a fist sized rock, picked it up and flung it into the current, losing my footing on a slime covered rock and slipping. My right leg was submerged in the brisk water up to my thigh. Great, now half of me was soaked. I looked back to the rock I had chucked into the stream, but the current did not stop. It flowed around and over the top of the rock, not slowing one bit. I was sure it would be best for me to reduce the distance between myself and the water before I managed to immerse my whole body in it. I sat down in the chair, removed my sopping trainer, took off my sock and rung it out. My falling into the current didn't even change the stream. That is what I needed to do. Just go forward. Over time my feelings would change and redirect to a better course. That's what I was telling myself, but I didn't believe it.

It was only two days ago, that Edward and I had gone to tell Charlie about our engagement. On the way to my house I filled Edward in on the request my Dad had made to tell him if I was going to do anything big. At what point, he suddenly developed this acute intuition, I have no clue, but I hoped his suspicions would be enough to make this non-confrontational.

"You should let me go in first and break the ice." I told Edward.

The look on his face was reproachful. "Now, you know that is not going to happen. I need to give Charlie the respect he deserves and ask for his approval to marry his daughter. It needs to 

be man to man. It will be a big change to view me as your fiancé as opposed to just your boyfriend" he said with a smile in his tone and then he put his hand on the sides of my face and lightly but slowly kissed me. As he pulled away I let out a sigh, knowing I didn't really want to begin this discussion with Charlie.

"Good, keep breathing. This will be okay, Bella. I love you and I will do my best to make Charlie understand how much. He loves you too and only wants what is best for you." He said taking my hand and urging me forward beside him. With his arm around my waist I opened the door and stepped inside.

"Bella?" Charlie said from the living room. I could hear the television giving sports updates and scores.

"Yeah, Dad it's us." I answered back.

Edward pulled me into the kitchen and holding up one finger and said "Just go up stairs. Let me talk to him. Please, trust me." Edward's maturity and confidence was evident. If only Charlie really knew how truly mature he was for his one hundred plus years.

I could feel the nervous tension collecting on my face, within my eyes. I tried not to appear panicked but I was sure I was failing. My heart was racing and my hands were starting to sweat. I walked to the stairs and peered in at Charlie with what I sure was the most pathetic weak smile. "I'll be upstairs." I announced taking the stairs two at a time, but sure to hold the railing.

"Okay." Charlie replied. His tone was suspicious of my obvious statement.

From the top of the stairs I looked back to see Edward stepping through the door way into the living room. "Charlie, do you have a moment? Can I talk with you, about Bella?"

"Why, what's wrong?" he asked with definite concern.

"No, it's nothing like that" He recanted. "May I sit?" I heard no response from Charlie but I was sure there had to be some kind of gesture because Edward thanked him.

I was sitting on the top stair but I couldn't help myself, I had to get down there and hear what was being said. It would be so perfect to borrow Edward's gift for times like this. I scooted myself down a few steps at a time, being sure to miss the one that creaked.

Edward began, "I know you can see how enamored I am of your daughter, she is a very special person. Being her father I know you see this about her. She and I have discussed plans for college. It is very important to both of us. I know she told you her school of choice is the University of Alaska Southeast. I have also been accepted, as you know and will also be attending there in the fall. The truth is I love your daughter very much. She is everything to me. I want to be there for her. I need to be there for her." He paused, "Charlie, I would like to marry Bella and have your consent in doing so." I heard a sigh. Would he keep to what he said and try and see Edward as the decent guy he was.

"Bella, come on in here. I know you're on the stairs listening." Charlie said. I stood and walked into the room looking at Charlie's face but not directly into his eyes. "Go ahead and sit down, Bells." His voice was tense but not necessarily angry.

I looked at Edward expecting him to be a little angry with me for not staying upstairs, but I was sure I could see amusement in his eyes. Was the amusement on account of my lack of restraint or did he hear something Charlie was thinking that I was not privy to?

"I assume Bella told you about the discussion I had with her yesterday?" "Yes, sir" Edward replied in a smooth voice. "And Bella, I see by the ring on your finger, that the question has been asked of you and your reply was affirmative." I covered my left hand defensively with my right and could feel the rush of panicked blood flowing to my face.

"Yes, I did because I love him and…" I started but Charlie cut me off.

"I know you do, Isabella. You need to understand that this is a big step. Technically you both are adults and are free to do as you please. I just hope you have considered all the options. Edward, how does Carlisle feel about this?"

"He is very fond of Bella and supports me in my choices. I see what he and Esme have and I only see the same for Bella and myself. I can and will always make her my first priority" Edward said glancing my way with a smile in his eyes.

Charlie put his hand to his mouth and rubbed his top lip and sighed. "Bella, if this is truly what your heart tells you is right…" this time I cut him off

"It is Dad; I want to be with Edward for always. You remember. You understand?"

"Yes, Bells I do understand. Your happiness and safety is all I wish for you." I saw him shoot a suspicious glance at Edward, but then Charlie surprised me and stood up stretching out his right hand to Edward. Edward took his hand and rose shaking it. "Take care of her. She's the best thing I have in this world."

I jumped up throwing my hands around Charlie's neck and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks dad." When I stepped back, I thought I saw a tear in the corner of his eye. When he saw me notice he looked down to take my hands in his.

"Well, Edward you have some taste in rings, this looks rare and maybe antique?" Charlie said trying to avoid a deeper emotional scene. "It was my mother's and now it will forever be Bella's" he said with a warm smile and soft eyes.

"Speaking of mothers," Charlie interjected "you should be the one to call her and tell her Bella."

"Yeah, Dad I will call her right now." I grabbed Edward's hand and headed to the kitchen to dial the phone. Renee's response was a little less predictable, which was typical for her. I made sure to tell her to sit down and then I just told her Edward asked me to marry him. She asked if I was pregnant and I told her no and that I was saving myself. Edward tried to stifle a laugh and rolled his eyes to the ceiling. I had told him someone would jump to this kind of conclusion no matter how unfounded it was. She reiterated the big commitment and if I was sure he was the guy. "Mom, I love him. He loves me just as much." Edward mouthed the word 'more' and I rolled my eyes. "I said yes. Alice is already starting plans for a wedding"

"Well, have you told your father? How did he take it?" Renee asked.

"Dad, Renee wants to talk to you" I called out loud. Charlie came into the kitchen with a scowl on his face and took the phone from me.

"Yes, Renee…. She is eighteen… Yes I believe she has and I believe they are… Yes, here she is" Charlie said as he very deliberately handed the phone back to me and went back into the living room.

"Well, I don't think there is anything I can say to postpone this decision. You were always the one to thoroughly think your decisions through, a talent I don't possess. If you know in your 

heart of hearts, then it is right. Just let me know what you need me to do?" "I will mom. I'll talk to you soon. I love you." I could have never imagined it going so smoothly, though I'm sure I caught her a little off guard.

I looked down at the ring on my finger. It did feel right being there, but I was still uptight. As I sat in this chair in the woods, alone and peaceful, my tensions should have been fading. I leaned my head back staring up into the leaves of the trees rustling with the breeze. I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths. The breaths felt good this time and they came slower and more relaxed as I drifted to sleep, but it was not to be a peaceful slumber.

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I would like to thank my Betas Lillie, Sweetishbubble and Sandart. There work and compliments gave me nerve to post. All comments are appreciated.


	3. Chapter 2 Tension

**Tension**

I was standing alone, on a very hard stone platform. My arms were outstretched holding on to two ropes, one in either hand, being pulled with great tension. The light was too dim to see. My shoulders were aching from the strain. What was I holding back? Why could I not just let go of the ropes? "This hurts so, bad" I said aloud.

"Bella just let go. We'll be fine. Just let go" a voice said from my right. I knew that voice.

"Edward?" I said turning my head to the voice. My eyes were struck with a bright light. The light was not directed at me but reflecting off him. He was standing on his own platform meters away and a little below me. He was also holding a rope taunt, holding something up in the air. His white shirt was unbuttoned all the way down and I could see the intense contraction of his muscles keeping hold of the rope. I followed his rope up to something straight above me. His effort was suspending a huge block of concrete that had to weigh a ton if not more. The shock of the circumstance caused my heart to race and my breaths to come quicker.

"Bella, you have to move forward, out of the way. Just let go of the ropes." This was a different voice. It was Jacob. He was on my left. He too was under a spot light but did not seem as bright as Edward had. He was standing in his cut off jeans, holding his rope just as tight. His rope was connected to the same block of concrete suspended above me. "We won't let this hurt you! You just need to let go." Jacob said again.

My ropes were not attached to the block above me. The rigging in my left was attached to a large shiny silver blade. It was like a guillotine blade. It was definitely meant for destruction of its target. And that target was Jacob. Where on earth was I getting this kind of strength to hold back this monstrous blade? I turned to Edward with dread and the same torture was rigged for him. If I let go of the ropes, the blades would come down and severe them both. If they let go I would be smashed to a pulp. How could things get to be this wrong? The ache in my arms was increasing. It felt like my back was being torn apart between my shoulder blades.

"Bella, what on earth have you done?" It was Charlie speaking now. My eyes frantically searched ahead of me to see what kind of danger he was in. He wasn't, he was fine, standing quite a distance away with Renee beside him. "Bella, Bella honey" Renee appealed "Don't scare us like this. Let go and get out of the way!"

"I can't" I said looking first to Edward and then to Jacob.

"Yes, you can" Jacob said with gritted teeth.

From out of the dark behind Charlie and Renee stepped Carlisle and Esme. "It's okay to let go Bella. This will work out. Trust us. You're hurting yourself far too much." Carlisle stressed and Esme's anguished look of concern supported his statement.

"I just can't, I won't. It's tearing me in two, but I need them." I exclaimed with tears flooding into my eyes. This was psychotic. Did I think I was some kind of martyr? No it was nothing that glorious. I was being selfish. I need them, both of them. I was not giving up. I would sooner die. I dropped my head down to hide my shame.

"Bella listen to them. No good can come of this. They will be fine. Their resolve is stronger than you know. The pack and the coven support them." Sam was speaking very calm but with determination.

I looked up to respond and saw only Sam. A step behind him, to the right was Leah. Upon her face was a look of utter contempt. "You're taking this too far and taking him down with you. Let go and let us be!" she exclaimed.

Sam turned sharply, glaring at her "That doesn't help, Leah."

"Bells don't listen to her, it's not like that. Stop this torment, let go. Edward and I can handle this." Jacob pleaded.

A gust of wind raged into me. It tossed my hair in front of my face, obstructing my view. I shook my head to free my sight. And they were gone. Not my ropes, Edward, Jacob or their tasks, but everyone else was gone. "Isn't this an intriguing display? The human protecting her keeper; as if it could really be that way, really." The voice was vile but familiar, with tones of disgust. James, but he was dead, Edward saw to that. I turned to my right expecting to see fury on Edward's face. There was none. His attention was solely on maintaining the tension on the rope he held.

"Bella just let go. You can do this" Edward pleaded.

James answered his plea "Yes Bella, let go. It would be such a shame to smash you to bits and waste the feast." This had to elicit a reaction from Edward. Nothing, he had the same determined expression.

I turned to look at Jacob, surely he heard this and would understand the threats being thrown at me. "Bella, what are you waiting for? This isn't getting any lighter. Just let go and move!" He was definitely irritated but not at what I thought he should be irritated at. Neither of them could see them. "Please move, dear. I deserve to taste the revenge that is due me."

"Fat chance. That will never happen as long as I have anything to say about it." I spat out with rage. I felt a surge of confidence that renewed my determination. I was not going to give in. There had to be a solution for all to win.

My eyes searched the rigging for any lock or way to tie off the armaments. No such luck. In my distraction a new voice entered the conversation. It was high pitched, with a juvenile tone "She is very loyal, she is. Her will and determination is impressive." It was Jane. "I'm usually correct in my instincts of potential. This one has so much to offer. I should just change her myself." It was Aro's voice this time. I turned to face him.

"I didn't give you permission for that." I retorted.

"I need not permission. In time you would come to see my wisdom. Oh, to see what you become and what you can do. However, Marcus has his own curiosities for which he chooses to explore and test the limits."

"What do you mean? Where is Marcus? Did he cause this?" I demanded. Before I could finish my sentence he stepped out of the dark to stand between Jane and Aro. Jane gave a nod of respect and stepped back into the shadows.

Marcus stood with his vacant and impassive expression. Aro presented his right hand to Marcus, palm facing up. Marcus alighted his index finger on Aro's palm and in a millisecond his hand was returned to his side. "I agree, this test has developed some surprising results. Each of these beings is strong with passion and intense determination to put another before the self. I see you have no guess as to which one will win out with the outcome they desire. It would taint the test to interfere though." I had heard enough, and with a quick glance at my fellow victims, realized they were oblivious to this discussion also.

My anger peaked "Test, is that what this is, a test? Am I just a lab rat to you? To think you look down at Carlisle's practice of civility. You should look in the mirror at the monsters you are. You disgust me. I will never give you the satisfaction."

"I would not be so sure young one." Aro said with a sinister grin.

The breeze returned sending a chill up my back but the heat from the pain in my muscles sent a spasm through me. The ropes began to tremble. I struggled to steady them. I was not going to lose the best parts of my life. I tighten my grip till my knuckles turned white. Tears were streaming down my face. I could not cause Edward and Jacob's demise. I would not cause the pain and suffering. I needed to find happiness but it would only come with them.

"Bella, Bella let go" Edward demanded softly. I looked at Jacob and he shook his head in agreement with Edward's demands. I sobbed shaking my head in the negative. Again I tightened my hold and pain shot through my right hand. My breath was gasping with intense sorrow.

"Bella, Bella, honey let go. You're going to make your hand worse." My shoulders were shaking violently. I was losing my grip. Oh please no.

"Jasper, what is she feeling? Can you calm her? I don't want to force her hands free and end up causing more damage. Bella, come on wake up" Edward insisted. My eyes fluttered open but my sight was all blurry with tears. Oh, crap, that was awful. It felt so real. The pain was so real. I reached up to wipe the tears from my eyes. When I touched my hand to my face I gasped in pain. Through the brace on my hand, the pain was pounding, surging up into my wrist.

"What happened? What did you do to my hand? It is killing me." I protested.

"You were having a bad dream, Bella. What was it? You were crying and denying something. You had such a tight grip on the arms of the chair. I think you have injured your hand more. We need to have Carlisle look at it. Maybe a hard cast would have been best for you." Edward was kneeling before me with deep concern on his face.

My vision returned and I looked up behind Edward, at Jasper. There was a brief wave of nonchalant almost melancholy. "Whatever she was dreaming about was very serious to her. Her emotions were some of the most intense I've felt. It was fear, rage and love all at once. I knew women could be more complicated emotionally but that was extreme." Jasper explained.

"Bella, what was it? What were you dreaming about? Your cold" he said grabbing my forearms in an attempt to raise me from the chair. "Why is your shoe and sock… You're half damp. You'll be sick for sure. Let's get inside and you into some dry things."

He started to pick me up. "I can walk, I'm not helpless. I'm fine. It was nothing. Just a weird dream" I complained. I grabbed my things and had to cradle my hand. I followed several steps behind Jasper. There was no way to keep pace with him. I realized he was walking a path I had not noticed before.

Edward kept pace beside me with his arm around my shoulder. "Will you tell me about it?" he asked

"It was so dumb, you would just laugh." I lied. I was taking this one to the grave with me. Hopefully that would be a very long time. He looked at me with suspicious eyes. I was firm on my resolve. Edward would not know this warped, distorted part of my guilt.

"What happened" queried Alice as we entered the kitchen through the back door. "I told you she was just napping down in the clearing."

"She was, but the nap included a nightmare." Edward said to her and then called for Carlisle in the same even tone. Esme entered just a second before Carlisle. "Could you get her something dry to put on" He said to her and then she was instantly gone.

"Let me see what the damage is." Carlisle took my hand leading me to the kitchen table and I sat down in a chair next to his. "I have never known anyone who is so prone to injury." He said trying to make light of the situation. I faked a laugh. He removed the brace with the skill of a seasoned surgeon, naturally. "It's starting to swell. Put some ice on it and let's keep it elevated till the swelling goes down. You may need to come in and have it x-rayed. How did you do this? Did you fall?"

"I fell into the edge of the water but I didn't hit my hand. It was just this way when I woke up. Maybe I did hit it and it took time for the pain to start." I rationalized.

"She was wrenching the arms of the chair when I found her. The dream seemed pretty bad but she won't tell me what it was about." Edward accused.

"I told you it was dumb, just one of those bizarre visions that is corny and makes no sense," I defended. "You probably don't remember ever having dreams like that since you don't sleep." I said with a weak smile trying to lighten the mood and divert his interrogation tactics.

Esme returned "I put a pair of pants in your room for Bella to change into and here, I picked up an ice bag the other day just in case." Edward chuckled and thanked her as he got up to fill it. I stood and began to go upstairs and Edward was soon beside me treating me with kid gloves.

Once in his room he asked "do you need help or can you…"

"I can change my clothes myself." My temper was beginning to come out.

"I'll just be outside the d…" he began.

"Fine, I will just be a minute." He exited leaving the door ajar. I managed changing my pants and found a pair of dry socks on the end of the bed. I sat on the bed to put the socks on.

Edward came back into his room. I'm sure he figured out that I was to the point of putting on the socks because I was sitting on the bed. "Bella, let me do that. Here sit back and elevate your hand like you were told." He mothered me, stacking one pillow behind me to lean back against and two beside me to keep my hand up. "Here, the ice will help." He said handing it to me. He momentarily left with my clothes and shoe.

The second he returned I complained "I'm not tired, I just woke up. I don't need to lie here." I attempted to get off the bed.

He placed a firm hand on my shoulder. "Humor me for the sake of your hand." He paused. "You're not going to tell me what had you so upset, are you?"

I closed my eyes for a brief moment and sighed "No, I told you. It was just a strange dream. I really don't even remember much of it now. Anyway, why are you back so early? Was hunting good?" He knew I was changing the subject.

"Actually it was, that's why we are back a little sooner. So you and Esme had a nice chat?"

"Yes, she is so amazing. I hope I can be half the person she is. I feel very comfortable, no, close to her," I proclaimed.

"Bella you are equally as amazing in your own way. Why else would so many people care about you? With the exception of your parents, none care as much as I do." he smiled sitting on the bed beside me and kissing me atop my head.

"Soon enough, you and your family will be the only ones." I said "And I am ready for that," I added hoping I sounded convincing not only to him but to myself.

I remained in his embrace, comforted by his unbreakable form. I gazed out the window into the wilderness beyond, lost in the peace. He stroked my hair tenderly. I savored every touch. I sat so still I could feel his breath sweep across my hair. He smelled so sweet, my own personal aromatherapy. He once told me I was his singer, but he was the entire orchestra to me. In the faintest whisper I heard him say "Bella, are you a sleep?"

"No," I sighed and snuggled in a little tighter. He continued stroking my hair. After more minutes had passed he put his hand under my chin and adjusted my face to peer up at him. With the slowest of movements he leaned in and lightly brushed his lips across mine. His hands were caressing the sides of my face. The tips of his fingers were unconscientiously tracing the arteries in my neck. The touch was cold but with an electrical sensation. I tipped back my head and released a breath of excitement from very deep within. I felt my heart pounding. His lips dotted endearments below my ear and all the way down to my collar. His hand moved up the back of neck and into my hair supporting my head. My breathing was loud and gaining momentum. I reached up with my injured hand and noticed the prickly sensation of poor circulation. I flexed my fingers and in doing so a piercing stab of pain shot through my hand. I desperately tried to stifle my distress but a small whimper escaped my lips.

Edward immediately drew back to scan my face to see what damage he had done. A solitary tear trickled from the outer corner of my eye. "I'm so sorry, Bella, what have I done. I didn't mean to, I shouldn't have, not with your…"

I cut him off confused about what he was inferring "What? My hand fell asleep and when I curled my fingers it hurt. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm not upset or injured, well not by anything you did."

His finger caught the tear on my cheek "Are you crying?"

I had to stop and think how was it I was crying when right up to the moment I moved my hand, I was experiencing extreme elation. I knew and said "A tear of joy."

"Oh." He said gingerly taking my injured hand and placing it back on the stacked pillows with the ice bag on top. "I don't think there is much ice left and I probably should get it refilled."

"I really should get home and figure out something for Charlie's dinner." I said sadly looking up at him. I touched his face with my fingers and added "But right now I wish I didn't.

His smile was brilliant and genuine. He put his arm around my shoulders and gave me a gentle squeeze. "I will drive you." He volunteered.

"I can drive myself." I argued

"As your fiancé looking out for your best interests and a speedy recovery, I'd rather you didn't."

"Fine, whatever." I conceded. I saw a flicker of concern on Edward's face, was he wanting an argument from me? I knew I wouldn't win so why try. He stood and waited for me as I gathered up my things.

As we came down the stairs Alice was waiting at the bottom. "Here, Esme dried your shoe in the dryer." She placed the pair on the floor in front of me. She had loosened the laces so I could slip my feet in and then tied them for me. She handed me a stack of paper "Take this with you and review it as soon as you can. I need it back soon. We don't want people's calendar to fill up with other events not even as important as this." I looked at the top page. It was titled _Guest List_.

"Sure Alice." I smiled as she turned and raced up the stairs giggling.

The ride home was quiet and calming. I sat as close as possible to Edward. I could see a contented smile on his face. When we reached my house I stated the obvious. "Are you staying for dinner too?"

"I'm going to run home and help Jasper unload from our trip, but I will see you upstairs later. Do me a favor, though, put ice on your hand and take Charlie up on his pizza offer." I smiled in agreement. It did seem an ideal solution. He opened the driver's side door and helped me slide out.

"I'll be back around ten." He said and kissed me on my forehead and walked around the back of the truck and was gone in an instant. His explanation seemed odd. What could they possibly take with them when they went hunting that would need to be put away. Weird, but since I was not allowed to go, yet, who was I to say. There was only a sliver of the sunset left, so I knew it had to be late. How long had I lingered in Edwards embrace in his room. It had to have been a lot longer than I thought.

I opened the front door and announced "Hey dad, are you hungry? I'm sorry it's so late."

"It's okay Bells. Didn't Alice tell you she called me? She told me you were tired and had fallen asleep? I ordered pizza about 20 minutes ago. I was just getting ready to go pick it up."

"Oh yeah, I knew" I lied "I just didn't know when she called you and if you figured out I was going to be late making dinner."

He smiled and put his hand on my shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Alice is a good friend looking out for you like that. She's sure a keeper." He grabbed his keys and went out the door. I went to the fridge and filled a storage bag with ice. I grabbed an apple and juggled it, the ice and the list while I went upstairs to find some Tylenol for the pain returning in my hand.

I threw the apple and the list on my bed and the bag of ice slid off onto the floor, mostly because I have very poor aim. I tried to open the bottle of pain relievers but my left hand could not get the lid off. Disgusted with my inadequacy I threw the bottle onto my bed.

I turned on my computer deciding to clean up the spam and see if Renee had emailed. I heard the whirring and ticking of the processor coming to life. Knowing how long it would take it to get to where it would be useful, I sat down on the end of my bed. Sighing I picked up the list. It was a stack of about 30 sheets of paper. I knew I had the veto clause to save me, but who could she possibly have wanted to invite to fill up 30 pages.

I flipped over the cover page and the first page of names seemed reasonable. The names were Mr. Charlie Swan and guest, Mr. and Mrs. Phil Dwyer, Mr. and Mrs. Carlisle Cullen, Mr. and Mrs. Emmett Cullen, Mr. and Mrs. Jasper Hale, Mr. Billy Black and Guest, Mr. Jacob Black and Guest, Mr. and Mrs. Newton, Mr. Mike Newton and Guest, Ms. Angela Webber and guest, Ms. Jessica Stanley and guest and that was it. I couldn't believe Alice had limited herself. Underneath 

each pair was a line with the mailing address, except under the Cullen's the lines were blank. I'm sure Alice would hand deliver those herself. I flipped through the rest of the pages and there were just blank lines in need of precious ink to fill them up. Then I noticed on the back of the cover page a sticky note that read in the most delicate script.

"Edward said you would like intimate best, but feel free to add as many as you like. I can accommodate."

There was no way that was going to happen. What she had was fine. I looked over the names on the list again. My eyes stopped on Jacob Black and guest. Would he bring a guest or better yet would he even come? I wondered when she was going to mail the invitations. Maybe I should hand deliver Jacob's and tell him how much his friendship means to me. How shallow would that make me look reducing what we have to a friendship, I knew it was more, but not enough. I tossed the list on the floor by the nightstand. I had done my duty and the list was fine as is.

Picking up the apple I went back to the computer and cleared the screen of pop up messages. I had only 5 emails in my inbox; three from Renee and two from the University of Alaska Southeast. Of the two emails from the university, one was confirmation of receipt of my tuition deposit. Charlie had asked me several times if I had gotten confirmation of receipt for wiring the money for pre-enrollment. I told him I could handle it and that I had the transaction number, but he said it was his fatherly duty to be sure. It probably gave him peace of mind to know I was monetarily committed to moving forward with my education. The other email from the university was a welcome invitation that linked up to the website about the campus, programs and curriculum.

I heard Charlie come back from his pizza run and he called out up the stairs. "Bells, pizza is here and it's best while it's hot."

"You go ahead dad, I grabbed an apple and I'm not really hungry." I picked up the fruit thinking about taking a bite and then decided against it setting it back down on the desk beside the monitor.

Resting my chin in my left hand, I stared down at the key board. My thoughts wandered back to Jacob's name on the guest list. Who was I to think he would even consider the invite. Putting myself in his shoes I saw it as a slap in the face. I remembered the time I punched him with little affect on him and the immense pain it caused me. I looked down at my braced hand. I rationalized an eye for an eye, my physical pain for his emotional pain. Why didn't he just listen to what I had told him? I knew he was hearing but obviously not listening. I should have done more.

Was there any way to bridge the chasm broadening between us? He was the best friend I had here in Forks. No, that wasn't true. I had Edward and Alice too. It was different with Jacob. He only saw of me what he wanted. The parts he liked best. He likes me just the way I am. He wants me to stay just the way I am. I can't, I told myself. I won't be without Edward. Why can't he see that and understand. Have I not made myself clear?

My frustration was rising. I brushed my left hand up through my hair and sighed. Propping my forehead against my hand again and looking down at the keys, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath trying to clear my mind. What came next was not my intent. I could clearly 

picture myself in my dream again. The tension was pulling me apart. I looked to my left and then my right. I needed them both. I tipped my head back and looked up at the mass above me. If it fell, it would only be a second and the pain would be brief. Would it be so bad? I knew for sure it would be. Not the pain of my death, but the pain in my soul of losing it all, not having anything or anyone. Was this what Edward had felt when he thought I was dead. My heart was aching for him. How could I have let such pain invade him, but I didn't, it was all a misunderstanding. In a way it was the happiest misunderstanding. It brought him back to me.

"I'm so sorry." I said aloud, not realizing I had.

"Bella?" I started at the sound of his voice coming from just inside my bedroom window. I hadn't realized that I had actually leaned my head back while my eyes were closed. Opening my eyes, my vision was blurred with tears that were about to fall down my face. Within a second he was at my side, a very concerned look on his face. "Sorry for what, what is wrong? Is it Renee?" he asked.

"What? No, I was, um, meditating." That took the cake for the most pathetic lie ever. I looked to my monitor to avoid his gaze. He wasn't buying it.

"Look Bella, I know something is bothering you. It doesn't take a mind reader to know. You need to talk about it. You need to let go of your restraint." With the shock of hearing those last words I whipped my head around looking at him with an agitated expression. He gently placed his hands on my shoulders. He knelt down before me and said "I went back to talk to Jasper. He is very concerned with your current state of emotion, as am I. He told me that you have always had very volatile feelings but what he sensed today was nothing he has ever sensed in a human before. It is very obvious something is wrong. You're holding something back. You can tell me. You should tell me, because I love you." His hand brushed the side of my face and I tilted my head to the touch.

I couldn't tell him. If he knew I might not get all that I wanted. I was sure I knew what he would say. My subconscious was telling me that he would say I should stay human, that I had too much to lose. He was wrong. This was something I had to work out for myself, hopefully before I made myself crazy. I had to think fast. I took a deep breath. "Fine, I admit I'm apprehensive about the wedding. You know I don't like public occasions and this is ten times worse because it centers all around us. What about school? Look at this website. There are things I need to do. I need to choose classes. A tour of the campus to make it look real wouldn't hurt. Where are we going to live? My dream was stupid. Everything went wrong. I panicked because I fell down coming down the aisle. Felt humiliated when people laughed. I screwed up my vows. I saw myself missing class, forgetting assignments and flunking out. Everything was failing. It was just one of those dreams, you know. No, I guess you don't." I said all this so fast I hoped he didn't notice how false it was. "It's stress, just stress, this is a lot happening at one time, but really I'm fine. Dreams are weird some times, really. To top it all off, I can't get that stupid bottle open."

He stood up holding my hands and pulling me up to stand before him. He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around me. I rested my head on his shoulder and wound my arms around him. "You never said what you are sorry for." he prompted.

"Disappointing," was my response. This was the truth in many ways. He moved me back to look into my face.

"Never." was his response and he leaned in, kissed me and said "It will be okay, you are not alone. I will work some of the plans out with Alice. It will be fine. You will see. This should be a happy time for you. I need you to be happy."

This made me smile. "I am because I love you." This was another truth.

"Go and get ready for bed, please. You need to sleep and relax. It will be better in the morning." I wasn't sure, but I thought I still heard a bit of skepticism in his voice.

I took my toiletry bag with me into the bathroom. I turned on the shower to get warm while I stood before the mirror. I brushed my teeth and thought about the lies I just told. Would it be so bad to tell him about the dream? Maybe this was some form of cold feet. I got into the shower and stood beneath the searing stream until my skin turned ruby red. After many minutes but not wanting to become a prune, I got out, toweled dry my hair, combed it out and put on my favorite sweats. As soon as I stepped out of the bathroom I yelled downstairs "Night, dad."

"Goodnight, Bells."

Edward had already turned back the bed and shut down the computer. He was standing at the foot of my bed with two pills and a glass of water. "Thanks," I smiled and gulped them down. I turned out the lights, walked over to the bed and got under the covers. He laid down on top of the covers and put his arm across me. "Close your eyes and sleep, love," and he began to hum my lullaby.

Hope you enjoy I have 17 chapters done to this point. Feel free to make comments or wait until you read more. Thanks for reading.


	4. Chapter 3 Consideration

**Consideration**

Sleep did not come easy. It may have even come at a price. When I did wake I felt intense pressure in my head. I lifted my hand and felt the familiar pulsing behind the brace. I moaned and slowly opened my eyes to his hand offering up two more Tylenol. "I think you should take these." He instructed.

"I think your right," I said slowly trying to sit up using my good hand and swinging my feet of the side of the bed. The movement of switching my head from the horizontal position to vertical increased the pain five times. What a way to start the morning. I sighed and dropped my gaze to the floor. Opening my eyes just a bit I saw a cup before my face. "Thank you." I said taking the cup of water and downing the pain killers.

"I really think you should rest until those take effect. I need to go and speak with Alice. Will you promise me you will stay here and rest?" he requested.

"What time is it? I have to work later." I tried to focus but it was barely light enough in my room to see.

"It's only ten after 5, all the more reason for you to go back to sleep." He answered.

I yawned and said "Fine, sure. Oh, here, give this back to her. She's expecting it." I handed him the guest list picking it up off the floor. Feeling irritated I lay back down on my bed on my side facing away from him. I heard the rustle of my curtains and knew he had left. I closed my eyes, trying to relax and trying even harder not to fall asleep. I was sure I had revisited my dream again last night because the covers on my bed were in more disarray than was normal. What did Edward witness last night? Had I tipped my hand? The thought of this made me feel nauseous or maybe it was just the headache.

I starred at the blank wall before me. My lids felt weighted. I wasn't going to let myself sleep. I got up, turned on my computer and went to the bathroom. Turning on the shower I heard a distinct knock on the door. "Bella, it's early. Are you okay?" Charlie asked.

"Yes I'm fine. I just couldn't sleep. Did I wake you? I'm really sorry."

"No my alarm went off 20 minutes ago."

"Oh, I'll be done in just 15 minutes, is that okay?"

"Sure, fine. I'll just go make some coffee." I heard him taking the stairs down to the kitchen.

The water was hot, almost scalding. I turned it down not wanting to use all the hot water before Charlie had his turn. I did only what was necessary and hurried out. My computer beckoned with spam ads that I quickly closed to get to my inbox. It was time to answer the emails Renee had left over the last couple of days. I started with the oldest first.

Bella, are you sure this is the right thing? You are so young. I made that mistake. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. But being married so young faded fast and ending it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Please don't rush into anything. I'm here for you. Please call me or email, Love Mom.

The next email was sent only an hour later.

Honey I am sorry if the last email sounded judgmental. It was not what I meant. I just don't want you to make the same mistakes I did. I want you to be happy. If this boy makes you happy then you should be with him, but you both need to communicate and 

be sure. Communication is the foundation to every good relationship. Phil and I talk all the time. That shouldn't change once the wedding has happened. You have to have the relationship in place because it really is the same after the wedding. Your father told me you both were going to Alaska for school. Maybe you should get some of your college out of the way before committing to a marriage. You always were the grounded one. Please let me know what you are thinking. I love you more than air. Mom

Maybe mom was right. Maybe I am not so good for Edward. I remembered back to when he used to warn me of how dangerous he was. If I couldn't tell Edward what I was struggling with now, what kind of wife would I end up being? No, I knew this secret was worth keeping. I needed to handle this alone. I had to keep the hurt confined. I was sure that this was the reason Edward was not meant to read my mind. If he could, how disappointed would he be in me?

The last email was so Renee.

It's been a day and I still have not heard from you. I hope you're not upset with me. I know weddings are a happy time in every girl's life. I'm your mom and I am happy for you. Have you set a date yet? What plans have you made? Do you need me to help you? I'm sure there is a lot to do and getting ready for college too. Is the weather warming up? I can come up for awhile and help if you need me to. We could go shopping for your dress. Have you considered maybe a beach wedding? You could make the reception like a luau. Please contact me soon and let me know things are good with us. With all my love, Mom.

My headache was barely noticeable and my thoughts were a bit clearer. I decided that it was better to resolve Renee's concerns sooner rather than later. I began typing my defense.

Mom, don't worry, I'm not upset with you. You're my mom and my best friend and I love you. I don't want to tell you all the cliché lines even though they all would be true. We are very much in love. I want to spend forever with him. We have discussed this and we do communicate. I know in my heart this is not a mistake. Alice has graciously agreed to plan the wedding. It's not really my thing. I'm sure she will be in touch with you. Alice found me the perfect dress that was just like one her and I had talked about when I stayed the night at her house. The date will be July 15th. I know that is soon but it is before we have to go away to college.

Thinking quickly, building up my alibi, I fabricated the next part. It was much easier to lie in email.

Being married should help me to get financial aid. We really want to do this on our own. You have always told me how responsible I am. I know I can do this mom. It feels very right. Edward makes me feel safe and secure. Aside from our marriage, our educations are our priorities. The weather is getting nicer. I would love for you to visit but what about Phil? How is his leg? I have only a week and a half of work left at Newton's. I need to finalize my arrangements for college, but most of it is falling right into place. I will let you know my schedule if you really want to come and visit, but if Phil needs you, I understand. I would do the same for Edward. I really am sure about this. I love you so much. Bella.

I was hesitant to hit the send button, so I left it up on the screen. I had only managed to burn up an hour since Edward had left. I decided to do some laundry and make a grocery list. I gathered up my clothes, the towels from the bathroom and took them downstairs. I had a load washing 

within minutes. The shopping list took even less time when I realized that I had started one a couple of days before. I fixed myself some toast and a glass of milk. I heard the shower turn on upstairs and rushed to stop the washer from competing with Charlie's shower.

Charlie had left the TV on in the other room. He had been catching up on sports talk from games the night before. The announcers droned on about triple plays and pop flies. I sat alone at the kitchen table staring at the crumbs on my plate. I forced myself to finish all that I had fixed. It wasn't much, but I knew if I didn't eat something it would catch up to me later at work.

I didn't notice when Charlie came into the room to put his coffee mug in the sink. "Big plans today, Bells?" he asked.

"No dad, just work and I need to choose my classes and email them to my counselor."

"I am really proud of you. I know I haven't said so but I am now. School is very important and can really help you get somewhere in your future. Success in college can really help out down the road. These are important choices. Do you think that maybe your choice about getting …"

"No Dad, I know what I'm choosing is right" I cut him off quick. I knew where he was going with this. He wasn't the most subtle when it came to changing subjects, from college to wedding. I had made my decision and that was that. "I know where my priorities lie and school is at the top. Edward wants the same for me, for us both. I'm just adding to my support group. I wish you, of all people, could understand."

"Actually Bella, in a way I do." Charlie paused. I could see a look of hesitation on his face. It looked like he was trying to decide if he had more to say. He sighed and said "Your mom was everything to me. I often wonder if my satisfaction with keeping things the same was what drove your mom away. She is a very free sole and she thrives on new experiences no matter how sporadic and spontaneous they are. I prefer the constant and stable. They say opposites attract but the true test is staying together. We really are two very different people. I know Edward cares for you a lot and I know you believe you feel the same for him, but do you both have the same expectations in life? I'm not lecturing; I just would feel better if you would think about it."

"Yes, Dad, I have, I am and I will. I want to be with him and I need to be with him. I'm not mom. I can appreciate constant and stable. Edward does this for me and he always will. He wants what is best for me on my terms." Mostly I thought to myself. "Really Dad, this is a good thing and I want you to be happy for me."

He sighed and smiled what I believe to be a fatherly smile. "If this makes you happy and it's truly what you want, then I am happy for you. I just need time to get used to the fact. It just seems like I got my little girl home and she wasn't a little girl very long. She's a beautiful young woman starting her life." I could sense saying these things was difficult for him and he quickly changed the subject. "Well, I have to get to work. It's eight o'clock already." He said looking at the clock on the wall. "You have a good day and I will see you later." He slid his feet into his boots, grabbed his gun belt and exited out the front door.

That was probably the closest heart to heart Charlie and I would ever have. It was not a comfortable situation for either of us. This made me realize how much like him I really was. The most important difference was my situation was far from Charlie and Renee. I knew I was right, 

and Edward was right for me. I washed the few dishes in the sink, dried them and put them away in the cabinet. I restarted the washer and headed back upstairs.

As I entered my room to get the sheets from my bed, I was startled when I heard. "Were you going to send this?" Edward was setting at my computer and had read the email to Renee.

"I am but I want to be sure I have said everything I need to" I said. I began to take the sheets off the bed and he got up to help me. "Did you hear our conversation?" I probed.

"Yes," he replied "I was idling around the corner, waiting for Charlie to leave for work. I was aware that Charlie had his concerns. Most fathers have concerns about the man being good enough for their daughters. I have heard it before. I've just never had it be about me. What matters most, though, is how you feel." He took the wad of sheets and blankets from my arms and set them on the bed. Wrapping his arms around me, pulling me close, he leaned his face into my hair "Charlie is beginning to understand, Bella. I expect that Renee will too after she gets your email. It will work out. It will be fine. I will see to it. I have to admit the financial aid detail adds a nice touch, but you know that will not be an issue."

I stepped back to look up into his golden eyes. "It is a convincing detail. I need the paper trail to keep my parent's off my back until I figure out how to severe the ties." Saying those last words caused a lump to form in my throat. I was sure this minute bit of pain I was currently feeling would be nothing compared to what they would eventually feel upon learning of my end. I had read once that no parent wants to outlive their children. The fact remained that if I was to be changed, I would have to severe contact. They could never know what I had become. That was the rule. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard to force the emotion away.

"Oh," he said pausing. "I'm sorry, Bella, I hadn't considered what you must be thinking. It never occurred to me that you would be planning your own fictional demise. I just assumed I would handle those details." He pulled me close again and just held me in silence for several comforting minutes. "Is that what is giving you nightmares?" he asked breaking the silence.

"No, maybe, I don't know. It's just stupid dreams, but yes I have been thinking about this a lot. I know the rules and in a way my choices are very similar to what yours were. The Volturi are expecting me to change. You know better than I do what their alternative is. Anyway, it is part of the rules. My parents can't know what I'm going to become. I'm just new to this faking your death thing. I haven't figured it out yet." I couldn't look him in the eye so I picked up the sheets and blanket again and turned to the door. "I really need to start these and get ready for work". I heard him sigh and I could read the frustration in the sound.

Going down the stairs I listened intently to hear if he was following me. The lack of steps assured me I had avoided continuing this conversation. I put the load of clothes in the dryer and the sheets and blanket into the wash. I turned the settings and started the machine. Resting my hands on top of the washing machine I felt the warm air escape from the cracks in the lid. I bowed my head, closed my eyes and tried to strengthen my resolve and present a calm, collected attitude before I went back upstairs to get ready for work. I was startled when his hands slid onto my shoulders from behind.

"I'm so sorry, Bella." his voice just a whisper. "Your situation is so different from any I have known. You know my circumstance was black and white. I will help you figure this out." I was sure for a moment that I could read his mind. I could hear him saying again that there was 

another choice. It was that my changing did not have to happen. He would say we could run from the Volturi and hide from them. This was not the life I wanted to have with him. I did not want to put him or his family at risk. It would never be as easy as it would be to say it. This was a decision I was going to stand firm about. I was grateful that he did not vocalize the opinion because I would just have to list all the reasons that this choice was the worst option. First and foremost was the fact I wanted to be with Edward forever. To change was the only option that made sense and would cause the least amount of physical damage and risk to anyone I loved. My choice was concrete. This was my chosen path.

"They are my parents. I accept your suggestions but the responsibility is primarily mine. " I adamantly stated.

"Not exactly," he began. "After we are married the responsibility is shared. Bella, don't shut me out." I looked into his eyes and they held the sincerest form of hurt. I reached up to touch his face and he took my hand guiding it to his lips. His tenderness radiated within me and I could feel myself smiling. These moments were why I needed him for eternity.

"Can I drive you to work? Alice says the cloud cover will not break until noon." He asked.

"Really, it is not necessary. I can drive my truck. I'm only working till two, and the sun will be out then. I still have things to finish up before I can leave. You wouldn't want to wait around doing nothing."

"I don't have to wait. I can help. I can pick you up in Carlisle's car. The windows are specially tinted remember. He's not on call today. Indulge me, please" he smiled and my resolve melted again.

"Yes, of course." I caved.

"Put me to work. Your wish is my command." He jested.

"Really?" I smiled a sinister grin.

"Seriously, Bella you have to be at work in an hour and fifteen minutes. Not that I wouldn't prefer that you quit that job and spent more time with me, but responsibility builds character" He said in a parental tone but I could tell he was trying to stifle a laugh.

"Fine, fine, let's go." I went back up to my room and took a clean set of sheets from the top of my closet. As I turned around to face him he reached to take the sheets from me but I did not release them. "Are you sure you know how. It's not like you have any experience. You don't sleep and don't need a bed."

"Yes, but you do sleep and I do have a bed now, who do you think makes it?" A puzzled look crossed his face.

"I just assumed Esme or Alice. I'm sorry that was very chauvinistic of me. I should have known since you are good at everything." I felt very bad for underestimating him. Of all people I should've know better. "While you do that, I will finish my email."

I read through it again and there was nothing I would change. I took a deep breath and hit send. Before signing off I opened the welcome to UAS email again. I accessed the online catalog and began scanning the pages. I noticed that the Ketchikan campus had the most promising climate relative to cloudy days. Then after moving farther back in the catalogue I found it. The solution to one of my minor problems was Distance Education Services. I could actually complete course work and not have to be in contact with any humans. Would this be 

feasible? I would need a place with some serious technology installed. The booklet talked about audio conferencing and web interaction. It was reassuringly promising.

"What next?" Edward announced approaching from behind.

"Okay, just let me fill out this form and send it to my counselor. Then I need to get to Newton's." I quickly filled in my intended degree as Bachelor of Liberal Arts with an emphasis on General Studies and a minor in Literature. I checked the box indicating to the counselor to suggest a course load that I could review at a later time. In my peripheral view I could see Edward nod with approval. I shut down my PC and we headed out of the house.

Edward had opened the passenger door and his inhuman speed had him standing outside the driver's side before I ever reached the car. "I thought Esme told you showing off was rude?" I laughed.

"I wouldn't want to be the reason you were late to work. It might get back to Charlie and he might think me a bad influence" the sarcasm was thick in his velvety tenor. As if I would ever be late anywhere with the way he drove. I was sure to fasten my belt because for one he would expect it and two his driving still made me nervous. In no time at all we were parked in the farthest space on the right in front of the sporting goods store.

I saw by the clock on the dash that I had 15 minutes before start time. Mike's mom did the schedule and since my employment stint was nearing an end, she had given most of my hours to Katie, my replacement. I liked Katie well enough. She was more of a people person than I was. Her personality was bubbly but her aptitude for details about the merchandise was lacking. She was a very girly girl and I think this is why Mrs. Newton employed her. It gave her someone to relate to on the slow days.

Recently the traffic into the store was picking up. Mr. Newton had requested that I be assigned inventory of the stockroom and the floor. He hinted that since he was losing me as an employee it would be best to get this done before the good help left. His confidence in me made me feel good and a little guilty for bailing on him. I was committed to getting the task done before my last day.

"I'll be back at 2 o'clock sharp but in the Mercedes." Edward reminded. "I thought it would be nice to go to the meadow, relax and enjoy the sun."

"Yes, that would be nice." I said smiling, remembering how the ultraviolet rays of the sun danced across his skin, his every movement creating its own light show. The meadow on its own was a dream place of serenity, but with him there, it was a masterpiece beyond any in any museum. Without looking, I subconsciously checked to be sure the ring on my left hand was still there and secure. Just three days before, while we were at the meadow, Edward had materialized the ring from his pocket upon my request. I knew this gesture gave him great comfort. He was well aware of my feelings for him, but this was the largest hurdle of my commitment.

"You'd better get going. The sooner you start, may be the sooner you're done." I started to turn to open the door and from the corner of my eye I saw Mike coming around the side of the store. He was coming to work the same as me. In that very same instant Edward had tugged my arm with such precision that I was immediately turned back around facing him. My face stopped less than an inch from his. "I will be counting the minutes and you know minutes don't mean that much to me." He whispered. Then he placed his right hand on the side of my face and kissed me incredibly slowly. My hands moved up to his shoulders and around his neck. I had a sense that we were being watched. He exhaled into my face and I was intoxicated with the aroma. With my eyes closed I was sure I had the most contented grin on my face. "You're going to be late." His comment awakened me to the responsible world.

As I started to turn back to open the door, I noticed that Mike had passed in front of the car and was on his way toward the front door of the store. When he reached to open the door he half glanced back at the car and his appearance seemed a bit tense. "Was that for his benefit or mine?" I accused.

"I would have to say the benefit was mostly mine, although the look on your face tells me it could be a tie. The look on his face though," he paused and laughed "was priceless".


	5. Chapter 4 Disclosure

**Disclosure**

I was glad my task assignment would not have to be accomplished in the presence of Mike. I walked to the counter, trying not to make eye contact with anyone. I knew my face was rosy with embarrassment. I found my vest under the counter as always.

Mike was coming from the utility closet with broom in hand when he glanced at me but looked away quickly. Edward would definitely hear about it later if his little display added any difficulties to my work day. I tried to suppress the smile trying to form on my face when I thought about his kiss. I tipped my head just enough to let my hair fall to hide my face, and I walked as quickly as I could to the stock room.

Mr. Newton had left a clip board with preprinted inventory sheets for me to log my counts on. I had both the stockroom and the showroom floor to do. I decided, for today, it would be best to start the inventory in the stockroom. Evaluating the stack of forms, the number of shelves and boxes in the stockroom, there was no possible way that I would even get through half of it, by myself, in just 4 hours. In my opinion this was perfect.

I heard Mike reviewing the newest sales promotions the clerks were to push with Katie. It never really did any good. Katie pulled Mike into any sale she attempted to make whenever possible. I was glad I did not have to be a part of retail anymore. I always felt guilty offering items to people that I knew they did not need or want.

The back wall of the stockroom was beckoning to me. Ironically the page on top had most of the items in this row. I approached each sheet with a determination for accuracy; I owed that to Mr. Newton. If not for him, Mrs. Newton probably would have only given me the fewest and least desirable hours to work. I counted every item twice and if there was any discrepancy or doubt in my counting, a third or even fourth count was not out of the question. Surprisingly the time was flying by. It was already 1:15 and not one person had come to the back to intrude on my peaceful tick and tallying.

"You're awfully quiet back here. Getting much done?" It was Mike. Why couldn't he wait just 45 more minutes to check on me. Then I could duck out without much interaction under the pretense of only being scheduled till 2 o'clock. I was sure he had checked the log by the register and knew when my stint was up.

"I've got a good start, but it is a lot more work than I had expected. I never dreamed how much stuff was back here." I replied from my knees while I leaned over a box of thermal water bottles. I pretended to still be counting and did not look up at him. I saw that his shoes were not turning to walk away. He was going to pursue a conversation. Not wanting to be rude I stood to face him holding the clipboard at my waist with my good hand.

"Yeah, I've done this a lot of times with my Dad. I think he was actually overjoyed when you agreed to do this, but it's got to stink to do it alone. I can come and help you tomorrow" he offered.

"I didn't think you were working tomorrow?" I knew he wasn't and wanted to preserve the peace of my task.

"I'm not. My dad wants me to go hiking with him. You know getting in some father son time before I leave for school." He rolled his eyes.

"Mike that wouldn't be right; I'm sure that time with you is very important to him. They are going to miss you when you leave. Where is it you decided to go to school?" I knew he would head south probably somewhere in California.

"Cal State in Chico, it's going to be so great getting back to the sun. It's always so dreary here. Are you still decided on that University in Alaska?" He was making idle chit chat. I wished he would get to the point of what he really wanted to know.

Feeling a little defensive I moved the clipboard in front of my chest still holding it in my good hand. "Yeah, I just sent my declaration of my major to my counselor this morning. I still need to decide on my courses but I'm really looking forward to it."

Mike was looking at the clip board with a slightly surprised look on his face.

"What, aren't you looking forward to school? I know you said you were eager for sun but all the new people you'll meet and so many things to do. You know?" I asked and then realized he was not looking at the clipboard but at my left hand.

"Oh, yeah, yeah," he said trying to compose himself. "Nice ring. Did Edward give that to you?" I did not want to have this conversation with Mike Newton of all people, but there was no point in lying. He and his family would be getting an invitation any day now, I was sure.

"Yes he did. It was his mother's" I replied without any reservation.

He looked surprised and shocked. "Wow, so is it like an engagement ring or something?" he asked with a slight note of hopeful sarcasm.

"Yes it is" I said calmly, restraining my temper. I stared intently, waiting for his reaction. I was sure it would be a watered down variation of Charlie or Renee.

"Edward asked you to marry him?" He said confused.

"_Yes._" I said a little insulted. I knew most people probably wondered what Edward saw in me; if they only knew. I almost wanted to laugh but I kept my face straight and pretended to glare at Mike. I really didn't care what he thought.

"Wow, he's only been back a couple of months, but you just said you were going away to Alaska. Won't that be hard, you know I mean going away to school?" He was really prying, but this was a good way to make my plans believable.

"We are both going to go to UAS." I replied a little smugly.

I could see Mike was thinking fast trying to rationalize what he was hearing. "Yeah, I see, but you're not getting married right away? You're gonna do the long engagement thing, right? You know live together, test the waters?"

How this was any of his business I couldn't fathom and it was becoming irritating. Mike was crossing the line. It's not like he was a great confidant of mine. Sure he was my savior in gym and might have had some influence at helping me get this job but that was the limit.

I sternly retorted "No, the wedding is next month. Edward and I decided not to wait because we did not want wedding plans to interfere with our school. Anyway it would be difficult to get family and friends together after everyone leaves to go their different ways." I was proud of myself for that one, very creative. "As for living together Edward believes there are things that should be saved for after you're married." The truth in this case was the best medicine. Mike's jaw dropped. I knew his presumptions pulled up short.

"Right, sure, I can see that about him" Mike lied. He was as bad at lying as I was but I was getting better with all the practice I was getting lately.

"I really should get back to this inventory if I'm going to get it done before my last day." I said, setting the clip board down. I picked up the box of bottles to put it back on the shelf.

"Here, let me help" Mike stepped closer grabbing the box and in turn tilting it his way causing my right hand to slam into the shelf .

"Ow! Ow! Holy crow!" I yelled clenching my teeth, pulling my right hand close to me and bending over in pain. I had the fractured knuckle, again.

"Oh, crap, Bella. I'm sorry are you okay? Here let me see. What can I do?" Mike was panicking.

I stood up slowly taking deep breaths trying to breathe through the pain and get myself under control. I turned so my back was to Mike. I knew I had tears in the corner of my eyes. I tipped my head back looking up at the ceiling blinking rapidly to break up the water pooling there. When I regained most of my composure, I said tense but calmly "Mike, I'm fine. This is not the first time I have hit this spot on my hand. The doctor said I would probably be better off with a plaster cast. I might have to take him up on it. Just get me a plastic bag with ice in it. I'm sure I just need to ice it. That's what I did last time. It's okay Mike, really. You know how clumsy I get."

He looked at me, and I was sure he was remembering things from our stint in gym class together. He smiled a weak smile and turned running out of the storage room to the front of the store. I picked up the clip board, cradling my right hand close to my body. I put the inventory forms back where I got them from at the beginning of the day. I looked at the time clock. It was only 1:35 pm but I was sure my day was done. There was no way I could continue counting, writing and moving boxes.

As I came out of the stockroom door Mike was running at me with a store bag partly full of ice. "Come over here, behind the counter and put this ice on it." He said putting his hand on my back as we walked behind the counter. I sat down on the stool and gingerly removed my brace. I put the ice on top my hand.

"Mike, can you clock me out. I really can't work anymore today with this hand like this." I asked.

"Yeah sure, but do I need to take you to the hospital? Maybe you need an x-ray?" Mike asked with obvious concern mixed with guilt.

"No, Edward was going to pick me up when I got off. I'll just have his dad look at it." That seemed like a good response to him. I started to take my vest off and Mike stepped behind me to help. He folded it and put it under the counter. When he turned back around he asked "How did you hurt your hand anyway, you know, the first time? That was like before graduation, like around finals."

"I hit something, well, someone." I probably should not have gone there.

"Really" he exclaimed. "Was it Edward?"

"No." I said as if it were the most absurd thing ever said. I stood up looking out the front windows of the store hoping that Edward would be early. Sure enough the black Mercedes pulled 

up into the same spot Edward had parked when he dropped me off for work. The windows were tinted so dark it was not possible to see the driver.

I tucked my brace under my arm and announced like I was surprised "Oh, wow, Edward's early. That's good. Mike, don't forget to clock me out at 1:35, okay. I really do need to have Dr. Cullen look at this. See you guys later." I rushed to the store entrance turning around backwards, opening the door with my backside.

When I got to the passenger side of the Mercedes the door was open. I got inside and pulled the door shut with my good hand. I looked at Edward and meekly said "Sorry." He was looking back at the store intently staring with narrowed eyes.

"It's fine. It's quite obvious that you can't help yourself." He said with a conceited air. Then he glanced my way "Does it hurt much?"

"Only when I first hit it, but the ice helps."

"Well if Newton would have just stayed out of the way."

"He was trying to help. I should have just let him put the box back. How did you … Alice." I said rolling my eyes. Edward just looked at me with his sly half smile. With one more glare towards the store, he backed the car out into the street and quickly accelerated. The tires gave a quick shrill squeal.

In a very short time we were turning up his drive and he informed me, "Carlisle is in the kitchen, he is already thinking you will probably need to have a cast put on it. After sunset he can go with you to hospital and get it taken care of. It's best to keep the ice on it till then, to get the swelling down as much as possible. You will want to call Charlie and tell him." He parked the car in the garage. I really had no reply to anything he had said, he was right.

In the short distance from the garage to the house, he instinctively walked in the shadows of the trees. Upon reaching the porch, a ray of sun from heaven lighted upon his skin and danced like luminous fairy lights. I knew I was looking at him in awe but I couldn't help myself. He looked down at me, his face shadowed, but his smile was like the warmth caressing his exposed skin. As we stepped into the house the brilliance disappeared but his static beauty and personal appeal remained. This vision was still more than any one person should have the pleasure of experiencing. My good fortune at that moment made me giddy.

"Come over here under the light and let's take another look." Carlisle said exasperated. "I think it's just tender from the irritation from yesterday. For you, the plaster cast would be the best solution."

"I'll just call Charlie and tell him that we are going to go put a cast on it so he doesn't worry." Carlisle nodded and Edward handed me his cell phone, taking the bag of ice from me. As I dialed I saw him drain some of the water out of the bag and returned the bag to my hand.

There were two rings and Mark, one of the deputies, answered. "Forks Police."

"Yes, this is Bella, um, Swan is Dad there?"

"Just a second, he just went outside, let me get him."

I looked at Edward as he was running his fingers through my hair pulling it away from my face and tucking it behind my ear.

"Bells, you need me?"

"No, I just called to tell you I'm at the Cullens. I hit my hand again on a shelf in the stockroom at work today. Dr. Cullen looked at it again and he thinks it will heal better if I have a hard cast rather than the brace. He wants to wait for the swelling to go down and then he's going to take me over and put it on for me."

"Isabella, you really need to, I mean… It's a good thing there will be a doctor in the family to keep your medical bills down. You might want to see what it would take to install bumpers on you."

"Very funny Dad." I said not amused. Edward turned his head and chuckled quietly. "Can you pick something up for dinner on the way home?"

"Sure, no problem, I will see you later. Keep the ice on it and do what the doctor says."

"Goodbye Dad." I said hanging up the phone.

I sat there quietly for several minutes. Thinking about my conversation with Mike, maybe I shouldn't have told him so much. It really wasn't his business, he was so nosey.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward posed.

"I had an enlightening conversation with Mike today. At least it was for him."

"Yes, I'm aware. He's a lot more observant than I would have thought he would be, but he doesn't see much of what he is observing. He jumps to too many of the wrong conclusions. He's a wishful thinker too." I noted a bit of irritation and disgust in Edwards drift.

"Maybe I should have just blown him off and not said anything."

"No, it would have all come to light today or tomorrow. Alice mailed the invitations first thing this morning. She already had the envelopes filled out a day or so ago."

"We only told her three days ago that she could start planning."

"Yes, but this is Alice, she has probably been planning for longer. Knowing her she already has everything picked out, she just needs the confirmation. Once you locked in the date for her on Sunday, I'm sure she went online and confirmed her order and had it express shipped." Edward explained.

"I suppose she express mailed the invitations, too." I retorted with heavy sarcasm.

"Bella, don't get upset," his voice was calm and trying to be soothing but I found it very patronizing. "This morning, I told her to slow it down to a human pace and that seemed to make her understand. I recall you saying you wanted to do this right." I hated it when he quoted me.

"Yes, I did. It's fine. I should be happy because I know the plans are in good hands. Her heart is in the right place. How anyone could ever be mad at her, I will never see." I conceded.

"Yeah, tell me about it. I've been around her for some ninety years and have never seen anyone able to stay mad at her yet."

I sat and thought about the invitations in the mail. I'm sure Mike's mom would jump to the same conclusions. It didn't matter. Renee would not get hers until maybe Saturday. Then it hit me. I sat up straight and saw Edward shift out of the corner of my eye when he noticed my change in posture. Jacob would surely get his invitation tomorrow or was it possible, today.

"What? Are you okay?" Edwards face showed sudden concern.

"Um, just a nerve pinch I think. Got any Ibuprophen?" Edward left the room and went upstairs. My mind was racing. I hadn't spoken to Jacob since late Saturday. That conversation was the hardest thing I had had to do yet. How do you tell someone you love them, you have seen 

yourself having a life with them, but it was not enough? I had done it and it hurt me to the core of my heart. I was sure it would have been just as bad if maybe not worse for Jacob. I remember how I broke down crying uncontrollably for several hours after leaving him. Edward was there the whole time holding me, loving me. The love I had for Edward was enough.

In seconds Edward had returned with the painkillers, offering them up to me on his perfectly sculptured palm. "Are you sure you didn't pull a muscle or something when you reacted to hitting your hand?" he asked.

I was only half listening and half thinking about Jacob getting the invitation. "What? Oh, no I didn't pull anything, really." I stood up cautiously, my guilt making me feel nauseous. I felt a slight bit of reprieve being able to turn my back to Edward as I walked to the sink. I did not want him to see my face, as I was sure it reflected the turmoil I was feeling inside; they were feelings of deep anguish that reflected the ache for Jacob in my heart. I had told Edward the morning after that I was past it and it would not happen again. I tried to reassure myself. Jacob knew the wedding was going to happen. This should not come as a shock to him. Maybe I should have asked Alice to hold off on mailing the Black's invitation. It was too late now.

I took a glass from the cabinet, filled it with a little water, threw the pills to the back of my throat, titled my head back and drank the water in several swallows with my eyes shut. When I opened them, Edward was beside me with his back to the counter. He was looking intently into my face. "I can see the tension in your body. I don't have to look at your face to notice. Is this about Jacob? You can talk to me about this, really Bella. I don't know that I will understand but I can just listen. I am not judging you."

"I know, but I don't want you to get the wrong impression. I love you Edward now and forever. But I hurt Jacob and I feel more than just bad about it. I don't want to make it worse or slow down his recovery. I haven't called him, what else would I have to say to him. I'm not really even sure he wants to hear from me. I just have to believe things will work out." I tried to smile in his direction.

He reached out to me, putting one hand behind my head pulling me towards him. I leaned submissively into his chest, into his embrace. His other hand was stroking my hair and his lips kissing the top of my head. "You carry the pain of others inside you, claiming it as your own. Jacob has physically recovered from his injuries. Carlisle went down and checked him out yesterday releasing him from care. I know this isn't easy for him. I can imagine what it must feel like. Remember Bella that Jacob is human and he will move on."

"I didn't, move on." I said looking up at him. "Yes I started doing things that resembled a life but I was still looking for you within me. I only want him to find someone that can make him feel what I feel for you. I have no idea what to do to help him understand."

"Give it some time. He'll come around. He is one of your best friends and he has to know that hasn't changed for you." Edward turned to position me beside him and walked me back to the table to sit down. I heard my stomach give a loud grumble. "When was the last time you ate something?" He asked.

"Breakfast, I had some toast."

"Not exactly the breakfast of champions." Edward stood and crossed the room to retrieve a basket from the floor near the back door and my ice bag from the counter. "Change of plans. To keep you near a supply of ice, how about we have our picnic in the family room?"

"You planned a picnic, in the meadow, and I ruined it." I had forgotten the mention of the meadow from earlier in the day. Could this day get any worse? Okay who was I kidding? This was typical karma for me. However, Edward's presence predictably diffused my bad luck. He always kept me safe from harm when I was with him. The thought of my white knight at my rescue was reassuring.

"Bella, it's no big deal. We will have time for it later. We have the whole summer." I took his outstretched hand as he led me into the other room.

As I sat down on the sofa my stomach rumbled loudly again. Handing me the ice bag he turned to the basket unloading its contents. "How were you able to get this?" I asked.

"I stopped at the café and got it to go after I dropped you off this morning. I knew you would be hungry." He reassured me.

"Do you remember, I mean like from when you were human what kind of human things you liked? I mean, like favorite foods and stuff? I know they didn't have fast food and stuff back then or maybe it was too long ago. It's a stupid question, never mind." I regretted ever saying anything.

"No, it's not a stupid question and yes it was a long time ago. I don't know that I have ever considered it. I have lived as a vampire for long enough that this existence is all that I know."

"Oh, I guess I can kind of understand that. It's that whole human memories fade thing." But I don't think I really understood at all.

"There are memories I have tried to keep hold of; my mother's face, my father's voice but as with most people those do fade. I think that is why humans, people, hold on to photos and keepsakes. They help them retrieve the memories. I have very few of those things. I have no photos and only a few sentimental things of my mother's Carlisle was able to retrieve for me. I had no other close family after my parents died. Carlisle was it for me. There was no other option there. Memories for vampires are different though. Once we see it or experience it, it is engrained in our being. Our memories are permanent. We don't forget. It's part of our survival traits." Edward handed me a turkey sandwich and looked at me waiting for my response.

"Huh." I didn't know what else to say. My mind was jumping from one thought to the next. Trying to make sense of what I had been told and trying to relate to it. This was justification of why he was so good at so much. He knew a lot and would always know it. A pang of sympathy surfaced acknowledging the fact that he struggled to hold onto memories of his parents. Would I forget Renee and Charlie? I had times when I tried to remember my grandmother, her laugh, sitting on her lap when she read books to me. I never got to see her very much. Had I lost details as time went on? I was sure I had.

Taking a bite of the sandwich, I purposefully chewed slowly to keep my mouth occupied to deter the conversation. The silence between us was making me even more self conscious. I looked down and adjusted the ice pack again on my hand.

"Tell me what you are thinking? Please." His voice lilted through the air.

His situation in 1918 was not comparable to mine. If I were an orphan, as essentially he was and Alice was for that matter, things would be a little less complicated. "How did the others who had family handle it, after the change I mean? Weren't they curious about their family?"

"I suppose but there are other factors that take precedence. Usually the first few years after the change your hunger is so volatile that you are a danger to all humans. Your emotional attachments will not intervene over your hunger and thirst. The rules of anonymity and self preservation are very clear, too. No vampire can be exposed for what they are. The risk is too great to be seen and recognized after you are considered to be dead and forgotten. With us, our family, our lifestyle adds more complications. A coven as large as ours, you remember it's not the norm. We have to take extra precautions. I must admit that through the years there were challenges but we adapt and conceal ourselves. Before ever coming to Forks would you ever have thought we really existed?"

"Well, no." I replied "I never thought werewolves did either."

"True," he said with a smile. "What you know is very dangerous for you and even more so because my kind are aware of your knowledge. However, you are an intriguing conundrum to many of us for different reasons. I do regret the situation I have allowed you to put yourself in but" he continued putting a finger to my lips knowing I was going to argue with him "my love for you is something that makes my heart swell, like it might start beating again. It is very selfish of me to love you the way I do but I feel so alive when I'm with you."

"Me too." was all I was able to say. My eyes were pooling and my throat was tightening. I smiled at him and laughed. I probably looked ridiculous. A single tear escaped and ran to the middle of my cheek where he caught it on his index finger.

"Tears of joy" he asked.

"Joy and love" I replied.


	6. Chapter 5 Instinct

**Instinct**

The birds darted through the branches with waving leaves that moved like a sea of jade. The dense nature of the northeast territories had grown on me. I remembered when I was once disgusted with how lush and monochrome everything was. Green was the theme. A large part of the vegetation retained its hue throughout the seasons, forever lush and alive. The views in this region maintained a sense of eternal life and hid within them everlasting creatures.

The air was clean and the company comforting. Edward and I had spent the remainder of the afternoon and the early evening on the porch watching the day go by. I was positive that being immortal changed the perception you have about sitting around and not getting things done. There would always be a next day. As it was for me, I was still susceptible to the possibility of no tomorrow. This realization surged forth a small sense of panic. In the past year and three months I had ventured right to the brink of my demise several times. The outcomes would have been final if not for him. I looked up into his peaceful face and smiled. He gently squeezed my shoulder pulling me closer into him. He was my security.

Resting my head against his shoulder, I felt the serenity in our closeness. My desire to hold this moment forever was compelling. To be captured in this instant was like feeling invincible. A sudden chill advanced up my right hand. I looked down to move the ice bag off my hand to give my skin and nerve endings a reprieve from the frigid temperature, when I saw the bag had slipped off. I touched the top of my hand. The skin was not cold to the touch. As I moved the tips of my fingers to the crescent battle scar, the intense iciness was only evident there.

"I see the swelling has gone down. That's good. Carlisle should be able to get the cast to form closely to your hand and keep you from injuring yourself further." He said rubbing my arm reassuringly. "It looks like the cloud front is moving in. It will be safe for us to go to the hospital soon and get this taken care of."

"Sorry, for all the…" I began but quickly and ever so gently his finger was under my chin raising my face to his and he was kissing me.

"Never be sorry, I treasure every moment I am with you no matter what the circumstance." He breathed sincerity with every word he said. "Carlisle has gone to get the car. We should meet him in the front."

As predicted the black Mercedes was out front, running and pointed ready to proceed down the drive. The trip to the hospital did not seem to take as long as I expected. Possibly because I might have dozed off for a few minutes. I opened my eyes after I heard a faint whispering. "I was trying not to wake you. I am sorry if I disturbed you."

"No, I was only resting my eyes. I'm fine, really."

"You're an awful liar. I can tell you're tired. It has been a long day especially since I suspect you never took my advice about sleep when I left you this morning." I had no argument. I was very tired but still leery of deep dream filled sleep.

The sky was overcast, masking the fiery hues of the sunset behind. Carlisle parked the car in the designated doctor's parking. Edward opened the door speaking aloud "I'm fine Carlisle, I don't sense any major situations going on in there. If I need I can always come back to the car." His statement caught me off guard until I realized he was responding to Carlisle's thoughts. We 

advanced down the familiar path, through the doors, and on to the admittance desk. I was sure the nurse was one I recognized from previous visits.

"Good evening Dr. Cullen. I didn't think you were on call this evening." She chided.

"I'm not. I need to upgrade Ms. Swan to a plaster cast. It seems the brace she was using wasn't quite enough protection." He said grinning warmly at me. I was not offended until I looked at Edward who was stifling a laugh. I was sure the clench of my jaw and the squint of my eyes portrayed that I did not appreciate his sentiment.

"I already pulled the chart. Her dad came in earlier and filled out the usual forms. You're all set." I was surprised at first, but then thinking about it more, I was sure this was becoming a bit of a routine for Charlie. What with stitches, head trauma due to a near miss of vehicular manslaughter, the various times Carlisle intervened without the necessity of the hospital and that was only the local incidents.

"Beth, would you log me down for treatment bay 4. This really shouldn't take that long." Carlisle asked the nurse.

"Sure thing" she said.

We walked a short way down the hall and turned into a room I remembered it from that icy day I was almost made into spam by Tyler's van. Carlisle walked to the far end of the room and started opening cabinets and pulling out supplies. "Bella, just sit on this bed and put your hand up here on this table." He said rolling the table closer to me. "Any color preference?"

"No, it doesn't matter."

"Blue." Edward said smiling. I looked at him with slight confusion. "What? I like the color blue on you." he defended.

"It's a cast, on my hand, not a sweater."

"You will have this for at least a couple weeks and essentially you are wearing it."

"Fine, whatever," I had to tell myself not to sweat the small stuff.

Within a matter of minutes Carlisle had wrapped my hand in several layers of soft cotton. Then he turned and retrieved a pan of blue fiberglass material that had been soaking in water. With astute accuracy and speed the cotton was covered in the wrapping that would harden into a protective fortress for my fracture. "Two weeks should be about right but you need to take it easy and let it heal. Don't underestimate the limitations of a cast." He lectured.

As Carlisle turned to put away the remnants of the casting supplies sirens could be heard growing rapidly in volume outside. Looking to Edward I saw the look of great concern on his face. "A semi truck hit a Subaru pickup and they're bringing in the driver. I think you might need to stay and help with this one, Carlisle. I will take Bella home and come back to get you."

I immediately jumped to my feet and walked quickly to Edward's side.

"I'll call your cell phone. These types of accidents can be pretty bad." Carlisle replied.

"This one is." Edward said as he took long strides to get to the door. Suddenly, with his arm around my waist, he pulled me back against the wall as if to get out of the way. With his other arm he reached across his nose and mouth to cover them with his shirt sleeve. My pulse began to race, but not because of the chaos I knew would be coming through the door but for Edward to hold it together until we got outside. He saw the panicked concern on my face. "I'm fine Bella, just wait till they all get by and then we can get out."

The next few moments that passed only faintly registered in my mind. With a loud bang the door flew open to make way for the gruesome vision entering the room. In that very second a wave of rusty, metallic, salty odor assaulted my sinuses. The swell of nausea was rapid. It felt like my stomach was moving up into my throat. My ears rang with a high pitched din. I was hearing all the commotion of vitals and treatment plans, but the noise in my ears made the words being said incomprehensible. I felt my skin go clammy with perspiration. I tried to resist by closing my eyes and holding my breath but the dark made it worse. The next thing I could feel was my knees buckling and Edward's grip tighten around my waist.

I was suspended in the air. It was like when you were ten years old and on top of the monkey bars, supported by two of the bars. Holding yourself there, not by your hands but by resting your neck, tipped back against one bar and your knees bent down, hooked over the other. Then I started to realize the bars were not stable but moving slightly up and down. The motion was making me sick to my stomach.

"We should take her back inside. Someone needs to check her out. She really doesn't look so good." this voice was a woman's. I knew it but could not relate it to a specific person.

"She just needs fresh air. She can't handle the blood." This was Edward I was sure. I felt myself going lower and then part of me landing on something solid, hard and stable, maybe a bench. "Bella, breath deep, we're outside. Come on, just breath deep and get the smell out." His words were soothing and made perfect sense. My ears chimed on but not as loud.

"Here try these, smelling salts. It should bring her around."

There was a small pop and then an acrid ammonia smell invaded my sinus. My face flexed into a grimace and I tried to pull my head back but couldn't. A solid bar had my head supported securely in place. My breath quickened and my lungs gasped for air.

"Bella, it's okay. We're not in the room, we're outside. Just give yourself some time to get your bearings."

Spontaneously I dove to my left, rolling away from him, and felt my middle convulse with a wretch. Please tell me this was not happening. I knew my left hand and knees were braced firmly on the ground and his arm was supporting my chest with his other hand restraining my newly casted arm. I forced myself to swallow hard and then took several deep slow breaths. I was not going to let myself get sick. After about what I thought to be ten more breaths, I shifted my weight back so I was sitting on my knees. Edward was kneeling behind me still supporting my right arm. I hid my face in my free hand knowing I looked a total mess. I felt Edward sweeping my hair out of my face and back behind my ears.

"Bella, it's okay, you can't help it. Just relax it will pass."

"Do you want to bring her inside and have a doctor check her out?"

"I'm here, Beth, I can take it from here. They need you inside to help document the vitals in the chart. Things are stable in there at the moment. I'll be right in as soon as I'm sure Bella is fine." The voice was Carlisle. The next sound was someone walking away.

I moved my hand and wiped some perspiration off my forehead.

"Do you want to stand or just sit here some more?" Edward asked.

"Just one minute, please." I responded holding up a hand to ward off assistance.

"Bella, it's really very common for people to have weak constitutions at the sight of blood. Especially that much blood."

"It's not." but I couldn't finish for fear of the nausea resurfacing.

"It's not the sight but the smell that gets her. She actually smells it." Edward clarified.

I felt Carlisle put his hands on the side of neck to feel for my pulse. I opened my eyes and he was staring very intently at me. "Interesting, well you have this under control. Here are the keys, I'll call you later." He stood and walked quickly back into the building.

"Can you stand?" Edward grasped my shoulder to steady me as I positioned my legs beneath me to stand up. Very cautiously I rose to a vertical position.

"Is that guy going to be okay? Is he going to make it?" I'm sure the shock of what I briefly witnessed was evident.

Edward stopped and I could tell that he was listening. "He's stable. He broke his jaw, has a fractured eye socket and several cuts on his face. They are still checking him for internal injuries. So far he is stable and it appears he will need some facial reconstruction to secure his breaks. He's in good hands but will have a long recovery. Let's just worry about you, getting you home to bed and yes, I know your fine." He opened the passenger door for me to get in.

On the way home I could not get the vision of the blood soaked victim out of my mind. I had never actually seen his face as it was covered in gauze and other restraints but the vivid red was everywhere. I could never do what Carlisle does. I had no desire to be a doctor what so ever. I had renewed respect for Carlisle's ability to restrain his thirst. I wondered if the intense aversion that I have was similar to the intensity of the attraction vampires would have. With a look of curiosity I turned to Edward.

He had just pulled up behind Charlie's cruiser and turned the ignition off. "What? I can see you want to ask something."

"What was it like for you, the sensations I mean, right when they came in the room? For me it was like being smothered in a sickening cesspool. It was like I hit a wall of sensory overload and made me excessively nauseous. I think for me it's just easier to shut down and pass out."

"Well, my senses go into overdrive and I have the urge to hunt but as long as I can remain in a sense of heightened conscious thought I can maintain control." He paused in thought. "Here let me try again." He said taking my left hand. He turned my hand so my wrist was exposed and facing up. "How do you feel when I do this?" He moved his lips down to my wrist and gently kissed it. He slowly repeated his kisses moving up my arm. I felt goose bumps appear on my skin and my heart began to race. I watched intently as his lips caressed my skin. He stopped and looked up at me waiting for my answer.

"Good." was all I could say.

"Come now, Bella, it's stimulating, your heart is racing, I'm sure you wouldn't mind if I continued doing it."

"No."

"At a certain point, if I continued seducing you, you would probably need to have a mental discussion of what your body wants to do and what you know is morally right in your mind. An inner struggle let's say. I admit I've had these same personal conflicts at times when I'm around you." He smiled that crooked but endearing smile that always made me melt. "Restraining the 

thirst is almost the same except the seduction to feed can be instantaneous. With our sharp reflexes and super speed it would be quicker than an instant to you. I have to keep aware of situations when I am around humans so I'm not caught off guard. My gift does give me an edge. I have forewarning to detour less desirable situations. At the hospital I was not listening to thoughts as close as I should have. I'm sure I could have hastened our departure if I had been paying closer attention."

"I thought it was something like that." I said and then was overcome by a huge yawn. My fatigue was getting the best of me.

Charlie was in his usual place in front of the TV. "Hey, Dad" I announced entering the house. Usually it was him that would call out to verify it was me and predictably it always was me. We walked into the front room and sat down together on the couch.

"I see they were out of bumpers, but the blue cast is pretty snazzy."

"Always the comedian" I retorted rolling my eyes. "I'm surprised you're here. They brought this guy into the hospital that was in a little truck that got plowed by a semi. It was really gross."

"Yeah, Mark took that one. He was already out on patrol. Did you hear if the driver was going to be okay?"

Edward replied "He broke his jaw and fractured his cheek bone near his eye. Head injuries always bleed a lot. They were checking for internal injuries when we left. Carlisle stayed to help out."

"Well, that guy is in good hands." Charlie responded.

I yawned again loudly and leaned towards Edward resting my head on his shoulder.

"Bella why don't you just admit you're beat and go to bed? I have to leave and go pick up Carlisle anyway." Edward stating the obvious in front of my dad left me no recourse for argument. Maybe I would be so tired that sleep would come quickly and soundly.

"You do look pretty tired Bells." Charlie was actually taking Edwards side. Maybe he was coming around to seeing Edward for the great guy he is and how much he does care about my well being; nah probably not.

"Walk me out?" Edward stood taking my hand, leading me to the door. "Don't wait up. I'll be back after Charlie is sleeping. Please love, for me. You're practically walking dead on your feet."

"I wish. Then I wouldn't have to sleep."

"Not funny, seriously, your health requires it."

"Yes, I will" was my reply. His hand stroked the side of my face as he leaned in and kissed me.

"Goodnight, see you in the morning." He turned to walk to the car glancing back and motioning with his hand for me to scoot off to bed. He could be so patronizing and loveable all at the same time.

I shut the door and walked to the doorway to the front room.

"Does it hurt much?" Charlie asked

"No not now, and hopefully not again. This thing is really well padded and pretty solid. I hope I don't knock myself out with it."

"If anyone else had said that I would laugh, but…"

"Yeah whatever Dad, I'm going to go try to figure out how to shower and get to bed."

"Just put one of those little trashcan bags over it and secure it with some rubber bands. I can help you cover it if you need me to?"

"No, just watch your show. I can manage, but thanks Dad." I said smiling at him.

It was rather difficult, especially since I'm right handed. It was actually more difficult to wash my hair with only my left hand. I managed to get shampoo in my eyes and had to retrieve the soap from the shower floor three times. Never had taking a shower drained me of my last bits of energy. I kept the rubber bands and plastic liner with my toiletry bag. I turned out the light, flopped down in to bed, just narrowly missing my head as the cast bounced back up and landed again nearby. Sleeping with this thing wasn't going to be much fun either. Pulling my feet up close to my chest I was able to work the blankets down and out from underneath me. Once underneath the covers it was not long before my eyes closed, my breaths slowed and I was totally relaxed, sleeping.

After an unfathomable amount of time I had become restless and had attempted to raise my hand above my head to turn over. My right hand was stopped suspended in mid air. Being only slightly asleep the realization came that something had a hold of me. I sat bolt upright in bed. "Huh. What? Hey!" I said panting with panic.

"Bella, hold on. I just blocked you from giving yourself a concussion." Edward was standing beside the bed holding my casted arm in his hands. "The cast is to protect your hand; but I'm not sure what's going to protect the rest of you from the cast."

"Not funny, I'm just not used to it yet." I grumbled groggily.

"Just lie back down and go back to sleep. I'll be watching to make sure you don't mame yourself."

I really didn't care. I thought as I fell back to sleep.

I found myself in the local Thriftway store as I have been many other times performing the regular practice of restocking the shelves in Charlie's kitchen. I always started in the produce area. The fruits and vegetables were very appealing with their bright colors and fresh smells. Typical requirements during a visit were apples, oranges, onions, and maybe potatoes or bananas. Charlie liked it best when you kept it basic. Standing in front of the bin of apples, I scanned them for the perfect size and shape, like it really mattered once you were chewing it up in your mouth. Then Jacob was beside me leaning against the bin facing me. "These are so great Bells." He said as he bit into one a second time. "Here you try one." he said picking one out and tossing it to me.

"I very adeptly caught it and held it to my nose. It had no desirable smell, like I remembered it should have. I took a bite and was disgusted by the pithy texture and a putrid taste. It made me want to gag. I could not make myself chew again. I spit the portion out onto the floor. I looked in shock at the apple and its appearance was what was to be expected. No bruising, perfectly red, the inside was not mushy or brown in appearance but beautifully white. I smelled it again and found no discernable scent. I found a trash can and disposed of the apple. There would be no apples bought today. I looked back to the apple bin and Jacob was gone.

I cautiously ventured on through the produce area smelling fruits and vegetables and even squeezing them for freshness. Nothing smelled and I dared not taste any. I decided against anything here and ventured on to another part of the store.

At the back of the store was the meat department, with brightly lit cases of sanguineous flesh on display for all to see. Glorious cuts of meat with exquisite designs of marbling and texture. Charlie always enjoyed a good strip steak. I, on the other hand, would eat it but always felt a little heavy after the fact. My stomach grumbled loudly and I could feel bubbles of air attempting to fill the void within. The butcher was behind the counter grilling a steak on a small grill. "Almost done, you will love the taste of this." the butcher said.

I inhaled and caught a strong whiff of the searing beef. The scent was repugnant; its distasteful aroma leached into my lungs causing a spasm of coughing. Edward was there behind me holding my shoulders "Bella, are you okay?" His grip was firm and his voice exuded concern.

The fit made me feel groggy and tired but I replied "I'm fine. I just need to get away from this smell. That grill and that stuff really stink." I pushed my empty cart on, away from the cause of my disdain. I began to relax, my breathing restored and walked into what appear to be a beverage aisle. No, it looked more like an isle you would see in a liquor store with rows of bottles of wine. The many hued bottles with equally attractive labels all lined up on both sides. Fancy scripts depicting vintage years and vineyard names and locations.

Heading down the aisle, I approached and ominous dark robed figure. I recognized the robe as Volturi but could not decipher a face in the darkness of the hood. "You look thirsty. I can help you." I should have been very afraid; but all I could seem to focus on was the bulbous glass in his hand. He gave a quick but gentle twist of his wrist swirling the contents ever so gently, like he was trying to teach or lure me to something. "Watch the thickness of this selection. See the many fingers on the sides? This one has superior quality, makeup and consistency."

I was mesmerized as the amethyst liquid rotated in the crystal globe. "Note the violet tones. This was a very young vintage but a fine one. Ms. Reed June 2006 was a very good find." he droned continuing his explanation. My mouth began to water and I licked my lips. They did not seem to be parched but definitely desired to feel the fluid on them. I could not tear my gaze from the juices before me.

"You need to be sure and not move the glass too sudden or briskly as to bruise the precious nectar within. You must always appreciate and respect the bounty considering the effort that goes into retrieving it. Now this motion will release molecules in the extract allowing you to smell the aroma, also called the bouquet. Smell the blood and contemplate the aroma."

I was so transfixed on the drink before me that I did not comprehend the lesson being taught. In two very rapid but graceful strides I crossed quite a large stretch to greedily take the cup into my hands. The appearance was riveting. I could not recall a time I had seen anything more beautiful and I had it in my hands. There was a great sense of anticipation welling up within me. With both hands I gave the glass a tender coil. My nerves accelerated my breathing, my excitement was peaking. _Not too fast Bella._ I told myself. I needed to control and savor this moment because I just knew it would be a pinnacle experience. I bent slowly over the glass expelling all the air from my lungs. Then I inhaled deeply.

I sat bolt upright in my bed, my arms clutching my sides and the muscles in my abdomen tightened. My head was pounding and I was breathing heavy and erratic. I was thoroughly repulsed. My expectation of the exalted encounter had become the horrific aversion that afflicted me.

Cold hands were on my face wrenching my head upward. I moaned in discomfort. "Bella, what's wrong are you sick?" His index finger was on the artery of my throat. I could feel his cold breath accentuated on the droplets of sweat forming on my neck and forehead. My mouth was dry and getting dryer from the gasps of air entering and exiting my body. It was getting hard to focus on what I was feeling. My head felt heavy and my neck was struggling to hold it vertical. I dropped my chin to my chest, squeezing my eyes closed. "Bella, can you answer me. You have to try if you want me to help you."

"That smell," these were the only words I could manage to get out. I quickly kicked my feet off the side of my bed and thrust my head between my knees. This position usually helped steady my mind and restrict my abdomen to deter expulsions.

"Bella, you were dreaming. There is no smell here. Were you remembering what you saw at the hospital? Take deep breaths and relax. Breath in and see there is no smell of blood here." My composure was slowly coming back after what seemed like an embarrassingly long time but was really only minutes.

When I was finally able to sit up, Edward was kneeling before me. "You were talking about food in your sleep. Your system is telling you that you need to eat." Edward lectured.

"Ew, no. Not yet." I wrinkled my nose and scowled. What my dream was telling me was what vampires desired most to consume was what caused me to have the most incapacitating side effects.

Edward moved to sit beside me on the bed and ever so gently place his arm around my shoulder. He leaned in touching his forehead to my hair. I felt his cool breath on my neck. Against the remaining perspiration on my neckline the sensation was refreshing almost exhilarating. I sighed and a noticeable release of tension occurred as my shoulders relaxed and I allowed my eyes to droop. Edward picked up on this immediately and began to intentionally blow a steady stream across my skin. He gathered my hair up in his hand and wafted more of his breaths across the nape of my neck. This time I sighed with an audible tone of content. "Does that help?" he asked

"Yes." I whispered

"Do you feel better? Maybe you should lie down and rest a bit more?" he suggested.

I was so relaxed and responded "Oh, yes." I started to lie back down onto my bed and  
I glanced at my alarm clock. It read 8:30. When my head hit the pillow, I rolled my face into it and moaned. Before Edward could start with more questions of concern for my health I clarified in a muffled voice through the pillow "I need to get up and get ready for work."

"Really, Bella, if you don't feel well you are entitled to call in sick."

"I'm not sick. I'm fine. I just need to go to work and get my mind concentrating on something else, something mundane like inventory."


	7. Chapter 6 Gone

**Gone**

I was able to convince Edward that I was more than capable of getting myself ready and get to work on my own, even with the added complication of a cast. It's not like I hadn't done it thousands of times before. That was of course before I became number one on the most wanted hit list for vampire trackers and required a round the clock body guard. However, since the battle last weekend had remedied my primary risk, I was hoping my restrictions were reduced. Alice was still monitoring Aro and Ciaus' decisions but no concerns were noted.

With all these arguments on my side I litigated that I should have some of my freedom returned. Grudgingly Edward agreed after I pointed out the fact that several members of his family felt he had a tendency to over react. "Only, when it comes to you," he said "Look at what the Smithsonian does for the Hope Diamond. You are my Hope Diamond." His sincere adoration always reminded me of how much I had and most people would never have. "But please do better than just toast this morning and have a descent lunch before you leave. You need to keep your health up if you want to get the cast off on time. Milk wouldn't hurt either." Compromise was becoming a standard with many of our discussions. Even with his consent I was sure that eyes would be upon me in the shadows, if not watching my future.

I made it to work with plenty of time to spare. I parked where I usually did, by the dumpster. I did not see Mike's suburban. I hoped he had decided to go spend the day with his dad. Kevin, a college student that worked every summer at Newton's since he was in high school, had already opened up the store a couple hours before my shift. He was more or less assistant manager during the summer. He stood behind the counter perusing an _Outdoor Life_ magazine when I came in.

I retrieved my vest when Kevin looked up from his reading. "Hey nice cast, you should get people to sign it and jazz it up."

"Yeah probably not," was my response to his suggestion.

He continued "Mr. Newton said it would be easier if you worked on the inventory out here, since there shouldn't be any lifting involved, but if you need help just give me a yell. He's got it all outlined on that clipboard back there."

"Yeah, thanks, I will." Kevin was a good guy and he appreciated the fact that he had a steady place to work when he came home from school during breaks. He went to school in Seattle where Ben and Angela would be going. I wondered if they would become friends having come from the same small town; probably not considering the size of the school and the volume of students. They would have plenty of opportunities to make new friends from other places. Why go away to meet someone from home, but you never know. For me it would be different, I would do my best not to make any friends for fear of wanting to have them for dinner.

From the number of sheets on the clip board I could tell I would have no problem staying busy. I clocked in and went straight to work, straightening shelves and counting merchandise. I was only interrupted a couple of times when I noticed customers in obvious need of assistance. Again I took special care in my tallies and double checked them often. I had full confidence that in my five hour shift I would be able to complete all the sheets I had.

I was about two thirds done when I heard someone say my name. I turned to see Angela smiling and standing right beside me. "Oh, hey, what are you doing here?"

"I came in with my dad. He had ordered some clay pigeon thingies and came to pick them up. So what's new with you?"

"Not much, just work. Need to make money for school." Keeping up the charade was becoming quite redundant.

"Yeah, I thought I would need to get a job when I get up to Seattle but my Dad wants me to wait until I get through my first semester. He said he would give me a spending allowance" Angela deepened her voice to sound like her dad and continued. "It will be a good time for you to learn to budget but you still need to make school your first priority." Then she went back to her normal voice. "You know how it is. Parents need to teach us those life lessons." She said making air quotes with her hands. We both laughed but we knew he was probably right in his thinking. "Are you working all summer, till you leave for school?"

"No actually I work tomorrow, Sunday and Monday is my last day. Mr. Newton asked me to do the store inventory. It keeps me pretty busy and the time goes by pretty fast" I explained.

"Kinda hard with a cast isn't it? Didn't you just have brace? What happened?" she asked.

"Oh I banged it on a shelf yesterday when Mike and I were trying to put a box up on a shelf. You know me. Dr. Cullen thought I would be better off with this." I gave a guilty as charged kind of smile.

She laughed and said "Yeah and I bet Mike was a lot of help with the box if it involved helping you. You know he always liked you?"

"I had my suspicions but in the beginning I knew Jessica liked him and I just couldn't do that to her." This was true and Jessica was a great excuse to keep distance between him and me. He really wasn't what held my interest.

"But I bet she wouldn't have done the same if she were in your shoes." I knew Angela was right.

"I guess that makes me the bigger person, huh." I said smiling.

"That's why I like you Bella. You don't mess around with all that back stabbing petty stuff. You are like, no strings attached. Hey since you're not working on Saturday do you want to go to Olympia with us. My mom is driving but I really don't think Ben wants to go. It would be fun to make it a girl's day and then I could let him off the hook. Maybe Alice could come too."

This actually sounded like fun to me. Maybe this was what I needed. "Sure I don't think I have any plans. I can check with Alice later and call you. Is there a chance we could stop at a bookstore?" I really hoped there was.

"Yeah, my mom would love that. She likes to go to Borders every time we go. My dad's looking at us, so I guess he's ready to go. Call me later and let me know."

"Sure, okay." I actually felt good about this. This could be a fun get away. With Angela it would surely be a pretty causal day. It definitely had potential. I didn't have many friends from school but Angela was definitely the best one.

It was about a half hour till my shift ended and I had finished all the sheets of my assignment. I was quite satisfied with myself. As I came back from putting the clipboard away in the storage room I noticed Mrs. Newton come into the store. She looked like she was on a 

mission. She went behind the counter, set down what looked like a small stack of mail and her purse then retrieved the office key from the cash register drawer. Grabbing her purse she retreated back to the office.

Kevin was with a customer so I went and manned the register just in case the need arose. When I walked behind the counter I noticed the mail Mrs. Newton had left lying there. Fallen halfway out of the stack was an elegant off white envelope with beautifully scripted writing on it. I knew instantly what it was. Then it hit me. Today was the day that the Black's would receive theirs too.

My good mood dissolved. I was instantly anxious. I looked at the clock. Only twenty five more minutes and I could leave. I looked at the phone on the counter but knew it would not be the time or the place to make the call. Would Jacob even talk to me anyway? He said he was 'going to be good' and be my friend but how? I could only imagine how hard this was for him. I had to check with him.

I glanced around to see if anyone was looking and moved the invitation to the bottom of the stack of mail. I only had twenty minutes till I could clock out and bolt to the nearest pay phone. I stood froze, my mind racing trying to decide what to do. I should call. No, it was only 15 minutes to Billy's house, but what if Jacob wasn't there. He could be anywhere for that matter. It would be best if I called. I don't want to panic him and make things even worse. I was so good at doing that. There was a chance that he didn't even have the invite yet. Maybe mail is slower in La Push. Yeah right, not with my luck.

The office door opened and I heard Mrs. Newton's platform heals clicking on the tile. Oh, please, don't be looking for your mail. I don't want to talk about it with you. Mike had probably already told her or maybe not. Did boys confide and gossip with their moms? I had no conceptual idea. Then I realized the noise was heading away from me down the hall to the restrooms. The second hand on the clock was marking off each tick, keeping the same perfect pace it always did. It was like a funeral march, slow and steady. My heart was keeping double time.

"Bella, Bella. If you want to ring this up that's fine." Kevin's voice brought me back to reality. He had a customer wanting to purchase a sleeping bag.

"What? I'm sorry. I'm in the way." I said stepping back away from the register and pretended to straighten up under the counter. I checked the supply of bags and decided to go in the back to bring out some more. That used up about 5 minutes.

"You know Bella, were not busy and you get off in just 13 minutes anyway. You're looking like you really need to be somewhere. Just go ahead and go and I will clock you out. It's no big deal." Kevin shot me a smile like he understood. I was sure that whatever it was that he thought was so important to me was probably not even close to scraping the truth.

"Really, that would be great. I will be here, ready to work early tomorrow I promise." I did the fastest job of folding my vest, practically throwing it under the counter. With my left hand I patted my pockets as I sprinted out of the front door of the store. I had no change in my pockets only truck keys. I ran to my truck and checked the floor board. I was in luck. I found change under the seat and among the various coins was two quarters, jackpot. Running, but not too fast, I crossed the gravel lot to the pay phone under the only street light for two blocks.

I dialed Jacob's number and hurriedly deposited the coins. It rang three times and a recognizably gruff voice answered "Hello."

"Billy, is Jacob there? I really need to talk with him." I said trying to hold back any panic in my voice.

There was a pause and a sigh. "No, Bella, he took off last night and hasn't come back yet. He's not here."

"Do you know where he went? Is he down at the beach? Is he with Quill and Embry? I really need to speak with him."

"Are you okay?" Billy was concerned about me, when he really should be for Jacob and what I was doing to him. Maybe they didn't get anything in the mail yet. Maybe I still had time.

Very timidly and with hope for the answer I was wanting, I asked "Did you get anything like an invitation in the mail yesterday?"

"Yes, we did." He said we so Jacob saw it. 'We' didn't have to mean 'we' read it. It could be 'we' because it was addressed to both of them and maybe Jacob hadn't seen it because he wasn't home yet.

"Did Jacob see it? Please Billy I have to know."

"Yes, Bella." Billy started his reply but I cut him off.

"And he took off upset after he saw it. Do you know where he went?"

"Honestly Bella I don't but he just needs to cool off. I will tell him you are looking for him. He's got us to help him work through this and Bella I know you didn't mean for this to happen. Just give it some time and be sure of your own path." Billy did not sound accusing and I was grateful for that.

"Yeah, thanks anyway Billy." I hung up the phone and leaned against the light pole. I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to think about what I should do next. I needed to talk to Alice but not at her house not around Edward. How would I get her here? I was out of quarters. I walked back to my truck. I found a spiral note pad and a pen Charlie had put in the glove box, with the intent of me keeping track of my mileage every time I gassed up, which never happened. I got in the truck and began writing on the paper. _Alice I need to talk with you alone. Alice I need to talk with you alone. Alice I need to talk with you alone._

Every so often I would look up at the road in front of the store to see if she was coming or worse yet Edward. If I knew Edward like I thought; he would see in her mind that I needed to talk with her. I was sure he would grant me this small request. I was just asking to talk with his sister. Maybe he would just see it as a girl thing. But then again, when did I ever fall in to tendencies of regular girl things, practically never. I wrote the sentence about six more times when a couple pulled up on a motorcycle I recognized.

I jumped out of the truck but did not walk to the bike. Why was Jasper here? I know Alice was not supposed to be driving the Porsche around Forks but couldn't she have driven Carlisle car or Esme's Van or if nothing else couldn't she have driven the motorcycle herself. To most people her petite size would have eliminated her as a candidate for handling a bike of this size and power. However, being a vampire with super strength and other abilities negated the fore mentioned.

Alice lilted over beside me and leaned against my truck. "You needed to talk with me? Is it about Saturday? It will be a clear day and you and Angela will have a good time. Don't worry about me. I already have plans." she quickly rattled off and then, at the finish, turned and smiled at Jasper. Everything about her was positive energy. She was always happy these days and I wondered if she ever thought the worst before the best? I figured it was not in her nature.

I looked back to Jasper. He did not seem to have heard Alice's comment. Instead he was inspecting me with his gifted sense. I could tell by his almost squinted eyes and his slightly raised right eyebrow. Edward had asked him to come and survey my emotional well being. Did they see me as teetering on the brink of a great unbalance? In disgust, I tried to cross my arms in front of myself only to find it difficult and awkward with the cast. I gave up, turned my back to him and faced Alice directly.

"Yes, there was that but can I borrow your cell phone?" I held my breath for her reply. I was afraid Edward had given strict orders for her to adhere to.

She looked off into the distance to see what I intended to use the cell phone for. After a couple of seconds she looked at me puzzled and asked "You're going to the beach? But I don't see you making a call there."

"Yeah, I know, I know. I need to talk with Jacob. If you can't see me at least you can call me. Please Alice I need to know." I stopped and looked down before finishing. "I just need to know how he's handling this."

"I don't know Bella" She said with reluctance looking over to Jasper for guidance or advice.

I spun around with desperate pleading on my face and I knew my emotions were portraying the same. "Please, tell her I'm not suicidal and that I just need to know. I will keep in touch and come straight to your house when I'm done I promise."

Jasper being the man of few words that he was only slightly smiled, shrugging his shoulders. Looking to Alice he said "It's your phone."

"Well I guess," she began saying as she pulled the phone from her pocket. "I still see you so I can't see that you are going to find him. Sorry Bella but it's what I see."

"I have to try. I just need to know."

"Don't be gone too long you know he'll be waiting." She handed me the phone.

"Thanks Alice you're the best." I greedily took the phone and headed to my truck. Reaching for the door I stopped and went back to Alice. "Tell him to practice his control and remember that I love him and I will be there later. He needs to trust me. It's like a marriage test."

"He is trying Bella, and he is coping, for now. Go and hurry." She said smiling but I saw the tension and uneasiness. Was she contemplating the amount of trouble she was in? Maybe she thought he was on the brink of a great unbalance. An unbalance all brought on by me. If it weren't for me, if I were not in the picture at all how much simpler would life be for those I know. Jacob would just be a sixteen year old werewolf boy not in love with a girl in love with a vampire. The Cullens would have no issues with infringement on the treaties. Even Charlie would go on every day, going to work and eating who knows what out of his poorly stocked refrigerator. I reached to pull the truck door shut and could not help but see Jasper scowling and shaking his head in the negative.

I got in the truck, left the parking lot and headed down the road to First Beach. As I passed Jasper and Alice I noticed they were leaning against the bike talking. Was he checking to see if Alice saw me doing something stupid like cliff diving, again? The intentions I stated out loud were the truth. I suspected they were probably contemplating how long they could stall before returning home to face the music.

I accelerated, pushing the limits on my speedometer, trying to shave time off the trip. The engine whined, but my anxiety would not let me give my truck a reprieve. When I pulled into the makeshift parking area I decided right then to call Edward and try to relieve Alice and Jasper of any blame.

The phone barely rang and his velvety tone was in the receiver "Yes, Bella?"

"I'm fine, don't worry. Don't be mad at them. I just need to be sure Jacob is okay. Billy said he got the, well you know and he took off. He didn't come home last night. I thought maybe if I talked with him. I just need to try and make it better. I know I've tried before but at some point I have to get it right. I'm not making any sense am I?" I stopped talking and waited for his reply. I was sure I sounded like a rambling idiot.

"Bella, I know. I know you. I understand." Just when I thought I might know how he would react he goes and does something like this. In so few words his trust spoke volumes. "Would you like me to try and find him for you?"

"Edward you can't. You can't come here. Alice says he's probably not even here. I'm just going to look around. Please, I'm fine, really." I pleaded.

"If you don't find him, come here and we will figure something out. Bella I trust you and I love you."

"I love you too." I replied and closed the phone.

Tucking the cell into my jacket pocket, I got out and leaned against the front of my truck scanning up and down the shoreline for my tall raven haired sun, nothing. I ventured down to the shore and walked a distance up to the tidal pools. The urchins flourished their brightly colored feelers pulsing back and forth collecting their meal from the currents. I lost myself in them and imagined them waving goodbye. Was this a farewell for me, for my life as a human, for my love for Jacob? Had I released the blade that cut the bond between me and him? Had I murdered his heart, his soul? I had no doubts he was hurting. I could feel his hurt. I had experienced the hurt that ripped you from reality and left you a shell of a person. I would not and could not let this happen to him. I had to be there for him, to walk him through this and let him know I would not desert him as a friend.

I stood up as tall as I could and searched up and down the beach again. In frustration I threw my head back clenching my fists at my sides and screamed his name. Several echoes repeated his name as they reflected off the cliffs. Hanging my head in defeat, I gingerly hobbled my way across the uneven rocks, back up the shore. Ever present was the downed tree that often served as a seat we shared on a few occasions. I ran my hand across the weathered surface. It was smooth and cold. I would have imagined that in its life it had a rough bark with a distinct character for its species. Vibrant leaves of green and sometimes red or gold would hide the branches that would have reached up and out into the world declaring its existence. Now it lay barren, colorless and dead, never changing appearance, a stoic depressed existence. I couldn't let 

Jacob get to this point, where I had once been. I had him to save me and I would not let that be his fate.

I considered, as I sat on the tree, what options I might have. With no idea where Jacob was or how to contact him I deduced I had none. Edward offered to help me and essentially he would be helping him too. I knew that Edward understood the depths of depression I had once visited. Jacob had viciously exposed him to select memories of my past when Edward had abandoned me for my own safety. The times Edward is reminded of these images an intense pain and regret surfaces in his eyes. I know he carries guilt close to his heart and, being who he is, he will never grant himself forgiveness for it.

For several more minutes I stayed there, watching the waves surge up onto the beach only to rhythmically retreat and repeat. Gulls circled above calling in their piercing tones, searching for opportunities to retrieve bounty from the waters below. I was startled when my pocket began to vibrate and a melodious tune of chimes escaped. "Hello?" I queried into the phone.

"Bella did you find Jacob? Are you okay?"

Confused and sad I replied "No I'm fine. Alice was right he's not here. Why? What's wrong?" I could feel panic building within me and knew the assumptions of bad circumstances would start flooding my head.

"Is someone else there with you? Alice can't see you." I immediately stood up and my heads spun around looking for the Wolf. It only took one second to spot her. She was peering at me from a cliff above and up the shore a small distance but she was not in wolf form.

I instantly knew I needed to defuse this situation, to reassure Edward that I was still fine. "Um, oh yeah, Leah is here up above on the cliffs. No big deal she doesn't even see me."

"Bella, I trust you but I don't trust her. Please leave there now." His voice was restrained but urgent.

"Yes, I'm heading to my truck now. I'll be there shortly don't worry." I had begun walking back to my truck and stumbled trying to talk and walk up hill at the same time. I purposely stuck the phone in my pocket, leaving it open and still connected to Edward on the other end. I admit I didn't trust Leah either, but I really wanted to know if she or the pack knew where Jacob was. I was almost sure her temper would over ride her control and she would not let me leave without an exchange.

I cautiously glanced in her direction and was correct in my assumption. She was advancing towards my truck. Her recently acquired stealth suited her. In no time, she was standing with arrogant confidence at the front of my truck on the opposite side, watching me close the distance. Her eyes drilled into me with contempt. The wind was blowing her bobbed ebony locks up into the air waving it around like the snakes writhing on Medusa's head.

I kept my current pace trying to appear calm. I reached my truck and opened the door, pretending to get in and leave. My truck expressed its age as the door hinge groaned mournfully. I knew Edward would be able to here this and know or at least think I had intentions of leaving. I had every intention of keeping the door open between myself and Leah, as a barrier for the confrontation I was expecting.

She opened her mouth as if to say something and then stopped. She shook her head and put her hands on her hips as in reprimand or disgust.

"What? Just say it Leah."

"You won't find him. He took off." She stated with disdain.

"Yeah, I get that. Would you tell me where he went?" I asked not fully expecting her cooperation.

She pressed her lips together and I could see a mental conflict brewing behind her eyes. "If I knew I don't know that I would tell you, but I really don't know. We're not allowed to phase. Sam thinks he needs time to work things out. It's probably for the best." She spat sharply.

With this said there was no reason for me to stay there. I started to get into my truck. "Wait, I need to know. I mean can I ask you? How can you?" She struggled to express herself.

I thought I knew what she was asking. "I didn't mean to hurt him. From the very beginning I told him, for me, it could only be a friendship. I didn't mean for this to happen. I don't want this for him."

"No, that's not what I want to know. I know all that. We get this in Jacob's thoughts." I knew the pack was dialed in but I also knew that Jacob had tried to conceal facts from the pack before with some success. This was probably too big and too volatile for him to keep in check. "How can you love him like that after how bad he hurt you? It took a long time before you came back from that. You forgave him like nothing ever happened and set Jake aside."

I expected her face to be tensed and eyes piercing me with rage, but I was seeing more confusion there. She crossed her arms in front and just barely tipped her head to the side waiting for my reply.

"I love him. I love him with every part of my soul. Lots of people in relationships have problems. Ours was just a big mess up, a miscommunication but it's in the past. We understand each other better. I just can't be without him. Do you understand? I would have thought you of all people might."

Her stance swayed backwards just a bit. Her face held a moment of shock like I had taken a punch at her. Her eyes danced around looking at my face and then found their way down to look at the ground before her. I was not sorry I said the last part. I knew she had been hurt by Sam when he imprinted on Emily and could no longer be the man he once was to her. For this I knew she empathized with Jacob. But now that she was part of the pack and had the ability to feel and know what everyone in the pack felt and knew. She had to understand Sam's guilt and regret. I was to Jacob what Sam was to her.

"This isn't about me. I know this is hard for him. If there was something within my power that I could do to help him I would. I just don't want him doing something stupid." My last remark made Leah snort and roll her eyes with understanding. I was sure she was reminded of some of Jacob's more impulsive and juvenile choices. "Please, Leah, if you find him or learn where he is, please"

Her response to my plea was neither affirmative nor negative. She simply shrugged her shoulders, closed her eyes for a moment and sighed deeply. She turned to walk back up to the cliff, where I first saw her and I knew this was my queue to leave. I wondered if I was appealing to the wrong person. Knowing the pack structure, I probably should have been speaking directly to Sam. None the less, the message would get back to him. More importantly I hoped it would get to Jacob.


	8. Chapter 7 Empathy

It was noted that there would be an additional point of view in Breaking Dawn. Since the pack can function as one entity I chose to have my alternate point of view come from members of the pack. I don't tell who in the pack it is because it will change. I believe it will be easy to tell though. Let me know what you think.**

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**Empathy**

PACK point of view

I came to the cliffs to get away. If I had one more person get on my case, I was going to take off next. Sam had called my house. Unfortunately my mom intercepted the call and jumped to conclusions. "What have you said now?" she insinuated handing me the phone as I came in the door. "You need to call Sam back and fix whatever it is? He already spoke with your brother and there's a pack meeting in the morning."

"I didn't do anything." I defended as I dialed the phone.

This was all about Jacob, not me. He was stewing over a girl he knew from the beginning didn't want the same thing. I'm sure from an adult point of view the sentiment would be that he would get over it, since he was only sixteen. The pack knew it was more than just a first crush. I knew. I felt what he felt. I still felt that way for someone I would never have title to. It was just black and white. You can't have it so just move on. At least this was what I had been telling myself to get through the days. I'm sure I didn't do a good job conveying this to Jacob but I tried to yesterday, before he got down right belligerent. I know the hurt and how it builds up and twists itself into undirected hate. You find yourself lashing out at the next available person with words like daggers. Jacobs cut me deep and I took off striding through the brush on all fours.

It was bad enough trying to work things out for myself in my own head but to be invaded by nine guys, no one man and eight boys, three of which were essentially children, barely teenagers. I figured out early on to concentrate on gossip and petty details to distract myself and them from my personal deliberations. I don't think I really saw myself as vicious just guarded. Trying to be tough and ride out the storm. I thought I was hiding the wound in my heart better than that. Obviously not and Jacob took full advantage. "How do you think the rest of us like looking at Sam through your eyes? It's bad enough that Emily has to deal with _your_ fixation. She doesn't need us guys panting after him, too."

The phone only rang once and picked up. "Sam?" I clarified.

"Yes, Leah, I've told all the others. No one is to phase until I say its okay, just like last night. I'm running patrol again tonight. Things seem to be back to normal for now. I've called a pack meeting at the council hall in the morning." Brief and to the point Sam was always that way.

"Sure fine whatever Jacob needs," was my retort.

"He's our brother, he just needs, well, you know. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

My heart ached for the times when Sam and I would talk endlessly about all sorts of things, plans for the future, places we wanted to visit and even little things like movies and books. He could barely look at me anymore. I knew there was guilt and I knew he had loved me, but the love and perfect unnatural devotion he had for Emily was nothing that I could have ever created within him. It hurt to think about this.

I slowly hung the phone up. I felt my mother's eyes upon me. I turned expecting to see a convicting glare but instead I saw pity. I didn't need this from her. I needed to be strong I was part of the pack. We were the protectors of the tribe. Her pity for me meant I was weak. I wasn't having any of this so I announced "I'm going for a walk on the beach. It's really nice out and I need some air."

"I was just going to start dinner."

"None for me, I'm fine really mom."

"Not too late or I'll have to send Seth after you."

"Yes, okay." I said exiting the house and breaking in to an effortless jog. Since phasing was out I stuck to conventional running. My body had never been leaner, my muscles more toned and my stamina more determined. Running as a human, no more like superhuman, was almost as gratifying as running like a wolf. Right now I would take what I could get. Within a fraction of the time it would take a distance runner, I was where wanted to be. Where I thought I would be alone.

I should have known someone would be here. Did she really think he would be willing to talk to her? Did Jacob ever really listen to what she told him? Maybe if he had really listened to her, he would not have let himself get in so deep? I don't know how many times he has replayed that whole conversation in his head. Was he hearing her but not listening?

Like I care, why am I obsessing about this? Before, I probably wouldn't even have noticed, but now it's all shoved right up in my face, no in my head? When everyone is wolf, I have all those guys in my head. How unfair is this? They're mostly just a bunch of overgrown kids enforcing treaty guidelines. Sure they know the rules of the treaty but they don't know anything about life or love, or how much it can hurt. This is all so confusing and humiliating.

She knew this though. Jacob told her. What business was it of hers? None what so ever, there were seven very good reasons that it was none of her business, the Cullens. If it weren't for her, no it's all because of her! So the Cullens came before her but the treaty would have kept things in check. Apparently, she was the cause that threw those rogue vamps into frenzy. The Cullens did something to stop them from feasting on her, but they sure weren't very thorough.

I saw the memories from the pack having a hay day with the vampire she came across in the meadow. It was kinda cool, in a six on one kind of way, but again if it weren't for her would that leach have even come here? Jacob said that the mate of the first hunter wanted revenge and sent him. If she had just got to her would it have ended there? Would the Cullens have moved away after that? This was wishful thinking. Jacob made it our mission to not only protect the tribe but her too. His orders were as bindings as Sam's. It was Jacob and the one she called her boyfriend that brought us in league to fight against the vampire army from Seattle. There was no way those bloodsuckers would get to her or La Push or Forks for that matter. Between us and them we were a formidable force, I have to admit. I just don't get what is so damn special about her.

There she was moping around, searching for him no doubt. When she saw me, she started climbing back up the trail to her truck. At first I really hadn't noticed her until she turned to look at me and I heard her before I saw her. I really wanted to give her a piece of my mind. I had to hold myself back to keep from running up to her. I managed to control myself and walked very deliberately to her truck. She was so slow and practically a menace to herself climbing back up to where her truck was parked, but I was not going to have any sympathy for her. Every bit of this was her fault.

She was talking to someone on a cell phone. Obviously doing two things at once, like walking and talking, was not her strong suit. She was trying to look collected but I knew I intimidated her. She walked right past me on her side of the truck and then started to get in. I 

was sure she wanted to know where he was. I couldn't believe she was going to leave and not ask. I was going to really give her a piece of my mind but I opened my mouth and didn't know where to begin. All I could do was just shake my head in loathing and disbelief. Then it dawned on me. I bet she was mad at me for my mistake that put him in between me and that stray vampire. I admit I was out of bounds and out of my league, but he defeated it. It was amazing to witness and he recovered quickly like we all do. He wouldn't have gotten injured in the first place if that newborn army wasn't coming to hunt her down. Those injuries didn't hurt him nearly as much as his feelings were hurting him now.

When she saw my expression she stopped and stood there behind the door of her truck. Probably a wise move on her part to keep a divider between us, or at least keep her on the side to make a quick escape. However, in this truck I don't think quick would ever happen. It didn't matter anyway because of Jacob's orders to protect her and keep her from harm. My will was stifled.

"What? Just say it Leah." She practically yelled.

I definitely had the upper hand here. "You won't find him. He took off." I wasn't going to cut her any slack.

"Yeah, I get that. Would you tell me where he went?" I started to see desperation forming on her face. She was nearly panicking. A memory I had once seen from Jacob came to mind of Bella having an attack of some sort like anxiety. That was when she figured out that the red-haired vampire was after her. The fear in her eyes now was not quite as extreme but still present. There was sincere anguish and distress there. I could easily recognize these feelings in her because I had become close relations to these emotions myself. The anger, frustration and helplessness could be excruciating. I don't know that I would ever wish that on my enemy. Looking at her now I didn't see her as an enemy. She was just a girl I knew that was hurting like I often did.

In an impulse I blurted out "If I knew I don't know that I would tell you, but I really don't know. We're not allowed to phase. Sam thinks he needs time to work things out. It's probably for the best." With that said and no closer to knowing what she wanted, she started to get into her truck to leave.

I'm not sure what I was thinking or if I really did think about what I did next. I just needed to ask. "Wait, I need to know. I mean can I ask you? How can you?" I was stumbling over words. Usually I knew exactly what I wanted to say and had no problems voicing it. This time was different.

She looked right at me, right into my eyes and said "I didn't mean to hurt him. From the very beginning I told him, for me, it could only be a friendship. I didn't mean for this to happen. I don't want this for him." She jumped to the wrong conclusion. I knew the whole story between her and Jacob. I wanted to know the other half.

"No, that's not what I want to know. I know all that. We get this in Jacob's thoughts." I responded. A flash from a memory from Sam came to mind. "How can you love him like that after how bad he hurt you? It took a long time before you came back from that. You forgave him like nothing ever happened and set Jake aside." There was no anger in this question. I really just 

wanted to understand. I knew Jacob had tried to comprehend with no success. Maybe if he got it straight from her it would help him later.

"I love him. I love him with every part of my soul. Lots of people in relationships have problems. Ours was just a big mess up, a miscommunication, but it's in the past. We understand each other better. I just can't be without him. Do you understand? I would have thought you of all people, might."

Her last statement was wounding. I was stunned and I knew my face showed it as my jaw dropped open. She definitely had nerve. I looked at her mouth hearing the words that had come out. Then I looked to her eyes but did not see anger or hatred. I saw guilt. A similar guilt like I often saw in Sam's eyes. It was just a fact. A fact, both her and I knew to be true. I was exposed. I averted my gaze to the ground. I had to regain myself. I would not be vulnerable in front of her.

She started speaking again but I wasn't fully listening. I heard her say, "If there was something within my power that I could do to help him I would. I just don't want him doing something stupid." Stupid was right. This thought amused me. If I knew anything about extreme emotion, it is that it could definitely lead to stupid actions. She continued "Please, Leah, if you find him or learn where he is, please"

This I heard loud and clear. She cared, really cared what happened to him. It was obvious that she was more than worried. I really had no answers for her and actually felt bad for her. I didn't know what to say. Now I was the one with pity for another. I just lifted my shoulders and had to sigh. There was nothing I could say or do to make her feel better and I was sorry for that.

I turned and walked back to the cliff where I had been before. I heard her get into the truck and start it up. The rocks under the tire popped as the wheels rolled across them and she drove away. After a minute I thought I heard a piano playing. I figured it was probably just music from the radio in her truck.

If Sam hadn't banned us from phasing, I would have been pursuing tranquility into the farthest reaches of the mountains. As it was, I had committed myself to be here, at the cliffs and didn't want to stir up more concerns with my mom. Time at home was tense, with the pack was tense and even time alone could be tense. I didn't ask for some unseen force to come between Sam and me. I didn't ask for my dad to be taken away from me by a stupid heart attack. I most certainly did not ask to be a werewolf fending off vampires. Worse yet, I was the first and only girl to become a wolf. I was truly alone. I was a freak. Once any guy found out my secret he would turn tail and run. Turn tail, pretty funny Leah, for a girl who has limited humor. Great, now I was holding conversations with myself. Well I knew there were fewer arguments that way.

As I looked out to the horizon, I watched as the water encroached on the shore, the shore holding its own for the time being. The waves were constant and rhythmic. I needed to slip into the quiet monotony of the rushing surge. I needed a place to go and let all these things pass me by. I just needed a break, a break from this existence. I closed my eyes standing at the edge feeling the salty air stream past my face. I earnestly tried to will time to stop, just long enough for me to rest from the battles within and the confrontations on the outside. The peace of the waves, the air, the birds and the rustling grass was relaxing. I took deep breaths trying to breath in the serenity, one breath right after the other. I started to feel light headed. I had to open my eyes before I fell over. This helped but not for long.

Looking down the mile or so shoreline, I had memories of walks with my dad. There was a time when I think I was about eight and he had me on his shoulders and he walked out into the water. I stood up on his shoulders, he would jump up, I would pop up into the air and splash back into the water. We would always laugh so hard, doing this. He was my spring board, my base and I was missing him.

I walked back from the edge to a spot that overlooked the shore and not the water. Judging the distance I contemplated the injury factor if I were to jump. Prior to receiving my wolf-like gift, thoughts like this would have never entered my mind. Lately though, I was eager to push the envelope. The boys in the pack were always testing limits and boundaries and had not been disappointed. The stamina, resilience, scent abilities, healing acceleration, temperate protection and instant understanding of one another through the mind-link had indefinable confines. The only drawbacks were increased appetite and the regular need for sleep to recuperate. I personally had little interest in testing theories the others had about our gifts. Right now though, I was wondering. How much could I do as just myself, as just a person and not a wolf?

I took one large step forward looking down as the spot I intended to land on rushed up towards me. For a split second I thought I had made a mistake and then my confidence kicked in. The multihued rocks grew a bit larger on my approach and did make for a wobbly landing. I cushioned my landing, bending my knees to reduce the impact and falling forward to steady myself on all fours. I was quite impressed with what I had just done. I stood and looked back up the shear face and from this vantage point it looked like it was at least a 30 or 40 foot drop. This was good, a bit of a thrill. I wanted someone to see but no one was around. I looked to the skies and wondered if my Dad had seen. He would have been impressed.

Deciding to take advantage of the solitude I started to walk down the shore. I stopped at a frequent gathering spot. Many a fire had burned on the ash strewn spot before me. There was a large drift log and another smaller log that was most definitely put there for seating. I sat upon the largest and scanned the frothy crests undulating before me. As I put my hand on the tree beneath me I felt and uneven texture beneath. Looking down I saw the grain had been scarred. Someone had carved letters into the wood, J.H. + K.S.

Great, someone in puppy-love had marked this tree representing a relationship that possibly would not last through the summer. I looked at the letters again. The realization hit me hard. This was no first love crush. This was most probably Jared and Kim. Jared was one of only three in the pack who had imprinted. Quill was another but the object of his affections placed him in the role of a doting uncle. Sam was the other and he was the first that had imprinted on my cousin. The day it happened was the day love ended for me. I wasn't given a chance to fight for what was mine. There was no chance to give. Imprinting is a final as death.

I tried to rationalize it as a sacrifice for my tribe. My dad understood and he was there for me. He held me when I cried from hurt and frustration. He reassured me and explained that it had nothing to do with me. He knew all the legends and was seeing them coming true. He was my reference. I get it now but the pain within the heart can blind the mind's eye. To add insult to injury I was drafted into the pack. All my choices were being made for me. What more did I have to sacrifice. What was my tradeoff to be? What was going to be my reward for doing this?

I stood and backed away from the fallen tree and scanned for the initials I was not sure I really wanted to see, S.U and E.Y., but they were not there. Sam would never be one to flaunt his fortunes. Emily was also reserved and sympathetic of my misfortune. She was getting the wedding and the soul-mate. I was just the girl who used to stand in front of the boy asking him to love her but he never would be able to. This was nothing like the movie I was relating this to. It had had a happy ending.

What I was left with was the duty, duty to the tribe, duty to the pack and duty to human kind. Not too much to ask, right. My frustrations were building again. I kicked my shoes off and headed into the surf. The brisk waters were refreshing but not enough to douse my rage. If I submerged myself like a baptism, maybe I could wash away my duty like they wash away people's sins. If only it was that easy to opt out. To bow out, a pack member would first need to learn how to control themselves, their urges and tempers so as not to phase into a wolf. With that accomplished it would be a choice to never phase, remain human and live human. Did I have the potential to control myself that way? Right now I didn't think so.

At some point the Cullens would have to leave. They would have to maintain their secrecy. If that crazy girl went through with her plans, they would surely leave and then maybe things could get back to normal, but what would normal be? Would there be any chance that I might be able to go away to school or just to move. Who knows? I kicked out in the water with aggravation, splashing water up into the air in great streams, getting myself wet.

"Hey, Leah, what are you doing out in the water?" It was Seth sent by mom to summon me home. I hadn't noticed but the day light was fading, it was now dusk or owl light as the tribe called it.


	9. Chapter 8 Muse

**Muse**

BELLA point of view

As I left the beach I heard the most harmonious piano music caressing the air. I looked down at the dash board to the replacement stereo Edward had installed. I could hardly see any of the faint traces of grievous damage to the dash. The face plate was blank. It was off. At once I understood the music was coming from the phone in my pocket. He was playing. Was it for me? He must have set the phone down on top of the piano and now he was serenading me or was this his way of venting. The song was not one I recognized but was absolutely compelling. The even tempo paced the tone of the notes like the relaxing sway of a swing but also very precise in its intention. The complexity of the music was hypnotic, like reading a book you just can't seem to put down.

I was listening so intently that I missed the drive. I went up the road and turned around. I tried to imagine his strong slender fingers caressing the keys but the complexity of movement required for the sounds I was hearing was hard to picture. This music was nothing I had ever heard him play before. The melody was not tense or angry but driven and passionate. As the house came into view I had a sudden burst of panic. What if Edward was playing this way to control his temper, to test his control? The last thing I intended was to upset him today.

I parked my truck on the side of the drive. I slowly pushed my door and with a final thrust caused the latch to catch. I turned to the house, expecting silence, but it did not come. I knew his acute hearing would have heard my truck come up the drive. I noticed Alice sitting on the front steps. She was poised very casually and was painting her nails. Her face was content and smiling like it was most of the time. The music continued to waft from inside.

Now I was confused. I stuck my hands in my jacket pocket and began to walk towards my friend, maid of honor, and future sister-in-law. I found the phone in my pocket and closed it, but the music played on. My stomach gave a quiver and my nerves were on high alert. _Edward I'm sorry I didn't mean to worry you. That's why I left the cell phone on._ No that was pathetic. Now that I thought about it, confronting Leah was stupid. What if Leah had lost control? Did I actually expect him to cross on to tribal territory, breaking the treaty to come and save the damsel in distress? Sometimes I could be absolutely clueless.

It was ironically time to face the music. I was just about to the porch steps when Alice said to me "It is so lovely isn't it?" She had a relaxed smile and was leaning back against the porch pillar blowing on her nails. You would have thought she was simply enjoying a peaceful evening, during the lazy days of summer. I suspected there was more to it than that.

I gingerly sat down on the step below her facing out looking over the yard. I whispered as softly as I could "Okay, let me have it. How mad is he?"

She leaned forward with her lips touching my ears and replied "He's not."

With a shocked puzzled look on my face, I spun around and stared at her. It was like she had never moved. She peered at me with the most angelic smile.

I was dumb founded. All I could manage was mouthing "What?"

"Jasper says he has never felt Edward this overjoyed; no elated was the word he used."

Was I missing something here? "Whoa, Alice what happened? What am I missing?"

"Apparently you professed your love for him to the she wolf."

I had to think back to my conversation with Leah. I had asked her where Jacob was. She didn't know. I told her I was sorry for hurting Jacob. Yeah, okay, then what? Then she asked me how I could still love Edward after he left me last fall. My response to her was a gut reaction and the sincerest truth. I told her I loved him with every part of my being and that I couldn't help it I just do. Remembering this and thinking of how I do love him brought a smile to my face. I guess I had declared my undying love for him. Then I was puzzled again. I have told him many times how I feel about him. He knows I love him. Why would this time be any different? Other than the fact I didn't say it to him but about him.

I turned to copy Alice's posture, leaning against the spindles in the banister. Alice was holding her hand out in front of her admiring her handy work. Her nails adorned with a delicate shade of blush pink. "Don't you just love this color? It will go just perfect with my dress for the wedding." She whispered.

"Yes, it's very nice, perfect." I whispered back. I felt self conscious and looked down at my own boring un-manicured nails. Hoping Alice hadn't noticed me looking I tried to casually put my hands in my pockets.

Alice rested her head back against the column and sighed. Her eyes were closed. Was this her way of putting this music to memory?

I rested my head back and closed my eyes. I tried to concentrate on each note I heard. I was trying to tie it to the one before it and commit it to my memory. This was too much work and not as enjoyable as just listening. He had been playing for some time now, but I didn't want him to stop.

A breeze came up, capturing my hair, draping it across my face. It tickled my nose and eyelids. I opened my eyes to grasp the hair to tuck it securely behind my ear and out of my face when I noticed Alice was gone. I hadn't even heard her leave. The way Alice moved was like a feather on the wind. No one would ever hear her stealth and gracefulness.

The music slowed and grew slightly simpler but was still elegant. I felt a vibration in my pocket. I reached in for the cell phone and saw I had a text message. The composition had regained its momentum and intricacies. I pressed the button to read the message. _Come inside and sit with me?_ I couldn't help but let my smile spread across my face. I stood up and took off my jacket dropping it in the chair right outside the door. As I stepped inside I beheld a truly marvelous vision. His sleek white hands floated across the pearly keys. I looked from his hands to his face which was beaming at me. His amber eyes almost seemed to glow with contentment. His smile was meager but warm and inviting. His appearance rivaled even that of Adonis on his best day. He looked at me and then to the space beside him on the piano bench.

I walked carefully over to sit beside him. The last thing I wanted to do was trip over my own feet and ruin this moment. Everything about this was perfect. As I sat beside him I slid close enough that my leg would touch his but my arms would not be in the way of his playing.

"Today, like so many days since I met you, I was inspired by you; by our love." He whispered towards me. His breath was sweeter than fresh rain. I smiled and sighed, breathing mostly in to fill myself up with his sweetness. I wanted to take every part of him into me. If I could permanently burn an image of him onto the back of my eyelids I would.

His movements were effortless. He played without hesitation without looking like he was considering what came next, it was predestined song. I sat there for what might have been hours or minutes, I really couldn't tell. I watched him glimpse the keys but mostly watching my expressions. I was sure the only expression was a smile of contentment. I was high on his serenade. The tempo began to slow. I watched him, with equal deliberate restraint, lean into me and brush my lips with the lightest kiss. At the moment of our touch I closed my eyes and saw the electric pulse that I felt surge straight to my heart. I had an excited feeling like chimes resonating in a gentle wind. I tensed with passionate energy and longing.

I did not open my eyes but waited for him to kiss me again. I heard a short breathy laugh and he said "Bella, are you okay. You're going to strain your face if you smile any bigger."

"You stopped playing." I noted, faking disappointment. "Are you tired, you've been playing for quite some time?"

Edward looked at me amused and chuckled shaking his head. It was like he couldn't believe that I asked or that I should have known better than to ask that question. "No, I just want to spend time listening to you and being with you."

"And just what do you want to do?" I asked knowing the answer would be presumably an innocent activity. "I already put a roast and veggies in the crock pot for Charlie. So I don't have to rush home."

"First you should eat and I think Esme has covered you there." He took me by the hand and led me to the kitchen. He sat down at the counter and directed me to the fridge. "Check the freezer. It's all for your choosing, since it's not quite on _our _menu" he said sardonically. "There's more in the refrigerator too."

It was quite impressive and healthy. I nuked a Boca burger putting it on a bun with lite mayo and some kind of deli sliced cheese. That and an apple was plenty. The whole time I ate Edward watched me with a furrowed brow.

"It's really good. It's vegetarian you know?" I laughed and looked at him sarcastically. "Seriously there is no meat and it's much healthier."

"I get the joke. I'm sure Esme's intent was strictly from the healthy stand point though." He replied. "So Saturday with Angela and her mother in Olympia…"

"You don't mind do you? Alice hasn't seen any problems with this has she?" I began to panic.

"Bella, relax. I don't mind and you don't need my permission. Alice hasn't seen anything. Just go and enjoy yourself."

"Maybe I should go another time when Alice can go." I had realized that a small part of me had been comforted by a protective presence.

"No, that's not necessary, go and have a good time with Angela. I'm sure she's looking forward to spending time with you. You can find out how she enjoyed the concert." He said reassuringly.

I finished my meager dinner and cleaned up. Leaning across the counter I peered directly into his face and inquired "Well, now what maestro?"

He paused in contemplation, giving a sly smile "Come with me my maiden fair, to share the days last breath. Join hands with me for I take care and pace a harmonious step. To see with 

you the night's new dew and nature's resting sigh. The peace of day's decline is upon my mind but nay the new day will never die." As he finished he held his hand out to me and I took it.

For a moment I was speechless but it was short-live and I couldn't help but ask "Who wrote that?"

He looked at me and almost smiled but instead just raised his right eyebrow and said "Unknown author".

"Really do tell?" I had suspicions and was pretty sure that I could add poet to his growing list of abilities.

He led me back out front to the porch and we sat on the step together.

"I'm really sorry you didn't find out what you wanted today." He said as his eyes searched my face for a reaction.

"I don't know what I expected to find out. Billy says he just needs time. He has a lot of people supporting him." I rationalized.

"I can get Emmett to go with me. We can track him down and bring him back or bring you to him." Yet again I knew he was making an emotional sacrifice for me. Would I ever see him forgo being the martyr and be the jealous, selfish man like any other human man might be?

"No, really, I think Billy's right. Time is the key. Right now I would probably just complicate things more. Sometimes I just jump right in when I should probably step back." I knew the moment I said this and by the look of apprehension on his face that Edward was picturing my experiment with cliff diving.

"I could call Sam and check with him? See what he knows." Another surrendering offer; what had I done so right to deserve him?

"I can do it. It's my problem." I should have never gone to the beach, but I did and this was the repercussion.

"No, actually it's ours." he said sternly.

"How so, I don't see it?" I was beginning to get defensive. I could feel my jaw getting tense.

He sensed my irritation and calmly began "If I hadn't left you, you wouldn't have been forced to…"

"No, I wasn't forced." I cut him off.

"Not intentionally, but Charlie made it clear you needed to be with people. You needed your own support system and you found it in Jacob, all be it unintentionally." He finished with an understanding smile.

"I don't know," I began with a sigh "you might see it that way but I had a huge hand in this. I just didn't realize or maybe I didn't want to see." I wasn't expressing myself very well and my frustration was settling in the back of my head and neck. I reached up with my left had to rub my neck and I knew how it was. "I was just biding my time between my moments of clarity with you in my head. I was selfish and didn't consider the results. All I wanted was to be with you any way I could. I should have seen what I was doing and figured out a way to get what I wanted on my own, without dragging him down." I was drowning in my own pity. I was so pathetic or at least emotionally bipolar. One minute I'm in ecstasy being with Edward and the next moment I'm miserable with the pain I caused Jacob. What a nut case.

Edward gently pushed me from behind until I bounced down to the step below where I was sitting. He moved to sit behind me and with the touch of a healer he began to massage my neck and shoulders. "Bella how many boyfriends did you have before me?"

Okay he knew the answer to this one but I humored him "None."

"Right and I wouldn't say that our relationship is exactly typical, right?"

"I guess, right." And his point was, I had no idea.

"So wouldn't you agree that you were limited on fact and experience the situation? What I'm saying is, you did the best with what you had to work with. In my opinion you chose well because his was able to keep you safe. In all fairness I admit that."

He bent down and kissed the top of my head. Ever forgiving at least with me, that was his way. I grinned and leaned my head back to see his face as I said "Don't put me too high up on that pedestal I might fall off and break my other arm." Sarcasm was always useful to lighten conversation.

"If I could just save you from yourself." he retorted back.

"You can't be with me 24, seven."

"Once we are married, I can."

"And shortly thereafter I won't be so breakable." My trump card caused a lull in the conversation. He didn't stop massaging my tension away but there was a definite stillness behind me. "Sorry." I tried to smooth over the silence.

"No, it's just that I need to work out some of the details." He moved back down beside me and held both of my hands together before his face. His eyes were closed and I could tell he was gathering his thoughts. He opened his eyes and the tawny pools were pleading for understanding. "I have witnessed three people changed in my lifetime. It is not a pleasant sight. Carlisle and I have been discussing ways to keep you from the pain, maybe a drug induced coma is the option. I just don't want this to be traumatic for you. It would hurt me as much as you." I knew he was speaking the truth.

With my left had I cupped his face and gently kissed his lips. "I know. I will be fine because I have you and will always have you. Can we walk, my foot is falling asleep." I said taking his arm as I stood. I walked beside him holding his arm. It was like in those period movies with the gentleman and the lady walking through the garden. She would admiringly rest her head upon his shoulder. No words would pass between them but a central connection would exist that would cause them to look at one another often and smile. I had this right now. I could have it for many decades to come. This thought warmed me from inside.

We walked the perimeter of the house and across the backyard to a little path. The wildflowers were competing for the sun and for which one could show off the most glorious bloom. The fragrances were fresh and inviting. An occasional fly would buzz through the stems maneuvering with accuracy. It made me think of Edward running through the woods and I laughed a little.

Farther down the path and under more of the tree canopies, I saw in front me a small clearing with a bench and a wooden chair. My feet froze when I instantly realized where we were. The dream flooded into my mind. I hadn't thought about it all day and here it was. My heart was pounding, trying to escape my chest. I felt a cold spread within me and panic with it.

"Bella are you okay?" Edward asked with concern.

"Can we go back? This place makes my hand hurt."

"Your hand is hurting you. Let me look at it."

"No, it's ghost pain, just the memory of it happening." I said stating only partial truth.

Edward, always suspicious of my internal considerations, searched my face for truth. I was forever his enigma. Right now I could almost see his frustration in his penetrating eyes.

"Sure we can go back to the house if you want." He said calmly but with reservation.

I wrapped my arm tighter around his and leaned into him, resting my head against his shoulder. "Let's just go and sit and unwind you know like just regular teenagers."

He laughed. "Like regular teenagers, okay." My distraction worked.

I continued to hold on to him tightly and smiled at him endearingly. This was easy because it came naturally. We went upstairs and I plopped myself down on the sofa and gazed at the vast wall of CDs.

Turning to me with a remote in his hands he said "Any requests?"

"Oh, I don't know, something relaxing but not too dead, I mean mellow." I knew that statement came out wrong. I felt the warmth escalate on my face and it was a guarantee that I was a pinker shade of pale. These things just made him laugh and it came from deep within. It was infectious and I couldn't help but laugh with him. He pressed a couple buttons on the remote and with a few clicks from within the intimidating stereo components; a sultry female voice began to sing. It was perfect.

I was tucked in the corner of the couch facing the center with my feet stretched and crossed. Edward sat at the other end and faced me. He rested his head on his hand propped up by his elbow. We listened to several songs and it was exactly what I had requested, relaxing. Then a very sultry song began where the chorus was '_all I want is somebody to love me to love me like I do'. _I couldn't resist nodding my head to the beat. I had to ask "Who is she? She is very impressive."

"Melody Gardot, she released this independently. I found it by accident and I really enjoyed it. This song is Quiet Fire. She has many talents, piano, guitar, vocals and writes her own music. She fine tuned her craft while recovering in a hospital after being hit by a car."

"A fellow artiste, but with added determination," I could easily hear why he admired her. His modesty only allowed him a smile. He reached behind the couch, grabbed a book and began reading. I think it was Thoreau but my eyes were quite heavy. I remember seeing him glance up at me over the book.


	10. Chapter 9 Prisoners

**Prisoners**

Pack

Mornings were the bane of my existence. There were always at least ten or twenty more minutes of precious sleep that needed to be experienced and enjoyed. Ever since I changed I seemed to sleep harder and longer when I was allowed. It was never a joy to wake up; however, today was particularly irritating. Sam had called a pack meeting at 9:00.

I looked over at my alarm clock that I had set to go off at 8:45 but it read 8:30. I think only one other time did I ever wake up before my alarm went off and that was like a Christmas morning when I was ten. Today was different though I wasn't expecting presents. Also today when I woke up it was like turning a switch, one minute I was sleeping and, boom, just like that my eyes are open and I'm awake.

I bet Sam sent me some kind of subliminal message when I talked with him last night on the phone about today's meeting. "This really bites." I said out loud. I was out of school for the summer. We had finished off the rogue vamps and we didn't have to do anywhere near the amount of border checks we were doing before. I felt I earned some time off. Sure I hadn't been a wolf as long as some of the others but I was young and a growing boy in need of my REM time.

What could Sam possibly have to say that he couldn't just say over the phone? I guess I wouldn't find out unless I went to the meeting; like I had a choice not to go.

"Hey twerp it's about time you got up. Any longer and you wouldn't have time to eat anything." Leah was a pest for a sister and lately I don't think she was scoring many points being a girl either.

"Yeah, whatever," no response was the best response when dealing with her. If you gave a real thought provoked response it would most surely turn into an argument with her.

"Can't you run a comb through your hair, if you're going to be seen with me?"

"I could." was my reply as I sat down at the table and my mom slid a plate of eggs potatoes, ham, bacon and toast in front of me. I immediately dug into the feast.

"Are you going to comb it?" she asked with contempt.

"Nowf." I answered with my mouth stuffed full.

My sister stood up and walked to the door. As she opened it she said on her exit "Fine, see you there. I'm not waiting."

I looked at mom and just shrugged my shoulders. Leah was not a person you should let have their way very often. If you give her an inch she would take a mile or ten or twelve. I looked at the clock and it was ten till nine. I scraped up the last remnants of my breakfast and dashed out the door hearing my fork clatter to the plate.

The morning air was brisk but perfect. It smelled of the woods mixed with a hint of the brine ocean spray. There were sprinklings of sweet smells from flowers, musty smells of forest decay, smells of dirt and rock and just a bit of man-made smells added in. The balance was something I never noticed till my senses intensified with the change. It was refreshingly, the smell of home.

I started to run to the meeting hall. I could run incredibly fast now in my human form. But that was nothing compared to what I was capable of as a wolf, but Sam put a nix on that. I hope he was going to explain why he did that, but he probably wouldn't. He was the alpha and I 

had no rank or place to question him. I was sure he had a good reason anyway. Once we're allowed to phase again it will probably come out.

As I made the turn in the road I could see the hall in the distance. I saw that five of the pack was already there. It was easy to pick out Leah. She was standing farthest from Sam and on the outer edge of where everyone else was gathered. She seemed to be messing with her finger nails and perfectly content or maybe intent on doing it.

I was almost within a couple of blocks of the hall when I felt and then saw someone run by me. Then I heard the laughing. Quill, your a show off. If I had sensed him coming I know I could have given him a run for his money. Well, maybe just a good race since I was a little short in the money department. "Yeah, well, that's the only way you can win Atera, sneaking up on a guy."

"A good sentry always keeps his guard up." Quill yelled back to me as he started to slow nearing the others. Embry was watching us and was starting to laugh at what he saw.

"Well I'm not on duty so cut me some slack."

"Sure, sure kid." he said patronizingly.

"Alright, that's enough. I don't want this to take long. Everyone is here so have a seat. I just need to say a few things."

"What about Collin and Brady?" I asked.

"Yes, well, they don't need to be concerned with what I have to say now. I have told them I don't want them phasing indefinitely. There so young and I don't see a need to have them participating in all the pack activities right now. The boys and their families still need time to adjust to their unusual situation. To this comment Leah gave a disgruntled snort. Sam quickly glanced at her and then looked back at the rest of us. For a moment, as he was turning his head, I thought I saw pain in his eyes, like he was sorry or guilty of something. I'm sure, Leah wanted him to comment on her special situation of being the first girl wolf, but she was even older than Quill, Embry or Jacob. This was about Collin and Brady's age, so what if Leah was the first girl wolf.

"We're not under any real threat right now. I patrolled last night and found nothing out of the ordinary. I'm sure you all know Jacob needed some time to get away and organize his thoughts. This was the reason I asked you all not to phase, to give him some privacy." It seemed that Quill and Embry were in on more of the situation than the rest of us. They looked down sympathetically, nodding their heads with empathy.

"Is he okay, what set him off?" I asked, glaring over at my sister. My mother wondered if Leah had said something to him since she was with him on the cliffs yesterday.

"It wasn't me. I didn't do anything. She did something and then came looking for him later." Leah was always on the defensive and this time wasn't any different. Her eyes were smug and glaring. She had her feet firmly planted and her arms crossed in front of herself. I couldn't think of why anybody would seek her out to find Jacob, even Bella. Sam also looked a little surprised by this news.

"Where did you meet her? What did she want?" Sam queried.

"I was down at the cliffs hoping for some peace and quiet of my own. She was there looking for him. I just told her I didn't know where he was." Her eyes shifted down when she finished and her stance deflated a bit.

"No, Seth, this was not anything that Leah did. It was something else entirely, but that's not the point. I spoke with him earlier this morning."

Before Sam could continue, Embry blurted out, "Is he okay? Where is he? Shouldn't we go get him and bring him back?"

"NO." Sam said sternly and then calmly continued "He's fine. He just needs to blow off some steam. He's up in the Coast Mountain range."

"Really, cool. That's like almost a two days drive from here." Quill said obviously amazed at the potential of werewolf speed.

"I'm hoping he'll be back in a couple of days. I told him that I couldn't restrict the pack from phasing as it would not be in the best interest of the tribe and he understood. So tonight Jared and I will patrol. Then I'll let you know what the new schedule will be, any questions?" Sam glanced right at Leah expecting one from her.

"What if he doesn't want to come back? What if he wants to leave the pack and the tribe for that matter, then what?" she asked.

"He didn't say that and I didn't get the feeling that he wanted that." Sam explained.

"Well what if one of us did?" Everyone turned and looked at her with shock. I knew she was unhappy, but leave. Where would she go? She would still be a danger to other people who didn't know about our circumstances.

"You mean you?" said Sam accusingly.

"Maybe, I don't know." Leah looked like a cornered rabbit. "I'm just saying that we were all roped into this without a choice. Some of us had plans and now none of that seems to matter at all. What kind of life are we supposed to have?"

"This should be viewed as an honor. We are the protectors of the tribe. Our abilities are gifts. Granted they come with an extreme amount of caution and responsibility, but gifts, none the less. It is our duty to the tribe. However, like in the stories the choice is there. You can chose not to utilize the gifts and remain strictly human. You just have to make that choice and learn to control the phase. You know that, as well as I do."

"Easier said than done." Leah commented.

There was total silence for a couple of minutes. Sam was not going to play into her need for an argument. He was defusing the situation with silence. I took the initiative and interjected "Okay, alright, so we don't know when Jake's coming back and for now we have reduced patrols. What is up with the Cullens?"

"Well the treaty is intact as it was written." Sam noted.

"So far," said Leah.

"They know the terms of the agreement. Right now the council is more concerned with the others that have been attracted to the area."

Paul asked "I thought it was just that one coven and now that they're all disposed of what's to worry about? The Cullens took out the first one that started it all and then we took out the second one that was in the meadow."

"Yeah, and we all took out that female and all her evil spawn. Their all gone and we should be getting back to normal." added Quill.

"Are you sure that's what started it all or was it her?" Leah said with obvious disdain.

"Bella? She's just a girl. What would she have to draw them here? I don't see it. You just don't like her Leah."

"Everything was fine before she got here. The treaty with them was fine. It was just them. Just like before when they lived here. Think about it. Bella found out their secret and then she found out ours. That shouldn't be. What is it about her? There is something to her and I just don't know what it is." Leah ranted.

"Leah, I think your wrong and the past is the past. I'm more concerned about days to come and so is the tribal council. So for now, no one phases unless they're on patrol and it is necessary. The treaty still stands and we abide by it." Sam paused and looked around the circle at every face in attendance. "The council meets tomorrow night if any of you want to attend; any questions?" Sam finished and waited for any more discussion. His gaze ended on Leah. She shook her head, rolling her eyes up to the sky and pursing her lips, restraining herself. I'm sure that last part was really hard for her.

With the meeting over I decided to go over to the store and spend the dollar that was burning a hole in my pocket. The other guys took off too. They said something about going to help someone unload some lumber. I didn't pay any attention to what Leah did and just assumed she was walking back home.

When I came back by the council hall and headed back up the road in the direction of my house. I heard voices coming from around the bend. It was two people. They were having a very intense conversation.

"I understand where you're coming from. It's hard to adjust to but it gets better. The council will figure out what to do until they decide to leave again. Then life for the tribe will get back to normal." I had no doubt that it was Sam speaking.

Then I heard my sister reply "I don't think you can understand. I could care less about when the Cullens leave. You're not the one that got dumped because someone found his soul-mate, and just where do you think that leaves me? What guy do you think is going to want to date me? The one freak, the only female in the pack I think most guys are going to be a little intimidated by that. You know as well as I do that this isn't something you can hide from people either. So you see us as protectors of the tribe but aren't we also prisoners to the reservation. We are not safe to go anywhere else, right? I've just had enough of having all these things thrown at me one after another." Her voice broke on the end of her last sentence. I heard a sniff and I could picture Leah with tears in her eyes but rage on her face. She hated to appear soft in front of anyone. She only used to let my dad see her cry. I knew she would be doing all she could to keep herself together.

"I've told you this before, you know I'm sorry. I had no control over that. Maybe," Sam began but Leah cut him off.

"I don't want to imprint. I would much rather have the choice made by me, unless my alpha has something to say about that too." She was definitely lashing out with her pain.

"Leah, just calm down, I don't like seeing you like this. I know these last couple of months have been bad for you and Seth, but especially for you. You carry your feelings too deep in your heart and you need to release them. I see what it's doing to you, how it's hardening you. It hurts me to see you like this." Sam was trying to get through to her.

"Why do you care? You're supposed to be for Emily. She needs you."

"So does the tribe and the pack and you are part of both of those."

"Maybe so, but you can't, no you don't see me that way, it's not the same anymore. What I want and what I'm allowed to have seem worlds apart and I don't know if that's enough. These life changing sacrifices are huge and what are we getting back in return, at least those of us without a soul mate. Look at what Jacob is going through. What is it going to be like for Seth? Is this our future? Running patrols, protecting the tribe and never leaving the reservation?"

"Leah, you have the ultimate choice. You can choose not to ever phase again. No one would look down on you for that choice."

"Yeah, well why couldn't we have had the choice up front before it all got so weird and complicated? Never mind, no need to answer because there isn't one." She sighed loudly and I heard her shoes grinding in the gravel and her steps fading away quickly down the road at a running pace.

I wasn't sure if Sam would follow her to talk to her some more or if he would come back down the road to where I was standing. I didn't want to risk it and cut through the woods heading in a more direct line to my house.


	11. Chapter 10 Assumptions and Lies

Assumptions and Lies

Work on Friday was okay. I was careful to park my truck all the way behind the store rather than on the side where most employees usually parked. I really didn't want anyone seeking me out to inquire about my impending nuptials. I was being a real coward and about what, an engagement. I hang out with werewolves. I am going to marry a vampire and I've had several death threats against me very close to being carried out. Yet here I was, hiding from people who should want to congratulate me on my special occasion. I was beginning to see many advantages to eloping.

I was working the ten to five shift. Kevin said Mr. Newton had gone to Olympia to drop some things off at his accountants, but that I was to keep working on the inventory in the back. I rushed to the back relieved I would be out of the public eye. There was a note from Mike's dad. He said I was doing a great job and that he was happy that I would have it done before my last day. I glanced around at the shelves and noticed that all the boxes from the top shelves had been removed and placed on the floor. I looked back at the note and continued reading. It said I was not to lift any boxes that I should leave them on the floor and he would put them back up later when he got back. That would sure speed things up a bit.

Before I knew it the morning was gone and I was two hours into the afternoon. I heard Mike's voice coming from the front. He was conversing with Kevin about his hiking adventure with his Dad the day before. I knew eventually Mike would acknowledge my presence and I was right.

"Hey, Bella you back here?"

For a brief second I thought maybe if I didn't answer he would think I was not, but that would be too rude. "Yes, Mike. I'm back here." As I finished my statement I saw him round the shelves. I looked up and gave a weak smile. "How was yesterday with your Dad?" This I knew would be a safe topic.

"Surprisingly I had a really good time and I'm glad I went." He nodded with affirmation while he said this. "So how was your day yesterday?"

This question caught me off guard. Was he truly just trying to make conversation or was there a point to this line of questioning. I decided to play it coy. "Oh it was slow to medium around here. Kevin handled most the customers and I was able to finish all the counts for the items on the showroom floor; all in all a pretty productive day."

"Oh, that's good." He said as he forced a smile. He looked like this wasn't the answer he was expecting to here.

"Why, what do you think would happen around here?" I pushed to get him to his point.

"When Dad and I got home last night, well you know your invitation; you know to your wedding, well let's say you're becoming quite the topic of discussion. I really need to apologize up front for my mom."

"Why, hasn't she ever received a wedding invitation before?" I was getting irritated but tried to keep my cool. It was obvious that Mike was feeling really guilty about something and I need to give him a chance to get it off his chest or better yet fill me in so I could prepare for the onslaught.

"Yeah, sure of course, it's just that outside of school no one really knew how serious you and Edward were. You guys didn't really hang out with any of us outside of school or school functions. The Cullen's always were kind of mysterious and separate. I was never really sure what you saw in him. Remember that time, that first time you sat with him at lunch our junior year. That was the first time anyone, other than his brothers and sisters, ever sat with him. It kind of made you part of the mystery. Then a couple of weeks ago you had your graduation party at their house, and I have to admit that party was awesome. It will go down in history in this town. Everyone wanted to go and see what all the secrecy was about."

"Well what did everyone come up with?"

"Nothing, really, it was just a real cool party. But see the parents weren't there. They don't know, well that there really isn't anything to know. I'm not making sense am I?" I could tell that Mike was really trying hard to make his point and not hurt my feelings. I was just glad, no relieved, that he and all the other kids from my school felt that there was 'nothing to know' about the 'mysterious' Cullens.

"Okay, so what's the problem? Just say it Mike. I can take it." I tried to reassure him with my eyes, prodding him to spill the beans.

"Well my mom was on the phone with Jessica's mom, and she's a real gossip, I guess. Well they were coming up with all the possible crackpot reasons for two kids to get married right out of high school. She started pumping me for information. I kind of blew up at her. I told her that she should know better. You see she caught a lot of flak for marrying my Dad. She was right out of high school. He was like eight years older than her. I told her that you and Edward weren't like what they were assuming. I told her that if she didn't call Jessica's mom back and stop this gossip chain that I would not speak to her ever again. I don't think I have ever been so flippin' mad at her. She knew it too. I told her you were getting married because you guys just want to be together and that was it."

"Thanks Mike, I'm sorry for causing trouble between you and…"

"No, Bella. It's not like that. She should know better, she knows you. You're like one of the most responsible kids I know. Sometimes I think you act like you should be older, like you have so much life experience under your belt. Maybe that's why you never seemed as interested in me as I was in you?" Mike asked. At least I thought it was a question almost posed as a statement. Then he continued blurting out before I could respond. "You don't have to answer that. It really is obvious to me at least, how much you care about him and I see how similar you two are, really I do. I just want you to know that I am happy for you and hope you guys are happy for the long haul." He smiled "Well I better get back up front and do my job before my Dad hears I'm slacking."

He started to turn to walk back to the front and I said "Mike, wait." He stopped and looked my way still with a smile on his face. He was always so optimistic or maybe just deluded. "I've always considered you one of my best friends, and your loyalty just proves I was right. What you did for me and for Edward means a lot. Thank you."

"Sure, that's what friends are for." He said this with such satisfaction that I felt a weight lifted from inside. I could see that my friendship with Mike was now solid and just that, a friendship.

When my term at Newton's Outfitters was over I made a hasty escape behind the building and to my truck. As I drove through town I concentrated earnestly on the road before me and tried desperately to ignore any passerby that I encountered. I was hoping to hit the light at the right time so I wouldn't have to stop, but that was not my luck. As I sat there waiting my turn I saw the Stanley vehicle enter the intersection. My heart began to race and I wasn't quite sure if it was panic or rage. Then I noticed the driver waving at me as he passed by. It was Mr. Stanley. I forced a smile and did a two finger wave keeping my hand securely gripped on the steering wheel. What did it really matter what other people thought. What mattered was between Edward and me. No other 

human was really privy to the big picture. The wedding was just the tip of the iceberg in my opinion. I decided to set the concerns of others aside for now and just continue my day as I always would and look forward to a day of shopping tomorrow. It would be okay, I wasn't sure, but I gotten the impression that Angela's mom was pretty open minded and not really a person who participated in hearsay.

Charlie was on the phone when I got home. I waved to him then went into the kitchen to start hamburger patties frying in a pan and put fries on a cookie sheet to bake in the oven. I overheard him talking about fishing conditions and then about some sport statistics he heard on a TV show. I wasn't paying real close attention until I heard him mention Jacob.

"So how's Jacob getting around?" I knew when he said this that the person on the other end was Billy, Jacob's Dad. "That's really nice, she invited him up to recuperate there. The girls don't get back much do they?" I could tell I would have to be cautious because I wasn't sure of what story Billy was concocting on the other end of the receiver. "Yeah well a couple of weeks and a change of scenery could do him some good. Well if you need anything Billy just give me a call otherwise I will see you Sunday morning for fishing services." He hung up the phone chuckling at his own joke.

Charlie came into the room sniffing the air and smiling. "Hey, Bells how was work? Injury free I hope."

"Very funny Dad, Mr. Newton childproofed my job today. He put all the boxes on the floor for me with instructions of no lifting." I said making air quotes with my fingers.

"That was a good plan. So why didn't you tell me Jacob went to spend a couple of weeks with Rachel up at Washington State?"

"Oh, I just assumed Billy had already told you, sorry." I gave a feeble smile knowing full well that Jacob was not with Rachel. That because of me he was out wolfing it, brooding and stewing over the pain that I had caused.

"So tomorrow you're going with Angela and her mom?" I was thankful to Charlie for the change in topic.

"Yes, shopping in Olympia. It should be a lot of fun." I really wasn't in a chatty mood. I tried to look occupied fixing a plate for Charlie and then one for myself. I sat at my place at the table and tried to keep my mouth occupied with food so that he wouldn't keep trying to make idle conversation. The phone rang and it was Angela confirming that I still wanted to go with them. I assured her that I was really stoked about going. The plan was that they would pick me up around 8 a.m. because it takes around 3 hours to get there. We could shop for about 4 or 5 hours and then be back home about 6 or 7. All in all, I figure it couldn't be too bad because there would be no one from Forks there to ogle at me with their preconceived ideas.

The early wakeup call was a good excuse to retire to my room, under the pretense of getting plenty of sleep for a full day of shopping. At 7 o'clock I was essentially ready for bed and it was still light outside. I was really tired though not having had a good restful night's sleep in I don't know how long. The odds for tonight were not looking good for that. I laid face down on my bed and listened to the leaves on the tree outside my window, rustle and swish in the breeze. I tried closing my eyes and picturing a nighttime beach with the moon in full glory perched high in the sky reflecting the white light like a beckoning road upon the glistening ocean water. I tried to imagine the feeling of my feet on the wet sand and the tide washing up over them causing the tiny granules to fill in between my toes. This was good I told myself I just needed to relax. I continued to 

visualize my feet being caressed by the waters and tried to imagine the waters pulling my tensions out through my feet. Then I looked up the moonlit beached and saw a single set of footprints heading away from me. The stride between steps was enormous and the indention of each step was deep. This was made by someone definitely running away. I looked off in the distance at a hill above the tree line and he was there. His reddish coat was not vibrant and his posture defeated. He mournfully bayed at the moon and all my guilt and despair rushed back to me.

My alarm went off at 6:30 and I slammed my hand down to discontinue the beeping din. I hadn't meant to fall asleep. I always waited for Edward to stay with me when he was not away hunting. I rose up on my elbows and hastily searched my room for him. I turned my head to the rocker he often sat in and my hair fell into my face blocking my view.

"Good morning, how are you feeling?" it was his velvet croon. The sound I hoped to hear every morning for the rest of my life.

I sighed in relief and felt the panic recede from my chest. "Fine, I'm sorry I fell asleep. I didn't think I was that tired when I laid down last night, but I guess I was wrong." It was blatantly obvious I was wrong. I awoke lying in the exact same position I remembered being in the previous night when I was experimenting with my relaxation exercise. I sat up on the side of my bed facing him.

He was sitting in the chair with his elbows on the arms and his hands folded together before his face with two fingers forming a point, like the steeple I remembered from a childhood rhyme. I saw a slight smile grow on his face and his eyes exuded calmness and I was sure happiness. He rose and glided forward to sit beside me. "Bella, you should never apologize for what comes naturally. You needed some sleep and you got some. I must admit though, when I came to you last night and saw you sleeping so sound, I almost thought you had hit yourself in the head and knocked yourself out. Upon further inspection I realized your body's demands had just conquered your futile resistance. I've never seen you sleep so still. Not quiet though, you still mumbled off and on." His last recollection made him chuckle.

"Great." was the only reply I had. I stood up gathering my things to go to the bathroom and get ready for my day.

"And what time are you leaving with Angela?" he asked.

"They are picking me up at 8 and we should be back around 6 or 7 this evening. Why is something wrong?" It had become habit with me to pessimistically suspect ulterior motives to Edward's line of questioning anytime we were going to be apart and especially if there was a distance involved.

"No, of course not, I will just be missing you." He smiled and leaned back onto my bed making himself comfortable. His reply seemed sincere but I had learned that Edward was a master of manipulation of the spoken word. Plus the way he sometimes dazzled me would often distract my attention and I was sure I was missing some of the finer nuances of lie detection. Yet, I could never resist those special things he said to me that warmed my heart to its core and automatically made me smile.

After freshening up and dressing, I came back into my room to find him, like always, in the same position I had left him in. He was turning a small silver object around and around in the palm of his hand. Once he saw my focus land on it he rose from my bed extending his hand to me with its offering. "This is for you. Now you won't have to borrow Alice's."

"Thank you but it's not necessary, that was just a onetime thing."

"Bella, for me, you'll only be just a phone call away if I need you." He took my hand and lightly placed the phone in it closing my fingers around it.

"You need me, for what?" I was the one who needed him. There would be no happiness, no unsurpassable love without him. I could exist without him but it would not be living. I knew what it was to be with him and I was never going to give that up.

"I always need you. You complete me." He said stepping right up before me and caressing the side of my face with back of his hand. Reflexively I tilted my head into his touch and closed my eyes. I felt his fingers from his other hand trace the edge of my lips. I couldn't see it but I could sense him lean in because the smell of his breath wove its way into my head and I was filling up with his aroma. My hands found his waist and moved around to his back. His lips, solid and sure, met mine and I couldn't help but let a high pitched sighed sneak out. I raised myself up on to my toes as he straightened up to break the kiss. Someday I would get the kiss that would last as long as I wanted it to.

"I should go. Have fun and I will see you later." He said kissing me on the forehead before he leapt from my bedroom window.

Angela and her Mom showed up right at 8 as planned. I had plenty of time to grab a bite to eat and find the suggested summer reading list for college bound students Mr. Berty had given all the seniors before finals. I was sure there would be some books on the list that I would have interest in reading. I double checked my purse before exiting the house. I had my wallet, the cell phone, the book list and my mace. The later I learned was better to have on hand than to be sorry later.

I jumped into the back seat of the minivan with Angela and told Mrs. Webber how grateful I was for letting me tag along on their day of shopping. "Any time dear." was her reply and then she gave a pointed glance to Angela. Angela just looked back at her almost like she was panicked. "Oh for heaven's sake Angela, Bella I'm sorry, Angela seems to think it's rude for me to ask, I'm sure it's probably very exciting for you."

Okay I was sure this had something to do with my engagement but I was still a little confused. So I replied as best I could without sounding like a total idiot "Yes, it is exciting."

"Mom says it's expected for friends to ask to see the ring." Angela was embarrassed, but if that was all this was about, no problem. I quickly held my left hand out between the seats. They both ogled at the ring on my finger.

"Well that boy has some taste." was Mrs. Weber's response.

"It was his mother's." I said this with pride. I felt a realization of family swelling within me. I may never have had the chance to meet Elizabeth but I knew from looking at this ring that the beauty of it held a special place in her heart just as her son had. Now I had the ring. It truly is beautiful and her son holds that same spot in my heart.

"Oh wow, that's really sweet and special. You guys are going to be so happy."

"Thank you Angela." I smiled at my friend, my best human girlfriend. She was the one that understood me from the start. Maybe because in some ways we had a lot in common, neither one of us liked to be the center of attention. We are also very loyal to our friends.

The nearly three hour drive went relatively quickly. Mrs. Weber listened to an audio book through an ear piece and Angela and I watched a movie on a portable DVD player. Of course there 

was conversation about college and I had to make up answers for some of the questions. The discussion about the wedding was short when I explained it was going to be a very small affair and that I had let Alice be my wedding planner. Angela knew how much Alice liked to plan events. "You're having a small affair planned by Alice?" the sarcasm was very evident in her statement.

"I hold the veto. I am the bride." I said laughing but I had a minor jolt at the fact that I just referred to myself as the bride. It had taken me quite some time to get used to the word fiancée and now I would have to quickly get used to bride and groom.

When we arrived in Olympia Mrs. Weber knew right where to go. We went to a few department stores making purchases of clothing and Angela got a new pair of tennis shoes for all the walking she would be doing on campus.

For a late lunch we picked up sandwiches from Charley's Grilled Sub and took them to a local park to enjoy our lunch in the sun. Angela was explaining to her mom how easy it could be to order her laptop for school online rather than using valuable shopping time today. As they talked I watched the people stroll by on the sidewalks in the park. It was fun to people watch, as long as none of them were watching me. I had a sudden sense of just that. The hair on the back of my neck was standing on end. I tried to inconspicuously glance around but I saw nothing out of the ordinary. Turning back to face Angela I noticed off in the distance, over her shoulder, a couple of robed figures walking down the shaded part of the street towards a produce market. I craned my neck to get a better look.

"What are you looking at Bella?" Angela asked, turning around in her seat to get a better look in that direction.

"Do you see those guys in the robes walking over there? Who wears robes?" I said trying to disguise my alarm and increasing anxiety. In my mind I was picturing an ominous pair from my past, Felix and Demetri of the Volturi.

"Those are the monks from Saint Martin's Abbey. They come here from Lacey. There is a University there and the grounds are absolutely beautiful." Mrs. Weber explained nonchalantly.

I took a second look and rationalized that these men were not as daunting as the ones from my memories. These men were of modest size and carried a modest posture. Then I saw one of them lower his hood, something a vampire would never do in the presence of such a bright sunny day. I sighed with relief and then felt internal embarrassment that I had let my paranoia get the best of me. Still I couldn't help myself from continually scanning my surroundings

After lunch we went to a shopping center that had both a department store and major retail bookstore. I persuaded Angela and her mom to go ahead without me to the department store. Mrs. Weber said they wouldn't be long and would be to the bookstore soon. I assured her I would be fine and that I usually end up spending more time than I expected to among literary works. She gave me a chuckle of understanding and we parted ways. What I really needed was some alone time to get my head back in the right place.

When I walked through the doors I was inundated by a smell that, until that moment, I hadn't realized how much I missed new books. Rows and rows of them that you could lose yourself in or maybe hide in. No, I told myself, you're being ridiculous. What you saw were the monks from Saint Martin's, not the Volturi. Alice would know if Aro were planning something; unless, like a time before, she was watching too many different subjects. She had once complained to Edward that when she tried to do too much that things could get missed or misinterpreted.

I walked back to a section categorized as classic novels and tried to look engrossed. I grabbed a random book, opening it and pretended to peruse its contents while I sorted out my thoughts. I was sure Edward would never have let me go shopping three hours away if he suspected trouble. Yet, there was the time he manipulated the situation so that my dad allowed the two of us to fly to Florida to visit my mom for a few days. This he did because he suspected Victoria was running about Washington plotting my demise. Maybe he was hiding something from me, but he would never have let me go without one of them with me. I had to be totally off base.

I decided to table my analysis of my suspicions until I could confront Edward face to face. I closed the book I'd grabbed and glanced at the title, Dante's Divine Comedy, how ironic. The subject of heaven and hell and where your soul ends up after you die has been an often visited topic of conversation between Edward and me. I retrieved Mr. Berty's list and confirmed that this book was on the list. Who knows maybe it held some great revelation that I could use to vilify my belief that Edward had a soul and that his goodness made him worthy of ascending to the golden gates above.

I began to review the list for other books I would be interested in reading and took a step forward only to step on the cell phone that must have fallen out of my purse when I pulled out the reading list. I picked it up and anxiously checked it to see if maybe Alice had called to leave a warning because of a vision she might have had. There was a text message in my inbox. I couldn't get my fingers to open the phone fast enough. My heart was racing. I just knew I was right about my feeling. I finally got my fingers to press the right keys and my inbox revealed the message. All it said was _Miss You, love Edward._

I had to laugh but not too loud as to draw attention to myself from other patrons of the store. I was not only paranoid but borderline delusional. Here I was on a beautiful sunny day shopping in a town that had an acceptable bookstore with good company and I had to create drama for myself. Maybe I should be in the self help section looking for some self analysis books.

By the time Mrs. Weber and Angela caught up with me, I had decided on two other books, Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman and The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer.

"It looks like you had some luck." Mrs. Weber said looking at the titles in my hand. "Those are some challenging pieces. Were they suggested reading to prepare for college?"

"Yeah, Mr. Berty gave us a list and I figured it couldn't hurt." As I said this I saw Angela, who was standing behind her mom, roll her eyes.

"You see Angela; it never hurts to get a head start."

"Mom, I'm getting a science degree not arts. I hope to take the literature class for the non arts students. I could never get my head around most of that stuff."

I jumped in to throw Angela some help, "I've decided to minor in literature so I just wanted to get some books read to prepare myself." I smiled at Angela and mouthed _sorry._

She smiled back and nodded mouthing _it's okay._

Before we left the store I had added The Beautiful and the Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Mrs. Webber had picked up a couple of murder mystery books and Angela made a point of getting a book of poems by Elizabeth Barrett Browning, I'm sure just to appease her mother.

It was well after 3:30pm when we loaded up in the van to start our trek home. Once I was settled into my seat with no intentions of moving for a while, I felt the exhaustion set in. I could tell Angela was equally tired, as she was resting her head back with her eyes temporarily shut. Maybe a 

nap would be in order on the ride home, but with my sleep talking and nightmare screams I thought better of that.

As Mrs. Weber put on her seatbelt, started the engine and began to back out, I glanced out the window and noticed in the far corner of the parking lot a robed figure. Another monk I told myself. They sure do get around. Then after further appraisal, I saw that this figure was tall and had very broad shoulders. The hood was up so no face could be seen and his arms were folded in front so no skin was exposed. Not really anything to necessarily be alarmed about. Then it hit me; thinking back to the monks I saw earlier today. The distinct attitude in his stance seemed out of character. But even more alarming was what he was leaning on. It was a very distinctive black Cadillac SUV that reflected the light from the sun, but the extreme tint of the windows would let none inside.

As our van left the lot turning away from his direction, I saw the figure turn opening the door to get into the car. I craned around in my seat to get a better look. Never was there any skin exposed or facial features. Inside the car was only blackness. Oh crap, I knew I was right, the Volturi were watching but from a distance for now.

I frantically grabbed for my purse and the sudden sound of my moves startled Angela to life. She gave me a puzzled look like maybe I was going to have some kind of attack in front of her.

I purposefully slowed my actions and pulled out my cell phone "I thought I heard my phone. It might be Edward. You know making plans for later."

Angela giggled "I bet he's waiting for you when we get back."

Boy I hoped so and I also hoped my new shadow would fade away into the sunset. I opened my phone, no messages. I looked at Angela and shrugged my shoulders trying to look a little disappointed which really was not far from the truth. She nodded back with a shrug of empathy and rested her head back on the seat and closing her eyes.

I resolved myself to being the ultimate watchdog. Scanning the mirrors as discreetly as I could and glancing out windows like a first time sight seer. Mrs. Weber had returned to listening to her audio book and was intently watching the road, enjoying herself. I never saw the Cadillac again the whole way home.

When Mrs. Weber pulled up in front of my house, Angela turned off the DVD player for the second time. I couldn't even tell you what movie was playing. I graciously thanked them for inviting me and gathered the few sacks of purchases that I had conveniently shifted during the drive to reside beside me for a quick exit.

"Bella, honey, I'm so glad you came with us. I know you'll be busy now with plans for your big day. Congratulations and have fun with it, it will be so special." Mrs. Weber was always so nice. I think Angela thought maybe borderline sappy the way she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, Bella I'll call you later or you call me if you need any help with anything." Angela added.

"Okay, thanks again" I replied waving as they drove away trying desperately to hide the panic rising with the thought of being alone right now. Charlie's cruiser was gone, which for this time of night was not really normal. I ran to the front door, frantically fumbling the key in the lock to gain entry. I pushed the door shut very deliberately and bolted it full well knowing this would not keep out a vampire. The light on the answering machine was blinking. I dropped my sacks at the bottom of the stairs and went to listen to the message. It was Charlie and he had to go work an accident where some minivan was following a semi too close. He said he would be back a soon as he could and not to worry about making him dinner.

When the message finished and the machine reset with a final click I stopped to listen. Through the silence I thought I could hear a muted ringing within my own head probably brought on by the rapid fire thoughts of impending doom. In realty there was nothing to hear. I went for my purse and grabbed the cell phone. I really wanted to call Alice but I knew that in that instant that Edward would know, so it would just be easier to talk to him.

I opened the phone to dial his number and it rang. The screen told me the call was from Edward's phone. "Hello, Edward?" my voice was a little shaky and I couldn't help myself from swallowing hard.

"Bella, Bella what's wrong?" He immediately picked up the tone of my answer.

"Nothing, I just got home. Charlie's working a wreck, it's just really quiet here and the phone spooked me."

"I'll be there in a few minutes." the call disconnected but I was sure I heard the acceleration of his engine before that.

I sat frozen to the chair in the kitchen, hearing the tick of the second hand on the wall clock. True to his word it was just minutes but they were very long minutes. I heard his car coming up the street. Before I could get to the door he was knocking. I'm sure he would have let himself in with the key that usually was on the ledge outside but it was clenched within my fingers.

I unlocked the bolt and the door opened. He stepped in and placed both his hands on the sides of my face peering into my eyes noticing evident panic and stress. "What is it?" was all he asked.

"I think I saw one of the Volturi today." I tried to say calmly like it was a common occurrence but my voice waned at the end.

"What makes you think this? What did you see?" He asked almost too fast for my ears to comprehend. His hands moved to my shoulders as he guided me back to the chair I had been sitting in. I hadn't noticed that at some point he had retrieved his cell phone and it was in his hand.

"I'm fine really. It was as we left to come back to Forks, as we left the parking lot. I saw someone in a cloak like the ones they wore in Italy. I think he was watching me. It was really bright out you know so I didn't see his face, his hood was up, and no skin showing."

"It was just one and just when you were leaving." I could tell his mind was racing for explanations of what I was detailing to him. "Were there any others around?"

"No, at lunch, when we were in the park, I kind of freaked when I saw some monks that Mrs. Weber said were from the Saint Martin's Monastery, but there hoods were down and most definitely monks, so it was just this one guy."

"What makes you think this guy was not another monk?" He asked this question but did not sound skeptical. He believed me, or at least believed that I was certain and was collecting facts.

"He was leaning against and then got into a very flashy black Cadillac with blackout tint on the windows. Not something I think many monks are accustomed to."

"How far away was he? Did they follow you out of the lot?" he asked as he opened his phone and dialed.

"Quite far away, maybe 50 yards or more, I didn't see them follow us and I watched all the way back but never saw that car again." While I answered I saw his lips moving. He was talking to someone on the other end.

"Come on Bella, let's go see Alice. She says Tonya has called." As he said this he scribbled a note in brilliantly forged script that read _Dad I'm at Edward's, be back later. B._


	12. Chapter 11 Seclusion

**Seclusion**

Pack

The council meeting was set to begin in one hour. I had just enough time, I thought, to touch base with Jacob, to try and reason with him, if he would talk to me. The council would want to know his whereabouts and what his intentions were. Billy deserved to know even more. I walked about 100 feet into the woods behind the house I shared with Emily. I closed my eyes and willed the wolf to take control. As a wolf the feeling of not being alone in your head was instantaneous, but I was shocked when I felt the irritation and uneasiness. I shook myself trying to regain my own composure. I opened my eyes to take in my physical surroundings. I needed to center myself, keeping distanced from but still remain open to Jacob's thoughts and the feelings that came with them.

It felt like a wall had gone up in my mind. He was so tense that it made me want to get up and pace back and forth trampling a path in the foliage. I was sure he was doing the same where ever he was.

"Where are you?" I asked.

I saw pictures of dimly lit stones all about. I caught a glimpse of light coming from only one opening? He was in a cave. He was concentrating hard on the granite surrounding, avoiding my questioning. I opted for a line of patience asking no more questions and just waited.

After a couple of minutes he grew bored with analyzing the rocks and reviewed his day's activities. He thought about his swim in a stream, lying in the sun to dry and chasing a rabbit for lunch. Then there was a flash of him running, his nose to the ground and the sick sweet scent of enemy. There was an underlying excitement in his thoughts for just an instance. He darted his mind back to walls around him. This was the last thing I was expecting to experience.

I tried to get him to elaborate, "Do you think it is one of the Cullens?" I wondered if Bella had sent them searching for him. After the battle with the newborns I had almost considered trusting the Cullens a little bit. Jacob is my responsibility. I would have thought they would have checked with me before tracking him for her.

"No," He spoke at least as much as a thought could be spoken. Okay, maybe I would need to be a little less judgmental of the Cullens. I might need them for information as to what this situation was becoming, if there even was a situation.

"Jacob, will you talk to me, if just for Billy's sake?" There was nothing more than peering at rocks. "Okay, then just listen please." He was there but not quite as distant. "Don't pursue it. You of all of us know better than to take one on alone. Besides, that's not our territory, we have no jurisdiction. I understand your desire to be alone and work things out, that's one thing. I've been there. I really understand that, but keep your head about you. There are people here, lots of us who are willing to help but more important is we want you to stay safe."

"Maybe you should change your location? Get out of there, follow the water, and mask your scent. Come back here. You can stay at my place, no one has to know your there." This kid was not seeing the big picture. A lone wolf that had no definite idea of what might be out there, you should never under estimate the unknown. "Jacob, think about this rationally. If it feels threatened by you just being there or if it decides to hunt you; you don't know what kind of fight you'd be in for."

"I'm not suicidal." This was the most I'd been able to get from him since he took off. His thoughts ended. He must have phased back to his human form. He probably suspected I would make an edict for him to return against his will. I barked and growled in frustration.

Then more were present in my thoughts. "Sam what's wrong? Where's Jake? What's happened?" Each thought occurred, overlapping the other. It was Embry and Seth.

"Nothing's really wrong, yet. Just phase back and I'll see you at the meeting." I followed my own request and phased back to human form. I grabbed my clothes and put them on. These boys, just teenagers, they were my biggest obstacle. These were just boys given the task of men. I had relied heavily on the council to guide me. Their wisdom held the answers, but to these boys and girl the respect for the council wisdom was evidently not what it should be. In some ways I had become the interpreter between the council and my pack.

I thought about the Jacob situation all the way to the meeting hall. I knew the moment I got there that Embry and Seth would be looking for explanations of our earlier conversation, but I really needed to speak with Billy first. It was about twenty till when I walked into the lot, and saw Sue Clearwater pull into the lot with Billy in the passenger seat with Leah in the back. Seth was standing at the meeting hall doors with a juvenile smug smile on his face. He had obviously made a race of the trip to the meeting, his feet versus her wheels. I was sure that Sue was just humoring her son. I walked to the trunk of the car as Sue hit the trunk release. Bringing Billy's chair to him, I bent down very closely making it look like I was helping him maneuver into his chair, and whispered "Can I have a word with you?"

Billy quickly reflected acknowledgment of my request and turned to Sue "Go on ahead Sue. I need to have a word with Sam, first." The way he said it made it sound as though it was definitely his idea and not mine. He wheeled his chair back away from the car and closed the door. I marveled at the way he remained calm. With as little information as he had about where his son was, he seemed to know he was fine. I squatted down before him, trying to hide, putting the car between me and anyone else who might be entering the meeting hall. This was the most privacy I could hope for. "How is he?" was all he asked.

"He's fine. He's staying in a cave on the edge of some ridge." How was I supposed to tell Jacob's father that he was potentially in the midst of who knows how many vampires. I only knew it wasn't a familiar vampire scent. The trace might even have been old. I had no way of knowing since he stifled his memory.

"There is more. I can see the anguish weighing heavily in your eyes. What has he done? What is he planning? Has he told you?"

"When I spoke with him yesterday, he had brief thoughts of you and of hunting with us. I hoped his attitude was turning. I believe he was realizing there was support for him here and I thought he was getting near a decision to come back." I started to explain.

"Yes, you told me this yesterday, but I see in your face that something has changed" he said these words so calmly, not a hint of alarm in them but rather with compassion.

"He slipped and I saw he crossed a vampire scent. I asked if it was a scent he knew, a Cullen. He actually answered, no. He gave me no more details than that. I told him that I thought he should come back." I said disparagingly.

"Did he sound, I mean feel, upset, depressed? Could you tell?" I could tell Billy was frustrated with the situation. I'm sure it was uncomfortable for him to have a third party involved in what should be private family business.

"He's definitely upset and very stubborn. The scent, unfortunately, excites him, it's instinctual. I told him the reasons to not pursue it. He said one last thing after I lectured him. He said he wasn't suicidal. He phased out intentionally I suspect, breaking the link. I think he might start dodging me, hoping I won't order him to return. I really don't think that forcing him to come back would help his frame of mind. I think he might rebel more. The freedom when being a wolf can be very exhilarating and uplifting and, in some ways, a conscious cleansing.

"Do you think he might be transferring, I mean using this vampire wake to distract himself from his original problems?" Jacob's Dad was really trying hard to believe his son was making progress to a resolution.

"I'm not sure. I told him how senseless it was if he was following this leech, but I feel like I'm walking a fine line with him. I don't want to anger him any more so that he severs contact with us. I don't want him to let his anger get the best of him and do something rash. I don't think he would track it alone. He's just lying low."

"Sounds like something he would do, he tends to brood. I think I'll take that as a good sign. Maybe we should keep this to ourselves for now until we know more. It may be a track that is months old. I would hate to cause alarm for no reason." Just then Billy looked over the hood of the car, smiled and nodded. His was acknowledging Old Quil Ateara entering the doors of the meeting hall. "We'd better get inside. You know how much Quil hates wasting time."

I stood and fell in behind Billy's chair pushing him into the building. The conference room looked like any other in a place of modest means. The walls were covered in sheets of large wood-look paneling. The floor was covered in tan commercial grade carpet squares that were stuck to the concrete floor beneath. There were four battered folding conference tables arranged in a square, edged with a miscellaneous hodge podge of folding chairs. Only about half of the chairs had occupants.

I wheeled Billy up to the table to a vacant spot beside Sue. Then I went and found a seat beside Seth and Embry. I was sure to present myself in a manner that showed now was not the time to discuss my earlier frustrations. I saw Leah had moved a chair into the corner and was sporting her usual antisocial scowl. Jared was on a date with Kim. Paul and his father had gone to Port Angeles for some remodeling supplies. Brady and Collin, because they were so young, were not part of these meetings yet. They were getting private lessons from the elders on the history of the Quileute tribe.

"Let's get things started," Old Quil began in a wavering voice that was surprisingly strong in volume. Just then his grandson, young Quil, darted in the door and silently slid into a chair on the other side of Embry. "It's nice of you to join us."

"Sorry." young Quil said looking down into his hands.  
Old Quill began again "I don't see the point in making this a formal meeting. Sam, correct me if I'm wrong, but so far, there is no current presence of vampires other than the Cullens?"

"True" I replied.

"But you are still coordinating sweeps?" Quil continued.

"Yes."

"Have the Cullens been in contact with you since the battle? What is their take on any futuer threats?"

"The only contact was with Carlisle. We only discussed Jacob's physical injuries." When I said this, the room grew quiet and I saw Billy look down to hide the pain in his eyes. At first I hadn't realized what I had implied, but my subconscious must have steered me to distinguish between Jacob's bodily and emotional issues.

"Yes, well, we should probably get in touch with Carlise, by phone should suffice. We need to see what their take on the situation is and reiterate with them that nothing about the treaty has changed. We have to do what is in the best interest of our people."

"Yes, I will."

"Has there been any contact with Jacob?" When old Quil asked this question he was looking only at Billy. I refrained from speaking also looking to Billy.

"He is still up North. He is young and I am sure a bit lost in his feelings. Sam has been helping him. I want him to come back but I fear pushing him might drive him away farther. He's a good boy and I believe he will be back when he can." There was both sadness and pride in Billy's voice when he spoke. When he finished, he looked at me and nodded in appreciation for my assistance with his son but I also noted intensity in his glance, like a warning to be careful. I immediately resolved my face to represent indifference and appear void of any other concerns.

The meeting continued on. I was asked to set up some rigorous physical training with Brady and Collin because they were getting restless with just studying the tribal history of the werewolves. There was much discussion about problems occurring in other tribes in the regions, problems like drinking, drugs and vandalism. These things were not present in our community and if I had anything to do about it, would not be present. After about 45 minutes of discussion I could sense the restlessness of my pack. Their youth was evident as their attention waned. Leah on the other hand sat very still looking forward at nothing in particular with an impassive look on her face through the whole meeting.

Old Quill adjourned the meeting and Leah was the first to leave the building. My eyes followed her exit and I started to follow, but noticed Billy looking at me as he was being pushed by Leah's mom, Sue. I set my stride to meet up with him before he reached the doors. "You're doing a great job, Sam. I have every confidence in you." He said reaching for my hand and giving my hand a strong shake.

"Thank you, I will call you when I am in contact with Jacob again." I said this as a half truth because I would most definitely try and make contact with him later tonight. The statement was more for show with the other members of the council.

"Good, good." was Billy's reply.

Leah was already in her mother's car and apparently still not happy about the discussion we had yesterday. I knew her well enough to give her time to cool down and for her this usually took a while. Her brother, Seth, had apparently already run off. That left Sue to help Billy into her car which she did like she'd been doing it for years. As they backed out to drive away, Billy gave me another look of warning and consequence. I was sure he had more to tell me but not at this particular time and place.

As I began to walk back home, I sensed Embry behind me. "What hacked you off earlier, you know before you got to the meeting?" Embry was not usually someone who pried because he had 

personal struggles that he liked to keep private. However, he was a true and loyal friend to Jacob. If it had anything to do with him, as far as he was concerned, he was entitled to know.

"Jacob is fine. He's just still working through stuff. It's just hard having him so far away. It restricts how much help I can give him and I find it very frustrating."

"Maybe I could try and talk to him? Maybe I can get him to come back?" Embry offered.

"First I need to check with Billy to see what he feels is best, but I will definitely take you up on it if it is okay with him."

"Yeah, that's good, yeah fine check with Billy and let me know. I'll be over at Paul's, he should be back by now. Just let me know okay." Embry said with true sincerity. Jacob had so much to be thankful for, he just needed to see past his pain and see the love and support he still had.

Emily was waiting for me in the kitchen when I got home. She had traces of flour on her forehead and under her nose. On the counter, two large bowls sat covered with tea towels concealing the dough rising inside. She had just finished cleaning up the remnants of her work from the counter top.

I came up beside her and said "You missed some."

"Where?" She was looking down at the counter and the floor around us.

I placed my hands on the sides of her face and kissed her forehead. "Here" and then moved to her upper lip and ever so gently, like her skin was of the finest silk, I kissed her there "and here." She giggled and locked her embrace around my waist.

"I just hadn't gotten there yet but I can forever count on you to help me out."

"Yes, forever." and it was true. I was hers and only hers forever, for always. She rested her head on my chest. Her breath was calm and her hug enveloped me in adulation. "You've been busy, as usual."

"I have been and I got everything done I wanted to." On the days she did not, I knew that something was wrong with her. I can only remember two days, the day Harry Clearwater had died and another time she had reached the peak of a cold. "How was your meeting?"

"They want me to contact the Cullens and see if any more of their kind are coming for visits." Emily tensed but smiled at me with support. "It's just a phone call. We haven't come across any indications on our patrols of the lines. I'm still leery, but the doctor seems to be a reliable source of information when he's approached. I still think we need to run patrols for awhile though."

"What about Jacob? Is he coming back? We all love and care about him. We can help him through this if he would just come back."

"I agree. I am trying to convince him of this, but you know Jacob. He tends to have to do things his way." It was so easy to see the worry in her eyes. Her heart was as expansive as the mountain ranges around us.

"I know you will find a way." She tightened her grip about me with a show of support and devotion. For the two of us, love was easy. I could only hope that Jacob could find another that would make love easy for him too.


	13. Chapter 12 Contact

**Contact**

Bella

Stepping outside the confines of my house made me feel exposed again, even with Edward beside me. My palms were sweating. I scanned up and down the street for the black Cadillac. There was no sign of it. Not that this made any difference, the dense trees were perfect hiding places. I felt like a sitting duck and I knew better than to feel this way. Edward would know if someone was around, he would sense their thoughts, hear their steps and see even the slightest alarming movement, but none of this mattered. I couldn't help the way I was feeling. Since moving to Forks I think I had experience every emotion in the spectrum. I just hoped I wasn't getting to comfortable with the unpleasant ones.

Edward guided me to his car with his arm securely around my shoulder. I was only sitting in my seat for a second when he was clicking the seat belt across me. Before I could turn towards the driver's side, his door was opened and shut and he was starting the ignition. I saw concern on his face every time he looked at me.

"Has Alice seen something? What does Tonya have to do with this? Who did she call?"

"No, Alice saw Carlisle getting the voice message on his phone. He and Esme are on their way back. Alice is checking again for decisions by the Volturi? It is possible that it might have been someone else you saw. I'm not saying that what you suspect is not right. I just need more facts. I shouldn't have let you go alone."

"I wasn't alone and you are not responsible for everything every minute of the day. I'm probably just over reacting. He was probably just staring at me because I was staring at him." I knew in my heart I did not believe this and there was no way you could convince me otherwise.

"Have you heard from Billy?" he asked.

Okay, this was not a line of questioning I was prepared for. My heart jumped up into my throat and I choked out "No, only Leah the other day. Why? Do you think something has happened to Jacob? Is someone coming they need to know about?" I could feel my eyes pooling up.

"No Bella, I have no idea. Let's just discuss this further when we get to the house and find out what Carlisle knows. He smiled at me with caring eyes and patted my hand.

"Edward, please don't patronize me or sugar coat this." I exclaimed exasperated. I knew my temper was rising and that would not help the situation, but I was so tired. I had been on the watch the whole way home from Olympia. I was tense and panicked but tried to hide it at the same time and it took a lot of energy to do that.

"Alice doesn't see anything or anyone coming here." Edward was keeping his voice very calm and his face was stoic. I knew that this meant he was thinking of potential possibilities of other threats. My mind began listing all the people who I couldn't stand to see harmed and the name that kept surfacing the most was Jacob. Had the disappointment he had in me caused him to make a stupid, rash decision that put him in harm's way? What would Tonya have to do with it then? How far away would he run, surely not all the way to Alaska? I remembered that distance to me, a mere human, was not relative to distance for a super being.

The scenery outside the car was flying by so fast that it made my head hurt to watch. I watched my breath fog a spot on the window instead. The spot was expanding and contracting with my breaths. It began to expand more and contract less as my breathing accelerated with my panic. I was beginning to feel dizzy, my extremities were tingling. What was going on? I needed to 

know now! I felt the car stop. I tried to focus on where I was. We were in the Cullen's driveway. This was good and safe, mostly. I just needed some air and I would be fine. Then I could find Alice and see if my suspicions were right. Just one thing at a time I told myself. My hand was shaking and I was having difficulty finding the door handle.

Edward carefully grasped my shoulders and calmly turned me towards him "Bella, you're hyperventilating. Calm down, please, this is probably nothing. I wouldn't have brought you accept for the fact that you were already upset about what you saw in Olympia. We can go inside once you compose yourself. I can't have you falling down and accumulating more injuries. We will have Alice check again. Just breathe slower and clear your head." His hand moved to stroke my face and settle on the back of my neck. The chill on my skin was brisk and brought clarity to my consciousness. I thought about the air moving in and out of my lungs. The air in the car was sweet, laced with his scent. His touch could chill me but his smell would always warm me from the inside out. With just a few deep breaths to capture and contain him within my lungs, I was beginning to feel better. I still had panic but I was controlling it.

"I'm better, really." I said not very convincingly. As we walked together through the front door I saw her instantly appear at the top of the stairs.

"Hello Bella. Did you have fun shopping? What did you get?" Alice chimed.

Was I totally over reacting or was she just making small talk to defuse the situation? Her face was serene and probably for her shopping was more important than anything else besides Jasper.

I couldn't help myself. This was absolutely ludicrous. I knew my face reflected how absurd her question sounded to me. I turned to Edward accusingly. "Didn't you tell her what I saw? Where is Carlisle? I thought we came here to discuss, to prepare for, for…" I had no idea what we were preparing for. In that instant I heard how anxious and fanatical I was. I took one very deep breath, still looking at Edward and apologized "Sorry, I'm out of line."

His eyes held a hint of amusement but his mouth was not smiling. He reached around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. "Yes, I told her. Alice have you checked?"

Alice advanced down the stairs her feet barely skimming the steps. She had an equally amused look on her face. "Yes, I saw no decisions from the family that impacts us. I did, however, see a very interesting investment opportunity." She stopped a few feet away from me appraising my reaction.

"Thank you, Alice. Bella, if Victoria showed us anything it was not to under estimate our challenges. We are aware and watching. What I said before about not letting you go alone, I meant that I understood how you could be alarmed by what you saw. You are privy to a world very few humans would be able to even comprehend and you have taken it all in stride for the most part. That's not to say that you don't feel threatened. I'm sure you feel most threatened of all. You have the most to lose and if you lose then I lose. Your one of us and there is security in numbers. Your security is with the people who know your situation, but like Alice has confirmed the situation does not indicate a threat looming on the horizon."

"But what about Tonya's call"

Alice gave an abbreviated chuckle and said with a gloat "She's calling to apologize for not coming to our aid before. Apparently, she is fishing for details about the battle, for lack of a better word. It actually was more like a tussle; those fledglings had no idea what they were up against. 

She's most likely wanting to make sure the lines of communication are not strained between our covens. I wonder if Carlisle will tell her about the wedding, no I don't see that he will, too bad."

"Alice, that's enough forecasting for now." Edward was definitely perturbed. I searched his face trying to figure out what point he was making with her.

"Oh, by the way I was speaking with Renee this morning and she is so excited about spending some time with us the week before the big day." Alice was giddy as she said this, but the shock of those words caused me to turn my head so fast to look at her that I practically sprained my neck.

"What? Renee is coming here, when?" my sanity couldn't take much more of this.

"Of course she is Bella, she's your mother. Don't begrudge her the joy of partaking in the wedding preparations. You're the only daughter she has." With most people that argument might have worked. With Alice presenting, it would definitely work but I was suppose to hold the power of veto. That meant I had to know about things in order to be able to veto them.

Trying to keep from raising my voice I said through gritted teeth "When and what are the specifics."

This time Edward stepped in. "Bella, a cottage has been reserved and paid for at Lake Crescent Lodge for your Mother and Phil. The cottage sleeps up to six, so you can stay there with her or not. The lodge is in Port Angeles. Since I really didn't think you would be appreciative of a bachelorette party, I actually suggested this as an alternative. Alice can be with you."

"Yes, I am the maid of honor and it is my responsibility to provide you with de-stress management. I have pedicures, massages, manicures, and I am open to setting up tours at local attractions, or if you would rather, just spend quiet time with your mother, I would understand." She warily stepped closer to me and patted me on the shoulder.

I did miss my mom. It had only been a couple of months since the last time I saw her, when Edward and I went to Jacksonville for a weekend visit, I think it made me miss her more. I couldn't help but wonder how much I would miss her when it would no longer be feasible for me to see her, when I would have to hurt her deeply by disappearing forever. I owed her every bit of happiness I could create for her. I needed to make these memories for her and with her. Then I admitted to myself that I needed these memories too. I gave a long slow sigh relinquishing my opposition to the plans. Immediately Alice clapped her hands together faster than I ever thought was possible and raced back upstairs.

I turned, not looking at Edward, walked past him, out the front door and took a seat on the front steps. I was picturing Renee on the other end of the phone with Alice. She was picturing the invitations, the flowers, my dress, as Alice went about describing them to her. I could see a smile spreading across her face with excitement in her eyes. I saw her repeating the same details to Phil. Of course, he would be less than enthused but my mom's exuberance would still be going strong. Maybe being around her would make this wedding a little more enticing for me. This day needed to be special, not so much for me, but for Renee and Charlie and most of all, Edward. Well, if I was being honest with myself, maybe just a little bit for me.

"Bella, if this is too much, we can change it." Edward had silently sat down beside me. His sympathetic eyes were searching my face.

"No, no its fine, Edward, Renee needs to be a part of this. Alice is right, its fine." I reached out, grabbed his right hand and entwined my fingers with his giving a squeeze of assurance. As I 

constricted my grip about his hand I marveled at the firm sleekness of his hand. It was a wonder that any pressure I could attain would register with him. He did respond in kind with a grasp that carried no more force than my own. As I consider his gesture compared to mine, I saw how little effort it took me too show how much I care. His effort spoke volumes. His restraint, although seemingly effortless, had to be immense. The love he had for me I was sure of, but in perspective it was so much more. I remembered when Mr. Birney once quoted Alexander Pope "To err is human, to forgive divine". Well, I was the human that over reacted in error. The seraph seated beside me was most definitely divine.

We sat there for a few minutes and I stroked his hand with my thumb. When he reached across with his other hand and stopped my caress I looked up at him. I tried to pin point the emotion in his eyes. Was it concern, confusion, curiosity or was I totally off base. Then he spoke, leaning close and whispering as he rested his forehead against mine. "Bella, are you sure your okay. When you are this quiet, I suspect there is pain you're dealing with. I don't want this for you, but I don't have any idea where to begin to make it better. I need to be able to make it better."

"This isn't bad, Edward. I was just considering what I have, you know; not taking things for granted. I have so much more than most people. I have you; someone who lives a life against what is natural or maybe just normal for his kind. You restrict your abilities in so many ways when you're around me. For me, I just have to live and love, that's all. So it's all so simple, I love you and I want to marry you. All the rest I will leave up to Alice. I'm just going to be with my families, relax and be selfishly in love with you."

He moved back a few inches to peer at me. He was smiling the kind of smile that wrinkled all the corners of his eyes. He still held my hand between his. He lightly kissed my eyes shut and then moved down to my lips, brushing my face the whole way with his lips. When our mouths met there was heat; in my face, in my lips, in my breath. Our lips danced together and my heart hastened with passion and the deepest desires of love. He yielded my lips and progressed down my neck where I felt his mouth on the vein throbbing in my neck. I felt a thrill that caused me to gasp and shudder. Edward stopped, but my breaths were still fast. When I opened my eyes to look at him he was still smiling and breathing very deeply. "You look," he paused, considering his words "very beautiful, but don't take this the wrong way. You also look a little tired. I could take you home."

"No, I want to be here when Carlisle and Esme get back."

"That might be a little more than an hour away. I can tell you tomorrow."

I looked at him in disdain "I would like to be included in this."

"As you wish, but at least lie down in my room and I will wake you when they are here. You did say you were going to relax and I think that is wise advice."

"A power nap and you promise to wake me?" It was always best to get the details of comprise confirmed especially when negotiating with Edward.

"Of course." he replied as if he would never plan to do anything but that.

As we walked up to his room I thought I might want to be brought up to speed about plans and details that I was not apprised of. "So how long has Alice been corresponding with Renee?"

"Every day since Wednesday night, I suggested she call and give her a few details. After reading her email I thought she sounded a little left out. Alice and Renee have become quite tight as 

wedding planners go. I also hoped and knew that Alice would be able to convey that we are doing this for the right reasons."

"Of course, what other reasons could there possibly ever be?" I said giggling with very thick sarcasm. "What other things have they decided upon?" There had to me more. I was very leery of what might come next. With Alice's tendency for extravagance and Renee's occasional eccentricity I was dreading what might be common ground.

"Alice mostly left the menu for the reception up to Renee, she would be the better candidate to judge our guests tastes. I'm actually very impressed with Alice. She is keeping this affair quite intimate and thus there are not many details to be decided. The caterer has a crew that will set up the tent and tables for the reception. The flowers and minister are secured. There's not anything else I can think of. Oh, I did take the liberty of requesting a dance floor in the tent. I hope you don't think that out of line."

I remembered my junior prom and how much fun it was dancing with Edward. This time I would not be in a walking cast but I was still blessed with two lefts. However, as Edward once said "It is all in the leading." And who wouldn't want to dance with their husband on their wedding day? "No, not at all. It will be fun." I replied

He laughed just a little and said "You must be tired. Just lie down for a bit. I promise to wake you when they pull in the drive, just get a little sleep to feel better."

I must have fallen asleep the minute my head hit the pillow. I don't even know if Edward stayed in the room or not. If I dreamt while I slept I didn't remember it. I do remember his voice. "Bella, Carlisle and Esme are back. If you wish to sleep more I'm sure they would understand and we can talk with them later." I felt the cold of his touch on my shoulder through my shirt but I would always welcome it.

"No, I'm getting up." I said rubbing each eye with my left hand. "I want to hear this."

As we ascended the stairs I heard the opening and closing of the kitchen door. Then Alice glided up beside us when we reached the main floor.

"This won't be as exciting as you think. There was nothing juicy at all." Alice said.

Rosalie was already in the kitchen when we came in. Emmett and Jasper came in through the kitchen door shutting it behind them.

With a mild look of surprise Carlisle spoke "Well this is a nice reception, all of you here at once or is there something wrong I should know about?"

"Alice saw that Tonya called you, we were just curious about what she wanted." Edward explained diplomatically.

"Ah, yes, yes she did leave me a message. I returned her call on our way back. I must admit I was a little surprised to get the call after our last conversation. Her call was actually because of that conversation. She had Katrina come within range the other night, without Irina knowing of course, to see if our numbers remained the same. She admitted she was happy that they were, but still, with the limitations of Katrina's gift, she felt the need to call and be sure the number represented our true family."

"So she was milking you for details." Rose said with thick accusation in her voice.

"Now, Rose, I doubt that was her primary intention. I did tell her we managed the encounter to the end that we desired and that none of us were injured. She sincerely offered relief and apology for not assisting, but she does have her own family to look after. She said that Katrina 

picked up the ghost traces of the newborns from the battle and of another group of vampires that seem to have ventured over quite a bit of the territories in the Northeast. Then she mentioned something else, a trace of something she has never had occasion to experience. I did tell her that some of the Volturi arrived after the fact to help with the remaining cleanup and insure our kind's anonymity." Carlisle explained.

"I bet she liked that." Rose added.

"Rose, come on, no one likes those guys to visit, not even them. They have a right to know that much. We would want to know if we were in their shoes, lighten up, honey." Emmett was the only person who could reason with Rose. When he walked over beside her and slipped his massive arm around her shoulder, giving her the gentlest squeeze, it was clear he knew exactly how to win her over. I believed that his touch could sometimes achieve the same calming affect Jasper had done for me on occasion.

"Was there anything more? Did she elaborate on the path that Jane, Dimitri, Felix and the others traveled?" Edward glanced my way for just one second. Was he thinking that the figure I saw in Olympia was Dimitri or Felix? I honestly hoped he was wrong. If it was Dimitri, then my capacity to evade the abilities of the likes of Jane and him was nothing more than a minor inconvenience for the Voulturi. This new realization destroyed every ounce of relaxation I had achieved during my brief nap. I felt Edward slip his hand into mine. He stroked the back of my hand with his thumb.

Looking directly at me, Carlisle replied "She only indicated that she saw their ghost paths. They had managed to visit several areas of the Northwest Territories all the way up into Alaska and back down into Seattle. She thought their path leaving the Olympic mountain range took them east, but her range is limited. I didn't want to draw any significant attention to them being here, so I didn't ask for any more information then she was offering."

"They were in Seattle? Did she say whether this was before or after the newborns headed to Forks?" Edward was contemplating something and I really wished he would share. I knew he would not easily divulge a suspicion unless he felt confident it was plausible.

"No, she did not. She just said Katrina was sure that the pair had left the area. For now, let's concede that the Volturi are satisfied with the outcome of the newborn situation. As long as Alice doesn't see any major threats let's all move forward to the happier times to come, shall we?" Carlisle gave a fatherly smile to Edward and me. I knew that Edward would have discussions of his own with Carlisle later, and was going to find out what he was thinking. I decided that I was going to redirect my fears and panic into determination to be a part of this situation. I did a little calculating of my own and determined that I should let things play out and interrogate Edward when he came to visit me later.

The family dispersed, Rose and Emmett went out to the garage. Carlisle and Esme went into the front room. Edward gave a loaded glance to Alice who was flanked by Jasper. Then he turned to me and said "I think I should get you home. You still look tired and you do have commitments tomorrow." I only had two more days left at Newton's outfitters.

"Yes, I am tired." I caved, but maybe a bit too easily, because Edward squinted his eyes with skepticism at my agreement.

"I will just go get the car and bring it around. Just wait here a moment will you?" I nodded seeing his ploy for what it was. He wanted to talk with Emmett and/or Rose alone. Maybe he was 

setting up guard duty or a scouting party for Katrina's ghost traces. What exactly are ghost traces? I was definitely going to ask that on the ride home.

"So are you excited about spending time with your mother, Bella?" Alice was trying to distract me but I was focused and it wasn't going to work.

"Yeah, sure I am. You know I know what he's doing? He thinks he's hiding the fact that he wants a private conversation with them. Well, this is becoming a bit predictable for him."

"Yes, well, when it comes to you I wouldn't so much call it predictable, Bella, as protective with a bit of adoration thrown in. Wouldn't you agree?" Alice trilled and smiled with a huge grin. Jasper, however, had a stern look possibly disapproving of this conversation about his brother behind said brother's back. Seeing his look, Alice added "That is just one reason why you two are so perfect for each other. You see each other for what you are and you embrace it for lack of a better word. I see you will allow him to make these arrangements because they make him feel better which in turn makes you feel better. You both feel better. It's wonderful don't you see?"

"Uh, okay, yeah, I see." I'm not sure I did see or maybe I really was really tired and what Alice said was just a bit commingled that I lost the translation. I heard the Volvo's engine rev and knew that was my best chance to escape further confusion.

When I got in the car Edward smiled innocently.

"So, did you have a nice chat with Emmett? Is he taking first watch until you come back to my house after Charlie is asleep?" I did not say these things accusingly but calmly and factually. I was 100 sure I was right and I was.

"Yes." He said and laughed lightly.

"And while you are gone, what are you and Carlisle going to talk about?"

This time he did not laugh but still smiled. "I have further questions about his conversation with Tonya, specifically what Katrina was sensing. I agree with Carlisle's position not to divulge to them our reasons for apprehension with the Voultri visit. We would not want them to have information that might put their coven at risk and equally our relations with them no matter how strained it may be right now. Our kind doesn't often have social circles, but when we do, they are held dear."

"That's understandable." I tried to sound satisfied with his response but I could not help thinking about the fact that Tonya had called and not Katrina herself. Maybe it was vampire etiquette and contact should only happen with the head of the respective families? It made me wonder, if Edward had chosen to be with Tonya, would he have become the head of their family. If not the head of the family, what position would he have held with them? I gazed at him and saw him for more than his seventeen year old façade. If he led, I would follow. Edward would never intentionally do anything to jeopardize his family. No, that wasn't really true, he had brought me into the equation and it had only caused problems. Because of me, Edward made sacrifices and took risks, risks that if not for me would never have even been possible for him. I considered what his life would have been like if he had chosen Tonya. No special considerations of fragility, no down time for sleep, no suspicious begrudging family to deal with, surly no accident prone issues, and no limitations when it came to intimate moments. I felt my heart sink a little. For all the bad things I brought as baggage, I saw far more opportunities he could have with her and I had never even met her. I knew he loved me. I had felt his love for me and I loved him immeasurably, but his choice was like me trying to climb Mount Everest.

"Bella is there something else you want to know?" he asked, startling me out of my thoughts. I saw he was not smiling anymore. He had that look of beginning frustrations because he could not sift through my thoughts.

"Huh, why?"

"Because you're staring at me like you want to know something; but you're not sure if you should ask? It's fine, just ask me."

How was I supposed to ask him '_Yeah, Edward why was Tonya not your type? You know, she's a vampire already. That's a big plus and there would be no limitations with her. The Volturi wouldn't care and neither would anyone else_.' Wrong, I would care, but that was before me and it hadn't happened. That was Edward's past and he had a lot of past. There was no way I could ask him that. This was crazy. I was creating drama within myself. I looked down at my hands and there was the ring, Elizabeth's ring on my finger. He had placed it there himself. I was valuable to him. This was the last time I was going to consider things like this. I was getting married in a matter of weeks. After that and fulfillment of a few more negotiated factors, I would be all the things Tonya is plus one thing more. I was the one he chose.

I scrambled to think of a question. Remembering Carlisle talking about Katrina and being in range and seeing vampires in numbers. "Yes, what exactly is Katrina's gift? It sounded something like you had explained Dimitri could do but not, you know, like a tracker thing?"

"I suppose it could be considered like that but at a different level. She can pick a species, like vampires, and reach out to see shadows of their presence. Like the analogy that Jasper used once to explain populations of humans as red dots, remember? For Katrina she has a vast range of hundreds of miles but cannot differentiate individuals, like Emmett from myself; she sees only single shadows for each being of the species she is focused on. For hunting purposes, it is better than all my five senses combined. Her gift is not for tracking though because she would be thrown off track if she crossed the path of another of the same species. It does help them keep secure because she notices if others are coming near them, like Alice can do for us. She is their early alert system per say."

"Wow, so does Tonya or the others have gifts too?" I wasn't sure if my prying was out of line but I hoped I wasn't.

"Only Eleazar, his is a visual gift. If he has met someone and gets a feel for their visual synapses, he can focus himself to see what they see, to see through their eyes. I'm not sure what restrictions he has with his gift, if any. He does also have the ability to blind a person for as long as he chooses, but he told me once that this was very distressing for him to do. He did it once when he was defending himself and his wife, Carmen, against a newborn that thought they were a threat. He did it to survive, but the newborn's reaction was nothing he was prepared for. Eleazar is a very compassionate man and he has regretted this part of his gift ever since. Suffering is a hard thing to watch and even harder to impose, especially for those of us who choose our lifestyle."

"I see." I responded and then winced at my unconscionable pun. My reaction had him smiling again.

As Edward pulled up in front of my house I saw Charlie letting himself in the door. This was late for him to be getting home. I turned to Edward and saw him looking at Charlie intently. Edward's expression was reserved but somehow sympathetic.

"What? What's wrong?" I was missing something. Was someone in the house? Was my Dad walking into a death trap?

"Charlie's had a long evening Bella, and the outcome was not good. I don't think he will tell you about it but I think he could use your company right now."

I remembered that Charlie had been working an accident tonight. I could only assume that Edward heard in his thoughts that there were casualties. I leaned in kissing Edward and said "You'll be back later, right; and you'll tell me what you find out?"

"Yes I will" he answered.

When inside I saw Charlie standing at the kitchen sink peering out the window. He looked haggard and in deep thought. "Hey Dad, are you okay?" my voice startled him back to consciousness. Defensively he looked down and began to wash his hands in the sink.

"Yeah Bells, it was just a long night." He bent down splashing water on his face and rubbing his eyes.

"Do you want me to fix you something to eat?" I asked.

He turned toward me wiping his face and hands with the towel. "No, I'm not hungry. I think I'll just catch up on some scores and head off to bed."

"Okay, sure. I'll just be in my room checking my email." I was totally clueless how to help him. If it were mom she would spill her guts. I wouldn't have to say much until she was finished which could be up to an hour, sometimes more. Then I was usually able to give her advice in about two sentences and all would be good with the world until the next crisis. But with Charlie, I had no foundation to start with. Maybe he didn't need advice from his kid. What did Edward mean? How did Charlie need me now?

Charlie walked into the front room with defeated posture. Something was really bothering him. I threw away the note Edward had left on the table earlier and headed to the stairs. I looked in on Charlie. The TV was on, spouting out sports stats as usual but my Dad was focused on something else. He was staring at the television but it was easy to tell by the dazed look in his eyes that he wasn't paying attention to the announcers. I determined it was better to leave him alone to his thoughts.

Then, before I took the first step up to my room I said "Night Dad… I love you."

He looked up at me and with the warmest smile that deepened the wrinkles beside his eyes he said "I love you too Bells." It wasn't long after that I heard Charlie come upstairs and start the shower. He did just a he said and retreated to his room earlier than usual.

I lay on my bed watching the chaotic dance of spam boxes popping up on my computer screen. After a minute I got up and cleared the screen to get to my email icon. There were a couple of emails from Renee. She went on and on about how she had been in touch with Alice, how sweet, nice and wonderful Alice is, how Alice has the cleverest ideas and how she can't wait to meet Alice. There were a few bits about how she was excited to see me on the 5th and how she and Alice had some much to surprise me with. She closed each email with her quirky expressions of love and they made me laugh.

After that I lay on my bed listening to Edward's CD. At regular intervals I checked my clock on my bedside table awaiting his arrival. After about a half hour of this anxious waiting I got up and began pacing in front of my window. Glancing out often to capture any movements outside but 

there were none. I heard Charlie's snores and was relieved that he was getting much deserved sleep.

It was 10:45 when I looked at my clock again. I sighed loudly and walked the path back in front of my window. When I turned to repeat my path I collided right into his chest. "Well hello, are you a little impatient for my return?" his glossy tone was a relief to my fretting.

"Yes, of course, but I need to know something." I blurted this out quickly and then stopped, considering what I was about to ask to be sure I really wanted to know.

"Bella, let's sit down. Calm yourself. I am going to tell you all that Carlisle and I discussed. You needn't get all worked up about it. There really isn't much to tell."

We sat down on my bed beside one another and I had to clarify. "Yes, I want to hear that but there's something else." I turned and looked to my bedroom door, hearing the steady snores. I confirmed with myself for the last time, I really wanted to know. I faced Edward and began. "I know that you normally would not be comfortable with this. You said he wouldn't, but, well, what happened to Charlie tonight? Please tell me."

Edward scanned my face assessing my concern. I hoped that for me he would stray from his usual respect of other's privacy and enlighten me. "It was a fatality accident. The scene was pretty bad." He was editing out all the gory details that Charlie had not been able to avoid. "The driver of the minivan was following too close and ran into the back of the semi truck. The driver and a teenage boy in the passenger seat were killed. There was a young girl in the back that incurred some abdominal stress from her seat belt but she will recover." Edward waited for my reaction. I knew Charlie had worked a few other fatality accidents before. It was part of his job. These were before I ever came to live with him. I wondered if this was how he always reacted to this part of his career. Edward continued. "Charlie had to tell the parents. The driver was a grandparent. The boy was going to turn nineteen next week." Edward took my hand in his.

It wasn't the accident involving these people he never knew. It was me. He was considering his time with me. Was he considering what it would be like if he was the parent getting the news? These thoughts brought a sudden wave of nausea and guilt. I pulled my hand out of Edwards and turned away. I held my head in my hand, leaning forward to brace my elbow on my knee.

"Bella, I shouldn't have told you. I'm sorry." Edward said this as he knelt before me trying to look up into my face. He brushed my face with his hands until I was able to look up at him. His crisp touch eased the clamminess of my skin. "Are you okay? Should I get you something?"

"No, it's past, you told me because I asked. I wanted to know. I just never considered that stuff got to him. He's been a cop for like twenty years. I guess the kid being my age made him see it in a different light. It's good to know, to understand." I put my hand back in his and he returned to his place beside me. I needed to change the subject. "So, what did you and Carlisle come up with?"

"Nothing you didn't already hear before. Carlisle is confident that Dimitri and Jane have left the region."

"He didn't tell them about the pack helping out? He wouldn't say anything to them about that would he?"

"No, Bella. Carlisle made the treaty. He would never inform on them as they agreed to equal discretions for us."

"Yes, of course. Well what was that other thing she couldn't identify?"

"I've no idea. Without knowing the range of species she is familiar with there is no way of knowing what new creature has wandered into the area. Carlisle felt that she did not see it as a threat and had no more than a passing glance." Edward spoke with casual inference.

"But what if it was only unfamiliar to them?"

"What are you getting at Bella?"

"Jacob."


	14. Chapter 13 Mortality

**Mortality**

My last two days at Newton's were uneventful. I finished up the remnants of the inventory on Sunday and spent the rest of my shift behind the register. Mr. Newton was there on Monday and expressed how nice it was to having me as an employee. He asked about my plans for college and I lied with well rehearsed answers. I knew I was convincing because he assured me that if I ever wanted to come back and work over breaks, that he would be glad to have me back. It felt good to know that the expectations of at least one adult in my life had turned out to be what they expected.

Over the next several days Charlie's attitude changed little. He was more reserved than usual. I caught him a couple of times staring at me when he thought I wasn't looking. He never asked about my plans for the day or even what was going to be for dinner. He answered when I asked him things and spoke only about general stuff, work, weather and tidbits of gossip. I was concerned about him but not comfortable bringing it up. If it were Renee, there would be a lot of talk, mostly by her and then a resolve. Fortunately Renee would never have a job where the work could end with deaths.

I tried to picture in my head, Charlie on the doorstep and the family opening the door. They would see this officer in his uniform and immediately think the worst. Did anyone ever consider what the officer would see? You hear all the tragic stories about the police or military coming to the door, the bearers of bad news; you can't help but pity the family. Does anyone ever pity the messenger? What did Charlie see from his side of the door? '_Mr. and Mrs. Parents? I'm so sorry to be the one to tell you this. There was an accident this afternoon and your son was fatality injured.'_ The parents would turn to each other and console one another. Who did Charlie have to console him? Sure he probably didn't know the kid but did that really matter. This was a kid that had only lived almost 19 years. He just wanted to spend time with his grandparents and then go home to whatever was normal for him. He didn't ask for his life to be over.

Maybe to Charlie I was that kid. I hadn't thought about how rapid my life was changing in his eyes and even more so in my eyes. In the year and a half that I have lived with him I only pushed the limits a few times, but when I did, I pushed them all the way to the wall. He was there to pick me up, push me back towards my friends in the real world and ground me when I went too far (all the way to Italy). He was the Dad, this was his job and soon his job would change. Was he seeing the mortality of our relationship as father and daughter? Soon I would be Edward's wife. Okay, it was hard enough being the Sheriff's daughter now I was going to be labeled wife. Okay Bella, back away from the labels and think of the perks. There were no perks for Charlie because after the wedding comes the honeymoon and then off to college never to return. He had no idea of the last part. If he did know, would he be just like I was last fall or would it be worse. It couldn't be worse. I couldn't let it be worse. I needed to let him know, really know how much I care about him and appreciate him.

"Hey Dad, are you busy tonight? I thought maybe we could go to the lodge for dinner, my treat." Maybe if I confronted him in a public place where he could see other stable people it would bring him out of his funk.

"Oh Bells, you don't have to spend your money to go out to eat. I can give you a break and make dinner here or we can get take out. You should save your money for school."

"No Dad, I want to. Just you and me, what do you say?"

"Well, okay, if that's what you want."

"It is. It will be good for us to get out of this house." Maybe it was my time to step up and show my Dad that I am big enough to handle mature issues. That I am an adult in more ways than just age. I just wanted to tell him, assure him that he didn't need to worry about me. I had an eternal bodyguard who loved me as much as he did. A bodyguard more resilient than my dad could ever imagine. His worry was such an unnecessary burden, but I was not allowed to release him from it.

As we drove to The Lodge in Charlie's patrol car the talk was polite and empty. I started by asking him about his day. "It was fine, nothing exciting." I waited to see if he was going to elaborate but got nothing more from him. I tried to put myself in his shoes. So many people have told me how much I am like my dad. How would I feel being interrogated by him? Words like defensive, exposed and vulnerable came to mind. I felt if it were me I would appreciate the direct approach, just come out and get it over with. The coward in me decided it would better to wait until after he had a full stomach.

I changed the subject "So did you hear that Alice made plans for Mom and Phil to come up a little early and stay in Port Angeles? Mom and Alice have been having a _good_ time corresponding about plans for the wedding."

"I knew Alice was making arrangements for them but I never asked more about it. I bet you're excited to see your Mom. When are they coming?" He was participating in the conversation but I could tell his heart was not in it.

"Tuesday the 11th. Alice has a whole itinerary of things we can do if we want to. She made sure plans were optional. She thought Port Angeles would have more things that Mom would like to do. You know shopping, pedicures and a tour to one of the wineries. I'm not so sure about the winery though. Do you think you could get away from work and hang out with us? I understand if you can't but maybe just a little bit?" I tried to put on a pouty face and big puppy dog eyes.

I got a small laugh from him. "You look ridiculous when you do that you know? It is not typical Bella. It looks forced and weird." I had to laugh too because I could just imagine how contorted and clown like my face had to look.

"Okay, no more facial ploys but will you think about it?"

"Sure, sure, I bet I can find a little time to spend with you, Renee and Phil." It sounded weird when he said Phil; not like he said it weird but, for me, to hear him include Phil along with himself. I was sad for him that mom had Phil and he had no one but me. He added after a brief pause "For you Bella, I will find time."

When we got to The Lodge I asked the hostess if we could have a booth. She must have read my mind. She seated us in one in a semi secluded corner. For a Friday night the place was only about half full. We ordered. I kept up the small talk about how Alice was having a great time and in her element with all the arrangements.

"I know. Wednesday morning she stopped by the station. If that girl had wings I bet she could fly." Thinking about Alice made him smile.

"Why was she at the station?" I asked suspiciously.

"Um, oh I don't see the big deal in telling you. She brought my tux, if that's what you want to call it. To be sure it fit right." The roll of his eyes confirmed how ridiculous he probably thought he looked.

"Why, what's wrong with the tux? They're just supposed to be regular grey tux." I really needed to pin down some of these details and stop everything being sprung on me.

"It is grey and really, really nice. Like high end stuff, but it makes me feel like I'm in costume for a movie. Like one of those period movies you see on Masterpiece Theater. It's probably just me. The collar was tight and kind of high, but probably needs to be that way for the bow tie. What do I know? Those monkey suits aren't real common around here. I'm sure Alice knows what she's doing."

"Well, did she say it fit right? If it was too tight you should have told her. I can tell her if you don't want to hurt her feelings. I'm sure she won't take it that way Dad." I never thought about how uncomfortable this would be for him. He started to blush a little and he had a hint of a grin on his face. I was confused. "What? You want to say something. I can tell."

"You know Alice, she just went on and on about how I looked. She said I should dress up more often. In Forks, Washington, really once in a lifetime is plenty." I could imagine how Alice went on and on. It made me laugh too.

"Didn't you wear a tuxedo when you married mom?" I realized I had never seen a wedding picture of them. There was the picture of us together at the hospital the day I was born but I couldn't remember a formal picture of the two of them."

"No, I wore a suit I had. It was a small affair with a Justice of the Peace. We couldn't afford to spend much on a wedding, but your mom made it real nice. She was so beautiful. I remember she wore baby's breath in her hair like a halo." He grew quiet, reveling in his memories.

The waitress brought our salads and entrée's. We joked about how Emmett would look in a tux like the one Alice had my dad put on. He joked it would be more like a gorilla suit rather than a monkey suit. There was a discernable respect for Emmet's intimidating stature. As we ate, Charlie gave several long stares my way. I smiled when I caught his look and he gave a saddened half smile back. When we finished eating I sat back strengthening my resolve. I wiped my mouth, put my napkin in the middle of my plate and very purposefully placed my hands on the table. "Dad, we need to talk."

He looked confused and a little wary. "I thought we were talking."

"About you, you've been kind of sad lately. Are you okay? I'm worried about you." If his hands would have been on the table I would have reached out and held one. I saw this done a lot on TV and in the movies, to show how much you care. In a way I was glad I couldn't. Talking about this was hard enough.

"Yes, I suppose I have been. It's just been real great having you around, kid. I knew you would be going off to college. I'm so proud that you are. I'm just going to miss you. This is going to sound weird, but I never got to spend a whole lot of time with you Bella. I feel like there should be a whole lot of things I should be saying to you that I haven't said over the years. When I look at you though, I get nothing. In a strange way I'm sure that you know what you're doing is right. Edward is a good person. I do see how much he loves you. Sometimes I think he stops breathing when you leave the room. He seems more adult than some adults I know and deal with. You chose well. I know you will be safe and happy with him. Really, that is all I can ask for."

This went way easier than I hoped for. Now it was my turn for a little, and I mean little honesty. "Thanks Dad, that means so much to me. I'm glad I came to live with you. I'm glad most of all that you are my Dad. Edward has a lot of respect for you, you know? He's a good man and I will 

forever, be happy with him, but remember, I loved you first because you're my Dad." I couldn't believe I said that last part. It was so corny. I just knew I blew it. I felt my face turning crimson. I looked up expecting to see him stunned at my goofiness. Instead I saw a tear in his eye and a little wiggle of his nose. He rushed his hand to his mouth, playing like he was clearing his throat. The waitress came just then leaving the bill. I quickly grabbed for it and went for my purse trying to defuse my own awkwardness.

When we stood to leave, Charlie put his arm around me and pulled me close to him. I put my arm around his back leaning my head against his shoulder. He was smiling, really smiling in a big way. On the way home we laughed a lot. Dad and I tried to predict some of the demands that Renee might have made that Alice would have to tactfully dodge to keep the wedding respectable. Every time he looked my way he smiled and sometimes nodded. I felt better. He was getting back to a good place and I actually helped.

I was already in bed reading Leaves of Grass when Edward came through my window. I set the book down and smiled up at him. I was glad to see him but I was still riding my cloud of self satisfaction.

"Well Hello, you seem to be in high spirits. Care to share?" The sound of his voice just heightened my elation.

"Like you don't already know," I implied.

"I'd rather hear your version." He sat on the bed and put his arm around me. Resting against him made me very content. I was feeling this more often and pictured a room full of brides all feeling the same way. Was this what being a bride felt like? When I hadn't said anything he brushed my hair behind my ear to see my face. "You're smiling because…"

"I'm happy."

"Because…" his prompting made his impatience evident.

"…Because my Dad and I had a nice dinner. Because I think I helped him feel better; because our talk made me feel better; because you are here and better yet, because I love you."

"Good. I'm very pleased you are happy." His comment sounded so silly to me that I had to stifle a giggle. I went to reach around him and had to stop when the bulky cast would not cooperate.

"I hate this thing. It's been a week and a half. How much longer? It doesn't hurt anymore, it just itches." Saying this brought on a sensation of prickles on my hand and wrist. I reached down beside my bed and retrieved a pen I kept nearby for just this problem. I stuck the innocuous end down the palm side of my cast for relief.

"Don't laugh. It's not funny, just very annoying."

"I'm sure it is. Carlisle said two weeks. We can check with him. It will be two weeks on Wednesday.

"Wednesday is great, perfect. I know I'm available. I can't wait." Okay I was laying it on a little thick but in all honesty I meant every word. This evening was turning out better than I had anticipated.

"Bella, I need to tell you something; but you need to hear everything I have to say before you react." My heart dropped. My elation was squashed. This was going to be bad, I just knew it. I bolted upright to face him and check his expression. He was calm but serious. He placed his hands on my shoulders reassuringly. "This is nothing bad. I know you have already suspected it is. Sam 

called Carlisle today. The Quileute council requested that he contact us. They only wanted to know if more visitations from our kind are eminent. Carlisle told them that we did not suspect any future activity but that the lines of communication remain open if we should notice any change." He raised the back of his hand to brush my cheek.

"Oh, alright, thank you for telling me." I wanted to ask if Sam mentioned anything about Jacob but I didn't want to put Edward in the middle. It wasn't fair to him. I would have to handle the Jacob thing on my own. Billy said to give him some time. I figured Sam would not volunteer any information on Jacob anyway. I was positive I was on the top of his list of least desirable people. So I pursed my lips together and nodded my head like I was satisfied with the information. I kept eye contact with Edward raising my eyebrows trying to appear positive.

"Bella, I'm sorry, he didn't say anything about Jacob." Edward's eyes were sympathetic and pleading; almost like he wanted me to talk about this with him.

"I don't expect he would. You know all things considered." I was trying to be strong but it was getting hard to maintain my composure. Edward pulled me to him and tenderly embraced me. He kissed my head and smoothed my hair with his hand. "He will come around. You're too good of a friend to lose." In my mind I was losing. I was holding on to the thinnest thread of hope that after I changed I would still have Jacob. I must have been delusional. Every time I remembered our talk in his room, I would pick out the things he said that would convince me of his loyalty to me; that I would always have a leash on him.

A leash on him, I was horrible. Jacob was not a pet to be kept. What was I thinking? Maybe it was better that he took off. Had I become Catherine? I was getting Edward forever. Was I hoping to drag Jacob along through all eternity too? This was a bigger act of selfishness than even Catherine could ever hope to achieve. If, in the passing of centuries, I became bored would I be so cruel as to pit one against the other? I tilted my head to look up into his amber eyes. I was searching for the reassurance that I was not that person. When his chilled lips came to rest on my forehead, I felt warmth growing inside my chest. I could never do that to Edward, Jacob or any one. I would never use someone, at least not intentionally. This was senseless. I would be patient and wait. Jacob would forgive me, it was his turn.


	15. Chapter 14 Bonding

**Bonding**

I stared at the rain streaking the windows. This day was exactly like the one when Charlie came to pick me up in Port Angeles. A roll of thunder came from above. That first day I dreaded this dreary dismal weather, but since finding love my perspective had changed. My reasons for appreciating greyer skies was sitting beside me, driving the car. We were on our way to pickup my mom at the air port. Phil had some unexpected things come up with his physical therapy and made arrangements to come up Friday.

I was excited and apprehensive to see Renee. It had only been a couple of months ago when Edward and I went to visit them in Florida. The weather there was heavy, humid and amazingly bright, which was the norm. Today's weather was the norm for the Pacific Northeast; one of the reasons Renee had to escape with me when I was a baby. I knew this atmosphere would dampen her spirits but it would make it a lot easier for my future in-laws to remain inconspicuous and able to participate in our prenuptial activities.

I saw the signs for the Fairchild International Airport and felt a bit anxious. I was wringing my hands and unconsciously running my hand up and down my right forearm. It had been about a week since I had my cast taken off. Luckily my pale complexion left little skin variation where the cast once was. Alice had given me some fancy named lotion that she requested I apply twice a day. "You want your skin to look good for your photos, don't you?" Alice chided. My dress had long sleeves. Yes, they were shear but who would ever tell. I had learned very quickly that it was easier just to do what Alice asked, when it wasn't too unreasonable, rather than making it a point of contention.

"You're not nervous, are you Bella?" Edward asked.

"Excited, eager, nervous, all of the above; take your pick." I answered kind of rambling. In just minutes we would be at the airport waiting in the terminal for my mom. Through all the emails and phone conversations my mom was supportive, but to look her in the eyes and see her reaction would speak volumes to me. My mom was never one to lie to me. It was common for her to speak her mind. She could mask her intentions well, when she felt the need, with most people but not me.

"It's just your mother, Bella. From now until Saturday, this time is just for you to be with her. She loves you, wants you to be happy and possibly knows you better than anyone. It will be fine." He reached over grabbing my hand and brought it to his lips.

It made me wonder what Elizabeth was like. What she would have thought of Renee? Aside from the many decades between them, I knew the love for their children would be the cement that would have united them. Then I wondered if my mother still really knew me as well as she once had. I never really had secrets from her before. Now I had life altering ones that would never be meant for purely human ears.

I smiled moving closer to him so I could rest my head on his shoulder. This was a two part tactic on my part. One, being closer to Edward usually seemed to ground me and help me to think more clearly. Two, it made it harder for him to keep looking at me, assessing and assuming my thoughts by the expressions on my face. I began to plan what I would say first. _Mom, I'm so glad you're here. I've really missed you._ Ewe, no, of course she's here. I'm getting married. What mother wouldn't be here if she could be? Yes, I did miss her but it still sounded corny because I saw her less than two months ago. In the last month 

alone, I spoke with her at least three times a week, mostly in emails but a couple of times on the phone. I understood that my missing her was coming from a deeper place within me. This was for the separation to come. I wasn't going to think about that now. There had to be a better resolve but I just kept coming up empty. Again I pledged to table these thoughts till after the wedding. It became obvious there was no need to plan what to say. This was my mom. She would be the one to say something first. I always tended to over think things.

The terminal came into view and we parked the car. Armed with three umbrellas, we sat just outside the Kenmore Air gate. Alice told us she would arrive right on time. She did. She was dressed in a yellow sun dress with a loose knit button up sweater over her shoulders. Alice had told me to bring one of my hoodies and now I knew why. Renee was forever the optimist that things would be the way she imagined they would be. If she only knew Alice like I did, she would have known to wear jeans and something with sleeves.

The very minute I saw her descend the steps from the plane and cross the tarmac I was her little girl again. I couldn't wait to hug her when she came through the gate. Edward smiled the whole time as he watched us together in the terminal.

"So, you are soon to be Isabella Marie Cullen. My baby has grown up and now she is going to be a wife. Are you ready for all this?" Renee asked pulling me close. This was the moment I had been waiting for. I looked up at the one woman who totally adored me. If she had any doubts about my choices I would be able to see it. Her green eyes were jovial. Her cheeks were pink and tense with a grand smile on her face. She was in her element. She was happy for me. There was no simpler way to describe it.

"Mom, I'm ready, ready for it all. I'm so glad you're here. You should see the place where Alice made your reservations."

"Yes, where is she? I was hoping she would be here. She is a lovely girl and such a good friend for you. Oh, and soon she'll be your sister, by law, of course."

"Yes, of course. She's going to meet us at the Lodge. She went to check you in and put some of my things in the cottage. She's been really great. She's done all the work, better than I ever would."

"Bella, don't short change yourself. I do have to admit though, that child is amazing. She could organize a country into a parade if she put her mind to it. I bet she goes like ninety miles an hour and never stops till she drops. Am I right?"

"Yes, she never stops. You're absolutely right," if she only knew.

As we walked out of the terminal, the rain began to pickup. Edward quickly sheltered us under the umbrellas. "I hope it doesn't rain like this on Saturday. I'm sure it would be too much to hope for sun." Renee said with distaste in her tone.

"Mom, it doesn't matter. The ceremony is inside and the reception will be under a very large tent." I was sure she was aware of this and just needing to state her continuing dislike for the weather here.

Once we got Renee's bags loaded into the car, she and I got in the back seat. She began the onslaught unleashing her mother of the bride excitement. First she went on about the invitations and how elegant they were. She told me how she and Alice have been in contact every day for the past three weeks. Most of the wedding details she rambled on about were ones she had already told me about in emails. This was of no concern because I 

wasn't fully listening to what she was saying but hearing how jubilant she was to be sharing all this with me. She was smiling and very animated. A couple of time she even giggled.

When we pulled up to the cottage, a shocked look came across my mother's face. There, parked in the spot beside Edward's Volvo, was Alice's bright yellow Porsche. I knew she was making trips to Port Angeles and Olympia every chance she could get; any excuse to drive her most prized possession. Being the wedding planner, she was able to come up with plenty of reasons. I could only imagine and hope that whatever she was doing inside was kept to a minimum.

"My goodness, there are definitely benefits to having a doctor for a father isn't there." Renee's implication caught me off guard. I hadn't thought about her reaction to the fancy car. I had seen a few like them when we visited Florida, but most certainly it was out of place in this region of the country.

"Yes, Carlisle is very trusting of Alice." Edward spoke up smiling at me to play along. "These kind of cars need to be driven regularly and with Carlisle's hours at the hospital. Well, let's just say Alice volunteers often." It always amazed me how Edward's harmonious voice could be so convincing. I would let him lie to me for hours as long as he told me the truth later.

The atmosphere inside the cottage was inviting. Alice had started a fire in the hearth. She had a deck of cards and a few board games sitting on the coffee table. Alice danced across the floor and threw her arms around Renee, careful not to directly touch her skin with her own. "Mrs. Dwyer, it is a great pleasure to finally meet you, face to face. I have so much to show you and so much planned for us to do." My mom was laughing and hugged back like they were old friends.

"Alice, let them get in the door first." Edward reprehended. He brought in the bags setting them near the bedroom door.

"No, its fine dear, but please call me Renee."

"Yes, of course, Renee." Alice affirmed. "Well, I thought you could get unpacked and then I can show you my itinerary for your approval. I do need to fit Bella in her dress one last time. I just knew you would want to see her in it."

Alice was laying it on a little thick. I couldn't help but roll my eyes and shake my head. I felt the cool touch of Edward's hand nestle into mine and gave a gentle squeeze.

"Yes, well, the sooner I unpack the sooner we can get started." Renee was absolutely giddy. I couldn't help but laugh at her excitement as she dashed into her room towing one of her bags.

Edward and Alice exchanged keys. He announced loudly and conspicuously, "Alice, I will take Dad's car home. You can use mine. It has more room for all of you." I thought I was playing a part in a bad sitcom. In reality, this was all for Renee's benefit. She was so wrapped up in the moment I really don't think she was noticing.

Still holding my hand, Edward walked me out to the Porsche. I slid in between him and the driver's door. "You have to leave so soon? Will you be back?" I was hopeful because I was mildly intimidated by the overly eager personalities I was destined to be confined with.

"No, Alice is staying though. Emmett, Jasper and I are going north. We'll be back Friday morning."

"What about Alice?" I asked. I hadn't bothered to notice how her eyes were looking. When I glanced at her standing in the door, it was clear she was satiated. Her eyes glistened like golden gems.

"Carlisle, Esme, Rose and Alice have been gone the last two days. She wanted to be back today to revel in her part as maid of honor." He pushed my hair back behind my ear, brushing my cheek with his fingers stopping at the corner of my mouth. "Alice is staying the nights too. I will miss you. However, I believe the saying is absence makes the heart grow fonder. It will only be a day and a half. Just enjoy your time with Renee." He leaned in, pinning me against the car. Our lips met and I reached up to clasp my hands around his neck. He locked his hands behind my back. The mist outside was turning into drizzle again. I pictured steam rolling off of us with every moment of our passionate embrace.

Edward sighed and kissed me on my forehead. "I need to go." My shoulders dropped. "Your mother is watching us from the window." I stiffened and blushed. I couldn't get my hand to my face fast enough to hide my embarrassment. "Don't be embarrassed, she thinks it's romantic."

Okay, Renee might think its romantic but she was still my mom, who was spying on me. Well, maybe not spying. We were out in public for all to see. Still it's just one of those things you don't want your parents thinking about their kids.

The rest of the day was spent fitting my dress and going through the two volume spiral notebooks of wedding details. Renee said my dress made me look like a fairytale bride, whatever that was. I preferred to think of my dress as something that would make Elizabeth impressed and accepting of me. Renee and Alice spent an hour and a half going over every page of the wedding details. I fabricated a headache and went to lie down in my mom's room. I grabbed my copy of Dante's Divine Comedy without a glance from either of them.

I opened my book and began reading. I was advised to read it straight through without considering the author's time or background. That was my intention. It was a complex read but it kept my attention. I made it through Cantos 5 and had to stop. After reading about the perils of Francesca and Paolo condemned within the second circle of hell for their sin of passion, I began to contemplate the lack of forgiveness for sins. Francesca misunderstood when she was betrothed to Giancotto. She thought she was to be married to his brother Paolo. After spending more time with Paolo and reading the love story of Lancelot and Guinevere together, they fell in love. When her husband catches them together he slays them both. It was tragic. They were damned for acting on their love. I was confused. She never loved her husband. Due to situations beyond her control, there was no other way for her to be with the one she loved. Was there no forgiveness for choosing to have true love?

I considered my own situation. I was very much in love with Edward, but there was love for another. Had I sinned in loving two? After considering, I convinced myself the answer was no; because the two loves were different. I knew who I loved the most and forever. It was still heartless of me to let my love for Jacob be known to him, but that wasn't 

my fault either. He should have just let me remain deluded. He brought this on himself. This was all, his fault. Okay now I was lying to myself. I knew there was very little truth in this argument. I had more fault than Jacob did. If I were to die, would Minos judge my soul for my sins of love? Where was Jacob, away somewhere in his own personal second circle of hell? My guilt made my stress rise and my head pound. I decided the Divine Comedy should be saved until a time when more of my personal issues were resolved. From the way things looked right now, I thought that would be a while.

Before bed, we watched a piece on the travel channel about great hiking destinations. It was very tourist geared, spoking about foot paths and trails. It made me miss Edward. Alice chuckled and leaned in close enough where only I could hear her. "Yes, but most people never go deep enough off the beaten path to see the really amazing stuff. Most of it comes out at night." Yeah, like a vampire taking down a mountain lion. In a sadistic kind of proud way it made me smile.

"Well girls, it's late. Alice has a lot for us to do tomorrow, weather permitting. I will see you both in the morning but not too early." Early for Renee was a little later than Charlie on a workday, but still before any time that I would want to get up.

We watched for a little longer. Just as I was about to push the power button on the remote, a commercial for Cadillac came on the screen. For several days after my trip to Olympia, Edward was monitoring newspapers, television and Alice for any connection that indicated my encounter needed attention. There was nothing. I actually had convinced myself that I had acquired the overactive imagination. So I saw someone in a hooded robe that was looking at me from all the way across a parking lot. It really meant nothing, but seeing this car on the screen, right now, started a renewed panic.

As we sat in our beds, I noticed Alice had retrieved a couple of stacks of magazines from her bag. For her, this would be a little light reading to pass the time while we slept. "Do you mind if I borrow one, Alice? I'm not quite tired yet?" She smiled and happily tossed one my way. Perfect, it was a celebrity gossip magazine. For the next twenty minutes or so I immersed myself in the lives and trials of people I didn't know, trying to believe that their problems and accomplishments were far greater than my own. Some of it even made me laugh. When it became difficult to keep my eyes open, I laid down. "Alice, would you do something for me?"

"Of course Bella, what do you need?"

"If I start talking, you know in my sleep, about things that need to remain confidential, don't think twice about waking me up. Okay? I wouldn't want Renee to hear."

"Sure Bella, but I don't see that it will be necessary. It looks like Renee is a very sound sleeper. Just get your rest. The bride needs to stay fresh for tomorrow." She chimed with saccharine elation.

I awoke the next morning and Alice was gone. I did not readily recollect any dreams during slumber. I would need to be sure and ask Alice when I could get her alone again. As I rubbed my eyes, I heard the bedroom door open and Renee crossed the room towards me.

"Good morning sleepy head. Did you get plenty of beauty sleep?" she teased.

"Right, mom, where's Alice?"

"She went to the lodge to get breakfast for us. She'll be back shortly."

I swung my feet out from under the covers and contemplated how cold the wood floor would be. Alice had kept the fire going all night which kept the room very comfortable. While I was gathering my things to get ready, I felt like I was being appraised. When I turned around, Renee was sitting on the arm of the couch watching me. She looked like she was considering something but not sure what to do about it. I thought I would give her a little prod "What is it mom? Is something wrong?"

"No, no, not with me, but how are you doing Bella?"

"I'm fine mom. What makes you think something is wrong with me?" Did she hear me say something in the time that Alice had left to the moment I woke up? Alice would have seen something like that happening. She would not have let that happen. Edward and I did nothing yesterday to imply anything other than lover's bliss, I was sure.

"How's Jacob Bella? Charlie told me he went to go stay with his sister for a while. I know you invited him, but did things with him go sour? Do you want to talk about it?"

For a second I thought I should just say no thanks and clam up, but this was my mom. I really didn't expect to get some profound bit of advice about the situation but I desparately wanted to talk with her about it. I walked to the couch and flopped down with a sigh.

"He took off the day he got the invitation. Mom, he knew we were engaged but I guess I pushed him too far. I miss him and I don't know how to make it better with him."

"Sometimes it just takes time. If he's a real friend, he'll come around. Things have ways of working themselves out." She grinned like she was so proud of herself. I wondered if she had been collecting clichés for this very moment. She meant every word of it though with sincerity. In her own way, she was trying hard to be the support I always was for her.

I stood up and hugged her tightly. "Thanks mom. You're the best. I really needed to hear that." It wasn't much but for me it was enough.

Edward was back on Friday. He had retrieved Phil from the airport and brought him to the cottage just as we were coming back from the nail salon. Alice had gone to check us out while Edward loaded our things into the cars. Now that Phil was here, Renee and Phil would spend their final nights at the Kalaloch lodge in Forks. I was actually eager to get back home to familiar scenery. Edward drove Carlisle's Mercedes this time. Again he exchanged keys with Alice. There was more room for Phil to stretch out his legs in the backseat. I could sympathize with him. Braces were not very forgiving.

Edward and I headed back in the Volvo. I became aware of how much I missed total silence. Being around Renee and Alice in their excited state meant there was constant conversation. "Did you enjoy your time with Renee?" Edward asked.

"Yes, we had fun. Alice kept us busy." I replied and yawned.

"You're tired. You've had some restless nights. Did you have more bad dreams?" He implied.

"Not that I recall, probably just restless from sleeping in a strange bed." Then I added. "…and not having you there with me." I smiled at him playfully.

He brushed the hair off my cheek. "I missed you too." He took my hand and as he always did, brought it to his lips, kissing it and savoring my aroma. He did not let go the whole way back to Forks. "Do you need to go home to eat or maybe sleep?"

I considered his suggestion and apathetically replied "I guess so."

Edward, sensing my apprehension, pulled the car to the side of the road. "Bella, what do you really want to do? Please be honest with me and honest with yourself."

I continued my thoughts out loud. "Tomorrow is going to be…a big day for us both. I really wish there was somewhere we could just go be unnoticed, undisturbed, where it's quiet. Some place to just enjoy the quiet, together." My response seemed to give Edward relief. He pulled the car back out onto the road. He had a look of contentment and satisfaction.

"Is that all? Our house is nearly deserted. Emmett and Jasper are still away. Carlisle's at work. Rose and Esme won't bother us."

"There's not a bunch of people there? You know, setting things up for tomorrow. I can't imagine that Alice would have missed all of that."

"No. Alice hasn't missed anything."

I remembered back to my graduation party and the over the top transformation of the Cullen house. I should know better. When we got to the house, it looked the same as it always did. Edward did not drive the car to the garage out back. When we walked in the front door, the house still remained the same as I had always seen it. I had mixed emotions. I was confused, relieved, worried and guilt ridden. I was happy the house was quiet and it seemed that we were alone, but I had seen Alice's plans for tomorrow. The undertaking to have everything in place would be enormous. I tried to calculate the hours it would take to get everything in order. How would it all get done by tomorrow afternoon? Did she need us to help her? "The wedding is tomorrow, right?" I asked.

"Of course, don't concern yourself with that. It will be fine." Edward led me upstairs with my bag in tow. When we got to his room, I flopped myself face down on his bed. This made him laugh. I peeked up at him and patted the bed beside me. He stalked up to the bed and slid up to lie next to me. I snuggled close to him putting my arm across him to keep him from escaping. After tomorrow, this would be every night for me, for eternity. He began to hum and I lost myself in his melody.


	16. Chapter 15 Concern

**Concern**

Pack

"Man, I can't believe he doesn't want to talk to us." Sure, in the love department, I was a little short in experience but I was his best friend. Well Quill and I were his best friends. I checked with Sam again yesterday to see if Jacob was talking to him. I think my questions are starting to wear on him. Whenever we're on duty as wolves, the first thing we do is check to see if he is there. He's there but his human spirit is dim.

"Dude, what more do you think you could do? You can't make him listen. You know he probably hears us right now. Right, Jake?" Quill was always the optimist. Jake was silent.

"You know Jake, if you can hear me, this really sucks. I'm really sorry you're bummed out, but seriously, get over it. We need you man." I wasn't saying anything he didn't already know. He was still silent. Then he was gone.

"Great, now you did it. He phased out. Now he couldn't hear us even if he wanted to." Quill said.

"Well, at least he's still phasing. At least he hasn't settled on being a wolf forever." The legends made it clear this was a possibility but the finer details were a little lacking. All of us wondered how many more wolf surprises there could be. It was a huge surprise when Leah joined the pack. Then, soon after it, became a major disappointment. That girl has as many issues as Bella does. Those two should start a support group. I had to laugh at the thought of this. If you put these two in a room, Leah would have Bella for lunch, but then again her blood suckers would never let that happen.

"Embry, I can't believe you. Bella is nothing like Leah. Yeah, I'll admit she's pretty strange and possible sadistic for liking those leeches but she's not intentionally on self destruct like Leah is. Do you think she's really considering what she said the other day at the meeting? You know, about not wanting to be part of the pack. I couldn't imagine not being a part of it. It's the best thing ever." Quill said with enthusiasm.

"I don't know. Who can figure out girls? Let alone werewolf girls. Boy, did our forefathers really want to test us with this one." Yeah, I had some personal animosity for Leah. Before she came along, no one cared whose parents were who's. It didn't matter that Jacob's blood line should have made him the pack leader but he chose to rescind, leaving it up to Sam. Did she not understand that we basically all carried the same blood? Sam said that Leah had nothing to do with Jacob's leaving, but I still wondered. The way that girl could stir up a pot of trouble.

"Man, these patrols are so boring now. Not even a left over track of one of those rogue vamps. I know Sam talked to the doctor leech and they seem to think for the time being we are free and clear, but man it was cool taking them down." Quill said with reminiscence.

"Remember what Sam says though, we have a job to do. We did our job then and now this is the result, normal everyday life." I continued to walk the line north while Quill walked south. Our noses scanning the air and our ears alert to every noise. "Quill, you ever wonder why our pack is so big?"

"I just figured we're lucky or maybe because our tribe has gotten bigger or just the human population in general has grown. I don't know. What do you think?" he replied.

"You remember the story about when the Cullens first came here. There were only three in the pack then. There were always no more than three in the pack. Remember the legends remind 

us that the leeches always came in singles or pairs, never more until the Cullens. Do you think the pack stayed at three because Ephraim made the treaty and trusted the leeches?" I asked him.

"Oh, I don't know that I ever really thought about it. What other reason could there be?"

"Well, I was thinking about how they don't consume human blood and that whole yellow eyes thing. What if the fact that they don't eat humans is the reason the tribe didn't grow. Think about it. First there was Sam, Paul and Jared, that's the three. Then remember what Bella told Jacob about having to run away to Phoenix trying to get away from that human drinking leech. The one they say her boyfriend killed. His mate was running all over Forks trying to get information for him. That would have been about the time that we started growing, remember?" I needed to get this all out to see if Quill saw it the way I did.

"Yes I remember. My mom was so mad. She bought me two new pairs of jeans and in a couple of weeks they were too small. She was grateful for the spring and shorts weather. I remember I went from wearing shoes to flip flops because they were cheaper. Oh wait, that was after I changed. So what you're saying is, it's not so much the fact that the Cullens are back that made the pack larger, but the fact they lured in the blood drinking vamps. That's what did it?"

"Yeah, exactly, the first time there were five of them and the pack was three. They all had the yellow eyes and the treaty was in place. The pack remained at three. Two years ago the Cullens returned but this time there was seven of them all with yellow eyes. The pack came about and there were three of us. You, me and Jake, didn't start to grow and change until the blood eyes came around. Do you see where I'm going? I think it's the blood eyes that trigger the rapid changes and new pack members." I had been considering this for a couple of days. The more I thought about it, the more I was convinced I was right. "I wish Jake hadn't signed off."

"It does make sense, but it really doesn't matter now anyway. Won't they be leaving for good? She's going to marry that leech tomorrow. Then maybe after they leave, Jake will be okay to come back." Quill rationalized.

"It does matter. You know someday when Claire is your wife you might decide to stop phasing and grow old with her." I began to clarify.

"Well, sure, so what about it?"

"Let's say you and Claire have kids someday. Heck if any of us have kids. If their kids have kids. They need to know this. It could help in determining future threats as opposed to visits from yellow eyes. They will need to know and the generations after them. Look at what that red head did. Look at all the rogue vamps she made. The more blood eyes, the more werewolves."

"Yeah, but she made those to get back at the Cullens."

"Quill it was still a risk to our people, to all people. Not all of us are as comfortable with being a wolf as you are. There are draw backs. Do you think any of us could just go off to college and act like anyone else? Those blood eyes are like nomads. They move around and keep to the shadows. Where would you phase so no one would see you? How would you hunt vamps through city streets? Better yet, how even would the fight be, one on one? Remember those newborn vamps. We took each one on as a team, no solo work. Look what going solo did for Leah and Jake."

"Yeah Embry, your right, I see your point."

"So do you think you could run it by your grandfather and get his opinion? I really think I have something." I hoped I wasn't overstepping my place by not going through Sam but it made more sense to have Quill relay it.

"Sure, no problem, I can do it during lunch tomorrow. I'll call you and tell you what he says." Quill was always so agreeable. "So where do you think Jake is at now?"

"Sam says he's hanging out in some of the national parks straight north in Canada. I told him I would be willing to try to talk to him or just be there for him and listen, but if Jake won't talk there isn't much for me to listen to. I wish I could see him face to face. I just know I could make a difference with him."

"I wonder how far he got before he stopped. Jake's a little faster than us but with the anger pushing him I bet he got pretty far up into Canada. You remember how mad he was?" Quill began to revel in our super wolf abilities. I knew he did this often. He was constantly coming up with new suggestions of ways to test our abilities. A few times he caught Sam in a good enough mood that he allowed us to test our limits.

When Jake and Sam participated, the competition was mostly between the two of them. There were times when Sam felt that Jacob could easily take him, but Jake always conceded that it was close. I suspect he was holding back. He never let Sam lose. I once asked him, to his face, if he did it out of respect for Sam as the alpha or if he did it to avoid drawing attention to himself. He told me he had no idea what I was talking about.

He had a way of pushing his own limits though. Like when he figured out loop holes around Sam's orders. Not to mention the way he could tolerate being around those leeches. That stench is so putridly sweet; it's almost acidic in my nose. Just the thought of it, I can't help but wrinkle up my face. He was also mastering hiding or maybe controlling his thoughts. I bet being around that mindreading leech just added to his necessity for that kind of control. Now that would be the ultimate, if some of us could do what some of them could do. Well maybe just the cool stuff like fortune telling and mind reading of someone other than a pack member. Maybe with the pack constantly evolving it might be possible. It could be another one of those new things included in the legends for our kids.

I concentrated on Quill to see if he had reached the southern border of the line and he had. I was almost to the northern border. I was surprised that Quill had not chimed in on any of my contemplating. He wasn't paying any attention. Then I figured out he was wound up in his own thoughts of Clair. He was thinking about a little wooden pull toy he and his grandfather were working on. He was trying to figure out how to work the joints and back axel to get it to sit whenever she would stop pulling it. I felt a small pang of jealousy. It wasn't like we could just go date somebody. We hadn't really been wolves that long to get comfortable with what we are and how it works to be able to move on to interacting with those not in the know.

"Ah, come on Embry, you never know it could happen to you tomorrow or maybe next week. You're not getting older, so the possibilities are endless."

Okay, so he was tuned back in again. I needed a change of subject. "I think it's about time for us to meet up at the central point. Leah and Seth should be showing up soon to relieve us."

"Yes, I am waiting. Seth will be around in about an hour. Who am I relieving?" It was Leah and she was short and impatient as usual. I saw the toy again in Quill's thoughts.

"Go ahead Quill. You go and good luck with that project. It's just one more hour, no big deal."

"So I take it all is quiet on the front, boring as usual?" Leah stated with her normal distaste. "I see Jacob bugged out. What did you guys say to him to make him phase out? You know if you ignored him and acted like he wasn't there, in time it would get to him then I bet he would talk."

"I don't think so. Jake is not like that. He can be pretty determined." Before Leah was a wolf, she wouldn't have given Jake the time of day let alone worry about him talking to her. In the short span of a couple of months, we had a lot of other things or vamps to worry about. That made regular day to day talking a luxury and usually took place in our upright form. The wolf form was strictly for business, until now. Now there wasn't a lot of business to be had and it wasn't looking like there would be for quite some time.

"You know, Sam should consider taking these patrols down to one wolf on the border and just leave the second back in town near a phone to call the others; that way only one of us has to miss sleep. There are ten of us and that makes like… only three patrols a month."

"No, nine, right now." I corrected and then regretted it.

"Oh, yeah, whatever," she said with the disgust growing in her tone.

"Besides, that is Sam's call to make, but you go right ahead and make that suggestion to him. He might consider it." I was trying to sound like I really considered what she was saying. It didn't mean anything until it came from Sam.

"What's the big deal? I can do that. Haven't you ever suggested anything to him?" She said smugly.

I wanted so badly to come back with a sharp reply, but I had nothing. "Um, no, I guess I never thought that the way we did things needed changing."

"Oh, I don't know that things need to change but there are always options to consider." Leah added.

"I'm sure Sam has his reasons for doing things the way he does. You know he decides a lot of this with the council. It's not all just him." I defended.

"I know that. There's no crime in free thinking though. I still think it's a good idea. You should try thinking outside the pack. You might be surprised."

Okay, that last comment was just hateful. "Well, I did mention to Sam that I wanted to try and talk with Jake alone. You know, try and coax him out of his shell but Sam seems to have a real good feel for what Jake's going through. I don't think he wants us all ganging up on him."

"Oh, he does, does he? Yeah, he knows what it's like to get jilted by love and left in the lurch. Oh wait; he was the jilter not the jiltee. He only knows what it feels like second hand."

Oops, I hit a nerve. If I didn't change the subject this hour was going to be very long. "Okay, yeah, so, whatever. Where do you think Jake is at?"

"Why, are you planning a visit?" She asked snidely.

"No, Quill and I were just curious. We all know he's staying in some cave. Sam said he was in some national park straight north in Canada.

"My bet is he is in the Coast Mountain range. There is a port there called Bella Coola . Also out off the coast on an island there's a community named Bella Bella. I remember seeing a glance from Jacob's thoughts, it was the word Bella. It looked like it was on a sign. It would be just like Jake to hang around a place like this to help him wallow in his misery. He's being so pathetic."

"Okay, Leah, that's kind of mean. What if he were to phase back and hear you. I don't think anything you have said or the way you said it would help the situation any." I scolded her.

"Maybe, maybe not, but I don't see anyone else taking any action."

What was she getting at? "You have a point you're trying to make?" I asked.

"No not really. Jake is going to do what Jake wants to do. He always has. I don't know that anybody could get through his thick head." She said hateful again.

"Okay, Okay. I'm here Embry." Seth broke in at the moment Leah finished her thought.

Having had enough of Leah's attitude, I phased out and began the walk home. I could have ran and got home in a very short time but I took the time to be alone with myself, considering Jake's situation. Maybe I should go, try to find him, see him, and be sure he's okay. I could hitchhike my way north a ways and then run the rest. I was sure I could find his scent.


	17. Chapter 16 I Do

**I Do**

I could hear voices coming from downstairs. It was Charlie and Alice. I sat up in bed and surveyed my room. Edward was absent like he said he would be. This was more for Alice's benefit than my own. She was adamant that the groom should not see the bride on the wedding day until the ceremony. Edward had promised her that he would try his hardest to comply.

The light outside my window reflected the typical hazy grey of daytime in Forks. Most brides, on their wedding day, might be upset by this weather, but I was banking on it. It helped that I had my own personal forecaster in Alice. I tried to calculate how much longer I could lay here, letting time tick by before Alice would create some excuse to come rouse me from my bed. I knew she would know I was awake. I looked to my clock. It was 10:30. This was late for me to be sleeping in but yet again I hadn't slept well. It was a good thing I had that nap yesterday afternoon. It made dinner with my parents and Phil a little more tolerable.

Dinner wasn't too awkward. Charlie never had a problem with Phil. He was more pleasant to Phil than he ever was to Edward. Mom kept going on and on about the plans she and Alice had made and how beautiful it was going to be. The more she went on, the sulkier my dad got. I thought he was almost going to start pouting like a three year old. I was relieved when he finally struck up a conversation with Phil about baseball.

Since we were having a late dinner, it was dusk when Edward arrived with his 'parents' for night cap drinks. I was finally able to relax. I hated to admit it but my mom, at this level of excitement for almost three days straight, all focused on me, was getting overwhelming. When I was sure that Esme had gained mom's full attention and was able to handle it, I excused myself from the table to get some fresh air. I felt Edward's gaze on me the entire way out to the deck. After a few minutes, he was there putting his arm around my shoulders. I shuddered with a chill from the breeze. Edward removed his jacket, put it around me and pulled me close to him.

"You know they are watching us?" He whispered in my ears.

"No, I didn't, but it doesn't matter." I said sneaking my arm out to wrap around his back.

"No, I guess it doesn't." He said as he tipped my head up, peering at my face. "You are so beautiful in this light." He ran his hand down through my hair and when it reached the back of my neck he kissed me. It was so perfect and tender. I couldn't help myself when a whimpered sigh escaped. He backed off just a fraction and we stared at each other some more. The pink tones of dusk gave his pale skin an artificial rosiness, but the smile on his face was what warmed me.

Edward did come to stay with me after Charlie was fast asleep but only until midnight. It was hard for me to fall asleep knowing he was gone. I vaguely remember my reoccurring dream from months ago. The one where Jacob's beside me, pulling me into to the woods. Edward is advancing towards us in all his glory. Then I remembered he was not beckoning to me but pointing at us. He was yelling something I couldn't hear. There was a dark cloaked figure behind him. In a brief glint of light I saw the barrel of a gun. My dreams were getting weirder by the minute. I figured this was just my way of rationalizing the sword over my head held by the Volturi or better yet, them forcing a shotgun wedding. How ridiculous.

There was a light knock on the door and I knew who it was. "Yes, Alice, it's open. Come in." I mumbled.

"Good, you're awake." she deduced.

"Like you didn't know," I replied.

"Well, what do you want to do first?" She asked.

"What are my options?"

"Breakfast or Shower?" she offered.

"Shower." was my response.

"Good. Charlie is making your breakfast. I'll tell him to wait until you're done." I flashed a panicked look her way. "Don't worry. I told him to keep it small, you know, pre-wedding jitters and all. He's doing Pot Tarts and milk." She said heading back down the stairs.

I took a second to evaluate myself. I wasn't nervous. There was no sweating. I didn't detect any urges of cold feet. I yelled down after Alice. "I'm fine, Alice. No jitters here." What I knew of the typical signs of wedding anxiety wasn't a lot, but I was sure I didn't qualify. It figures. What should be normal for a bride to be feeling on her wedding day, I was not feeling. Just another justification of how abnormal I was. So what, I was better off.

When I finished my shower, I found Alice had laid out a powder blue button up blouse and jeans for me to wear. On the floor beside the bed was a large suitcase with most of my wardrobe packed inside. I turned around to call for her to come upstairs and ran right into her.

"I took the liberty of packing for you. I hope you don't mind." She chimed.

"Alice, I was planning to come back to get my things tomorrow. You didn't have to do that."

"Oh, but I did. You won't be around tomorrow to get your things." She smiled liked the cat that ate the canary.

"Why?" I hated surprises especially most of the ones Alice was involved with. She had a flare for the extravagant that was not my taste.

"Edward has plans." She said no more. She puckered her lips together daring me to try and drag the details out of her. I squinted my eyes, crossed my arms and tried my hardest to look threatening. "It's his right as the groom. Now hurry up and come down to eat." She commanded.

"How is he?" I asked curious about how he was handling things. This was his first time doing this too. I imagined he was calm, cool and collected.

Alice closed her eyes. After a few moments a grin began to grow on her face and she said "He's fine as long as he stays busy. Don't worry; I left him a big list of things to do."

This was not anything close to what I expected. I was amused. "He's nervous?" I said laughing.

"I wouldn't say nervous, more like eager." She clarified. Now we both were laughing.

Charlie was at his same place at the table nursing a cup of coffee. "Hey Dad," I said as Alice and I sat down. I tried to sound like it was just another day and not something as dramatic as my wedding day.

"Hey Bells, how are you feeling? A little nervous," he asked.

"No, not especially," he looked surprised by my answer.

"So what does Alice have you doing today?" I asked him.

"He just has to be at our house by five. He's free till then." Alice interjected.

"Well, I planned on going into the station to follow up on a few things but other than that nothing much."

"After Bella is done eating," Alice looked at me with inference "she needs to finish packing. Then she is free till I come back to get her." Alice had scripted everything.

"Don't you need me to come and help you set things up?" I was remembering yesterday when the house showed no signs of a wedding. There had to be tons of things to be done.

"Now Bella, you're the bride. All the planning is done. Your mother, Esme and I have it all under control. There's nothing for you to do until after I pick you up. Just relax. You have a big evening ahead of you." Her final comment caused a slight tinge of nerves. I really was a bride.

After Alice left, I followed Charlie into the living room. I was surprised to see him sit down on the couch instead of his recliner. "What do you want to watch?" he asked grabbing the remote from his chair.

"Baseball is fine," I said flopping down on the couch right beside him. After tonight this would no longer be a casual occurrence. The finality of our time together made me want to memorize every moment. I leaned against my dad acting interested in the game.

He responded, putting his arm around my shoulder and smiling down at me. "You're a good kid Bella. I couldn't ask for anything more. My biggest wish for you is that you stay happy."

"I will Dad." I answered.

Alice was standing before me at exactly four o'clock. Charlie deserted me for the station around two. For the past two hours I had been channel surfing. In the time it took me to stand up and shut off the TV, Alice had retrieved the suitcase and was standing beside me. Her impatience was evident and her driving expedient.

When I saw the house, I was astounded by the transformation. Every pillar of the porch was encircled with garland. I could make out tiny lights intertwined in the greenery. The tent in the yard was like the canopy on an antique bed. The top had sculpted edges and each support pole was draped with blue and grey fabric that spilled onto the ground. There were tables with centerpieces and an inlaid dance platform in the middle. As we came closer, I saw the tent had been wired for lights and delicate crystal chandeliers hung from above. She had created a ballroom outdoors, but still modest for her tastes.

"Wow! Alice it's gorgeous." I complimented her work.

"Thank you." She said cheerfully. "Now we need to get you inside. Edward's patience won't keep him in his room for long."

I wondered how he was doing with his promise to Alice. How hard was it for him not to view people's thoughts? I began to notice that Alice was also trying not to look at me. I realized she was trying to make his task a little easier. They may not have been related by genetics but they loved each other as much as any brother and sister could.

Inside the house the changes were more brilliant. There was a grey carpet runner starting at the bottom of the stairs and continued like an isle between the rows of white chairs. There were sprays of white roses and gardenias at the back of the room. To the front of the room was an arch with every part of it covered in little white flowers and leafy green vines. I recognized the smell. It was freesia, the same flower that was in the corsage Edward gave me at prom. Alice prodded me upstairs before I could take in anymore.

"Is my mom here yet?" I asked Alice as she locked her bedroom door behind us.

"Esme went to get her and Phil. How are you doing?"

"I'm …." I was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"I knew he couldn't stay away. Edward, go back to your room. Bella is fine, right? Tell him your fine." She ordered looking at me.

I walked over to the door putting both palms on it and whispered. "I'm fine." Alice had turned around with her back to me, obviously a means to deter Edward from seeing me. "How are you doing?" I asked him.

"I was anxious but you're here now. I've never experienced time moving so slowly." He said.

"It does that when you want something so badly." I said with self satisfaction.

"Yes I do." He said.

"Just keep practicing those words and I will too."

"Okay, Edward, you need to go. We have things to do." Alice almost sounded irritated. I heard his laugh fade away down the hall. Then Alice went to work.

By the time Esme and Renee came in, my nails were touched up and Alice had most of my make up done, not that I was allowing her to put that much on me. I never really wore much to begin with and it didn't seem like that should be any different for today. Alice asked Esme to do my hair. It was exactly like the time she did it before.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed when Esme said it was time to go and greet the guests arriving. Renee cheerfully went with her. Alice was giggling. I couldn't help myself. I had to ask what was so funny.

"Charlie is here. He's with Carlisle. He sure does fidget a lot when he's nervous doesn't he?" she laughed.

I thought about it and I couldn't ever remember him being nervous. "I don't know. I guess. I've never seen him with a reason to be nervous. Is he okay?" I never thought about Charlie being nervous and I'm sure the tuxedo would only make matters worse.

"He'll be fine once he sees you. Now we need to get you in your dress and veil." This was easier said than done. There were satin undergarments, hose, a garter, shoes and a slip. I hadn't had this many layers on, since my prom nightmare. The bustier was the most complicated to put on. Before I even started to reach behind myself to fasten it, Alice had come up behind me, grabbed the two sides gaving a firm tug. It was on and very tight. I raised my hands at her request. She slid the slip down over me. The soft fabric was cool on my skin. Before I could blink, she had retrieved my dress from the closet. She had it ready for me to step into. There had to be at least thirty buttons up the back. Not a problem for her hyperphysical fingers.

"Oh Bella, turn and see yourself." She said clasping her hands to her mouth like she might start to cry.

I gazed into the mirror starting at the bottom of the frame. I slowly made my way up seeing every part of the dress and then finally my face. I never imagined I would look this way. Alice finished securing the veil and then reached down to fluff it so that it draped down over my shoulders, all the way to the floor.

I stood there stunned. I had no words for what I saw. I'm not sure how long I stared at myself. When I could finally break myself away, I saw that Alice had changed into her gown and was standing beside me. Looking back to the mirror, I saw that today I looked almost comparable to her beauty. Today I would become a Cullen.

There were two light taps on the door and Mom came in with Charlie behind her. He had his hand at his throat messing with his collar. It didn't matter how handsome he looked he was 

visibly unhappy. His agitation disappeared when his eyes met mine. His eyes filled with pride and a tear.

Renee leaned in close to his ear and whispered "Charles Andrew Swan, do not make her cry. It will ruin her makeup. If I can do it you can too." She stepped in front of him pretending to adjust his tie and collar allowing him to hide behind her to collect himself. I could see she still cared for him. Maybe not enough to ever live in Forks, but still, a small part of her heart was his.

"Well, it's time." Alice said, opening the door. She held her hand out to me palm up. "I need the ring." I willing gave it up knowing it would soon be back where it belonged.

Mom came close, giving me a hug and said into my ear "You are going to take his breath away. Enjoy every second of this. I love you honey." She kissed my cheek and followed Alice out of the room.

"Well Dad, what do you think?" I said cautiously turning around for him.

Charlie swallowed hard and replied "You are such a beautiful young woman. I hope he knows, and remembers, how lucky he is to have you."

"Thanks dad." I said smiling. He presented his arm and I took it.

As we exited the room, my stomach took a change for the worse. It felt like a thousand geese taking off after being spooked by gun shot. I had to stop walking. I looked around for Renee to tell me what to do; how to get this under control. She had already gone downstairs to take her place. I had been fine all day and now I was attacked by monster nerves. I felt my hands start to sweat and shake.

Alice and Jasper were at the top of the stairs waiting. He never turned to look at me but I instantly felt his help. The calmness invaded me. I was able to focus again. Charlie was concentrating so intently on his own issues that he didn't notice. I heard piano music coming from the below. I could see the baby grand from where I stood, unoccupied. The music was recorded. It was inherently Edward, though.

Without turning around, Alice handed me a small bouquet of flowers. They were handpicked, tied in a blue ribbon that matched Alice's dress. They were the very same wildflowers, in shades of white, yellow and lavender, from the meadow. A small piece of paper was punched and laced through the loop of the bow. It read. _I will love you FOREVER__. _I was ready.

With amazing restraint, Alice and Jasper steadily descended the stairs.

"You're sure about this, Bells?" Charlie asked, knowing what my answer was going to be.

"With all my heart, very sure," I answered. He kissed me and patted my hands as we started our walk together.

As I turned the corner, my eyes were drawn to the only thing that mattered, Edward. I had watched weddings on TV where the brides glanced at the people in the chairs; recognizing friends and family, but I couldn't bring myself to take my eyes off of him. It was like we were in a room alone with my Dad leading me to him.

We stopped and the minister started talking. My dad took my hand and gave it to Edward. "Take care of her. She's the best I have to offer." Charlie actually smiled at him when he said this.

"I will sir, forever." He replied.

We turned and faced the minister. He began reciting Corinthians 13. He spoke about love and togetherness. The whole time Edward's fingers and mine were interlocked, our arms entwined with one another. Then the minster asked us to turn and face one another. He began "Do you 

Edward take…" I felt my heart tense, pounding like a thousand tympani drums. I knew what his response was going to be. He had told me time and time again this was what he wanted.

"I do." He said and his golden eyes were alight with passion, all for me. I felt Elizabeth's ring slide back where it belonged.

Alice reached around handing me the simple band that once belonged to Edward's father. The minister repeated the same vows to me. When it came time for me to answer all I could do was whisper "I do." It didn't matter if anyone else in the room heard it. He did and his glorious smile was proof. All that was left was the declaration of our union. When the minister finished his announcement, Edward leaned in. His fingers on my neck sent a chill of expectation jolting through me. He exhaled just before our lips touched. Our mouths were in sync as one, together and I didn't want to stop.

Edward, moved back to brush my face with the back of his hand and stared into my eyes. Then he said "Mrs. Bella Cullen sounds as beautiful as you are."

We received our guests and thanked them for coming as they filed out to the tent on the lawn. There were lots of compliments and wishes for a bright future together. This was my first chance to see who was behind me during the ceremony. The line went fast with only the few guests I approved invitations for. I saw Sue Clearwater stand and move behind Billy's chair pushing him out. In the chair beside where she was sitting, I saw the back of a Quileute man. I took a step out of line towards where they were and then the man or actually boy turned. It was Sue's son Seth, not Jacob. Did I wish so badly for him to be there that I made myself think it was him? I took the same step back returning myself beside Edward. When Seth's turn came, he briskly shook Edward's hand. "Nice ceremony. I really hope you guys stay as happy as you look now."

"Thank you Seth. I appreciate that," said Edward.

"Thanks Seth. Thanks for coming."I said to him.

Seth leaned down to give me a hug and whispered in my ear "Jake's fine. Sam's watching out for him. He'll come around. Don't worry about it." I returned my understanding with a tighter squeeze. When he stood back up, he looked to Edward. Edward smiled and gave a slight nod of approval to Seth.

Billy also shook Edward's hand but his sentiment for us was more serious. "You have a very special girl there Edward. Many people want what is best for her. I am sure you will do right by her." He rolled a fraction closer to me. "Bella, I offer my congratulations. I hope that your love can pass the test of time. You will succeed if you remain as happy as you are now. Remember all the people who love you."

"I plan to keep her safe and happy forever," was Edward's response.

When we were the only two left inside, Edward took me in his arms and kissed me like a husband should. "We shouldn't keep our guests waiting. Would you care to join me for a dance Mrs. Cullen?" he asked. There was no way to decline this request.

"Only if you lead," I said laughing.

The reception was a formality I knew I would have to endure for the benefit of my guests and Alice. There was plenty of seating for everyone and the buffet was ready for business. Renee asked us to go first through the line, but I declined stating my stomach was still a bit nervous. When the last guest had made it through the line I heard a tinkling of silver against glass. Alice pranced across the floor, handing each of us a glass of champagne.

Carlisle stood. "On behalf of my son Edward, my wife and myself, I thank you all for coming and sharing this happy occasion with us. It is written: when children find true love, parents find true joy. Here's to your joy and ours, from this day forward." Glasses were raised in celebratory agreement. I was a little shocked to find real champagne in my glass when I took my drink. Carlisle added "Emmett I believe you have a toast." Every one turned to look at Edward's most formidable brother. By the sinister grin on his face I was leery and so was Edward for what was about to come.

"Edward has never been a man of many words but luckily I'm not like him." Rose came up beside her husband, nudging him in the side. "Anyway, Edward, my brother, I am happy your search for love has ended and I hope it is more than either of you expect. I heard once that the most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart. Take care of each other and share the joy." I was surprised he had stuff like that in him. So shocked I almost forgot to drink.

Then it was Edwards turn. "Bella, I have told you I will love you for eternity, but for me eternity is not long enough. You have made me happier than I can ever remember being. I want to make you feel like I do for today, tomorrow and every day hereafter. If I could give you my soul I would know that it would be treasured. You have given me your love and I will guard it forever. Thank you. I love you." He raised his glass to the crowd but leaned in and kissed me instead. Emmett, Jasper and several other male voices in the group began to chant "Dance, Dance, Dance,"

Carlisle spoke up, "Ladies and Gentlemen. I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen." The music from strategically placed speakers became more prevalent as Edward led me to the middle of the dance floor.

The combination of the champagne and circulation from dancing made me giggly. Edward cut me off the libations after I finished my first glass. After dancing with Charlie and then Carlisle, my head was beginning to clear. Edward had been sitting at a table with Esme, watching me dance. Every time I tried to sit down someone else would approach me for a dance. First there was Mike. He had the usual compliments and admitted he was and still is jealous of Edward but happy for us. Emmett couldn't resist tormenting Mike. He tapped him on the shoulder to cut in and got the unsettling response he was wanting.

"You didn't have to do that you know?" I told him.

"I've got to have some fun somehow. You sure did clean up nice. I think maybe even Rose is a little intimidated by you."

"I doubt that. She knows better, but thank you for saying so."

Next came Jasper, "You're feeling more relaxed. Was it the ceremony or the stairs?" he jeered.

"Oh, probably a little of both" I didn't mind teasing from him. It made me feel good that he was getting more comfortable being around me. Maybe it was a good thing that I was around and not just for Edward's benefit.

The last to cut in was Seth. The look on his face was conflicted. I think he was still trying to decide if he wanted to dance with me. I suspected Billy put him up to it.

"I apologize up front. I'm not a very good dancer."

"That makes two of us."

"It didn't look that way." He said grinning.

"It's all in the leading."

"Do you think, maybe, Edward would? Oh, never mind." His question was evident.

"I'm sure he would, Seth."

"Well, you see, there is this girl. I haven't really talked to her but I thought maybe if at a dance I asked her… You know, an ice breaker, a way to open up communication." He was trying to be more mature than his years.

"Seth, have you imprinted?" I was really curious now.

"Oh, geez, no, if I had this wouldn't be so hard."

Generally I would have thought this the ultimate torture but sharing a dance with Mike, Emmett, Jasper and Seth was not bad at all. Finally Edward tapped Seth on the shoulder and asked to cut in. For the rest of the night he held my dance card.

Well past sunset, when the chandeliers in the tent were their most brilliant, Edward granted me a reprieve and we sat down at the head table. I was resting my head on his should when I noticed a guest I had not greeted earlier. She was bent over talking to Billy and her ebony hair draped over half her face. I sat up and looked at Edward to see if he was listening to what they were talking about. He was looking over at Emmett and Rose. They were having a very serious conversation about something. When I turned back to see if Emily was done, I saw Billy approaching our table.

"Bella thank you for inviting us. It was a very nice ceremony. Congratulations to you both. It's getting a little late for me, so we are going to head back to La Push."

"Oh, okay. Thanks for coming Billy, Sue. See you later Seth." Emily was gone. I didn't see her anywhere.

"Yes, thank you so much Mr. Black. It was very gracious of you to come." Edward seemed a little more formal than he needed to be.

Charlie came up from behind us. He stepped up behind Billy's chair and struck up a conversation with them as he walked them to their car.

"Do you want to dance some more?" Edward asked turning to me.

"No, let's just sit here for awhile." I needed to take some time to let it all sink in. Edward had his arm around my shoulders and his other hand held mine. This felt very right.

As the party's excitement declined, more of the guests approached us to offer their best wishes before they departed.

"Are you happy with how your day turned out?" Renee said sitting down beside me and giving me a motherly pat on my leg.

"Yes. It was perfect. Thanks mom for all you did."

"For you, there was no question about it." She replied.

I glanced around looking for the other person I should be thanking for a job well done. "Where's Alice?" I hadn't seen her for several minutes.

"She went to change and get the car. Phil is exhausted. She is very intuitive. She suggested it was time to take us back to the lodge. I don't think I will see you before we leave tomorrow." She paused, smiling at me like she was memorizing my face. "You are so special Bella. This was everything I hoped it would be for you. Enjoy your honeymoon. We'll talk when you get back. Email me then. I love you dear." I hugged and kissed her, telling her that I loved her too.

After she stood up she addressed Edward. "You and Bella are very lucky to have one another. Keep the love close and your life will be wonderful. Take care of my Bella."

"I will Mrs. Dwyer." He answered.

Charlie was ready to leave minutes later. His arms were full of leftovers from the buffet that Esme insisted he take. I followed him to his car. "You know Bells, as I watched you today, I saw what an amazing young woman you have become. You've taken good care of me, more than you should have been expected to. You don't always have to do the 'taking care of'. Let Edward do some of it for you." If he only knew, I thought to myself. "Share the responsibilities the way you share your love. He's a good man. He has a lot to offer you. Just take the time to keep yourself happy. I love you honey and I'll miss you." He leaned down and kissed my forehead. We embraced and tears rolled down my face.

"I love you too Dad." When I could no longer see his tail lights, I turned and walked up on to the porch. The night air was clean and crisp. For this moment, no one was demanding my attention.

The catering crew had finished up, loading the tables and chairs into the vans. I saw Alice talking to the crew and the next thing I knew the last of her hired staff was gone. The tent still remained. It would probably be disassembled tomorrow. Although the lights had been turned off, I was almost able to make out a group of figures in the tent. I walked closer to the rail, leaning against it and peering into the darkness. I could hear no voices but their bodies were gesturing in obvious conversation. From what I could see, I knew it was Edward, his brothers and Carlisle. I watched Edward point his arm to the forest behind the house. I couldn't help but move my eyes in that direction. The moon enhanced the silhouettes of the trees as they swayed with the wind.

I listened to the noises of nature's silence, crickets, birds, leaves and calls from other creatures of the night. I wondered if Edward enjoyed this symphony of earth while all of us simple humans slept. Then I remembered that his new enjoyment was listening to my night time ramblings. Well, soon that would stop. I thought that at least in the beginning, this would be a nice way to spend part of my nights.

I was jolted from my conceptions by a deep mournful bay that lingered through echoes and was soon joined by several more howls. I remembered hearing Jacob howl once. He had called the wolves together to meet but these cries were different. They were cries of despair and torment. The first wail had to have been Sam. It was so deep and pronounced. What had happened? I saw Emily at the reception talking to Billy. Something was wrong. Something had happened to Jacob. I felt panic to my core. My knees began to weaken and buckle. I tried to stumble backwards to brace myself against the house but I misjudged the distance and fell back. The pain in my head was intense but brief.


	18. Chapter 17 Search Party

**Search Party**

My head hit so hard it bounced. The second impact seemed like it was harder than the first. I exhaled a moan, putting one hand on the back of my head and the other on my neck. I tensed my face, squeezing my eyes shut with pain. "Oh crap" was all I managed to say. This sentiment covered so many bases. Here it is, my wedding night. Something very serious has happened with the pack. It had to be Jacob. I knew it was Jacob. On top of that, my weak constitution for immediate stress and possibly lack of food, caused me to collapse striking my head hard enough to split it open or at least it felt like it.

"Bella hold still. You hit the floor pretty hard. I imagine you've given yourself a concussion. Bella what's your mother's name?"

"What? Renee." I answered.

"Who am I?"

"Carlisle,"

"How many fingers am I holding up?" He asked with his hand displayed in front of my face.

"Three, I'm fine really. I need to get up. I need to… um, to…" I forgot what I was doing before I hit my head. Then I heard it again, the call of the wolves. They seemed to be coming from the same direction. "Jake." I put my hands on the floor, bracing myself, trying to get to my feet, but my legs were tangled up in my dress.

"Bella, stop," Carlisle's firm grip was on my shoulders holding me down. "Edward went to find out what's happened. We don't believe it is Jacob. Wait until he gets back. We need the details first before we can help. Right now I need to help you, if you would please cooperate."

"Okay, okay, okay fine. I'm cooperating."

"Now, are you dizzy? Is your vision blurred?"

"No. I just have this growing lump on my head that really hurts and I think I pulled a muscle in my neck. I need to get out of this dress before it gets ruined."

"Bella, it's just a dress. I will help you get out of it as soon as Carlisle is sure your okay." Alice was now behind me with her hand on my back. I felt like an idiot. Yeah so I hit my head. It wasn't the first time. The real problem was with the pack. I needed to change, to get to La Push. Billy, I had to speak with Billy. Emily was here. She said something to him. What did she say? My mind was racing through scenarios.

There was a light flashing in my eyes. Then Carlisle's hands were assessing the lump on the back of my head, moving down to my neck. "Yes, you have a moderate concussion. You're going to feel the headache soon. Your neck is strained but I don't think you need a collar. Alice, please go with her upstairs. Edward, Emmett and Jasper will be back soon. Then we can get this all sorted out."

They both helped me to stand and I saw Esme standing behind her husband. Her face covered with concern. "I'm fine, really. It's hurting less and less." I lied to her, trying to make her feel better while my head was steadily feeling worse. Esme moved beside me untwisting the skirt around my legs. She and Alice flanked me as we went inside. I saw Carlisle walk down off the porch scanning the forest for his sons.

"Bella, don't worry, the dress is not ruined. It's fine. A trip to the cleaners and it will be just like new. Are you sure you want to take it off? You look so pretty in it."

Was she serious? Did she not get the sudden change in atmosphere? "Yes, I'm sure, Alice." I stressed trying not to yell.

I bent down to grab up my skirt and it felt like the entire contents of my head slammed into my eyes and nose. "Oh man! That hurts." Standing back up did not feel any better. It was the reverse with everything hitting the back of my skull.

"Bella, let's just do this the easy way. It's safer, too." Alice demanded. The next thing I knew, I was cradled in her arms, being toted up the stairs and then put down by the bed in Edward's room. I saw a stack of luggage in the corner, not all of it I recognized. Alice picked up the one she had brought from my house, laying it on the bed, and unzipping it. I moved my hands behind my back trying to feel for the buttons that imprisoned me in satin and lace. "Here let me." In seconds the dress was falling forward, onto the floor. Alice extended both her hands to me. "Come on step out of it." She coaxed. I took her hands, because it was easier than arguing with her, and not because I was an invalid. "Do you need me to help you with the rest?"

"No…thank you. I can get the rest myself. Come get me as soon as he is back. Please Alice." I begged her.

"Of course," she said and left the room.

I flopped down on the couch, kicking off one of my shoes in frustration. It hit the wall of music, knocking a couple of CDs off their shelf. I did the same with the other foot. This time the shoe hit the ceiling, landing on the bed. I stood up to take off my hose, but when I bent forward, the resounding throb was back. I sat back down on the couch, leaning my head back as far as I could. When I felt the pain was manageable, I changed my strategy and wriggled out of my slip. I balled it up throwing it to the floor. I stood up slowly, trying not to jar my head. I found a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and laid them on the bed. I wanted my zip-up hoodie. I was going to be ready to head to La Push the very second I could.

I started pacing. Edward would have reasons why I should not go. Well, I was going to have my reasons ready, too. For one, I was closer to the pack than any of them. I knew them better. Jacob was my best friend. What if this didn't have to do with Jacob? I held no animosity to any of the others, so they were my friends to, as far as I was concerned. Well, maybe Leah and I were not so much friends, as we have an understanding about each other. I looked down at my hands. I was wringing the jacket in my hands. Standing in the middle of the room, exposed in nothing more than the bustier, lace panties and hose, I was a little chilly. I put on the hoodie.

I bet Edward would try to make me stay here while he went off to save the day. Save the day from what? Oh, no he wasn't. There was no way he was leaving me behind. We were married. I had just as much demand on him as he would have on me. I was part of the family. Even before today, I had a say. I played a bigger part in the battle than Edward would have ever imagined. I kept him from killing himself in Italy. I was not as helpless as everyone made me out to be. Yeah, sure, there was definitely some luck involved, but I was getting much better at this stuff.

I was not going to let him bully me. "Edward, you can tell me your opinion but you can't make my decisions for me." I said out loud, practicing my arguments. I waved my arms trying to stress my point, like it helped. "I know the pack. I used to hang out with them. Well, okay, you've been in their heads. You have the advantage there. I'll admit that. Billy and my dad go way back. They're good people, you know that Edward. I just need to help. You can't, and won't keep me from helping."

"Are you quite through?" His voice said, coming from the direction of the doorway

I spun around so fast that the pain escalated in my head again. I clamped my hand to my forehead. "Don't do that!" I said through gritted teeth.

He was at my side with his hand at my back, like he was holding me up.

"Oh stop, I'm fine. You know you shouldn't sneak up on people like that. It's rude." My frustration had reached its boiling point. I turned to face him, putting my hands on my hips. I was mad. I was beginning to wonder how much of my rant he had heard. "Well," I spat.

Edward took a step back with his hands in the air like he was under arrest. Then he started to smile.

"Edward, this isn't funny. This is serious. Did you get the details?"

His smile dimmed but did not vanish. "Yes, it's not Jacob. He's fine. Everyone is waiting downstairs. We will all figure out the best way to help."

I was fine with this. I was included as part of the 'we'. I headed to the door. Edward prominently cleared his throat. "Bella, you need to come back here."

Oh god. Something was bad. Something he needed to tell me, before he told everyone else. I turned facing him, crossing my arms in front to hold myself together.

"Bella, love, I don't think you want to go downstairs like that. Not that I don't enjoy what I see, but I really don't want to share all that, with everyone else." He was really amused but trying to hold it in. He knew now was not the time.

I was instantly crimson. Here I was stomping around his room, going on and on about prospective troubles with the pack and I had entirely forgotten to finish dressing.

"Yeah, well, fine!" I said embarrassed and still angry. I leaned against the bed to put my jeans on. The T-shirt could wait. I opted for zipping up the hoodie to hide my lacy unmentionables. I stalked out of his room without even checking to see if he was following.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs I headed to the dining room. Edward was in front of me. He had changed his clothes. My irritation was evident by the sound of my stocking feet slapping against the wood floor. Everyone was already present in the room. They had all changed too. The fact that I was the last person there, just added to my frustrations. What Edward would reveal would mean more to me than to any of them. Were they only concerned because of the implications it would have on the treaty? Or was it out of courtesy for my feelings? When I realized what I was just implying, I was ashamed of myself. The Cullen's would never, purposefully, be that shallow or selfish.

I looked impatiently to Edward and said "Okay, go."

"Bella, like I already told you, this wasn't about Jacob. It's Embry. Apparently, late last night, he took off to go try and find Jacob. Sam has been monitoring all day trying to locate him. A short time ago, Sam was able to find him and communicate with him. Embry is up in British Columbia, in the Pacific Ranges. Apparently he had hitchhiked most of the way there. That's why Sam was unable to find and talk with him."

"There's got to be more to it than that. Sam isn't telling you all of it. Those howls were serious, not just disappointment in a wolf that has wandered off." I interrupted. Esme came to stand behind my chair and put her hands on my shoulders. Her touch was motherly and consoling. Edward gave her a look of appreciation and continued on.

"He told me, when he finally found, him he was fine. Embry said he was trying to find Jacob's trace but was having some difficulties. Sam told him that if he didn't find Jacob by morning that he was to come back. He made this an order. Then Embry told him he found spots along the roadside where he scented a vampire. Apparently it was not in the woods, but had made several stops roadside. Sam was following along in Embry's thoughts when Embry experienced extreme pain. Sam couldn't tell what happened. He said his thoughts steadily became less focused. Then he couldn't hear him anymore. Sam immediately called a meeting. That was the howling you heard, Bella. He has restricted the rest of the pack to the La Push territory and Forks, until further notice. He was planning on leaving tonight to go find Embry and Jacob. The pack is really in a fractured state right now."

"Edward, what did you offer them? We can help. We owe them that. What do you want us to do?" Emmett said. It was obvious he was a man of action. Carlisle was nodding his consent.

"Sam told me that a while back Jacob had scented one of our kind. There were no other indications from Jacob that he was tracking it. Sam assured me of this. I don't see this being any of the Denali clan. They wouldn't venture that far south this time of year. This has to be someone else. Whatever it is that he is doing; doesn't appear to be anything that breaks any rules, at least as it concerns the Volturi. This may not even have anything to do with Embry's disappearance. I proposed to Sam that we go up, find Embry and bring him back. I told him that we have a connection that can help us locate him or at least where he has been. I told him about the plane I have waiting and that we can be there in a matter of hours. He wants to send someone with us. I convinced him that wasn't a good idea. I explained that when they killed Laurent, it angered a friend of ours that had been close to him. If Irina got wind of this, it would only make things more difficult. I was able to dissuade him for now, but I have to keep in touch with him. He's sending Seth to be the go between."

"So what is the plan Edward?" Jasper asked.

"Carlisle, Esme and Alice have to remain here for appearances. Alice, I'm sorry, but you have to take Renee and Phil to the airport." He told her. Alice didn't seem surprised. She was very understanding. "The rest of us will take the plane to Fairbanks. Carlisle, can you call Denali and see if we can meet with Katrina. If I can get her to help us trace Embry it will make our job easier."

"I see that she is receptive, but you will have to divulge a little more about the battle with the newborns to convince her." Alice confirmed. She and Jasper left the room, returning with the luggage from Edward's room.

"I'm going too?" I said looking at Edward.

"Bella, you have to go, for the same reason Alice has to stay, but please, can you do as I ask? It is for your own good. We're not sure what we are up against." Edward asked calmly.

"What are the demands?" I asked in a similar tone.

"There are no demands. We can discuss this later. Right now we have a flight to catch." He said with urgency.

The plane was waiting on the tarmac for our arrival. The pilot seemed to be apprised of a change in plans. He approached Emmett and said "Good evening Mr. Cullen. The plane is prepped for flight. We can leave whenever you're ready."

Emmett glanced quickly to Edward. Edward raised an eyebrow and gave a very small nod.

Emmett responded to the pilot. "Yes, the sooner the better. That's fine, thank you."

I was surreptitiously given the seat nearest the exit. This reminded me of a conversation Edward and I had once, about saving me from a plane crash. I was sure this was his way of taking safety precautions. This did not reduce my apprehensions. I resolved myself to silently contemplating what could have happened to Embry. Some of my suspicions were the same as had been inferred by Sam and Edward. Had another vampire confronted him? Did they battle? Did Embry lose? Who was this vampire? Could it be Irina? This theory brought some concern deep within me. I recalled what Carlisle said about her holding a grudge, because of what happened to Laurent. When Tonya called, she inferred that Irina was still angry. Could love be as blind for vampires, as it could for humans? Had Laurent only been playing on Irina's emotions? From what I could tell he was still loyal to Victoria. Did Irina know this? Pity joined the ranks of my emotions for her. I remembered how Edward once told Victoria that James just kept her around as a tool, that he didn't really love her. It was the same way she felt about Riley. She used him. Every one of them was using another. Did they not have a real conceptualization of love?

I turned and looked at Edward. I loved him, really loved him. He loved me. He had voluntarily chosen to end his existence when he thought I was gone for good. I felt his love with every touch. Of this I was sure and it made me smile.

"Yes?" He said returning my gaze.

"I love you." Was all I said.

"I love you too, and I'm sorry. It's our wedding night. This is not how I planned for things to go." He said with disappointment in his voice.

"It's not what I hoped for either. It's not your fault." I said taking hold of his hand.

"I promise to make it up to you." He leaned in putting his forehead to mine. Then he tilted and kissed me slowly. I could smell him as he exhaled. His lips moved up my jaw and to my ear. "You are my everything." He whispered. His sentiment cemented my affirmation. Love does exist with some vampires.

I glanced back over the seat. Jasper was watching us and smiling. I couldn't help smiling back. I was a bit embarrassed but I could tell he approved of what he saw. I looked over at Emmett and Rosalie. She had her attention focused on an auto magazine. Emmett was looking out the window but his lips were moving. I couldn't hear what he was saying, but then, when I saw Rose smile, I knew the words were only for her. Within the Cullens, love abounded. Many times over I had seen the evidence, stolen kisses, regular embraces, shared laughter, and genuine concern for the partner's well being. It made me wonder if the chosen diet of the Cullens made it more probable to truly experience love. Maybe the fact that they tried to view humans or people as something more than objects of food, it allowed them to have a deeper respect for anyone in a human shape.

I thought about Irina again. She had the same diet. So did the rest of her coven. Edward had told me that Eleazar was married to Carmen. The emotional commitment was present there too. Again, I felt sorry for Irina and what about Katrina and Tonya? Tonya had pursued Edward. I knew this. Rosalie told me. What if Tonya was there when we met with Katrina? Would she become angry that Edward had chosen a mortal over her? I considered that maybe I should remain on the plane when we landed. Then I realized, I didn't know what the plans were when we landed.

"So what happens when we get there?" I asked Edward.

"Eleazar and Katrina will meet us at the airport. Then we will fly back down to Juneau. I meant for this to be a surprise, but the situation has changed things. I bought us a house there, Bella. So we can still full fill our plans. It's just west of Tongass National Forest, not that far from Juneau. I would like for you to stay at the house with Rose and Emmett. Would you do that, for me?" He waited for my answer, his eyes soft and pleading.

"And what are you going to be doing while I wait?"

"Eleazar will fly us south to Bella Coola. Sam says this is where Embry thought Jacob was. He went there to start his search for him. I'm hoping Katrina will be able to pick up some kind of trace."

"How long do you think that will take?"

"I'm not sure; hopefully no more than a day. We just need to find a place to start and a direction to head."

"Yes, I will stay at the house. I can't see that I have anything to offer but inconvenience. We just need to get Embry home safely and resolve this." I wanted to say Embry and Jacob but I couldn't bring myself to say it. I was hoping that Jacob would surface and see that many of us cared about him. Hope was all I had for now.

It had been three or four hours since we left for the airport in Sekiu. The airport in Fairbanks looked almost deserted. The lights were on in the terminals, but there was no noticeable activity. As our plan taxied towards a row of small hangers, I saw car lights approach. When the plane stopped, Emmett got up and went to talk with the pilot. Edward opened the door lowering the steps. He turned to me, holding out his hand. I was not expecting to get out of the plane, but I was sure my legs would welcome it.

The SUV stopped only yards from the bottom of the stairs. The doors open. At first I saw a very striking man. His ebony hair was shoulder length. He looked to be in his upper twenties maybe thirty and worldly. He was dressed in jeans, a denim shirt and a blazer. Standing next to him was a pale Latin beauty. Her dark hair was fashioned into a long thick braid hanging down her back. She had thick long lashes, that drew even more attention to her amber eyes. The gentleman approached us with his hand extended. "Edward, it's good to see you are well. I wish it were under better circumstances." Eleazar spoke with a hint of Spanish accent. It fit his dashing looks. I was sure that Carmen would have the same accent. Edward grasped his arm at the elbow just as Elezar did. They pulled close, giving each other a stout slap on the back.

After the greeting, Edward stepped back, looking to the back of the vehicle. Katrina had come from the other side. "Edward." She said, nodding acknowledgment to him.

"Katrina, I thank you for helping us." Edward said.

"Why do you never call me Kate?" She asked him.

"Like I always say Katrina, you are so much more than a Kate." I had found Edward to be charming but this was something more. He was buttering her up and she was playing right into it, smiling the whole time.

"And who is this?" She asked raising a suspicious eyebrow.

"This is Bella. Bella, this is Katrina, Eleazar and his wife, Carmen."

I wasn't sure what to do. Then Eleazar stepped forward, his hand extended to me palm up. I cautiously placed my left hand in his. He raised my hand to his bowing head, kissing the back of it. 

As he drew away, I thought he stopped for an instant admiring the ring on my finger. "It is very nice to meet you, Bella." He said to me and then looked directly at Edward.

"Yes, she is my wife. We were married today." Eleazar and Carmen smiled enjoying the news. When I looked to Katrina, she was smiling too, but with an added sense of amusement. Like there was something more to this news that she was enjoying. "Unfortunately, our celebration was cut short by this untimely complication. I'm sure Carlisle told you what we know. A friend of ours has gone missing. We appreciate any help you can give us in finding him." Edward continued.

"Of course, of course, let's be off to a quick resolution. We can discuss more on the flight." Eleazar turned to his wife, embracing and kissing her before he left her behind. I returned to my seat on the plane and was a bit surprised to find Eleazar sitting beside me instead of Edward. Edward had taken a seat on the other side of the small isle sitting with Katrina. I watched the two of them in conversation. My jealousy helped me decide that I would call her Kate.

"Don't worry child, they are merely talking strategy, nothing more and nothing less. I am glad to see Edward has found his happiness. I see something special with you. You don't view our kind the way most people do. Were you never intimidated by him? Forgive me if it is too personal. I understand if you wish not to answer. I am just curious."

"Um, no, that's okay. I met Edward at school. I was curious from the start and intimidated too. I had a class with him. That first day, I thought he hated me, but I didn't know then what he was and how hard being around me was for him." I answered.

"Really, Edward has been very practiced in our restraint for many years. It surprises me to hear he encountered difficulty with you. Ah, you were the difficulty that brought him for a visit a while back." He realized.

"That would be me." I really wasn't sure how much of our story it was okay to tell. I didn't know how close the two coven's really were and with recent tensions with Irina, I didn't want to jeopardize the situation right now."

"He is very enamored by you. I see this through his eyes. There is a kind of, how do I say, aura, no aroma, maybe essence that attracts him intensely to you." He explained.

"La tua cantante," I said under my breath.

"You speak, Italian? It's a good phrase to represent how he sees you, yes?"

"Yes, but that was how an acquaintance of ours explained what I am to him."

"This acquaintance was perceptive but still a little lacking. There is more. There is love and passion for you there too. Know this and live happy with this knowledge for this kind of love can be rare."

It made me feel good hearing him. I wondered if his gift let him see into the soul I was sure Edward had. "Thank you, thank you very much for saying so." And then a huge yawn escaped my lips.

"I forget how needy your kind is. Sleep is something I remember but no longer require." He turned to Edward and said. "You should sit here. Your wife needs to sleep." Eleazar stood making way for Edward. Edward smiled at his words and his respect for him as my husband.

I woke when we landed in Juneau. All of us departed from the plane. Rosalie immediately headed off towards the terminal with Emmett. I looked to Edward for direction.

"They went to get a truck to take you to our house." Edward turned to face me, drawing me close to him. I meant to be there, for it to be just us. This is what I meant for it to be."

"It's fine. When it's just us, it will still be the most significant thing for us. The wait will just make it better." I said trying to dissuade his regrets.

"Another surprise, you are receptive to waiting. Married life suits you. Maybe we could extend…"  
"No, Edward. I said 19. Let's not get into this now or ever again. I met your requirements, willingly, I might add. Now it's your turn."

"True. Well, here comes Rose. Go with her and Emmett. Eleazar has a plane here he uses for business. We will go down to Bella Coola and be back late tonight or tomorrow morning. I told Emmett not to make a pest of himself. I wish I could be there to show you the house. I hope you will be surprised and relieved at what I have done. I will call you later." He placed both hands on the sides of my head, drawing me up to his lips. I willing rose to my tip toes returning his passion.

As the four of them walked away towards the hangers, Edward and I stole backwards glances at one another. I knew what he was doing was not supposed to be dangerous at all, but as was typical, there was always the unknown.


	19. Chapter 18 Revealed

Disclaimer: These stories are based on characters and situations created and owned by Stephenie Meyer, publisher Little, Brown and Company, and Summit Entertainment. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**Revealed**

Emmett loaded our luggage into a Jeep Wrangler Rubicon. The suspension on this vehicle looked like it could take on Mount Everest. I really didn't think anything about it, knowing Rosalie's passion for ostentatious rides. We headed North on Montana Creek Road. When we turned on to a narrow side road, the ride became quite bumpy. The road looked as though it had not been traveled much. There were spots where water had created small trenches, severing the path we were on. Trees on both sides were passing very close. I didn't notice a name marker for this road. It made me think of the drive up to the Cullen's house, but less maintained.

After twenty minutes of being jarred around, with little help from the restraints, we were finally there. The house was bigger than I expected, still unassuming; almost cabin like. There was a covered porch spanning the front, with a willow branch swing at one end. At first I thought it was new construction, but looking at the dense, well established landscaping it had to be a renovation. Renovations were Esme's passion. Her touch was evident.

"Come on pokey." Emmett said, standing in the doorway. "Don't think I'm carrying you across the threshold. That's not my job."

"Smooth Emmett, just rub it in, make a bad situation worse." Rosalie chided him.

"I was only kidding. You know that, don't you, Bella? Kidding right?"

I smiled "Yes, Emmett, always the kidder." I really wasn't upset by his comment. If Emmett joked with you, then you were in with his crowd or better yet his family.

When I walked in through the door, I was amazed and impressed. From where I was standing, I could see directly to a wall of picture windows that made up the back side of the house. They framed the view of the lake and mountains just beyond. I was fixed where I stood, admiring Edward's distinctive tastes. The taupe leather furniture, pillows and rugs in earth tones and a fireplace that went floor to ceiling, made of a light colored stone that was most possibly common to the area. It was like a small ski lodge, but brighter. I was standing in the family room and just beyond that was the dining room with a view. It was a very welcoming atmosphere.

"Hey, Bella, come check this out. He's getting good at shopping for you." Emmett yelled from another room around the corner from the dining room. Edward knew I didn't like him spending money on me. I wondered how much he spent on this house. This expenditure didn't bother me as much, because it would allow me to be alone with him. The house would be ours, not mine.

Emmett was in the kitchen. It was not as big as the one in the Cullen's home but bigger that Charlie's, however, most kitchens would be bigger than Charlie's. There were granite counter tops, stainless appliances and off white cabinets. Emmett was standing in front of the open refrigerator. If it weren't for the fact that he was a vampire, he would have looked right at home there. A man of his size surveying the guts of the fridge would have been typical. I was amused and expectant of his expression of distaste for what he saw. "Is this stuff any good? It all looks so processed." He asked.

I stepped up beside him to see what was in there. Immediately I saw Esme's influence again. It had the usual things, milk, yogurt, apples, chicken salad, whole grain rolls, cheese, juice, lettuce, tomatoes, eggs, and other healthy ingredients. The freezer was comparably stocked with things to benefit my well being. It looked like there was enough there for one person to last a week or more. Emmett had moved on to searching through the cabinets. He was reading the side of a box of Pop Tarts.

"Now those are good." I pointed out.

"I wouldn't say that. Have you read what's in these? Maybe if you knew you might eat better and maybe you'd grow." He teased.

"Hey, I do just fine feeding my tiny body." I said slapping him on the arm. It was like slapping a large tree branch. You'd think I would know better by now. I clenched my teeth together taking a deep breath to mask the pain in my hand.

"Watch yourself. Edward won't be happy if you're injured just from hanging out at your own house." He laughed.

My own house, no, our own house. I had been seeing so much of Esme and Edward's personalities in the décor that I forgot it was done for Edward and me to share. I heard someone speaking. It was coming from an open door at the other end of the dining room. Which was also a wall of windows made of smoked glass. Looking through it, I saw another room that was a combination of library slash media room. I went in and saw that Rose had opened doors on the wall revealing a flat screen television. The announcer was giving updates of current weather conditions. "Today and into the night it will remain overcast, with moderate winds in southern Alaska, Yukon and northern British Columbia." It was nothing out of the ordinary for this time of the year.

The entire wall surrounding the television was shelves from floor to ceiling, about eight feet high. Only a few shelves had things on them. One shelf, with a retractable glass door, had a few books on it. When I got closer, I saw they were works by Edgar Allen Poe, Chaucer, Shakespeare, a couple by Jane Austen and best of all, one book by Ellis Bell. I ran my fingers down the spine of the book, picking it up. I touched the title embossed across the front, Wuthering Heights. When I opened the book, a slip of paper fell to the floor. I picked it up. It was a verification of authentication. This was a real first edition. Carefully I replaced the slip, returning the book to its shelf. That book was a treasure. It should have been in a museum, yet it was here, because of me.

I turned and noticed that Rosalie had been watching me. "Oh, I'm sorry if I'm in your way. I'll just go in the other room." I still wasn't totally comfortable around her.

"It's not necessary. Bella, I don't have anything against you. This is your house. You can go anywhere you'd like. I'm the guest here."

"No, Rose, not a guest, family," I corrected her.

"Some might say that is worse than a guest." She added with a small smile.

"No, I didn't mean that." I started to say.

"Bella, you can take a joke from Emmett but not from me. Lighten up." She laughed and returned her attention to the television.

I faked a laugh and walked over to the window seat. The view was the same as the dining room. There was a sloping lawn, with a flagstone path leading down to a small rocky beach. It made me think of First Beach. I wondered if Jake knew about Embry. Would he be looking for him? I reached in my hoodie pocket for my cell phone but it wasn't there. I went back into the other room. I searched through my suitcase until I found it. There was a text message.

WE JUST LANDED. HOW DO YOU LIKE THE HOUSE? WISH I COULD HAVE SEEN YOUR REACTION. THERE'S A SURPRISE IN THE MEDIA ROOM FOR YOU. LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU. RELAX, I WILL TEXT YOU LATER.

At first I thought about texting him back. Then I decided against it. I didn't want to distract them from what they were trying to accomplish. Instead I sent a text to Alice.

DID EVERYTHING GO WELL WITH MOM AND PHIL? HAVE YOU SEEN ANYTHING ABOUT EMBRY? DO YOU KNOW HOW THE PACK IS COPING?

Before I could add more questions to my text, my phone rang. "Good morning Bella. Phil and Renee's flight has left and will arrive only a few minutes behind schedule. I know they really enjoyed themselves." Alice paused like she was unsure about continuing. "Bella, I'm sorry. I haven't seen anything more. I can't see the wolves but I do see Edward, Eleazar, Jasper and Kate. You know that means I don't think they will find him but things can change in an instant. I am hopeful. When I know something I will let you know. Are you okay there?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Rose is fine. Emmett is fine. We are all fine…. I'm sorry Alice. I shouldn't get snotty with you." I said regretfully.

"Bella, it's okay. I understand. You know, up until the point before you hit your head, I could see how much you were going to enjoy your honeymoon. It was so romantic. There is quite the spark between you two." She confessed.

I thought about what she said. I was going to ask for more details but then it might spoil plans at a future time if I knew. Then with a little embarrassment I asked "Alice, what parts exactly have you seen of my intended honeymoon?" Did I really want to hear that she was privy to intimate moments. That was almost creepier than my mother watching us kiss. That was voyeurism.

"I don't often look into my family's future. It takes away some of the joys of living life. You know spontaneity. Bella, you know I have watched your future. We have talked about it. There is much more risk in your future, since you are mortal; even more considering how accident prone you can be. I admit, there have been times I have checked on your future for Edward. He likes the reassurance of your guaranteed happiness. My gift can give a reasonable amount of certainty that surprises will be received the way they were intended. Oh, don't you just love the books. He thought it would be neat, with you studying literature and all."

"Yes Alice, the books are wonderful. So you can't see private moments or you can choose not to see them." I needed to know this and then maybe I didn't.

"I have the ability to choose not to acknowledge them when I sense what is coming. That would just be too rude and kind of weird to watch. I'm not that kind of girl."

"I know you're not Alice. I'm sorry for implying that you were. This just isn't how I planned it would be." I said sadly. I had moved to the couch lying down on it, surprised that it was big enough that my head and feet did not reach the ends.

"You know Bella, it was not Embry's decision that changed your future. At least I don't think it could have been. I don't see their decisions like I can't see you when you're with them. I'm afraid that a decision of another, a decision that caused his disappearance, is what changed your future. I just can't tell who that person could be or what that decision was. I know Edward will be tracking traces of Embry. I know Edward. He will also check out the tracks of the vampire. If we are lucky, maybe he will have stopped in a public place and Edward can get a description, but that might be a long shot. The best I have right now is speculation."

"Okay, call me if anything changes. I'll talk to you then." I said.

"Bye Bella." And the call ended.

I covered my eyes with my forearm, still holding the phone in my hand. What if Alice is right? The facts that I knew for sure were Embry was in British Columbia. At the time he went missing, he was in wolf form. So what if a hunter saw him and shot him. My heart sank. It wouldn't 

happen that way. With their heightened senses, a random human hunter would never be able to sneak up on a werewolf. What if the hunter was a vampire? No, that wouldn't work either. Embry would smell him. Unless he could mask his scent like Jacob masked my scent leaving the clearing. Maybe it was possible, but what would a vampire use to mask their scent. Maybe I'm totally off base. What if Jacob saw Embry, was so happy to see him, ran at him, causing him to hit his head, knocking him out. Maybe he just hadn't come to yet. No, werewolves are too tough to get knocked out. That was just stupid. My head felt heavy trying to guess what might have happened. I let it roll to the side, facing the back of the couch.

I was standing in the dense forest again. It was so thick only small slivers of moonlight made it down through the canopy. It was quiet, almost too still. I saw a large shadow dart between the trees in the distance. I heard panting. There was another movement, farther away, just on the edge of my sight. I kept turning around where I stood, each time catching the briefest glimpse of something flashing from point A to point B. The movements were so far apart I guessed that maybe there were two of them. They seemed to be circling me but not getting closer. "Edward" I called out. There was no response. In my other dreams, I could hear water hitting a beach. There was none of that now.

I stood there waiting for more movements. I was going to be quicker. I was going to catch it in motion. I heard the panting from behind. I turned and saw him. It was my Sun in his wolf form, sitting off in the distance, watching me. I couldn't see the color of his coat in the dim light but his face, his eyes were all Jacob. There was panting to my right a little bit closer than Jacob was. It was Embry. His coat was easier to discern. The grey in his coat captured a little of the light. I felt no fear. They were just sitting there watching me. Jacob rose to his feet, tilted his head and sniffed the air. In an instant he turned and bolted away. "Jacob, wait!" I yelled reaching after him. I turned to look to Embry, to ask him to follow him, bring him back. He was now on all fours, hair on his back standing up, his teeth bared, growling at me. He took one slow step towards me, then another. He was running full speed at me; the most sinister rumble coming from inside him. I covered my head ducking down, hoping it would be fast and wouldn't hurt much. I heard a sound like a small explosion and then a whizzing noise. It was followed by a painful yelp, then feet landing with great weight. Embry was behind me. He must have jumped over me. Just missing me. He was putting himself between me and something. He walked farther into the woods away from me. He was staggering. His head was lolling. Then he fell. Was he dead? Had he died? What was it? I yelled his name and stood up straight, ready to run to his still form on the ground.

I was sitting up, barely on the edge of the couch. I had practically fallen off when I yelled "Embry". Emmett had his hands on my shoulders, steadying me, keeping me from hitting the floor. Rose was kneeling behind him her eyes surveying, looking for signs of insanity. It only took a minute for me to get my breathing under control and realize where I was. "I'm fine. Just a bad dream, nothing new for me. I'm sure Edward has told you about them." I said trying to play it off as a common event. I scooted back on the couch smoothing out my hair with my fingers.

"Actually, no, he feels like he's betraying confidences." She said with a small smirk. "Do you have these dreams a lot? You were quite vocal."

"I don't know. Sometimes, I don't always wake up. I don't think I always remember. What did I say?"

"You said Edward and then Jacob, wait and then Embry. That's all." Emmett said.

"Huh," was my reply. I hoped lack of explanation would stop any more questions.

"Well, tell us what happened." Rosalie said impatient.

"Edward wasn't in my dream. I heard something, thought it was him but it wasn't. It was two wolves. It was Jacob and Embry. Then Jacob ran off. Embry went running at me but it wasn't me he wanted, it was something else. Then he fell, like he died."

"Huh," Emmett said it this time.

"You know, dreams are not always literal. Edward wasn't in my dream because he's away from me right now. Jacob took off in my dream because that's what he did. He took off. Embry… I don't know. Maybe I just fear the worst. It doesn't mean anything." I wished I knew more real details. I looked over the couch for the phone I knew I had before I fell asleep. It was stuck between the cushions. I checked it. No messages. The phone said it was after eight o'clock. I looked at the view out the back. The sky was still a grey haze, overcast, but maybe getting darker.

"Yeah, you've been sleeping most of the day, but you were up most of the night. We really screwed up your days and nights, huh? I have to admit you're a lot more interesting awake. Well, except for the last part. That was weird." Emmett stated.

"Yes, I agree, weird." I stood up and stretched. "I'm going out back, to get some fresh air. I've got my phone but if he calls one of you or if Alice calls…."

"Bella, we will. Don't worry." Rosalie confirmed.

Once I was outside and able to clear my head, things didn't seem so grim. My dreams had a tendency for the dramatic. I walked down the path to the beach. There were no fallen trees washed ashore that you could sit on. There needed to be something to sit on. I would have to tell Edward. I bent down looking for the perfect flat stone. A flock of geese flew overhead, across the lake to the other side, landing, preparing for the coming night. It was definitely, dusk. I threw my stone. It plopped into the water, not one skip. Jacob would have laughed, making some comment like "nice going Swan".

I walked back up to the house. There was a flower bed on the side of the house. I went to admire Esme's work. She had created a bed of wild flowers, in colors of white and yellow, like in Edward's meadow, our meadow. In the center was a trellis shaped like a heart with two flowering vines creeping up to meet in the middle. One had golden flowers, the other pure white. There was not much to smell, just the delicate explosions of color. I walked back to the front and settled into the swing on the porch. I sat in the middle, hoping I would not miss the one who should be sitting beside me.

I was swinging, enjoying the sound of the chain above rubbing against the hook supporting me. The front door opened very abruptly. I didn't see her come out. Rosalie was just there standing at the top of the steps. Staring into the almost dark, up the drive, her right hand outstretched, indicating I should stay where I was. I wanted to speak. Ask what was going on. Was Edward back? I was too afraid to move. Rosalie moved to stand between me and the railing. Emmett was now standing at the top of the porch stairs.

In a very calm voice, Rosalie announced "Good evening, Tonya, Irina. We weren't expecting you." Those two names made my heart start to race. I looked at Rosalie. She was facing away. I couldn't see around her. Emmett was still looking up the drive.

"Rose, Emmett, it's you. You've bought a private retreat, for just the two of you. How sweet. Is Eleazar and Katrina here?"

"No, they are not here right now. Tonya, I'm very sure you are aware this is Edward's place." Rose replied.

"Really, well, I had heard something along those lines. Is he going solo for a while? Something in Washington set him off again?" Her comments were snide almost smug. My stomach became vocal, expressing its protest to emptiness, exposing me. "What have we here? Who's your friend?" she said stepping up into my line of sight with Irina close behind. She was exactly like Edward said. Strawberry blond and just as beautiful as any other vampire I had met. What she also had was curves, curves in all the right places. She wasn't overly endowed but she was ample there too. I could only see a brief glimpse of Irina. She was very tall and slender, athletic even. Her light brown almost blonde hair was in a French braid. Her face was strict with prominent cheek bones and piercing eye. She looked like she arrived with a chip on her shoulder.

"Tonya, Irina, this is Bella. She's with us, part of our coven." I could tell by her tone that she was smiling, while giving her answer but I was sure it was a talent of hers to disguise her real intentions.

"What, Carlisle is adding humans now? That's risky, considering the rules."

"We are well aware of the rules and so is Bella."

"Really, so what is she to you?" Tonya goaded.

Rose turned and looked at me. I knew my eyes were huge. I swallowed hard, afraid of what Rose was going to tell her. "She's my sister…." Tonya's face smiled. For a second I was okay, thinking I could pull that one off. Then Rose said "in-law." Tonya's smile dimmed a little. I was sure I saw her nose flare a tiny bit and her neck and back stiffen. Rose added "She's Edward's wife."

There was silence. I looked to Emmett and saw he was smiling. He was proud of his Rose. Tonya was dishing it out, but now she had to take some. I wasn't sure how long I waited until Tonya finally said "Well, I guess congratulations are in order." She advanced up the steps. When she was right beside Emmett, extending her hand towards me, Rose stepped in between her and me.

"Tonya, I must apologize, but I need to warn you. Bella's a bit special and rather potent. It would be more comfortable for you if you kept your distance, for now at least."

"I see." Tonya said stepping back, lowering her hand down to her side. She gave me a look of query, like I might have the plague or something. My stomach rumbled again.

Emmett stepped back to stand sideways in the doorway. "Bella, come on. You need to get something to eat. Your stomach has been annoying me for the last hour." I looked to Rosalie, not sure what to do. She nodded her head to the door. I tried to walk normal into the house but watched them out of the corner of my eye. I made a conscious effort to keep a steady pace to the kitchen. Emmett was following me, but said nothing. I knew if he did they would hear.

"Please come inside, won't you? What brings you down this way? Don't you normally hunt north this time of year?" Oh, geez, Rose just invited them into the house. Was I supposed to make tea for them, as their hostess? I thought sarcastically. I decided I could find plenty to keep me busy in the kitchen, avoiding what was happening in the other room.

"Where is dear, Edward. I should congratulate him too." Tonya said as I heard the front door closed. I was shut in with them. Emmett was still in the kitchen with me. The odds were in my favor.

"He's not here, but I expect to hear from him soon." Rosalie answered. "So how have you been?" She was initiating customary pleasantries. Just then the cell phone in my pocket vibrated. It was a text message. Oh, please let it be Edward.

WE ARE ALMOST THERE. ALICE TOLD ME. EMMETT WON'T LEAVE YOUR SIDE. YOU'RE SAFE. I LOVE YOU.

I turned the phone so Emmett could read it. He nodded, shrugged his shoulders agreeing, seeming totally unconcerned.

I grabbed an apple from the fridge and began searching drawers for a knife. I sat the fruit on the cutting board holding the knife on top, ready to half it.

"Let me do that." Emmett said, putting his hand over mine and taking the knife from my grip. I admit I was a little too nervous to be handling cutlery. I settled on getting myself a glass of milk. I leaned back against the counter to eat and trying to hear what was being said in the other room.

I heard Tonya returning the small talk Rose had started. "When Irina and I returned to Denali, Carmen told us that Eleazar and Kate had gone to meet up with you in Anchorage. She said something about a missing person? Why would you get involved with something like that?"

"He's a friend," was all Rose said.

"A friend of hers," Tonya asked calmly but her intent was sharp.

"No, a friend of ours," Rose corrected.

"Really, do tell, if you don't mind my asking." Tonya was a steady match for Rose, I thought. Emmett, on the other hand, just seemed amused.

I saw light spreading up the cabinets beside me. Headlights were glowing in through the small kitchen window. Edward was here. I leaned over the sink as far as I could, peering out the window, trying to see him. The conversation in the other room had stopped. Their acute hearing would have alerted them to the vehicle long before I ever noticed the headlights. Tonya was trying to get as much information as she could before they came into the house.

I was instantly relieved when I saw him come up the steps, and then move out of my line of sight to the front door. I wanted to run to the door, throw it open and put my arms around him, but they were in the room. I knew for sure I was jealous of Tonya, especially now that I had seen her, but why? I could only attribute it to stupid assumptions. For Irina, I had a certain amount of fear. Once she asked permission to wage war on the pack. I had no idea if she intended to take out just one, to replace her loss of Laurent, or all of them. I wasn't willing to part with any of them. Today was proof that the Cullens felt the same way.

"Tonya, Irina, you came for a visit. Did my lovely Carmen tell you we came too?" Eleazar said trying to draw some of the attention to himself.

"Yes, yes she did. Did you find anything good? Rose was just telling us about the search for their friend." Tonya was being too pleasant for my liking.

"No, the results were not what we were hoping for." It was Edward's voice, calm and steady. "It's nice to see you both. This is certainly an unexpected surprise, yet I see Rose has been an accommodating hostess in my absence."

"Rose has been quite enlightening. I understand congratulations are in order. You kept a few surprises of your own." I heard movement but not discernable. Vampires are far too graceful to tell what was going on. Emmett had moved around to the other side of the wall to become part of 

the interlude. "You didn't invite us to the wedding?" I wasn't sure if she was just stating a fact, or trying to imply she was hurt for being left out. If I could see her face, maybe, but I would have to be in the room for that.

"Your right, I should have. That was very callous of me." Edward was using the tactic of give up and move forward.

"It was a very small affair, just immediate family and local acquaintances, to keep up appearances for anonymity. You understand?" Rose was now trying to defend her brother. I was so glad she was here.

"I guess I do, but it's just a shame. Weddings are such special events in a…person's life. I'm sure this one did not disappoint." She said.

"No, in my opinion, it did not disappoint. Now, if you'll excuse me a moment, I need to speak with Bella."

He finished his sentence and then he was next to me. His finger was to his lips indicating silence. He picked me up, and faster than my eyes could focus, we were outside standing in the middle of the woods. He slowly stood me upright, not letting go until he was sure I had my balance back. I took a deep breath and I was fine. I looked back to where I thought we had come from. I couldn't tell how far away we were. I couldn't even see the lights from the house.

I looked to Edward, his face barely visible in the dark of the forest. His deep gold eyes were scanning my face with urgency. Then he put his hands on the side of my face, moving in. I reflexively closed my eyes when our lips met. My hands found his waist. I stepped in, putting myself closer to him. Our lips moved together. My breaths came quicker and filled with his sweetness. His hands were on the waist of my jeans holding me firm. His fingers slipped up under my jacket, his cold touch made me gasp, but I welcomed it. He stopped, drawing back just an inch. "Don't stop." I said.

His mouth caressed my jaw just below my ear, moving down my jugular. His sleek hands moved with stealth up my back, still beneath my jacket. His breathing was rapid. He was inhaling what he could of me. "Oh, Bella" he said regaining himself. There was sadness in his voice. I tightened my embrace, trying to drive away any unhappiness. "I'm so sorry. This is not how I hoped things would go."

I looked up into his face. His love was so evident. I traced his lips with my finger and he kissed it. I placed my hand on the side of his pallid cheek. "It doesn't matter. We're together. We are fine. We'll figure out all the other stuff, but we are fine."

"I love you, Bella Cullen. You always amaze me."

"That is good to here. So why are we out here in the middle of the woods?"

"I didn't want them listening. We didn't find Embry. Katrina is sure now that the trace she saw before was werewolf. She is now attuned to their signature. She is still working on determining volume." Edward said.

"Volume, like how loud they are?"

"No like how many there are. Once we told her about Jacob being in the vicinity too, she thought she could just make out the differences. Unfortunately, Embry had not made as many tracks as Jacob which limits comparisons. We do know where his tracks ended. Katrina was able to tell by the age of trace that Embry went down and remained stationary in that spot for some time. There was no indication of movement on his part. There was a human nearby. Then one of our 

kind came and carried him to a vehicle, a van we suspect. At least we are pretty sure it's a vampire. Katrina verified the trace but Jasper noted that the scent he was getting was off. I know this news is discouraging, Bella. We will go back to Forks first thing tomorrow. Jasper has already called Alice. She has already relayed what we know to the pack. We will meet with them tomorrow to see what can be done from this point." Edward bent down just enough to look me in the eye. "Are you okay? We're not giving up you understand that don't you?" He asked.

"Yes, I understand. I'm fine, but why not leave now. Get back tonight?"

"Katrina saw specks, dotted traces, heading south maybe southeast. When vehicles are involved, it breaks the trace because the person is not making direct contact with the surroundings, the vehicle is. Apparently they have made some occasional stops, roadside. She is seeing these. We need to see what Sam wants to do."

"Okay," I said wishing this was all simpler than it was.

"We need to get back, to our guests. Are you ready?" he said putting his arm behind my back ready to scoop me up.

"I don't think she likes me much does she? At least that's how it feels to me."

Edward shook his head and I thought he was agreeing with my perceptions. "She doesn't know you. Her issue is not with you. It's with me."

"Well, it doesn't seem that way."

"I seem to recall a time when you were a bit jealous of her. I just figured by now you would have seen how fruitless that was for you. Tonya can be intimidating when she wants to be. It happens mostly when she is put on the spot. She doesn't like to be surprised. I guess maybe you both have that in common." Edward clarified. "You needn't fear her. She is just like us. Stand your ground. You are part of us. You are the best part of me. If you do that, you will earn her respect easily."

"Alright, I'll try."

"So are you ready to go back?" he asked again.

"Um, I guess. Can't we just walk?" I wasn't that eager to get back to more of Tonya's interrogation and skepticism.

"We can, if you wish. You need to know though, that I estimate we are somewhere between twelve and fifteen miles away from our house." He replied

I was admittedly impressed. "Okay, I'd rather go back the way I came."

"I rather you did too." He said taking me up into his arms.

Again it was only a matter of seconds and we were standing on the deck outside the kitchen. He put his hand on the doorknob, looking at me. There was one more thing I needed to know. I put my hand on his arm. I whispered as softly as I could. "Where's Jacob?"

* * *

I am writing as often and as fast as I am able. My best friend and super beta Lillie is proofing as fast as she has time to. I hope you are enjoying my story. I appreciate any feedback. I hope to finish this before the book comes out on Friday. I am close, I think.


	20. Chapter 19 Missing

Disclaimer: These stories are based on characters and situations created and owned by Stephenie Meyer, publisher Little, Brown and Company, and Summit Entertainment. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**Missing**

Pack

Embry had been missing since some time after Seth relieved him from patrol last night. I called his house like he wanted me to. He mom sounded surprised when I told her he was not with me at my house. "He probably stayed on and took Seth's shift, to give the kid a break. Let me do some checking. I'm sure that's what happened. I call you right back." I told her.

There was no way Embry would have taken over Seth's shift. He would have had to stay on duty with Leah. Leah had a way of finding people's sore spots, then she would pick at it till it bled. Early on she figured out Embry's. He had given up years ago wondering about who his father was. I realized it wasn't that important to him. Then he became a wolf. It still hadn't entered his thoughts. In the beginning, when you change, there is a lot to deal with. It is very painful the first few times, until you get used to it. Then you have to start learning to control it. It wasn't something that any of the guys in the pack would have even given a second thought about.

At first, when Leah came along, she was consumed with all of her own problems. Her dad hadn't been gone that long. Being part of a pack where Sam was the leader had to be quite unappealing too. She didn't want anyone's pity either, she made that very clear. She acted like she only wanted to talk about things we needed to know to do our job and nothing more, but it doesn't work that way. You can't always help what you think. It's just who you are. Then she started finding imperfections in us. Of all of us, to start with, she chose Paul. His problem was obvious, his temper. She'd jeer him by saying things like "you're going to kill the very one you're supposed to protect" or "If you can't control yourself, Sam might have to have you put down." Once she asked him if he had ever encountered a rabid animal.

The next on her list was Embry. He figured out early on it would just be easier not to associate with her or acknowledge her unless he had to for the sake of the pack. For the most part this worked. She quickly moved on to others. She never did take on Sam though. He knew too much about her from before. She probably knew that encounter would backfire.

The best she had for me was teasing me about imprinting on a toddler. At first I tried to do the same thing Embry was, totally ignoring her existence. Later I realized it was much more effective to revel in my own fortuity. "Well, at least I get to be there for her whole life." This comment wounded her. I think it had something to do with feeling deserted by her father when he died.

When I called his house it was about lunchtime. I told him last night that would be when I would call. He should have been expecting me. What could have been so important that he didn't go home? Maybe when Seth came on duty, Embry offered to stay, letting Leah have the night off. I could see him doing this. I picked up the phone and called the Clearwaters.

"Hello." said Sue Clearwater.

"Hey Mrs. Clearwater, this is Quil. Is um…" my first thought was to ask for Leah, to see if Embry gave her the night off, but then I knew, it would be much easier to deal with Seth. "…is Seth there? If he's sleeping, I understand."

"No, Quill just a minute. I think he just got out of the shower."

I only waited about a minute when I heard him say "What's up Quill?"

"Hey, Seth, you relieved Embry last night right?" I was kind of hoping he would say no, that he overslept or something and didn't make it.

"Yeah, sure I did. It was about thirty minutes after you took off. Why?" he asked.

"Did he say if he was going straight home or maybe over to Sam's?"

"No, the minute I got there he phased out and went home, I guess. Why?"

"Oh, I was supposed to meet up with him at lunch. I'm just trying to track him down. I bet he went over to Sam's. I'll try there. Thanks." I said and then hung up the phone.

I had no choice but to call Sam. He had to know, but man, first he was dealing with Jacob and now this. I mean, we just got to the point where our vampire issues had stabilized. Now all the issues are coming from within the pack. Where was the justice? I had to call him any way.

"Hello." it was Emily.

"Hey, Emily, is Sam there? This is Quill."

"No, Quill, he went over to Billy's. He should still be there. I don't expect him back for a while."

"Great thanks. I'll catch up with him there." I hung up the phone. I yelled to my grandfather that I was going to Billy's house to ask Sam when my next shift at patrol was going to be. I phased the second I got out of site of our house. Sam had removed the restriction of being wolf only for patrol. He did stress that we should leave Jacob alone to his own thoughts as much as we could. "He needs to work this out for himself." He said.

In no time I was at the edge of the woods outside the Black's house. I slid on my shorts, walking quickly towards the house. Before I reached the door, Sam was there, in the open doorway. "Quill" he questioned.

"Have you seen Embry?" I asked.

"No why? What's happened?"

"I'm not sure. Last night, when we were on patrol, we were talking about this theory he had. He wanted me to run it by my grandfather to see what he thought. I did that. It was no big deal. He wanted me to call him around lunch and tell him what he thought. When I called, his mom said he didn't come home last night. I called Seth to see if maybe he stayed on for a double shift. You know, letting Leah or Seth off, but he said Embry left as soon as he got there. He said he walked home on two not four."

"You didn't leave with him?"

"No, Leah came and Embry said I should go. Leah said Seth was on his way and he was."

"So how long was he alone with Leah?"

"Only, maybe thirty minutes."

"I really don't think she did anything. She didn't seem very talkative." At least she wasn't with me, I thought to myself.

"What was this theory he had? Was it something about our abilities? Something maybe he wanted to test out? Sam was starting to show concern.

"No nothing like that. It was about the vampires, yellow eyes versus blood eyes. He figured out the yellow eyes only trigger a need for a small pack. The typical three mentioned in the legend. Then he figured out that when blood eyes come around and keep coming around, the pack will grow. It really doesn't matter how many yellow eyes there are. He thinks the pack would only be three but if one blood eye comes around and is exterminated or ran off quickly, then the pack will grow. He said it much better than me but it kind of made sense."

"Interesting and quite plausible, what else did you talk about? Well, Jake was there, early in our shift, but we made the mistake of trying to make him talk and he phased out. I know you said not too, but come on Sam, he's our best friend."

"I understand. What else did you talk about?" He urged.

"We talked about where we thought Jake might be and how fast he ran to get there. You know how fast he is. It's so cool.

"Yes, he is fast, faster than I am." Sam said admittedly.

"Well, I don't know about that." I tried to save myself from stepping on his feelings. "That's it, then Leah showed up and I left."

"What do you think he's done, Sam? Where's he at?"

"I don't know. I need to go see what he might have said to Leah? Billy, can you go with Quill over to Embry's house? See if his mom can tell if anything is missing. Like maybe he packed to go somewhere." Billy had been in the kitchen, right behind Sam. He heard everything.

"You think he went to find Jake?"

"Yes, that's what I'm thinking." Sam answered.

"I phased on the way over and didn't notice him there. I know I would have heard him if he was wolfed." I said.

"I don't know what else to think, Quill. We have to check out what we can. Just go to his house for now. I will catch up with you later." Sam said running off into the trees.

When we got to Embry's house, his mom answered the door. She had been crying. Thank God Billy was there. I wouldn't have known what to do. Billy went with her to the kitchen and started asking her questions. "Is it okay if Quill goes and has look around his room to see if maybe something there will tell us where he went?" Billy said very gently. Mrs. Call just nodded her head.

I wasn't sure what I was looking for. I stood in his doorway. Everything looked fine, one big mess. That was Embry. He was a slob. So I decided to take a different approach. If I were going somewhere, what would I take? A coat, sleeping bag, a tent, but I wouldn't need any of these things any more. I would just phase and be fine. I didn't have climate issues any more. I would probably just take a pack for some food, maybe shoes and a shirt, in case I need to go into a more public area. I looked behind his door. Embry always threw his backpack behind the door when he came home from school. I had seen him do this many times when I came over to hang out with him. His backpack was gone.

I went back into the kitchen. His mom was crying again. Not real hard but there were tears.

"Um, Billy, Mrs. Call, he took his backpack. I bet he just went hiking. I'm sure he meant to leave you a note and just forgot." I didn't want to say anything that would make her start bawling.

"You see, he took his backpack. He did come home and, like Quill said, probably forgot to leave you a note. These boys now a days, they get in too big of a hurry to consider their parents." He said this to Embry's mom patting her hands. "Quill, why don't you go on and find Sam. Tell him that Embry took his pack and went hiking. I'm just going to stay here for a little bit. Come back in an hour to get me, okay?"

"Sure Billy." I answered and left. I knew Sam was going to be over at the Clearwater's so I headed there. At the end of the drive, I heard the discussion going on inside.

"I told you he asked about where I thought Jake was at. I told him the Coast Mountain Range. You know he probably went to find him. You should have let him go before now and given him limits. That's what I would have done." Leah said.

"Maybe I should have. Why do you think the Coast Mountain Range?" That was Sam talking.

"You know as well as I do. That one time he glanced at a sign. It said Bella on it. You were thinking about it after that council meeting. I went home and looked at a map of Canada. In the Coast Mountain Range there is Bella Coola and a community on some Island called Bella Bella. I told Embry it would be just like Jacob to hang around a place with her name so he could drown in his sorrows." She said sounding snotty.

"Great, just great, well at least that is a place to start. I wish you would have come to me with this. It's not that hard to pick up the phone." Sam was mad but he never seemed to be too hard on Leah.

"I asked him straight up if he was going to go look for Jake and he said no." she defended.

"Was that before or after you told him about Bella Coola?"

"I don't know. What's the difference? Maybe he'll find Jacob and bring him back, hope for the best."

"I take my responsibilities a little bit more seriously than that. You and Seth stay in La Push. That's an order, OKAY!" Sam said standing in the doorway ready to leave, waiting for her answer.

"Fine," was the only reply he got.

When he was at the end of the drive, I moved so he would hear me. I walked up to him and told him "Embry took his backpack. Billy's with his mom. She's upset. I told her that I bet Embry went hiking and forgot to leave a note."

"It would appear that he did, maybe even hitchhiking."

"Do you really think he went to Bella Coola?"

"I would bet so. Go find Jared and Brady. Tell them I order them to stay in La Push. That goes for you too."

"Oh man, aren't we going to go and find him?" I whined just a little.

"No, I need to be absolutely sure where he is first. I can't leave La Push unprotected. I'm going to go tell Paul and Collin. Are going back to get Billy or do I need to?" He asked.

"No, I will do it." I said trying not to pout about it.

"Quill, think about it. The pack's priority is protecting La Push. That has to come first."

"I get it but I don't have to like it." I said.

I picked Billy up and took him home. I told him what I heard Sam and Leah talking about. Billy never once looked surprised. He told me I should go home and tell my grandfather what has happened. Grandfather was no more surprised than Billy was. I stayed home the rest of the day. I phased a couple of times to see if I could find Embry's thoughts. Sam was there. I knew he would stay a wolf until he could contact Embry. As the sun started to set, I joined my grandfather out front in the lawn chairs. After a few minutes I found it much easier just to sit on the ground.

"I wonder how the wedding went." My grandfather said.

I hadn't thought about that since last night. I wondered if she really went through with it. Of course she did. She said she really loved him. Maybe love could tame the savage beast. We sat outside in silence for a long time. I reclined back on the grass looking for the stars hidden behind the clouds.

"AAAAhhhhhOOOOOOOOO!" That was Sam. Something was up. I jumped to my feet running. I was out of my shorts and a wolf soon after.

"Sam, what is it? Is someone there at the Border with you?" I demanded panicking.

Sam howled again and I joined in. "Everyone come to me. I found Embry and then something, I'm not sure. I need to have everyone here, now."

He howled again joined by seven more in chorus. I was to Sam first. Moments later we were joined by the others. Every pair of eyes was alert and attuned to Sam.

"I found Embry about an hour ago. I had gone looking for Jacob. It was too much for him not to try and reason with him."

"Did you tell him to come back?" I interrupted.

"I told him I would allow him to search but that he had to come back in the morning."

"Was Jake there?"

"No and I didn't expect him to be, today." We all knew what Sam was implying. Sam's head shot up, his ears back. He postured himself to defend the line. Jared and Paul did the same. I was so intent on finding out about Embry that I didn't hear the Cullens approach. They were still dressed in fancy shirts, vests and pants.

"Sam, is something wrong? Is there something we can do to help? We heard your calls." It was Edward.

"I don't think so, but you can give me some information, I hope." Sam replied.

"If I can, I will," said Edward.

"One of our pack has gone missing, Embry. He went to look for Jacob, to talk to him. I finally got in contact with him about an hour ago maybe more. I was with him in his thoughts while he looked for Jacob. He had found his scent and was following it. I had given him terms to follow during his search."

"Terms, what kind of terms did you give him?" Leah interjected.

Sam shot a look at her that could have lit a house on fire. This was the first time I ever saw Leah cower back.

"I allowed him to search as long as he stayed in contact with me. If he did not find Jacob by morning he was ordered to return to La Push. Like I said, he had found his scent and was following it. Then there was pain, a stab or a pierce. He said it was the back of his neck. I told him to run. He tried but he was getting groggy, disoriented. His thoughts were hazy. Then I lost him."

"How can I help? We owe you a lot." Edward said almost concerned.

"A while back Jacob told me he scented a vampire but the scent wasn't strong, no it was different. He thought the track was old and really didn't show much interest." Sam had never shared this with any of us. I wondered why. Sam continued talking to Edward. "Embry also said he found sparse traces of vampire scent along the road going north. Do you know of any vampires that have entered into British Columbia, specifically the Costal Mountain Range?"

"I don't but I might have some resources I can check with. I actually have a plane waiting and ready to go to Juneau tonight. If my resources are willing to help, we would be happy to go search and retrieve Embry for you."

"That is a generous offer but…" Sam started to say.

"I offer to do this for you because there are some friends of ours up north that hold some resentment for the extermination of Laurent. This was the first vampire you killed; the one in the 

meadow with Bella." Edward explained and continued. "I am grateful to you for every threat you have handled on both our behalves. We hold no animosity towards any of you. I fear my friend up North was misled and enchanted by Laurent, thus her feelings and intentions are somewhat biased and misinformed. I promise you that I will do my best to find Embry and bring him back."

"You will do this alone?"

"No, my brothers will go too. If I am able to persuade them, I hope to have them help. One of them has a gift that would be most useful in locating Embry. She can see paths people or werewolves, in this case, have taken.

"More like a hunting gift." Sam clarified.

"Yes, most would see it that way, but I think it could be used amiably for our purpose."

"Sam, do you really trust them to do this?" Paul asked.

Sam looked to every face in the pack, even Leah. Then he looked to Edward. "Yes, I do. Is there a way for us to keep up with your progress?"

"Of course, you can station one of the pack outside our home or inside if you like. Alice will be there to relay information. We will be in touch by cell phone regularly with her."

"That is acceptable."

"I'll go." Seth spoke up and Sam nodded to him.

"Seth will be there within the hour. When will you be leaving?"

"As soon as we get back," Edward answered.

"Good, my trust does not come lightly."

"I know this." Edward said and the Cullen's turned and vanished.

When I looked back to Sam, his head hung a little lower and his eyes were closed. He was exhausted. Without opening his eyes he said "I want you all to go home, except Quill, Paul and Seth. No one is to leave La Push until the Cullens return or until I say otherwise." He sighed. I thought that maybe Sam was questioning what he had just agreed to. "Go ahead and go home to your families. Quill and Paul, you have patrol for the rest of the night. I need to go tell the council what has happened. They will have heard my calls. Seth, go home, tell your mother that you are going to go be the communicator with the Cullens. Assure her I do not see any danger in being there. I hope you all realize now that we are not invincible. As a pack, we are a formidable force, but alone we are susceptible. Paul and Quill, I will be back." He turned to walk away, his head still a little low.

Patrol was tense. The situation made Paul more agitated than usual. I was just worried about my friends. I guessed it was well into the morning hours. I didn't have any idea how long we had been pacing the lines when Sam returned. He looked even worse than before, defeated.

"Sam, you look terrible, what happened?" Paul asked.

"Nothing, the council is aware of the entire situation. They said they support my decision to allow the Cullens to help us."

"Really, they did?" I said. I really wasn't sure how my grandfather and the others would take bringing the Cullens into our problems. I thought for sure most of them felt they were the cause of our problems. Maybe Embry's theory had merit. Who knew?

"So now we wait." Sam said in a sullen tone.

"Sam, you need to get some sleep. You're no good to us like this?" I told him.

"Yes, I know. I'm just going to lay here. You two keep patrolling. Wake me if I miss Seth checking in." we both nodded that we would. Just then Sam's head perked up, there was another wolf in our thoughts.

"Embry, is that you. You okay man? Where are you? Are you hurt? Come on speak to us." I pleaded. I was desperate to hear him.

"Sam, what's happened to Embry?" This was a voice I had not heard for some time. It was Jacob.

Sam told him what had happened. He told him how the Cullen's had volunteered their services to help find him. I thought for sure Jake would have a comment to make about that, but he remained silent. Sam told him the rest of the plan and about the council's support of the plan. There was another longer silence but I could tell he was still there.

"This is all my fault." Jake said.

"No, it's not. Embry made his own choices, just as you have. We cannot change what has happened. We must concentrate on the resolve.

"What do you want me to do Sam?" Jacob asked.

"Just come home."


	21. Chapter 20 Clarity

**Clarity**

Bella

Edward's hand cupped the side of my face, his eyes sympathetic. He kissed my cheek. In a whisper so soft, meant just for me, he said, "He went home. He's safe." He backed away and continued in a more audible whisper. "I will explain more about that later. Is that alright?"

What he had just told me was enlightening enough. Jacob was safe and home with Billy, where he should be. Edward opened the door and we stepped inside. There was a discussion in progress. This time the voice I heard talking was Jasper's.

"It was a tactical decision. You left us no alternative. We have to protect what is ours, the same way you would protect what is yours."

When we entered the room all eyes were on Edward. My panic made me step back and half way behind him. He reached back without looking, taking my hand and gently pulled me forward to stand beside him. I looked to Tonya for her reaction. At first she was irritated from the current discussion. Now the look was almost disbelief, like the relationship she thought Edward and I had, was not even close to what she was seeing before her now.

Edward and I walked to stand behind his brother who was sitting on one of the couches. "It would appear that now is the appropriate time to clear up some misconceptions. As unique as our two covens are, it is important for us to share what we know. Our kind is few. Up until just recently I viewed our friendships as our greatest asset. I fear our friendships have been strained by misinformation and false intentions from an outside source. I would like to expose the truth now." Edward said in a tranquil tone. He was looking directly at Irina. It made her uncomfortable. She was shifting in her seat. Tonya, on the other hand, was very interested. She adjusted herself to a more relaxed position, leaning back on the sofa where she was seated.

My hands were shaking. I was nervous for Edward. I was glad Jasper was blocking this part of me from view. Edward squeezed my hand in reassurance. "We all know about the treaty we have with the Quileute tribe. We honor it to this day. Unfortunately, Laurent may not have been made aware of our agreement, but someone he was close to should have made it known to him." Edward said with the same composure.

Irina stood up pointing her finger at Edward. I heard her lofty voice for the first time. It was soft and attractive; a tone with an underlying whisper, kind of like Marilyn Monroe. "He would not have harmed you. He was trying, trying for me. I would have told him if I thought it was necessary." If she were able to cry, I'm sure there would have been tears. She had true feelings for Laurent.

"Irina, I am not referring to you. He was in contact with another. Had he ever mentioned Victoria to you?" The mention of this name sent a charge up my back, making my hair stand on end.

"Yes, she was the mate of the other one he had banded with before coming to us. He was no longer with them. He said the other's philosophy was no longer agreeable to him. She was nothing to him. He told me he could see a life together with me." She looked down and then back up at Edward with sad eyes. "I loved him." She sat back down, where she was before, putting her face in her hands. I was surprised to see Katrina go to comfort her, when Tonya was sitting on the same sofa. Katrina had no distaste for what Edward had said. She had only pity for her sister. Apparently she knew what was going to be divulged.

"I'm very sorry for that, sorry that he lied to you. He may have loved you but not enough to dissuade his loyalty to Victoria. She sent him to Forks. He was doing her bidding." Edward said.

"And just what was that? What would Victoria have him do?" Tonya asked.

"She sent him in to see if we were still there; if Bella was still there."

Irina looked up, confused. "What does that have to do with anything, why him?"

"He was just a pawn. Victoria was having difficulties getting past the werewolves. I think she hoped, if she sent him in as a sacrifice that they would be satisfied the threat was removed, leaving her a free path to her target." Edward answered.

"A sacrifice! Who is this Victoria? What kind of callus beast would do that? Why were you her target?" Irina said with shock.

"Victoria had only one purpose at that point, revenge. You see, I'm the one that killed her mate, with help from my brothers and sisters. He tried to take something from me that I was not willing to give up." His words made me self-conscious and I looked down. He gave my hand another squeeze, telling me to be strong. When I looked, up he gave me a brief side glance. I tried to hold back my joy by biting my bottom lip.

"So why didn't you just confront her. Get it over with before she had a chance to involve Laurent." Irina was still searching for understanding.

"We were not around. My family had moved on to Ithaca. We were not aware that Victoria had returned to the area. I should have realized. I am to blame for underestimating her." Edward admitted.

"It is easy to underestimate someone you do not know, a brief acquaintance only." Eleazar added in Edward's defense.

"Yes, well, when Alice was visiting you earlier this year, she left to come back for a visit. That's when she discovered what Victoria had been up to. Unfortunately that was after Laurent's demise."

"Where exactly did she plan for Laurent to get to?" Tonya asked.

Edward paused and sighed. "I'm not sure, but I have had the advantage of seeing the wolves' memories from that day. Laurent was not as committed to our diet as you might have thought. It was difficult for him to overcome his traditional urges that he had lived with for so long." I noticed Jasper give a slight nod of understanding. Edward continued, "Since we were no longer in the area, Victoria changed her target from me, to Bella. It was all happenstance. Bella was alone in a meadow. A place she likes to go to. By coincidence, Laurent found her there. He was hunting. He told her Victoria had sent him to the area. He also said…" Edward gave my hand another reassuring squeeze. "…how upset Victoria was going to be for not having the chance to kill Bella herself. The one thing that Victoria should have warned him about, was watching him at a discernable distance. The pack waited until they were sure he was a threat and not a friend. If Laurent had not threatened to kill her, he would, quite possibly, still be alive today."

"Why are you so sure this is the truth?" Irina asked.

"What I was allowed to see were memories. From all my experiences, memories cannot be fabricated. They are the past and the past cannot be changed. The werewolves have a duty to protect human life. That was all they were doing. I think I can say, with reasonable certainty, that they would have a similar tolerance to you, as they do with us, if paths were ever to cross."

"And what became of Victoria?" Tonya asked.

"She was actually the one creating all the newborns. After your understandable reluctance to help us with that situation, the alliance between the pack and ourselves seemed an adequate solution and resulted in the desired outcome."

"Who killed Victoria?" Irina interjected.

"I actually had the pleasure. She was a bit too arrogant for her own good."

"So this alliance was the tactical decision you spoke of?" Tonya directed her question to Jasper.

"Yes." Jasper replied.

"It would appear that we have done your coven a great disservice, all be it not intentional. I assure you, if we would have known the circumstances of Laurent's demise; our decision might have been different." Tonya said humbly.

"It is in the past and something we cannot change." Edward said.

"In the future, I will not be so quick to put a new acquaintance before an old friend." Tonya said smiling. She looked like she might be relieved, like her opinion of Edward was restored.

"That is very good to hear." He said with a smile of satisfaction. Then he added hospitably,

"You are welcome to stay the night. I know the added company would be quite enjoyable. However, we will be leaving tomorrow morning to go back to Forks, to continue our search for our friend."

This whole discussion had taken quite a while and my legs were getting tired of standing. I noticed that the apple and the milk was not filling enough either. A leaned into Edward trying not to be noticeable and whispered "I'm still hungry." Rose and Emmett had heard me and started to laugh. Then I knew they all heard me because Kate and Tonya snickered a bit.

Edward did not see the humor. "Of course, this is our home. Go ahead."

The laughter was short lived and I excused myself. While I was fixing myself a bowl of cereal, I thought I glimpsed two people go out the back. As I walked back to the other room, I saw Emmett and Rose down at the beach, cuddling in the moonlight. That could have been Edward and I, if we hadn't had a house full of guests. I really wanted to take my bowl into the media room to eat and watch television, but that would be rude. I didn't want Tonya to think any less of me than she already did. I walked back into the room and seated myself at the table facing the room full of guests. Edward came to sit in the chair beside me.

Eleazar was telling Irina and Tonya about the steps they had taken today, trying to locate Embry. He also outlined all the problems they had, too. Tonya had definitely become sympathetic to the problem. While I ate, I noticed several looks from Irina, Kate and Tonya. Eleazar and Jasper had their backs to me. They seemed intrigued by watching me eat. I shrugged it off, relating it back to some of the times Edward had watched me eat at Charlie's. It was all just a matter of taste.

When I was done, Edward followed me into the kitchen. I did the usual clean up, but Edward dried my dishes and put them away. He lifted me, up sitting me onto the counter. I could hear the conversation continuing in the other room. "I noticed the luggage is still downstairs. I take it you haven't seen the upstairs?" Edward asked. I wasn't sure if he was concerned that I hadn't toured the whole house or happy that I saved some of it for him to show me. I felt better believing the later.

"No, I was waiting for you to show me that." I replied kissing him on the cheek.

"It's about two o'clock in the morning. I think now is a good time to show you. Would you join me, Mrs. Cullen?" Edward was enjoying this part.

I followed Edward over to where the luggage was sitting. He picked up a few of the cases and turned to our guest. "If you would excuse us, I'm going to show Bella where to put her things." He waited at the bottom of the step for me to go up ahead of him. There were three doors in the hallway. The first was open and I looked inside. It was cozy. It had a navy sofa and a wing back chair with a reading table beside it. There was a roll top desk with a laptop sitting on it. "Guest room," Edward clarified.

"No bed. Only vampire guests allowed?" I asked, just making sure.

"The sofa is a sleeper. I've read that guests don't stay as long when they have to sleep on those. Not that I would know."

"Clever," was my response. At the end of the hall there was a door on either side. On the same side as the guest room was a bathroom. It was the run of the mile blue and white bathroom, nothing special.

The door on the other side was closed. Edward set down the luggage. He held out his arms to me. "May I?" he asked.

With confusion I said "Sure, I guess."

Then he scooped me up in his arms. "Since I wasn't here to do this at the front door, I believe this is the next best thing." He dipped me just enough to turn the knob opening the door.

The room was perfect. There was a deep purple suede sofa with a matching ottoman in front of it. Each wall flanking the door had floor to ceiling book cases. The bed angled in the corner of the room was exactly like the one in his room back home, but this one had all its flowers on the headboard. The bedspread looked like it was velvet in a rich eggplant color that matched the sofa. The walls were painted ochre and the waxy finish made them glisten in the light from the sconces. From the window, I could see the moon reflected in the water of the lake beyond. I would have many nights with Edward right here. I turned to face him, putting my arms around his neck. "It is magnificent. I love you."

"I had every intention of us being alone. I know what I promised you." He said setting my feet on the floor.

For the second time that night, I put my finger to his lips and he kissed it. "No more apologies. This is what happens with us, sometimes. Its okay, we will have our time. We have to, before I'm 19." Edward smiled at me. I noticed he became slightly tense.

"You need to get some sleep. We will leave early tomorrow. You go take your shower. I will wait for you here." He turned toward my suitcase, sitting on a bench, at the foot of the bed. He turned back around, handing me everything I usually took with me for my human moments.

I started to walk to the bathroom, when I remembered what I had on. I stopped. I checked my embarrassment and sheepishly told him. "I need some help." Still facing away from him, I raised the back of my jacket, exposing the lacy constrictor adorned with multiple hooks and eyes. In an instant I felt his icy fingers release me from my captive. "Thank you." I said.

He was right; the shower was just what I needed. I had no competition for hot water either. I stood under the cascading waters coming from what I thought was a rain shower head. The earth tones of the stone tiles made the space feel even warmer in the steam filled room. I wrapped myself in a plush towel and sat on the side of the tub drying my hair. I had my comb in hand and noticed I 

had no clothes, other than what I had taken off. I opened the bathroom door and was shocked to see Edward waiting with my pajamas in his hand. He was smiling. "Feeling better?" He asked.

"Yes, better." I answered.

I returned to the bathroom. The last thing I did was brush my teeth. I stood there watching myself go through the routine. It seemed like such a natural normal thing, brushing your teeth. After I finished, I continued to look at myself in the immense mirror. I pulled my lips back, exposing my teeth and ran my tongue across them. I leaned closer to the mirror. My brown eyes were familiar and, with closer inspection, I saw the tiniest flecks of gold in them. I imagined this gold spreading over the brown like spilled paint. I touched the skin below my eyes. It was the same pale as the rest of my face, but soon it would take on shades of darker hues. I looked at my hands and knew they would become stronger, for a while, stronger than Emmett's. More importantly, I would no longer be fragile. I would be closer to Edward's equal, closer to his perfection.

Yet, for all his perfection and intensified abilities, he had doubts, frustrations and insecurities of his own. This was his humanity. I saw these same qualities in Carlisle, Esme and even the others. It was a respect for human life. No more like a reverence. Had it been the choice they were denied that made them revere the human lifespan? How would it feel, to know that the only way you would die, would be through physical aggression? I didn't want to think about that. I didn't want to die. I wanted to be with Edward forever and he wanted to be with me. We would live together, never contemplating death.

Never was an absolute and nothing was ever absolute. Renee would die someday and so would Charlie. Everyone knows this. For humans, it is expected. I remembered when my grandmother died. Renee was sad but often said "she enjoyed the time she had. She lived her life well." It made more sense to me now why Carlisle chose the profession he did. He was living his life well, assisting humanity. For all it was worth, I wanted to find a way to do the same. I just didn't know how yet. I would find a way to help. I tried to think of people who needed my help. My heart dropped and all I thought of was Embry.

I couldn't help myself. I cried for him, for the uncertainty of his future, of his life. We had no idea what had happened to him. There was some relief in knowing that Jacob had gone home, but at what price? Jacob would never make that trade. Who would do this? The pack only existed to protect. It would never be their intent to seek out confrontations. The Quileute people are peaceful. He didn't deserve this.

"Bella, may I come in?" Edward was at the door.

"Yes." I sniffled. I looked at myself in the mirror, wiping away the tears from my red puffy eyes. I willed myself to stop crying.

He came and sat beside me, holding me. He never asked what was wrong. He just held me. When I yawned, he picked me up and took me to our bed. The comfort of the bed and him beside me was all I needed to let my exhaustion take over. In my wistful slumber, I heard him say "Sleep, my Bella and know that I will make things right again, for you."

I awoke unsure of where I was. There was a dim light coming from the hall way. I touched the velvet cover, remembering. Edward was not beside me where he was before. I sat up, listening intently. I heard low voices coming from down the hall.  
"Edward, I understand you have feelings for her, but the position you have put yourself in. Why couldn't you just be satisfied with our own kind?" It was Tonya.

"It's not an issue of kinds. It has nothing to do with that. You know as well as I do how lonely this existence can be. It can be mind numbing. What I have with her is more than just satisfaction. As for the position I'm in, I'm her husband."

"It's ridiculous. You can't be the kind of husband she needs. You are more than she can handle. She may be more than you can handle. Do you know… does she know the potential danger she is in? You've taken this too far. How do you expect to protect her? The easiest thing would be to change her. Is Carlisle willing to do that for you? Do you really think she would want that?"

Edward did not answer her. I imagined his face tensed with a mixture of anger and control. Tonya was going where it was none of her business.

In a louder shocked tone, Tonya said "She does want that and Carlisle is going to do it?"

"Please, I don't want to wake her. Yes, she has made up her mine. She is very determined. However, it is not Carlisle's responsibility." Edward answered.

"How very noble of you, but what if you kill her?"

"I won't." He defended.

"How can you be so sure? I see the way you are around her. It's the same with Eleazar, only he doesn't have to be so careful. She bleeds, Edward. Too change her, she will bleed. How will you handle that, being exposed to her blood?" she asked.

"I've been exposed. I can handle it."

"Yes, but to taste it. Does she understand what our venom will do to her? You know how painful it is, excruciating." She stated what we all knew.

"She knows that first hand and so do I. Victoria's mate bit her when he tried to kill her. He hurt her badly and then on top of it all, the pain from his venom inside her veins. Carlisle was there helping her with her injuries but I had to suck out his venom, to keep her human." He explained.

"You want her human? Why not just let the venom take its course? It would be so much easier for you both, now."

"That is not what I wanted for her. I didn't want her to lose her soul, her humanity. I even went so far as to leave her, but she wouldn't release me from her heart and I couldn't either." He said his tone fading.

"Okay, so you married her. What if the family finds out?" Tonya said smugly.

There was a long pause. Was Edward considering his answer? "They know. She has met them."

"Unbelievable. Is that the reason you are changing her? This is exactly the danger I was talking about. Does Carlisle know this?"

"Yes. Again please keep your voice down. All my family knows. Bella put the issue of her change to a vote, much to my disappointment. She received the majority vote. So here we are." Edward said with irritation.

"Really and just how long do you think the Volturi will wait? Doesn't that go against the terms of your treaty, too?" Tonya was too perceptive.

"They won't have to wait. I would prefer more time but I promised her. Carlisle and I are still trying to figure out what to do about the treaty. It may just come down to never returning to the Northwest."

I hated to hear him say that. I got out of bed, walked to the open door and peered out at them. I knew they would hear my movements. Edward turned when I saw him and walked to me. "Is it time to go?" I asked faking sleepiness.

"It doesn't have to be yet, if you would like to sleep longer." Edward answered.

"No, I think I'm ready to get up." I said.

I returned to our room, dressed and headed down stairs. Everyone was still in the same room, still enjoying each other's company.

"Good Morning Bella." Said Emmett coming up beside me and giving me what I thought was a very rough hug. To him though, I'm sure he thought he was being gentle.

I saw sitting on the table a glass of milk and two pop tarts. Considering there was no one else in the room that would even dream, if they could dream, of eating that, I couldn't help but see the humor. "Funny Emmett and thanks for thinking of me." I said snidely.

It had been decided that Katrina would come back with us to Forks to see if she could offer further assistance. Irina was more relaxed. She was talking with Rosalie and seemed a different person than the one I saw yesterday. I almost missed Edward going out the door with our luggage. For me, it was necessary to have, but I'm sure to him, the luggage was more or less props.

When I looked back to my breakfast, I saw that Tonya had come to sit beside me.

"You know he loves you more than he has ever loved anyone. I think, I see, that you feel the same about him."

I nodded the affirmative taking a couple of bites of my breakfast.

"I doubt that I could tell you anything about him that you do not already know. I hope to get to know you better, in the future, when we have more time and less pressing circumstances." I was surprised by what she was saying. She seemed sincere. I decided I had no cause to think otherwise.

"Thank you. I hope so too." I answered.

As I reached for my glass I saw every head in the room turn towards the front door. It opened. Edward was walking very intently with his cell phone to his ear. "You're sure about this Alice?" He asked. "Okay we're leaving now." He shut the phone and spoke to the room of vampires. "Ciaus has received a call from Viktor Solonik. He claims he has the prize he desires."

"Viktor, why would he be contacting the family? He has not been part of the guard for some time now." Irina asked.

"You know him?" Edward pressed.

"Yes, we are acquaintances. We originated from villages that were very close to each other. You know, similar heritages."

"When was the last time you saw him?" Edward asked.

"It was about five, no, six and half weeks ago. He contacts me every twenty or forty years to meet up. He's a friend from the old country. Why?"

"Did you know he was a contractor now? He freelances out his services." Edward added.

"No, what services?" she asked.

"Hunting and retrieving," Edward clarified.

"You think he has Embry, but why would Ciaus want Embry. I didn't think the family would have any interest in our treaty with the Quileutes?" Jasper asked.

"They don't as far as Alice and I can tell. Irina, what did you talk about the last time you saw him? Did he tell you why he was here?"

Irina's eyes grew big, like she knew what all the answers were. "I was distraught. I'm so sorry. I told him about Laurent and his death, as I understood it to be at the time. He really didn't seem that interested. He was just sad for me, I thought. He told me he had met another nomad that spoke of werewolf troubles, but she had referred to them more as minor nuisances than a real threat. I never thought it was the same wolves."

"Who was the nomad? Did he say?"

"It was just some female he met in Texas. He really didn't say. He told me he had come to Canada from there. She went elsewhere."

"Victoria." Edward concluded. "Does he still have friends in the guard that are active, That might share information with him?"

"I really don't know." Irina said in a softer voice.

"Who do you think contacted him, Edward?" Emmett asked.

"It may not be as easy as that. He might have just gleaned something from a conversation or maybe someone really has hired him. My first guess would have been Victoria but we all know that is impossible. Without seeing what he knows, I have no way to tell. Bella, are you ready to go?" he asked me.

I felt invisible during this whole interaction. I had nothing to contribute. I was just trying to absorb what had just happened. Viktor wanted to give Embry to the Volturi. Was he dead or alive? Were they going to use him like a lab rat and then dispose of him? I had to focus, not think about those possibilities. Edward, Sam and Carlisle would find options. They would do everything in their power to keep Viktor from succeeding.


	22. Chapter 21 Strategy

Disclaimer: These stories are based on characters and situations created and owned by Stephenie Meyer, publisher Little, Brown and Company, and Summit Entertainment. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**Strategy**

We landed at the airport in Sekiu after a three and a half hour flight. It would not have normally taken that long except we were following the main highway south, to see if Katrina could sense anything. The traces were still random but growing stronger. We were not far behind him.

There were several more phone conversations that took place in flight. Rose sat with me this time. Edward and Jasper spoke continuously, when not on the phone. Occasionally, one of them would go into the cockpit, where Eleazar was piloting the plane, for more discussions. Emmett and Kate were seated behind Edward also involved in much of the conversations.

There wasn't anything I could offer to help. I could only make out a few words they were saying because they were talking too fast. I had never felt more inadequate in their presence. I turned and watched the land move below us. I thought of the time I first met Embry. I was with Jacob in his garage. He was taking the motorcycles apart. Embry was a little shy. Quill was more brazen. Together, the three of them made the perfect pack of friends. I never really had friends like that before coming to Forks. You never know what you have until you risk losing it. Look at the risk Embry took. The risk he unknowingly took for his friend, an innocent sacrifice.

Edward's voice captured my attention when I heard him mention Alice's name again. He was speaking on the phone. When he hung up the phone, Edward was smiling. "Viktor has made a grave mistake. The queen may have just become the pawn." Edward sat back in his seat, contemplating whatever it was he had just heard. "Now we just need to find him." When I looked away from him, I saw that the other three were looking at me, at my reaction. Rose was stoic and looking straight forward.

After a second the gazes all turned away. I couldn't stand the suspense. "Rose, what just happened? Did I miss something?"

"I'm not sure, but it would appear that what Viktor thinks is a prize, is not a prize to Ciaus. Unfortunately an emissary team has been dispatched. So we might need to act quickly." Edward glared at Rose. Then he looked at me and his expression had changed. His face was almost desperate. Was he doubtful that they could find Viktor before the guard arrived? How close was the guard coming to Forks? I felt the plane descend as my nerves peaked. I would be sure to get my answers once we got to the car.

As the plane taxied on the tarmac, Edward stood eager to open the hatch and exit the plane. The minute he was out the door I was in hot pursuit. I was surprised to see him waiting for me on the ground. "Bella, don't listen to Rose. We have time before the guard comes. Right now we just need to meet with Sam." Was he really upset with her because she was being overly anxious about the Volturi or was it something else? "Carlisle and Esme should be waiting in the parking lot. I want you and Rose to go with them. Sam will be waiting to discuss and plan our next course of action.

Rose and I found Carlisle and Esme in the parking lot just past the hangers. They were standing by the Volvo and the Mercedes was beside it. "Bella, dear, how are you? How's your head feeling?" Esme asked.

"Better, there's just a big bump and it only hurts when I touch it." I answered her.

"It should be gone in a week's time." Carlisle added.

We stood beside the Mercedes waiting for the others. Esme leaned closer and in a quiet voice asked "So what did you think of the house?"

"It is so gorgeous and it's so quiet there. When there's not a houseful of vampires, that is." I said smiling, trying not to sound to sarcastic.

"Yes, well, I feel bad about that for you both. He had such plans. You know the house is wired for all the newest technological advances. You could do classes on campus or from home, whichever suits your needs. I thought his ideas in the media room were so touching."

"Touching?" Was there something I missed in the room?

"Well, there's no way you would know. You should have seen what it was before, when he first bought the place. That was just a screened in porch. He wanted you to have a library with the window seat. He added the media part when you had mentioned doing online schooling. It was lucky he found such a good contractor." Esme spoke with pride in her eyes.

The word contractor made me tense. Why was she so sure I would be doing online classes? Actually, online classes would keep me away from the general population. My mind shot back to my memories of Bree, the newborn from the clearing. She was so incensed, writhing with a lust for blood, my blood. Then I remembered Roses story of how she was changed. I remembered how she said it was. I remembered my brief moments of pain from James' attack on me. If the Volturi were coming, then it would be best for all concerned to make my change eminent and immediate.

"Rose, will you walk with me. I need to talk with you about something."

She had been watching for the others to come and was startled when I addressed her directly. "Yes, but we can't go far. They are coming and we will need to leave."

"Yes, I know." I started walking to the back of the parking lot. I did not look for her to be beside me, but I knew she would be. When we reached the farthest point possible, I asked "Can they hear us here if I whisper?"

"Just mouth the words." She replied.

Her instructions seem reasonable. So I began miming "When you were changed, how long did it take you to get control to be able to pursue Royce and his cronies?"

She looked confused but curious about why I was asking. She leaned in very close to my ear. I could barely feel her breath or hear the sound of her whisper. "About a month, maybe just a little more. I had my new family to help keep me in line. That helps, why?"

"If the Volturi are coming…" I stopped when I saw Edward looking at us. I knew he would know what I wanted from Rosalie's thoughts. His face showed concern and then disappointment.

We walked quickly back to the cars. I saw Carlisle trade keys with Edward. "Tonya and Irina should be here tomorrow. Carmen is picking them up." He turned to look at me. "Bella, I want you to go back to the house with Carlisle, Esme and Rose. I will join you later." He and the other four turned towards the Mercedes leaving.

I took two large leaps forward and said "What? Why can't I go? I didn't do anything to deserve this Edward. It's just a meeting."

Edward turned around while the others got into the cars. Edward came close to me putting his hands on my shoulders. His eyes seemed sympathetic. "Bella, Jacob will be there. Sam will need him to focus. It will be bad enough that I will be there. I'm trying to make this easier for both of you."

I hadn't considered Jacob being there. Edward was right. This was important for Embry, for the pack. This was the part I had to play right now. I needed to be the absent irritant. "Oh, okay, you're right." I said, putting on my best tough girl smile but I knew it was weak.

With his index finger, he lifted my chin, kissing me with the tenderness he always had for me. "I will come straight to you as soon as I can. I will call you when I know something.

When we got to the house, I found I was too agitated to sit still. I thumbed through several of Alice's magazines but I couldn't tell you anything that was in them. I stood in front of the open refrigerator appearing to memorize the contents without really seeing anything inside. Alice was already gone when we arrived. It was important she be close to the planning. Her visions would provide invaluable insight. I envied her; not so much for her gift, although it was very impressive, but that she was there.

Rose had little tolerance for my fidgeting and had retreated to the garage. Carlisle was in his study and that left Esme to play hostess to me. Every time I caught her looking at me, her eyes would wash over me, commiserating my anguish. It made me feel like a caged chimpanzee on display to the public.

"I'm just going to go up to Edward's room, if that's okay." I said trying to excuse myself tactfully, not wanting to hurt Esme's feelings.

"Of course dear, Carlisle has already taken your thing up to _your_ room." Her inflection on the 'your' made me smile.

Things were worse in _our_ room. If I were back at Charlie's there would probably be a small amount of picking up, laundry, cooking or maybe cleaning to be done. Yeah, that didn't seem to exist here. Everything was in its place, pristine. The CDs I had knocked down with my shoe, were on the shelf where they belonged. Our suitcases were, again, sitting at the end of the bed. I thought about unpacking but I had no idea where to put my things or if we'd be leaving again.

I went to the window, behind the couch and stared out into the Olympic Mountain Range. I leaned against the window sill. I crossed my arms and swallowed hard, trying to force back tears of frustration. My cell phone vibrated in my pocket. When I saw the number I was relieved and panicked at the same time. My voice cracked "Edward, what happened?"

"Bella, we're fine, nothing has happened. We just got here. Alice said you're crying. Are you okay? Where's Esme and Carlisle?" I hated that he was away but he needed to be there. They needed what he had to offer more than I needed him now.

"I'm not going to cry. It's just hard, frustrating, being here not knowing. I feel disconnected from the problem, from you."

"Alright, this once worked for me, if I leave my cell phone connected and put it in my pocket. Can you still hear me?"

"Yes," I said assuming he had done what he was describing. My tensions eased just a bit.

"She's going to lie down and relax on your sofa now, Edward." A perky voice said in the back ground.

There were times when Alice's gift could be annoying. I did as she said because I knew it would make Edward happy and I wasn't sure how long I was going to be on the phone.

I heard a door open. "Good morning, gentlemen. These are our friends that have been helping us. This is Eleazar and Katrina." Edward began.

"Kate is fine." Katrina added.

"This is Sam. He is chief of the Quileute tribe and pack leader."

"Thank you for helping us. This is Billy Black and Quill Atera. They are tribal elders and advisors. This is Seth, Jared, Paul, Quill, Jacob and Leah is not here yet. You will know her when you see her. Brady and Collin will not be joining us." Sam said.

Jacob, he said Jacob. He was there. Someone ask him something. Ask him if he is okay. Tell him it's good to see him. Make him talk. I need to hear him.

"What we know is that Victor Solonik has Embry. He's a contract hunter, a paid assassin if you will. However, we do not believe he has killed Embry. He has help. He uses mercenaries, the more undesirable the better. The trace from the Coastal Mountain Range to the vehicle he is using is evident. The signatures Katrina sees must be sentient. Alice has seen the contact made to the buyer, for lack of a better word. An emissary guard is formulating plans to come investigate what he has."

"This guy wants to sell Embry? What for? That's just sick." Seth blurted out.

"I don't think he is going to sell as much as gift him." Edward clarified.

"Who is the recipient he has contacted?" Sam asked calmly.

"There is a large coven of vampires that live together in Italy. They are known as the Volturi. Some of them are very ancient and powerful. They are considered royalty among my kind. They were the reason you had to leave so soon after our battle with the newborns. A guard had been dispatched to rectify the trouble the newborns were causing."

"How did they know the newborns were coming after you?" Jared asked.

"Their primary goal is to restore anonymity of vampire existence. The reports in the news will draw their attention. However, I have my suspicions that they knew the intent behind the army. I have considered that they let the army go as far as it did, in hopes of decreasing our numbers. Not the pack, as I don't believe they are totally aware of your existence, but my family." Edward explained.

"What do they have against you? What kind of competition are you for them?" Seth asked.

"We are different from most of our kind. Our diets, our ability to live together as a large family unit and the gifts we have tend to set us apart from the more traditional vampire. Some of these distinctions make us similar to the Italian family. They often acquire those with gifts, to add power to their status. It has been offered to some of us and declined. It may not have been well received."

"They see you as a threat?" Sam inquired.

"We have never presented ourselves that way, but they have little experience with those that are different and independent." Edward said.

"Good timing Leah. It's about time. Talk about different and independent." Seth snickered.

"Shut up you twit." She replied.

"Enough," Sam said sternly. Listening to their bickering, I could almost visualize the distasteful look on Leah's face.

"Unfortunately for Embry but fortunately for us, Viktor has made a mistake. He was seeking and thinks he has captured what he believes to be something the Volturi fathers desire. His arrogance has failed him. He baited the Volturi into believing he has what they want, but Embry or a random werewolf is not what they desire."

"What do they want?" asked Paul.

"Something I'm not willing to let them have." Edward said.

"Bella!" That was Jacob. He spoke my name, but I felt distressed by the way he said it. I was not in any danger. I was lying on a comfy couch. He should not be worrying about me. Embry could be lying on a concrete floor. He was the one in danger. I wanted to yell. _Fine so what, it's Bella, how are you going to get Embry back, _but I didn't.

"What is with her? Is she sugar coated or something?" Leah could never restrain her smart mouth.

"Leah, no more," Sam scolded.

"It's something like that. She knows a lot more than any human should ever know about vampires. Also Bella is an enigma to them. Some of our gifts do not affect her. They believe that she has the potential to be a gifted vampire. There is a certain amount of tolerance if the human is useful by Volturi standards. They have made their ultimatum clear."

"Huh?" I couldn't tell who said this, maybe Seth or Quill.

"It means, be changed or be killed." Why was it always Jacob with the revelations? To say these things, these things about me, had to be hurting him. This meeting wasn't about me. Why did this have to be discussed? There was a long silence. I'm sure looks were being exchanged.

"So what do you suggest we do about this Viktor?" Sam was speaking and getting things back on the right track.

"Oh!" That was Alice but she wasn't saying anything more. Everything was still again. She was having a vision. "Larson Air Force Base is where he wants them to come to."

"Where is that?" Paul asked.

"You would know it as Grant County International Airport, in the desert." Edward said with discouragement. "Jasper, why would he choose the desert of all places?"

"Abandoned air hanger, a warehouse near the airport," he stopped talking. I waited wondering what he was doing that I couldn't see. "…or better yet, how about an abandoned missile silo; there's one near Batum. They were installed back when the airport was known as Larson Air Force Base. I would bet that is where he is."

"If I could get close enough, say a hundred miles, we could know for sure." Maybe Katrina did suit her better than Kate. My initial impression of her was definitely flawed.

"Carlisle will need to get an ambulance. We won't know what condition Embry is going to be in. At least Carlisle can have what he needs to treat him. We can probably get there in two to three hours but it will take the ambulance longer. So they need to leave early and wait at a designated area. Emmett, take Kate and Rose and get close enough for her to confirm our suspicions. Kate, we also need to know that Embry is there and how many mercenaries Viktor has with him. If he's there, I want you to wait for us. Stay at least a couple hundred miles away. We're going to have to go in at night. Sam, will that make it difficult for the pack?"

"No." Sam confirmed.

"Okay wait!" Jacob halted the discussion. "He thinks he has something that will get him great things from these Volturi. He's not going to just hand Embry over. He's probably got that place booby trapped like Fort Knox. He believes he has the upper hand. He sounds like the kind that will do whatever it takes to win."

"Yes, I've thought of that. He is a hundred times more experienced than Victoria and more lethal than James. I need to get close to him. I will have to make him understand that what he has is 

not what they want. I am reasonably sure that I can show him his error. I was there last March with her. You remember what she told you, Jacob? I have the facts that will convince him."

"Okay, that might work, but what if he wants proof? Are you going to let him call the Volturi and confirm what you're saying?" Jacob asked.

I was waiting for Edward's response. I sat up in the couch. I couldn't get my ear any closer to the phone. My nose was itching and before I could help it, I sneezed, very loudly. The call disconnected. He wouldn't call me back. They were at a critical part of planning. I didn't dare call him either. I ran out of the room and down the two flights of stairs. I almost fell down the last five steps. I sprinted to the kitchen. "Esme, where's Rose? She didn't leave yet did she?" I said panting heavily.

"She's in the garage with Emmett and Kate." She said, not quite finished speaking. I ran out the door only to see the Jeep tearing down the drive.

"Damn it." I yelled stomping my foot and shaking my head. I hated Viktor with a passion. He took my friend, caused my other friends and myself a lot of heart ache, ruined my honeymoon and my time alone with Edward. Right now, all I wanted was to be a vampire so I could tear him limb from limb myself.

I stomped like a three year old back into the house. My rage was evident. In a tone higher than I usually speak in, I asked "I suppose Carlisle has already left, too, right? You and I are stuck here, what, holding down the fort?" nasty sarcasm spewed from my mouth directed all at Esme.

"Calm down, Bella. Edward will be back to let us know the rest of the details. I know it's difficult. We need to be patient."

"Okay. I'm sorry. That was rude." I apologized

"It's okay. I understand. Frustration is a hard thing to deal with."

"I bet there's been a lot of that since I happened along." I said, starting my own pity party.

"It happened occasionally before you came along, too." She said trying to reassure me.

I got up and walked to the fridge "May I?" I asked.

"Bella you don't need to ask. Our home is your home. Go ahead. What's in there is all for you anyway." It felt good to hear that.

"You know, technically, my home is in Juneau. This is the dreaded in-law's home." We laughed out loud together.

"So, are you ever apart from Carlisle, besides when he's at work and right now?" I asked.

"There are times, yes. I have gone to do some shopping for my restorations and spending time with my girls. However, I find extended periods away from him can become painful. I miss him too much." Esme said with a glint in her golden eyes.

I knew exactly what she meant. The random times he had left me to go hunting were hard, but how long could I go. I thought about the meeting and the plans they were making. What if something went wrong? What if he didn't come back? I had that same fear a month ago. I made him stay with me and it turned out for the best then. He had to be there this time, though. He held all the details that would be needed to convince Viktor he had the wrong prisoner. Viktor didn't have me. Who's to say that Viktor would believe that I even existed? If I was there, where he could see me, and he at least considers what Edward has to say, wouldn't he be tempted? The Volturi were coming, he had called them. No one would intentionally bait them to come and then disappoint them. He would have no choice. Why shouldn't Edward play at his game and bait him?

* * *

I have the story in my head to the ending. I am trying very hard to get it to type before midnight 8/2/08. Hope you are enjoying it as much as I am doing it.


	23. Chapter 22 Sacrifices

**Sacrifices**

Pack

I was finding it hard to face anyone and everyone. Mostly everyone stayed away except for my dad, Sam and Quill. Billy had only called Sam to tell him I was home. I don't know how Quill knew, but since he was knocking at our front door exactly five minutes after I got here, I suspected he was watching the house. He was so happy to see me, but I had no tolerance to return the sentiment. Embry was gone and nobody knew where. It was all because of me. Quill had no blame for me, but I was expecting it, desiring it. I told him he should be mad at me, blame me, or hate me. He just laughed and said "No dude. You're back and now all we need to do is get Embry back." He made it sound so easy. Why don't we just send a cab for him?

"Yeah, well, I'm kind of tired. I need to lie down." I said hoping he would take the hint and leave. Instead he followed me into my tiny room. I flopped; face down on my bed trying to ignore Quills ramblings, hoping he would just go away. He leaned in the doorway going on about how boring patrols were. Then he started telling me about some pull toy, a dog I think, he and his grandfather were making for Claire.

After about five or ten minutes of me not acknowledging the conversation and essentially not moving at all, Quill said "Hey Jacob, you awake?"

My dad came to my rescue, "Quill I bet he is asleep. I will tell him to call you when he wakes up."

"Sure, okay Mr. Black. See you later." And he was gone.

It felt good to lie in my bed but it also made me feel guilty. Where was Embry lying? Was he even aware of his situation or worse yet was he even alive. I never felt so helpless. Here I was, a werewolf with super speed, super scent, super sight, super hearing, super strength and I was super stupid. I ran away because I was losing a friend that I wanted, more than anything, to be more than a friend. Her choice would not have ended her life in the aesthetic sense. She would still be walking and talking. The fact was, she made that choice for her not because of me. Embry made his choice because of me. He wanted to help me. His choice may have ended his life. Lord, I hoped it wasn't so.

I lay there trying to shut my mind off. Trying to fall asleep but I couldn't. I knew Sam would eventually come by. When I heard Billy greet him, I did not get out of my bed. I rolled on to my back, putting my arm over my eyes and prepared myself for what he had to say. When I didn't hear anything after a minute or so, I moved my arm, seeing something I hadn't expected to see. Sam looked horrible. He looked wore out, sallow and defeated. I sat up in bed and just stared at him.

"I know, don't say it, everyone else already has. For the record, you don't look that much better than me." Sam stated.

I remembered looking at myself in the mirror at the end of the hall. I didn't think I looked that bad. Probably a shower would help and a hot meal. I heard and then smelled hamburger frying in the pan. Dad was cooking. He always said reunions should only happen with food. Sam backed out of my doorway and headed back to the front room. I stood and ducked through my doorway following him.

"Jacob, you need to stop blaming yourself. Embry made his choice. If he really wanted to go so badly, he should have told me. I would've gone with him. I might have been able to…" Sam finished, just shaking his head.

"Sounds like you should take some of your own advice. You know and I know, that you would have ordered him to stay in La Push. That is our duty." I said and Sam agreed with a nod.

"So, I need to know, why didn't you order me to come back?" I waited a while for him to answer. I could see he was unsure, struggling for the words.

"Bella didn't chose you and it hurt." He paused, taking a breath before continuing. "I didn't choose Leah. It hurt her and still does. You know this but do you really see it."

"That's different. You can't help the way you love Emily, it's an imprint." I justified.

"How do you know? You can't see in her thoughts. She's not part of the pack. You can't feel what her heart feels. You can only hope to see it on her face. How can you judge her love for him?" Sam spoke slow and soft. "When you last saw her, what was on her face?"

I thought about that day she came to my room after the battle. "Love and Pain," I answered.

"I expect she saw the same on your face, too." He waited for my answer.

"Yes," was all I said.

"You created this choice for her. If not for you, there would be only him. He told you he would have come back anyway. The Cullens have always tended to be in the defense of truth. You know she never stopped loving him and yet you gave her an option. If you allow someone to choose between a cherry and a strawberry, reasonably, they should pick the one they want more. Bella did not pick Edward because she wants you less. It was because she wants him more. The feelings she has for you have not changed, they just never were to the level of the feelings she has for him."

"So you're saying I never had a chance." I clarified.

"Not at all, what I'm saying is, if she knows all there is to know about her feelings, for every party involved, the only thing left for her to do is to make the choice. This is what you forced her to acknowledge. If she knows all this, then the choice she makes is the truest part of her. How can you fault her and punish her for that?" Sam finished and yawned.

"I can't." He was right. Bella's feelings for me were the same. It was me wanting them to be more than the truth. I wanted to force my feelings on her, but that is not how it works. I was such an idiot. Every plant in the crop does not grow the same and yield the same amount but you should be thankful for the bounty you receive. I had some big apologizing to do. The biggest apology, I owed to Embry.

"Come and eat boys." Billy said from the kitchen. He had made spaghetti and it never tasted better. While we ate, Sam told me that the Cullens were on their way back. There would be a meeting at the council hall as soon as they could get there. Apparently the fortuneteller saw that a vampire, who goes by Viktor, had captured Embry. He was holding him as some prize or gift for some royal vampire family. I remembered Bella telling me once about some royal vampires. What was it?

Seth was no longer at the Cullen home. Sam gave Alice his home number to reach him or have Emily find him; now all we could do was wait. Right when we finished the last of Billy's feast, the phone rang. It was Emily. Alice had called and said the Cullens would be at the council hall at noon. She also said they would have two guests with them that assisted them in their search up north.

It was eleven fifteen now. "Jacob, you drive Billy to the hall. I'll go over to the Ateras and let them know. Billy, if you would call the Clearwaters before you go? I'll get Jared and Paul." Sam said.

I didn't want to get there early and have to talk with everyone. I took a much needed shower. My dad didn't say a thing about it. He didn't say anything about the wedding either. I was sure he would have gone. Charlie was one of his best friends. He would go for him. Heck, he would go for her, too. Was he just going to wait till I asked him about it? It didn't matter anyway, none of that was important know. It was nothing I could change. I need to focus on Embry. I had to do something about that.

At about ten till we left. Billy said to park around behind the building and we would use the kitchen entrance. I could hear members of the pack and Quill senior inside. Billy went ahead and went in, while I stood outside the door.

I saw the black Mercedes turn into the lot. Then a flash went by and Alice was standing beside the car. When Edward got out, he was talking to someone on his phone and just as quickly, put the phone away in his pocket.

Alice was telling him about someone lying on a sofa. I couldn't imagine what that would have to do with Embry. I went inside and kept to the corner of the room. I stood against the wall with my arms crossed trying to look unapproachable.

The Cullens entered through the front door. Edward started right in. "Good morning, gentlemen. These are our friends that have been helping us. This is Eleazar and Katrina.

"Kate is fine." The female vampire said. She was just a little taller than Bella, blonde and pretty but not as pretty as that other blonde, Rose that's her name. The guy seemed older, kind of foreign, like a rich aristocrat. He had a pleasant, noncommittal look on his face

Edward continued the introductions. "This is Sam. He is chief of the Quileute tribe and pack leader."

I thought maybe Dad's spaghetti helped some. Sam looked like he had a little more energy. Sam thanked them for helping us and did his introductions.

When that was done, Edward spoke up again. He explained that the Vampire, Viktor Solonik, was like a hired gun, but he might be doing this job for himself; to get something from those Volturi. Edward said this guy called them saying he had something they wanted. I remembered she told me about the Volturi. They sounded like the worst of all the bloodsuckers.

He went on to say how there was a group of them that came right after we took care of all the newborns. I didn't remember any of that because I was injured pretty bad protecting Leah.

"How did they know the newborns were coming after you?" Jared asked.

He said they come around when things start to look like vampires exist. The Volturi want to be sure the secret of their existence stays intact. He also thought they had their own agenda against the Cullens and might have been happy if Victoria had had some success. I was glad she didn't.

"What do they have against you? What kind of competition are you for them?" Seth asked.

Edward explained "We are different from most of our kind. Our diets, our ability to live together as a large family unit and the gifts we have tend to set us apart from the more traditional vampire. Some of these distinctions make us similar to the Italian family. They often acquire those with gifts, to add power to their status. It has been offered to some of us and declined. It may not have been well received."

"They see you as a threat?" Sam inquired.

I knew they had potential to be a threat to humans but I never thought about them being a threat to other vampires unless you provoked them. I would have done the same thing Edward did for her. That James got what he deserved and so did Victoria. It was strange though that vampires on the other side of the world would be threatened by them, their own kind just a few variations.

Leah finally showed up. I figured she would have some comment for me, but Seth got to her first. Sam immediately put a stop to their arguing. I didn't miss all that crap.

Finally, Edward was getting to the important stuff. "Unfortunately for Embry but fortunately for us, Viktor has made a mistake. He was seeking and thinks he has captured what he believes to be something the Volturi fathers desire. His arrogance has failed him. He baited the Volturi into believing he has what they want, but Embry or a random werewolf is not what they desire."

"What do they want?" asked Paul.

"Something I'm not willing to let them have." He said.

"Bella," I said her name out loud. I thought back to the time she told me about them. She never mentioned anything like them wanting her. She said they got in trouble. They had come too close to breaking the rules but Edward was able to talk them out of it. Apparently he didn't talk well enough to get them one hundred percent out of trouble.

Leah made a comment insinuating most of the trouble was Bella's own fault. Sam shut her down. In my opinion, she was no better. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have been injured at the end of the battle with the newborns.

Edward explained why Bella was of interest to the Volturi. "She knows a lot more than any human should ever know about vampires. Bella is an enigma to them. Some of our gifts do not affect her. They believe that she has the potential to be a gifted vampire. There is a certain amount of tolerance, if the human is useful by Volturi standards. They have made their ultimatum clear."

Quill didn't get the implication. So I spelled it out for everyone. "It means be changed or be killed." Everyone got quiet after I said it.

Sam broke the silence asking Edward "So what do you suggest we do about this Viktor?"

Before he could answer, Alice started to say something and stopped. I had seen her do this once at Charlie's. She stares off into space, like she's watching a movie in her head. Then she tells you about it. "Larson Air Force Base is where he wants them to come to."

"Where is that?" Paul asked.

"You would know it as Grant County International Airport, in the desert." Edward said, like it was something bad. Then he turned to one of his brothers and asked him. "Jasper, why would he choose the desert of all places?"

He immediately started listing the possibilities. "Abandoned air hanger, a warehouse near the airport," then he stopped talking like he thought of something else. "…or better yet, how about an abandoned missile silo; there's one near Batum. They were installed back when the airport was known as Larson Air Force Base. I would bet that is where he is."

The new blonde vampire said if she could get as close as one hundred miles, she would know if Embry was there and Viktor, too. She was the one with the special gift for tracking Edward suggested that the doctor get an ambulance and have it close by in case Embry needed care. That sounded good to me. Carlisle didn't seem all that bad a guy but I knew he was a good doctor. Edward told his bigger brother to take the blonde, Kate, his sister Rose and head towards the Airport, to see what's there. Edward suggested going in at night and Sam agreed.

Something was still wrong, though I couldn't get a complete grasp of it, so I spoke up. "Okay wait, he thinks he has something that will get him great things from these Volturi. He's not going to just hand Embry over. He's probably got that place booby trapped like Fort Knox. He believes he has the upper hand. He sounds like the kind that will do whatever it takes to win."

Edward agreed and added. "Yes, I've thought of that. He is a hundred times more experienced than Victoria and more lethal than James. I need to get close to him. I will have to make him understand that what he has is not what they want. I am reasonably sure that I can show him his error. I was there last March with her. You remember what she told you, Jacob? I have the facts that will convince him."

"Okay, that might work, but what if he wants proof? Are you going to let him call the Volturi and confirm what you're saying?" I asked. I was expecting him to get irritated with my questioning, but he didn't. Then I heard what sounded like a sneeze. I saw his hand move to his pocket and away again. I knew that sneeze. Bella had been listening.

She heard all of our discussion. She heard us say Viktor had the wrong captive. She knows she should be his target. She probably already knew that. I wondered if she knew that when she first told me about the Volturi. I bet she did and was just trying to protect me. She was unbelievable. No, she was unbelievably stupid and self sacrificing. She could have told me. Yeah, I might have been mad. Oh, who was I kidding? I would have been more than mad and she wasn't stupid. She knew exactly what she was doing, what she could face, what she could handle. She didn't want me to be upset, too.

No one else seemed distracted by the noise, although I know some of them heard it. I looked at Edward accusingly. He knew I knew. He leaned forward on the table. I saw the glinting gold on his left hand. It was what I expected.

"First,we need to find him. If he is at this silo, we need to get in. Since it is abandoned, there is less risk of innocents being around. Jasper, aren't there plans on the internet showing the layout of the silo's interior." Edward was changing the subject. Fine, I would continue my concerns with him later.

"Yes." Jasper said.

"Sam, can you think of anything I have missed?" Edward asked.

"No, I don't believe so. I'm still running scenarios through my mind. I can't take the whole pack. Some have to remain behind to safe guard my tribe."

"I understand. I think we need to get what we have planned to this point secured. Would you be able to meet at our home in one hour? We can leave from there."

Sam looked at my dad and then at old Quill. My dad nodded approval. "Yes, we will be there. Again, we thank you."

"You did the same for us." Edward acknowledged.

I watched Edward, expecting him to leave. He turned to Jasper and told him to go search the internet for the silo layout. Then he said some things to the other vampire and Alice, but he wasn't leaving. "Dad, can you wait for me in the car? I have some things I need to talk over with Edward." I asked.

"Maybe I should stay." He offered.

"Dad, please, I've got this. I'm not going to start anything. That parts a done deal. It's in the past."

"Alright, I trust you will not be long?" He asked.

"No."

Edward watched Billy leave through the kitchen and walked towards me. "She can't stand not knowing. I understand how she feels. That's how I felt the times she was with you. She worries about Embry, too."

"I get that. Why didn't she just come?" I asked afraid of the answer. Did she hate me for leaving? Did she think I hated her?

"She didn't want to push you farther away. She has been waiting and that is very hard for her. Everyone has told her to give you your space. She is trying very hard." Edward replied.

Alice came up behind Edward and said in her annoyingly silvery tone, "Edward, she's doing it again. She wants to be there."

"What is she doing? Why would she want that? She knows we can handle this. We handled Victoria just fine. This isn't any different." I couldn't believe her.

"She is planning and things are different. Viktor is not Victoria. Bella heard me say this. I should have phrased my words more carefully. She heard your concerns, too. Your points are valid. She wants to be the proof, the living proof. To see her would be all the proof he would need, but I can't allow that." I could see his disappointment.

"She is going to fly off the handle. I'm surprised she hasn't called you back yet." I said to him.

"So am I. She is probably building up her arguments. The last few days have been difficult for her, for all of us. I suspect she would agree with Leah's perception of her. She feels responsible for all of it. She just wants to make it right. In doing so, I feel I need to protect her, protect her from herself."

"So what is she planning?" I asked.

Alice took this question. "You know she is blocked from Edward. At this moment I can't tell. For human linear thought, she changes her mind quickly. I hardly get a chance to glimpse her future before it changes again. She knows my limitations. Right now, I don't think she cares. She is trying to think of every option. Edward I really think you need to go to her before, you remember how she can get."

"How does she get, tell me." I demanded. I thought the rudeness of my tone would definitely cause him to decline my request.

"Bella can get drawn in by her emotions. When she wants something bad enough, her focus is unparalleled, but there is a repercussion for her. Once she realizes what has happened or the results are obvious to her she tends to… freak out. That is how she defines it. She has anxiety attacks of sorts. Considering the things she has seen, I'm surprised she's still sane. She is so remarkable."

"Yeah, I've seen one of those. She was so afraid she threw up. I thought for sure she was going to collapse but she pulled herself together. It was hard to watch. So where is she?" I queried.

"She is at our home. Charlie cannot know she is here. He cannot know I am here. He thinks we are away on a trip." Edward was just sparing my feelings. I knew he meant honeymoon. I actually felt bad for him and for her.

"Let me take my dad home and then I'll meet you at the end of your drive. I think maybe if we approach her together, a united front, maybe we can make her see reason." I explained. I looked to Alice, "Will it work?" I asked her.

"If your present, I have no way of knowing. You're on your own." She said irritated.

Edward was waiting on the side of the road just before the turn onto his drive. Alice and the other vamp were no longer with him. I could feel my nerves peaking. I was nervous and excited to see her. Excited because she was still my friend and I missed her. I was nervous about how she would react to me. How she would react to Edward and me. How she would react when we told her she couldn't go.

Edward was outside his car pacing. I had seen him do this on other occasions. He almost looked nervous, too. I couldn't imagine him nervous. He got the girl. She married him. What was the worst she could do to him?

"Jacob, good you're here. I need to talk with you alone." He began.

"Where's Alice, she avoiding Bella's wrath."

"Something like that. We'll probably have a few eyes watching from a distance." He turned and paced another time. When he came back to where I stood he said "Listen, Jacob. I need you to do something for me. I would ask you to promise me but I'm sure you will agree to what I propose."

Okay, this was weird. Maybe he figured out a fool proof plot to get Bella to stay. I hope he wasn't expecting me to stay back with her the way he did on the mountain. I knew the battle would not come here.

"When this is all over, I need you to take Bella away from here. You can't tell anyone where you are going. I know this is short notice. I will give you a cashier's check so you can get by. She has to stay safe. I can't live, knowing she's in harm's way."

"So you think she won't back down and will insist on going. So you just want me to grab her up and take her away. No I don't agree. I don't understand. What about helping Embry. I need to be there for him the way he was for me. I want to get a look at this Viktor. Can't someone else take her, Emmett or Carlisle?" I told him

"I'm sorry; I'm not making myself clear. She will not want to back down. She has her heart set on going, set on helping. What I'm talking about is after we take care of Viktor. I need you to get her away from the northeast, far away. She will be mad, possibly hostile with you. You have to tell her, explain to her that I told you to do this. Tell her this was all my idea. It will keep her safe. I will try to find you, but you cannot contact anyone you know or who knows me, telling them where you are. It will lead them to you. If that happened, I may not be able to get to you before they do."

"Why don't you take her? You're her husband. It's your duty." I couldn't believe he was saying these things.

"I can't because they will find us. Alice can see where Bella is when she's with me. That puts Alice in jeopardy. She can't see her when she's with you. So Alice cannot inform them of anything. For this same reason, you cannot tell me where you would go. Don't consider places now either, please. Jacob, I do this because I love her. Do you understand what I mean? I can't let the Volturi near her."

"I understand. She's going to hate us both for this."

"Yes she will." he agreed.


	24. Chapter 23 Reconnaissance

**Reconnaissance**

Finally, I saw his car coming up the drive. I had it all planned out. I would act interested; let him tell me what I missed, what the rest of the plan was. If I let myself get angry, I would make a mistake. He might talk me into something that was not my intent. I stepped up and leaned over the rail trying to look eager but not irate.

I hadn't been paying close enough attention. I was thinking so much about what I was going to do, that I didn't see him. He was running up the drive alongside the Mercedes. It was Jacob, here, now. Edward brought him back with him. He was always the saint, but wait a minute, what if he planned this as a way to distract me? I looked again. I couldn't hold back my joy. I ran all the way to meet them. They didn't make it all the way to the house.

The car stopped. Edward got out. He was smiling. Jacob was too. I ran towards them. My first instinct was to throw my arms around Jacob and hug him. I just knew he would hug me back, to the point I couldn't breathe. I stopped a few feet before the both of them. What I first wanted to do would be wrong. I turned and danced over to Edward. I reached up on my toes and kissed him on the lips. "Thank you." I told him. Then, in one big step, I stood before my friend. It was all I could do to keep my hands at my sides. "Jacob, I missed you. Are you okay? I'm so sorry about Embry but Edward and everyone…Well you know." I was babbling. My excitement made it hard for me to form complex sentences.

"Oh, come here." He said bending down grabbing me roughly, squeezing my middle but just barely too tight. We spun around and it made me laugh like you would on a roller coaster ride. When he sat me back on the ground, he held tight to my sides, steadying me to make sure I would not fall down. At my eye level he said "I missed you, too. I'm sorry for being such a jerk. I owe a lot of people apologizes. I can't wait to give Embry his." I looked deeply into his eyes when he said these things. This was Jacob, the one I prized as my best friend.

"So how was the wedding? Did you save any cake for me?" To hear him say these things made me want to explode with happiness. I couldn't resist throwing my hands around him, hugging him again. He had forgiven me. He was okay with me and Edward being together or at least getting there. I didn't want to consider if he had come to terms with my changing. For now I would just be happy with this.

"So I bet Billy's glad your back." I said, imaging the look on Billy's face when he came through the door.

"Yeah, he was. He played it kind of cool though, not making a real big deal. Now Quill, he's another story. He was there five minutes after I got home. He wouldn't stop telling me about everything. It was like sensory overload." We laughed out loud together. It felt so good to laugh with him again.

I looked over at Edward who was leaning against the car smiling and admiring us. He wasn't at all disturbed by what he saw. He was actually pleased. He was happy for me. I went to stand beside him, putting my arm around him so I could stand closer. He leaned in and kissed me on top of my head. Now Jacob was watching us. I expected him to wrinkle his nose at least, but that didn't happen either. This would be a day to write in a journal about, if I had one. Maybe I should start one.

I looked up into the eyes of my husband, who I adored, and said "Thank you again, for bringing him here."

"Well, actually, I can't take credit for that. Everyone is meeting here in about 20 minutes." Edward clarified.

"Oh, of course they are. Yeah, so what happened after you hung up on me?" I asked hotly.

"Well, first of all, bless you." He said being smart.

"What are you talking about?" I said confused.

"Bella, you sneezed. We heard you. That's why he closed the phone. Your cover was blown." Jacob was laughing again.

"Very funny, Black," I chided. I so wanted to punch him in the arm but I finally learned it would be better if I restrained myself. "So, Edward, after you hung up on me, go ahead."

"We will leave as soon as we can, after everyone is here and we have everything we need. I see that Alice has thought of a ruse that will get us inside. Esme is helping her with that as we speak. I am expecting Emmett to call as soon as Kate is close enough to glean their presence in the area. Jasper has found the plans that give the layout of the silo. Sam and I will review them trying to figure out where Viktor will stage potential traps and where he will have Embry kept." Edward finished.

"And," I prodded.

"And that's all until we hear from Emmett. We'll be most of the way there by the time he calls." He looked at Jacob when he said 'we'll'. My eyes moved to Jacob, who was standing there silently nodding his head, confirming everything Edward had said as the truth.

He wanted me to get mad, he was up to something. "Edward Anthony Cullen." I said slowly and almost calmly, "What about me?"

"What about you?" he asked back to me.

"I suppose you expect me just to sit around here and wait. Wait to hear that you got Embry and everything is hunky dorie. Oh, no wait! Maybe, I will hear that things didn't go so great. That somebody got hurt or killed. That would make me feel SO much better, because I stayed here." I was so angry a lump formed in my throat making my voice crack. I blinked back tears of rage. I was not going to cry. I looked away from him to Jacob but I knew he would be on Edward's side.

I felt his cool hands on my shoulders as I sensed him stepping closer to me. "Bella, calm yourself. I didn't expect that at all." I was still looking at Jake and saw the shock hit his face. My eyes flashed back to Edward. What was he saying? What did he expect?

"You can come. I figure one vampire backed by a few humans and some technology is not a match for most of the pack and six vampires. Your distraction, I anticipate, will prove helpful." He stepped even closer. So close his breath drifted across my cheeks as he spoke again "I only ask that you do one thing. You need to do this to stay safe. Just do what I say and don't hesitate or question it. If I say duck down, just do it. If I say run, then run. I'm not trying to trick you, love. I know how you feel about this. I just don't want you hurt, okay."

I was so shocked by what I was hearing that I could barely say "Okay."

He pulled me close into an embrace. I held on tightly, my elation warming me.

"Bella, would you go to Alice's room and tell her the pack should be here soon. We will need to load the cars quickly. Oh, and pack yourself some food. We don't want your stomach giving us away.

When I got several feet away, I heard Jacob exclaim. "What was that? Are you nuts! She can't go with us." I slowed my pace just a bit, so as not to get too far away to hear.

"She can and she is. Like I told you before, she would never have backed down." Edward said.

"Somebody is going to have to watch her. You know how clumsy she can be. We can't have her tip them off." He said rashly.

"I agree. That's why you are going to be by her side the whole time." That was all I needed to hear. Jacob was going to be my bodyguard. That would allow me to be sure that he didn't do anything stupid, too.

In no time, the cars were packed and so was my lunch and dinner. Alice had been working on finishing some cloaks that looked exactly like the ones the Volturi wore. She had started making them after we got back from Italy. She thought it would be fun at Halloween, but when she saw my reaction after the Olympia trip, she changed her mind. It was lucky that she hadn't thrown them away.

When Sam showed up with the members of his pack, Jared and Paul were not there. I figured Sam would have had an argument on his hands if he didn't let Quill come. Jacob was never at question, but why Seth and Leah. Sure Seth had proven himself and that was probably reason enough, but Leah. When I looked at her, she seemed different. She had been crying. Her eyes were red and puffy. She stayed back, away from everyone. I really felt bad for her. Then I wondered if she was in the right frame of mind to be doing what we were about to do.

"Edward, what happened to Leah?" I mouthed to him, once I got his attention. It worked so well with Rose before I figured Edward would get it too.

He did. He whispered as softly as I was able to hear. "Sam didn't want to let her go. She had to beg, grovel and resort to crying to get to come. I would have never guessed. She has a thing for Embry. The way she teased him, I wondered why she did that." Edward stopped when Sam approached.

Edward and Sam agreed it was time to leave. Jasper and Alice left first on Jasper's motorcycle. Alice wanted to get as far away from the wolves as she could. She wanted to see if any new situations were arising with herself or Jasper. She was also lacking a little in the patience department and was eager to catch up with Kate.

Edward was driving the Mercedes again. He and Eleazar sat in the front, while I sat in the back between Jacob and Seth. The Mercedes was usually roomy, but not now, not between these two hulks. It was really warm, too. We barely got out of Forks and I was asking Edward to turn the air on.

Edward was following Carlisle in the ambulance. Carlisle had gotten a hold of an EMT uniform for Esme to wear, just in case. Sam, Leah and Quill road in the back; I bet they were crowded, too. Edward and Eleazar were talking about Elezar's business dealings. He was into gem or antiques or something like that. I really wasn't interested. Carlisle's car rode so smooth you hardly noticed you were doing over one hundred miles an hour. Seth was glued to the window like he had never been outside of La Push. For all I knew, he hadn't. As my eyes grew heavy, my head listed over till it rested against Jake's shoulder. I felt his hand hold my head while he moved his arm around me so I was now resting against his chest.

"Bella, come on wake up. We have stopped to talk with Emmett and Kate. Come on, I don't want to miss what they have to say." Jacob said, getting out of the car.

The sun was still high in the sky. Edward said it was around five o'clock. The sun was due to set about a quarter of nine. We were at a state park called the Gingko Petrified Forest. The tall trees of the forest made it easy for the vampires to remain in the shade. It was near a town called Vantage, how fitting. This was close enough for Katrina to use her gift. She had gotten good results. She confirmed there were two vampires down inside the silo. She was also able to confirm one werewolf, too. That was a very good sign. That meant that Embry was alive, that he was maintaining some state of consciousness.

Jasper had spread out a map across the trunk of the car. He also had aerial shots of the silo site and a reduced copy of blueprints of the interior of the Silo. There was discussion about who would go in first, and who would have to stay back. Katrina said there was a human guard that sat in his car right at the road where you turn off to go towards the Silo.

"He checks in every hour on the dot." Alice offered.

"Good, then if we get to him right after he checks in at eight, that should give us plenty of time to get closer to Viktor, without him being tipped off."

"What about cameras or surveillance?" Sam asked.

"There are no cameras outside, yet. He had been considering it. There are only cameras in the access tunnels and only a few at that. Jasper can take care of them when he adds the static electrical charge thingy to their power converter. It will mess with their systems just enough to fuzz the screens so we will not be noticed at the speed we travel." Alice was really in her element.

"There is a guard at the main entrance." Katrina added.

"Oh, yes, there he is. He has an alarm button with him but he will not use it because he will think we are the guests his boss is expecting. Viktor really shouldn't put so much trust in these Neanderthals." Alice said.

"Alice, does this guard do a check in?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes right after the one at the turn off, but like I said, he won't even question our advances. He will tell Sergei in the room with all the monitors that the Volturi have arrived. Sergei is just past newborn but that mercenary mind makes me leery. Viktor also knows the Volturi have the resources to change plans to their advantage. He almost expects it."

So the plan was that Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Sam and Eleazar would present themselves to the guard as the Volturi to gain entrance. Emmett would be the last to pass and would remedy that complication. I never heard who was going to take care of the guard at the road but I'm sure someone had the task. Everyone would proceed inside, except for Sam. His heart beats to loud and would tip Viktor off. Jasper was going to go down a tunnel on the left to do his magic in the power house. The rest would go right to the control room, where Alice assured us Viktor would be.

After they were all inside Esme would then bring the Ambulance in close, park it in one of the two out buildings and wait to receive Embry. Seth and Katrina were to stay with Esme. Alice would stay with the others and enter only far enough to keep a safe distance from Viktor hearing them, in case Viktor looses faith in the ruse. I really didn't see where I came into all of this.

They talked about all of this for two more hours and some of the plans changed. There were weakened access doors where the antennas were located and one of the actual silos was partially open. The drop to the bottom of it was more than a hundred feet down, which really wasn't much for a vampire or werewolf who knew what to expect. It was decided that Sam and Quill would go in 

through the antenna access and still be fine because the concrete walls were eight feet thick and would hide their life signs. So now, Rose joined the first group but would join Jasper in his duties.

Edward brought me my dinner. I thought I had packed light but Esme must have added to it. It was a good thing because some of the pack was not opposed to eating. There were six apples which was just enough because Leah was sulking and decided she wasn't hungry. I wondered if she was nervous or scared, but I didn't ask Edward. I didn't want to embarrass her.

Jacob was doing his job and shadowing my every move. "Make sure she eats. Her stomach gets real loud when she doesn't." Edward told Jacob. He went back to mulling over the maps and plans.

After I was done eating, Edward came back. He said he wanted to talk with me alone. He said he had a few more rules for my safety he wanted to outline. When Jacob stood to follow, Edward said "No, its okay. I can do this one alone. I thought I saw Jacob, tense just a bit and then he sat back down.

We were alone in the back seat of the car. I giggled because it made me think of kids, who go parking in the woods, to make out. No one could see us through the tint of the windows. It would work, but now was not the time. I began to wonder if I would ever get my time. Edward still owed me that promise and one other. "Bella, you need to stay by Jacob no matter what, okay." He stressed.

"Okay, I know that." I assured him.

"You need to listen to him. He will take care of you. I trust him to do that for me." He paused, staring at my face like he was memorizing it. "Are you scared?"

"A little, but isn't that a good thing. It keeps you alert and aware. Wouldn't you think I was a little crazy if I wasn't?"

"Yes, I suppose I would."

"Did I mention how beautiful you were on our wedding day?"

"I think you did a couple of times."

"You are just as beautiful and desirable right now." He said moving closer to my lips with each word. His hand held the back of my neck. His lips pressed tightly to mine. I grasped my hands to his waist and moved closer. This time I moved my lips to his throat. My hands found the buttons on his shirt and released them. My lips greeted his cold hard chest. The definition of his form was sculpted. I drew back to look at him where his shirt was open and then into his eyes. He dove at me, capturing my lips with his. His hands were under my shirt, on my back. They moved with the rise and fall of my heavy breaths. He moved to my neck and I willing threw my head back. His lips traced a line down to my chest. He rested his ear to my heart and listened. I ran my fingers through his hair and held him. "Everything about you is so amazing. I want to never forget any part of you."

"You don't have too. We're married. I'm forever yours." I told him with honesty.

He sat up and came very close to my face. I thought he was going to kiss me again, but he just kept looking into my eyes, one and then the other. Then he said "I love you Bella Cullen, forever." He buttoned his shirt and had it looking the same as it was when we entered the car. He ran his fingers through my hair and then opened the door for us to get out. It was time for everyone to play their roles.

I watched the Mercedes drive away, with five from my family and my new friend. Sam, Quill and Seth went with Esme and Katrina in the Ambulance. They waited to go until Katrina saw the six vampires head up the paved drive towards the silo. The last four of us piled into Emmett's Jeep and followed Esme. Jasper would have to come back and retrieve his bike later, from where he hid it.

When we passed the car at the turn off, I saw no body. I wondered if they put it in the trunk. It was not long before I saw the two out buildings. Each one could house a small delivery fleet. We parked in the empty one. It was shady, but the heat from the day was still present. I could see across into the other building. I saw a cargo van and a moving truck with a bunch of broken down cardboard boxes all over the ground. The boxes were from some medical and veterinary supply company. When I was about to look away I saw it. In the farthest corner, almost hidden from my view, was the black Cadillac SUV.

It was Viktor I had seen, that day in Olympia. He saw me too, but had no idea what he was looking at. To him I was just another part of the dinner populous. When Edwards tells him of his mistake, will her remember me. Will he see how close he was? I felt a sense of invincibility. I knew it was a false sense but it felt good.

I turned to see Alice had suited up to go out into the sun. Her entire face was concealed in a large hooded sweatshirt and her hands were gloved. "So, are we ready to do this?" She asked.


	25. Chapter 24 Take Down

**Take Down**

Alice went first. I stayed right behind Jacob and Leah was in front of him. Jacob kept looking around for any of Viktor's flunkies that might pop up out of the ground. Kate had promised us the only ones left were below, three humans and two vampires. It looked odd watching Alice walk out into the sun with all those clothes on, but I understood why she did it. She would have been too much of a distraction.

When we got to the entrance, the guard was missing just like was planned. Jacob turned to look back at me. I knew my eyes probably looked really big, showing how scared I was. He took my hand, pulling me closer behind him. We went down several flights of metal stairs. I tried hard not to make my steps seem so resonating but after about thirty stairs I gave up. I never heard the others steps. The concrete walls were tagged with graffiti. It was evident that Viktor might be anticipating some unexpected guests but I figured he would view them as a welcomed snack.

The entry tunnel was really long and narrow. It made me think of the ribbed part of a bendable straw. It seemed a lot farther than the drawing on the blueprints made it look. There were a few lights on, sporadically down the tunnel. They emitted that constant buzzing sound and occasionally gave a flicker. When one flickered and actually went out, I thought I was going to jump right out of my skin. Jacob turned back to check on me. When he realized what had spooked me he just shook his head smiling.

As we walked on, I could tell Jacob was concentrating very hard on something, like he was expecting to hear something. The look on his face made me feel uneasy. I was nervous enough. No I was scared, plain and simple. This place was really creepy. It should have been evident when the word abandoned is used to describe a place. The air became cooler the farther we went down. The air had a stagnant odor, a musty stale smell, there was no circulation system running.

Nobody was saying anything, not even Leah, who usually had a snide comment for everything. When I looked at her, I saw she seemed to be doing the same concentrated listening that Jacob was doing. We were almost to the part of the corridor where it branches off, left, right or straight ahead.

Alice stopped suddenly. She braced herself with her left hand against the wall. I pushed past Jacob and Leah, to get to her. I bent my knees so I could get down below her head and see into her face. He eyes were open, staring at nothing. She was not breathing, she was perfectly still. Then she blinked.

"Alice, what is it?" I asked, knowing she was seeing more future. I felt hands land on my shoulders from behind me, cold hands.

"Alice, what did you see?" The voice was Carlisle's. He was supposed to be with Edward. Why was he here? I told myself he would never leave Edward in a bad situation. Edward must have sent him back to us.

"Viktor is not where Katrina said he would be. He moved. He is with Sergei in the communications room." Her head turned from looking at Carlisle to look straight at Jacob. "The Volturi have called and they are coming. Not today, not tomorrow but they are curious and making plans to come."

Carlisle spoke in a hushed tone. "Well, that is good, one issue at a time. This gives us time to consider our options for their visit. Now we need to catch up with the others.

"Shhhh." Leah hushed us. She was standing behind Carlisle, but farther down the tunnel. She started to quiver and, like I had seen it happen one other time with Jacob and Paul, she silently exploded into to her wolf self. There were no growls or snarls, just pow, a wolf. Her coat glistened and she was a grey streak running away down the tunnel.

I wasn't sure what just happened. I looked over Alice to Jacob. "Jacob, where's she going? What happened? Aren't you going to go after her?"

"Bella, I can't. I have instructions to follow. I have to stay with you. Leah is on her own this time." Jacob said with no remorse.

"Carlisle, she can't go alone. She'll get hurt or worse."

"I'm sorry, Bella. I have no way of knowing where she went and we don't have time to look for her. We need to get back to Edward." He said.

"I would say we need to do that very quickly. Viktor is heading to the control room." Alice added.

I felt rough hands hit the back of my legs. I was in the air and then felt his heated grasp around me. I knew not to protest. This time he did this out of urgent necessity. The air rushed past us soundlessly. We turned right and the corridors were brighter, painted in industrial green. We flew through a door into a room with monitors and panels with buttons, switches and knobs everywhere. Jacob took me to the corner just right of the door and set me down.

"Well, I guess they are interested. Their call has made it impossible for us to represent ourselves as them. I guess back to plan A." Edward said looking at me. Jacob stepped right into the line of sight, his legs set firmly a shoulders width apart and his arms crossed. I imagined him looking like a cigar store Indian statute but taller, bigger and even more threatening. "Thank you, Jacob. I appreciate that." Edward replied to something Jacob was thinking.

"In less than one minute." Alice said.

I expected to see everyone get into their crouched battle positions. I knew what it looked like to see Edward in battle. I expected nothing different from the others. They didn't move. Emmett was sitting in a folding chair with his feet up on the power board in front of him. Edward was leaning up against some huge computer processor thing. Carlise and Eleazar were standing like they had just finished a casual conversation. Alice had jumped up on the power board to sit by Emmett's feet. You would have thought they were all waiting for the mail to arrive. Only Jacob looked prepped and ready for a battle.

"Good evening. Might I be so bold to ask as to who my unexpected guests might be?" I heard a voice say from somewhere down the hall. The voice had a hint of accent like one I recalled hearing in a movie, Dr. Zhivago maybe. I imagined the owner of the voice looking striking, like the lead character from the movie.

"My name is Edward Cullen." He said extending his hand and walking towards the door. I saw an arm extend towards his gesture. I still could not see what Viktor looked like. From the meeting of their hands, I could tell he would be only slightly taller than Edward, if even that. "These are my friends, Alice, Emmett, Carlisle and you might have heard of Eleazar."

"Ah, yes. You are with Irina in Denali, such a quaint and secluded lifestyle there. How is she doing?" The voice said courteously.

"She is good, the same as when you saw her a month or so ago."

"Was it only that short a time? Time can be so irrelevant." The owner of the voice stepped into the room. He didn't look anything like Omar Sharif. He was like I guessed, taller than Edward by only inches. His hair was white and pulled back into a long braid. His face was sharp and angular. I could tell, through his expensive suit, that he was a slender man. His face looked young but his hair made him seem older. "And they would be?" he said, tilting his head our direction. Jacob shifted, trying to seem bigger, I think. I could see one of his hands clenched into a tight fist, fending off his shaking of rage.

"They are with us. Only they chose to be with us and we allow it. We do not hire or own them."

"I see." said Viktor. "I am curious as to why you are here."

"We know that you are a contract tracker and that you have been in contact with the Volturi."

"Yes, that is true. What does that have to do with you?" He asked pleasantly.

"It's what you have for them that concerns us." Edward said.

"What makes you think I have anything for them?" He asked.

"You do." Edward quit leaning and stood up straight. He walked over to Jacob. With his back to Viktor, he continued, "Aro is a common acquaintance between you and me. Like Aro, I have an ability that allows me to read minds. However, I don't have his limitations." He turned around to face Viktor ready for his next question.

"So why are you not part of the Volturi?"

"It was offered, but I declined."

"So you were the one who declined." Viktor said enlightened by what he had just heard.

"I declined, too." Alice said pouting. Edward glared at her, raising his eyebrow, which spoke volumes.

"Really, what gift do you offer?"

Alice looked at Edward, then to Viktor and said shyly. "I know stuff." Her answer elicited disinterest from him.

"This boy, what is he to you. Better yet, what is he to the Volturi?"

"He's a friend to us and nothing more. The Volturi have no interest in him."

"That is not true. My contact says the anomaly lives in this region, the one that Ciaus and Aro desire. I have confirmation from a source that this is it."

"Victoria is not a reliable source. When you met up with her in Texas, she was leading you on to do her bidding. She had no idea what the Volturi would want. She had never encountered them. I do admit, though, that a werewolf is very unique, but honestly, would the Volturi have a need for one?"

"How is it that you know so much about what the Volturi want?" Viktor's irritation was starting to show.

"I was there when they discovered it." Edward said calmly.

"You are not willing to tell me what that is. Are you?" He asked.

"Not yet. First I want to see my friend released."

"I don't think so. It may take me some time to find this item they desire. Since they are making plans to come here, I need to have something to show them or better yet a pair of them. Viktor stepped closer to Edward and pointed at one of the monitors. Emmett stood up to get a better look. The screens were fuzzy. Apparently Jasper had done his part. I wasn't able to make out the picture but Jacob tensed with understanding and apprehension. Edward and Jacob looked at each other, but Jacob did not move from his spot.

"So you plan to give her to the Volturi, too." Who was on the screen? Was it Rose, Leah, Esme or Katrina?

"Why not?" Viktor asked. Walking right up to monitor, admiring what he saw.

"How do you expect to transport them? How is it that you are able to keep them so still?"

"That is simple. M99 or Etorphine. They will remain catatonic as long as I want them that way." It was Leah. Drugs would only have that kind of effect on her.

"Impressive." Edward said. He was feeding Viktor's ego. "However, I don't think the reunion you are now considering would be a very good idea." Viktor turned to face Edward. Jacob shifted again to block my line of sight to Viktor. "You saw that did you? Yes, there is something very special about my wife."

Viktor looked at Edward confused and then amused. He laughed.

"No, I'm very serious and Aro would be, too."

Viktor stopped laughing when he understood what Edward was saying. "Then you must stay as my guests."

"No, I don't think so. And your turbines have been disabled, the doors will not close."

"You came here very prepared."

"More than you know." Edward replied.

"Emmett and Eleazar, would you please go find Sergei and keep him where he is. Sam and Quill will join you on the way. Viktor, if you would please take us to your captive. I am curious to see how you have managed this. Edward went in front of him. As Viktor exited the room, he looked at me. Jacob's arms began a minuscule shuddering. Viktor was outnumbered three to one. He had no choice. We went back up the corridor, the way we had come down. Edward knew where to go by reading Viktor's thoughts.

Alice and Carlisle separated me from Viktor in the procession. Jacob practically walked on my heels, his hand ever present on my shoulder, like he was ready to grab me up at a moment's notice. We stopped and entered a room that was halfway up the corridor. Inside, Embry lay on a cot, too small for his stature. This room was starkly furnished but could easily be identified as once being an infirmary. Carlisle immediately advanced towards Embry. Viktor made a step to stop him. "No, I wouldn't do that." Edward cautioned.

"His vitals are shallow. I won't know if there is brain damage until he is awake." Carlisle turned to read the labels of several vials on the floor. He read through them all but pocketed only one. Carlisle bent down to pick Embry up. It would have looked better if it was Emmett doing the carrying. Embry was so massive compared to Carlisle. Alice handed him the bag of fluid that was connected to his IV. Carlisle left easily with his patient.

"I will tell them. You're not going to get away with this. Your power is not as great as theirs." Viktor said with helpless disgust.

"We may not. There is no question of the power they possess. However, much of that power is just intimidation. That can be overcome with understanding. Now, let's go find Sergei." Edward ordered, offering his hand toward the door. Viktor his disadvantage and complied.

When we were back in the corridor, Edward said to Jacob, never taking his eyes from Viktor. "Take her away, Jacob." His voice was very soft and pained. Was he upset with what he was going to have to do to Viktor? Then his head turned the slightest bit. I only noticed because I was staring at the back of his head. "Bella, please listen to him and do what he says."

It seemed that Viktor was willing to let his captive go, but not me. He reached into his pocket. In a flash, Edward had hold of his hand but he was too late. His brief distraction, while he talked to me, was just the thing Viktor needed. It was a small remote button that began flashing. "Anything with a heat signature will not make it out. My men will see to that."

Right then and there Jacob trembled uncontrollably. I staggered away against the wall. Fabric from his t-shirt and shorts went flying. The russet brown wolf in his place made the corridor seem even more crowded. Viktor's face was all fear.

"Bella, get up on Jacob's back and don't let go. You need to be safe. Now go!" I felt cold hands grab me and throw me up onto the fur coat.

We were running, running so fast. It was different from running with Edward, mostly because the one carrying me was a wolf and a very furry one at that. At the end of the corridor we stopped behind a massive concrete pillar. He was listening, hearing. I could tell by the way his ears stood straight up and turned. Then we were off again. I buried my face in his hair, trying to keep my wits and my insides in check. We just needed to make it out, out into the sun, to the building where the others were.

Jacob stopped suddenly for just a second, sucked in a breath, like a gasp, and then he whined. I was afraid he was hurt. Then we were off again even faster than before. He was pushing himself to the limits. I could see light streaming ahead and I heard a heart wrenching howl from outside. From behind, there were sinister growls and screams of demise. I took satisfaction in the justice behind me but was unaware of the suffering ahead.

The pain was sharply acute. It radiated from the middle of my left shoulder blade. The impact made me scream. The pain continued and I moaned. There was no need to be quiet. They knew we were fleeing and in pursuit. His speed accelerated with our panic, as we broke out into the sun. I pinched my eyes shut even tighter, to manage the pain, maintain my hold on him and handle the rolling of my insides caused by the rapid motion.

I felt hands grabbing me, shifting me into a cradle hold, while we continued running. My heart was pounding and racing, gaining momentum. My muscles were seizing, constricting, setting hard like concrete. "Bella hang on. He's coming. He'll know what to do." But would he? Would he know? When was he coming?

Trying to open my eyes just the smallest crack took great effort. They felt like they had the weight of a thousand sand men. My head was swimming. I needed to stay awake. I needed to see him, to tell him. This was bad, very bad. My eyes were spotting with black dots and were weighing down again, threatening to close forever.


	26. Chapter 25 Godspeed

**Godspeed**

Pack

"Anything with a heat signature will not make it out. My men will see to that." That was it, I couldn't hold back. I let my emotions free, taking me to my wolf form.

From the very moment I heard Viktor speak, I was struggling to control myself. I couldn't believe how calm Edward was talking to him. I knew the way he loved Bella. It was the same way I did, maybe more. Once this guy knew Bella was the real prize. The error he made had to get to him. Edward could read Viktor's mind. I could only imagine what he was thinking. Edward had a front row seat. I'm surprised he didn't rip his head off right there. Seth had told me exactly what he saw Edward do to Victoria, proving what he was capable of.

When I saw the vamp on the monitor screen, I had to shut my eyes. I didn't want to see. It was too late. Even behind my lids I saw the limp wolf body in his grasp and the sickly grin on his face. I promised Edward though. I had already said, Leah was on her own. At least I knew she wasn't dead, just sedated by a dart.

Viktor was convinced that he had what the Volturi wanted. Edward used this just long enough to find out how he was sedating Leah and Embry. I hope what Viktor said made sense to Carlisle. When Edward's tone changed and he declined to wait for the Volturi to arrive, I anticipated my time to take Bella away was coming. I shifted my angle just enough so I could see her out of the corner of my eye.

Edward responded to Viktor's thought. "You saw that did you? Yes, there is something very special about my wife." There, he was going to tell him. He would know that Embry was not what he wanted, but he wasn't going to have Bella either.

Viktor looked at Edward and started laughing. I missed the joke. I bet he thought Edward was joking about being married to a human girl or maybe the fact that she was special. I felt insulted for Bella.

Then Edward corrected Viktor's assumption. "No, I'm very serious and Aro would be, too."

When he told Edward that he must stay, I wanted to laugh. Did Viktor seriously think he was going to intimidate us? Then I realized he was planning a lock down of the whole silo. Escape from here would be difficult, with eight feet thick concrete and 3 ton blast doors. Luckily Rose and Jasper had rectified that issue already. Edward sent Emmett and the new vamp to go find Sergei and Leah. I knew Emmett had a short fuse. Maybe a vamp would get decapitated yet.

Finally, Edward made a move of action. No more talking about it. Let's get on with it. As I watched the Russian vamp exit, he looked at Bella. I wished I could read his mind. I would make him regret even thinking about her. My rage was escalating again. My control was really being tested. I let Bella walk in front of me but only after Alice and Carlisle went after Viktor. There needed to be a barrier all around her. I had her back. I kept a hand on her ready to grab her up and run from any sign of danger.

When the door opened and I saw him lying there so peacefully, I was relieved. I was afraid I was going to see him hooked up to a bunch of tubes and machines with multiple injuries from abuse. There was none of that, just one IV. I suppose Viktor is conscientious about not delivering damaged goods. The doctor went right to him. I hadn't thought about internal damage until he said something about brain damage. Hopefully the fact that he was a werewolf would work to his advantage. The minute Carlisle removed Embry from the room, some of my stress was gone. I knew it would only take a minute for him to have him up the stairs and out of this stinking hole. Before he left, Viktor had to get one more threat in. At this point, his words were useless. The plans that Sam, Edward and Jasper made were working flawlessly. I quit letting him get on my nerves and concentrated on what I knew would be coming. I knew it would wound Edward deeply to let it happen but it was what he wanted. He believed it to be the right thing, the safest thing for her and I believed him.

Edward took him back out into the corridor. It was coming. Edward's confidence was waning. I was ready. "Take her away, Jacob." His pain was obvious to me. "Bella, please listen to him and do what he says." I hoped she would for now, just until I got her away from this place.

I saw Edward grab at Viktor's arm. I thought maybe he had a gun and was going to start shooting. It was a tiny remote. It might as well have been a gun. He had triggered some kind of alarm. I could hear it in the distance. Was it arming his traps or was it just notifying the mercenaries he hired that there was an invasion. Why didn't he do this sooner? He was waiting for Edward to be distracted. Bella was his only distraction and sending her away had to be a nightmare to him. That was all Viktor needed to seize the moment and seal his doom, I didn't want Bella to see what was coming next. The fastest and safest way out for her was on the back of a wolf. I released my hold and let the wolf flow freely.

The look in his eyes made me wish I had done it sooner. He was terrified. I wasn't sure why. He was a tracker. He had to have been tracking either me or Embry and seen us as wolves. But maybe up close and personal was not his style. Whatever, I was done with him. Edward would get me justice. Alice tossed her up onto my back. I had never thought of how wonderful having her there would feel. I ran, ran to get Bella out and ran to see if Embry was okay. I ran as fast as I could within my limits of being cautiousness. I wasn't totally sure what the alarm had unleashed.

"Embry's out." Quill read my thoughts and was relieved. I saw that Sam, Quill, Emmett and the other vampire had corned Sergei in a circular room that seemed to have endless concrete walls. Sergei had a steel grip around Leah's limp body. Sam was intent on his every move. "Drop the dog, Sergei." Emmett ordered him.

"Don't do it. Don't let them have her alive." Viktor said this as Edward and Alice brought him into the room. All of a sudden, Sergei dropped her and his hands flew to his eyes. He was screaming. "I'm blind, what's happening." In less than a second, Sam and Quill were on him, mutilating him. Their snarls and growls echoed through the passages. They were so intent on avenging Leah that they missed Viktor retrieving her. With a fervent pull on her head, he snapped her neck. Viktor smiled deviously with mortal satisfaction for his last deed. Edward's wrath detonated. Pieces of Viktor went everywhere.

In the horror of it all, I stopped, we would walk away with Embry but Leah's eyes would open no more. She would never get to atone for the way she treated him. She wanted to be there for him. She was falling in love with him. Now she would have to run through the clouds with past wolf spirits and wait for him to join her someday. A small sound of sadness broke free from my muzzle. My horror and grief made me run again. I ran to escape the pain the entire pack was feeling, and the intense agony of her brother. When Sam saw her limp body on the floor, he was debilitated. He tried to deny it, to no avail.

I ran faster, harder. We needed to get out of this tomb. I heard Seth's mournful howl from outside. We were close. I saw the stairs. I stretched up to clear the entire first flight of stairs. She screamed and her hands dug deep into my back, tightening her grip on me. Something was scaring her or hurting her. I couldn't tell. I couldn't see. I wouldn't know till we were outside. She moaned and her body was sliding around more than it had before. I took each flight of stairs one bound at a time and then we were out. I could see the sun about ready to set. A blinding figure flashed up beside me, grabbing her off my back as I slowed. Light was reflecting harshly into my eyes. As he turned away, I saw the back of Jasper speed away from me, holding Bella in his arms.

I failed. My eyes dropped to the ground and there it was the tranquilizer dart. I grabbed it in my mouth and flew to the ambulance. Carlisle was a flash of activity. He had her strapped to a gurney. Her limbs were tense. He checked her pupils and her respirations. I whined and spit the dart on the floor. "I don't have any more. I don't have any for her. I used the only vial down there on Embry. I didn't count on needing more. Jacob, tell Edward to get here now! Esme, Kate, go look again, see if you find any."

Just saying the words to me was all it took. He knew Edward would hear my thoughts. Edward and Alice were beside me instantly at the doors, desperate to know what to do. Carlisle threw a blanket at me. "Jacob, I need you human now. We need to transfuse her. I don't know if it will work."

I phased right there, not even caring who was around. I jumped up to sit on the bench beside the gurney with the blanket draped across my lap. I held my forearm out across her chest. He body was changing from ridged and tense to limp and lifeless. The needle was already in the vein of her neck. Carlisle instructed me to flex my hand. "It will increase the blood flow. Edward, there was only one vial of diprenorphine. I already used it all on Embry." I looked to Edward; his face was nothing but shock. Then Esme was there beside him. "There is no more." She said gravely.

"Jasper, Rose, move Embry outside. He is stable. We need the room in here." Carlisle ordered. I watched them slide the gurney out the back. He looked fine, just as peaceful as before. I kept flexing my hands. I heard her breaths slow, becoming quieter. Her heart beat was weakening.

Edward was on his knees on the other side. He was in the way, but Carlisle didn't say anything. He just continued to do what he felt he could, working around him. Edward was holding her hand to his lips. "Bella, fight, you have to fight for me, for us. I have a promise to keep. It was what you wanted. Please, just fight it."

There was more movement outside the doors. Sam was there, his face streaked with tears. Leah's limp body was in his arms. Seth was holding her head, his forehead touching her muzzle as he wept. Sam didn't move. He just stood there watching and crying.

"She's going to go into cardiac arrest. Jacob's blood is not enough. The dosage was too much. Edward, I'm so sorry." Carlisle said mournfully. Edward's face turned to the heavens and he yelled "NO".

"Edward, do something. You can't just let her die. Carlisle," I pleaded fiercely.

"I promised her. We promised your forefathers. I can't. It was all for nothing." He fell back on the floor, leaning against the bench. His elbows propped on his knees, his hands holding the sides of his head, like it might explode.

"Damn it, you can't let this happen. You can keep her here. You know you can. You know she wants this. So damn it, do it, do it now before it's too late." I yelled and looked to Sam. "Sam, tell him!"

Edward wasn't moving. I wasn't even sure he was listening to me. Then Sam spoke very seriously "Edward, she will be gone forever if you don't." Edward and I both were fixed on Sam. "Go ahead." He said and then moved his eyes to the wolf in his arms.

That was all Edward needed to hear. In a flash he was at her neck. Then he ripped her shirt open, his mouth on her chest, at her heart. He pulled away just as quickly. There was a small amount of blood on his lips but none in his mouth, or his tongue. He was brushing her hair back, watching her face. Then he was at her wrists repeating the previous actions. What was supposed to happen? She had told me it took three days and it was excruciatingly painful. I waited for the screaming to start.

I could still hear her heart, just barely, but it was constant, not erratic. I saw the slowed shallow rise and fall of her chest. As long as this was happening, she was still here. I kept flexing my hand.

"I don't know Carlisle. The drug has saturated her system. I don't know if the venom can work overcome the contamination even with Jacob's blood.

Carlisle checked her eyes and her respirations. "The bites in those places should have stopped her heart by now. I have never seen this. It is out of our hands now. It is totally up to her now." Carlisle stood up, looking puzzled.

"We need to get her back where I can monitor her better, where her screams won't be heard. Rose, help me with Embry." Edward said jumping out of the back of the ambulance.

"I don't think we need this anymore." Carlisle said removing the needle from my arm and from her neck. I leaned over her and looked at the bite, the red half circle, Edward made. It was right across her jugular at the base of her neck. My eyes moved down her still form. I looked at the perfect crescent on her chest moist with a trickle of red.

I quickly sat back up when Edward backed in holding his end of Embry's stretcher. They secured him to the other bench. He wasn't awake, but I saw him sigh. I hoped Carlisle was right about him being stable and I hope that meant Embry's mind was still intact.

The doors were shut. Edward was on his knees on the floor by her head, stroking her hair and holding her hand. Carlisle started the ignition and we were moving. Esme turned around in her seat and looked at Edward. It was a look a mother would give at her son. There were times when I was younger, that I wished I could remember my mother looking at me that way. She spoke to me. "Jacob, thank you." Her eyes were so richly golden and sincere.

"You're welcome." I said in return.

I watched him watching her. He never blinked. He never stopped stroking her hair. He never looked away from her face. He never let go of her hand. It had to have been at least an hour. "Esme?" I asked.

"Yes." she answered.

"What is he doing? Is he in shock or something?" I didn't know if what Edward was doing, was some ritual they did when they changed people or if he was losing it.

"This is very upsetting for him, yes, but he is listening and watching. Her heart still beats and she breathes. He knows this should stop, so he is waiting." She replied.

"Shouldn't she be in pain? Isn't she supposed to be screaming, begging or something like that, or does that come later?"

"Yes, she should be. It should be instantaneous, when the venom is introduced into the system. That is how it was with all of us. I don't know why it is different this time." She explained.

Edward never did stop and neither did Bella. I watched him right up to the point when Embry woke up. He looked over at me and said "Hey". I was happy he recognized me. Then he was asleep again. Carlisle said this was a good sign.

When we got to the Cullen's house, the doors were swiftly flung open. Alice stood their smiling. "She's still with us. I knew she wouldn't leave him."

"Do you see her future, Alice?" I asked.

"Not with you sitting beside her or in close proximity to her." She answered. She was not mean when she said this, only honest. "Has he said anything, anything at all?"

"No, he just watches her." I replied.

Jasper moved passed Edward to stand at the head of the gurney. With Alice at the foot they lifted and began moving her out of the back. Edward stood and moved along beside her, still watching. I watched them carry her into the house and could see them carefully taking her up the stairs. I wanted to go with her, too, but I wasn't her husband.

I felt a cold hand touch my arm. I looked down at Esme. "Carlisle will take Embry home now. He's has recovered enough that his mother can care for him. You should go with him. He can take you home, too. There will be things you will need to explain and take care of. You are welcome here any time. Emmett has already returned Sam, Quill, Seth and Leah." When she said that name, her name, I felt guilt. Guilt that I hadn't given her one single thought the whole ride home. She was part of my tribe, part of my pack and I owed her more. I went with Carlisle.

When he dropped me off at my house, he told me, "Jacob, what you did today for Edward and Bella will never be forgotten. We all will be in debt to you for as long as you chose to live. You will always be welcome in our home. Please come by soon, when you can."

"Yes, thank you." I said and turned to go inside. I knew Billy would not be home. He would be with Sue. I found some clothes and headed to Sam's.

Emily answered the door. She had a Kleenex to her tear streaked face. Heaving sobs came one after another. I stepped through the door and held her. That night, I stayed at Sam's. I sat on the couch with Emily, holding her while she cried herself to sleep. Sam was in the chair beside us. Everything had taken its toll on him. He had nothing more to give right now. It was all he could do, to be in the room with us. Once he finally fell asleep, I felt comfortable enough to do the same.

The service was two days later. The story was, she was cliff diving and broke her neck. Sam was very reserved but able to help Sue with the arrangements. Emily spent most of her days at the Clearwaters helping Sue and Seth. The Church was full. Carlisle, Esme and Alice came. I understood why Edward was not there. As far as anyone else was concerned, he was still on his honeymoon. Embry was there. Quill told him all the details, even about why she did what she did. How she felt about him. Embry was dealing with that in his own way. Emily and Seth spoke at the service, each one ending their speeches in tears.

My dad spoke last. He spoke about living and loving; love from a mother, love from a brother, love from a father and love from friends. He spoke of the unity of the tribe and the support to get through the loss. He encouraged us to live and to speak our minds. He ended with "She had passion in her words and love in her heart. She was a good soul. May we never forget all that she was. Godspeed Leah, run fast and true."

I went to the Cullen's house that night, after Billy was asleep. Alice answered the door. "How are they doing?" I asked.

"Edward is talking but he does not leave her side. She is the same as the day we brought her home. Carlisle is watching her closely. He is not sure if he should be treating her as a human or a vampire." She said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You will see." Alice said heading up the stairs.

When I walked into the room, I saw her lying in the bed, Edward at her side, holding her hand. She looked the same to me, maybe a little paler. I wasn't sure. Edward held her hand out for me to take. I held my hand out and he placed hers in mine. It was cold, not icy, but like she had been in front of the AC for a while. Her skin felt like porcelain, like a china doll. "She is not always cold, but her skin has changed to this for good, I think." He said.

I looked at her chest going up and down. "She's still breathing."

"That can happen, more of a habit than a necessity. Her heart still beats though. It is very faint but it is there."

"Was there pain? Did she scream?" I asked.

"No. For that I am glad."

"Have you tried talking to her? They say people in coma's can still hear you if you talk to them."

"Yes, I talk to her, but Carlisle says this is no coma and I agree. It is more like her body is trying to decide which it wants to be, vampire or human."

"Maybe she's keeping the parts she wants from each." I added.

"Maybe, I wish she would wake up and tell me." He said sadly.

"It's not quite been three whole days, maybe tomorrow. Can Alice see anything?"

"No, but I need to tell you about what she has seen. The Volturi are here. They did not have enough details to know where to look for Viktor when he didn't show. That benefits us. Emmett and Jasper went back and made sure all evidence was gone from the silo. It should look as if we were never there.

"Are they coming here? Are you going away with her?"

"Yes, they will be here tomorrow. You cannot be here. I'm not taking her away, though. I don't want to take her away from Carlisle and what his knowledge can offer. The Volturi also need to see that she is changing, at least partially. I am hoping they will not demand a visit to the Fathers. Bella would not be happy with that."

I heard her take a deep breath. She stirred and then there was movement under her eyelids. Both Edward and I stared intently at her face. Her eyes were closed but fluttering. Suddenly they were open. I expected to see her big brown pools or maybe they would be yellow like Edward's, but her irises were white and iridescent. I stood back, not sure of what I was seeing. Edward just continued staring intently into her face. Maybe this was not the first time she had opened her eyes.

"Bella, love, can you see me? Can you hear me?" Edward asked her.

Her eyes closed. She said nothing for about a minute. Then her eyes opened again. They were the brown pools I remembered. She seemed very groggy. Then she said "Yes." and fell back asleep. She never woke again. I waited right up until I had to leave to make myself scarce. Edward said he would have someone call me and tell what happens when the Volturi visit.


	27. Chapter 26 One Last Visit

**One Last Visit**

Bella

I heard voices, a lot of voices. They were all talking at the same time. My eyes only saw black. My lids were heavy with sleep. I didn't want to sleep any more. I was able to open them enough to see a slit of light. The light was bright, too bright. I blinked reflexively, then gave in squeezing my eyes shut tightly.

The voices reduced to just one. "Bella, Bella, can you hear me? Carlisle, the drapes," he said.

I tried again, this time slower. I could see someone leaning over me. "It's okay Bella. Take your time, let yourself adjust to it." This was a different voice.

Adjust to what? I blinked once more. I could see him. Carlisle was looking at me, into my eyes. "Edward?" I called. My voice was quiet and weak. His hand grasped mine. It did not seem as cold as it used to. I turned my head away from Carlisle and he was there. His free hand reached up and rested on the side of my face. It should have felt cold and hard. I couldn't tell. I was just happy he was there.

"Bella, how do you feel?" Carlisle asked.

I considered his question. The voices were gone. It was only him talking to me. "Strange. Where am I?"

"Voltura. Caius demanded an audience. There was no choice." Carlisle explained.

This alarmed me. The last thing I remembered was Jacob running with me; hands grabbing and cradling me but still running. I was in Washington State and now I was in Italy again. I started to sit up. Carlisle stood, taking my arm, trying to help me. In my haste to prove I could manage it myself; I removed his hand from my arm. "I can..." I said. The return look from him was quizzical. He would have stopped helping if I asked him too but this was different. I was able to remove his hand from my arm. I did it. Neither Edward nor I said anything.

I looked all around the room. I thought maybe I was in a hotel but the ceilings were too high. The drapes obscuring the windows went from floor to ceiling. The fabric looked expensive and heavy, like velvet. They were black in color, maybe navy. There was no desk, or small dining table. There were several chairs on either side of my bed and more lined up along the wall at the foot of the bed.

"Caius?" my fear made my voice weaker. I looked to Edward for answers.

"I'm sorry Bella. I know you would never want to…" I shook my head for him to stop.

"Am I going to die?" I whispered. I had no strength for anything louder.

"No." Edward answered

"Bella, they have been here observing you, Alec and Jane, too." Carlisle added.

"Jane!" I exclaimed, my voice becoming audible. I looked at Edward. Did she torture him again? I couldn't stand to see that again, ever.

"Bella, it's okay, you're safe. Remember, she couldn't affect you. She still can't."

"Neither can Alec." Carlisle said.

"Alec?" I remembered both him and Jane, but I did not know what his gift was. I never saw him use it before. "What can he…did he use his…" I couldn't finish. I felt so weak, drained."

"Alec can affect people's metabolisms. He has power over anything sentient and with the ability to flee. He can restrict and impobilize, like disconnecting the intentions of the brain from the body. He can stop a human's heart if he wishes. He can affect more than one at a time. He finds it necessary when he feeds as there is no resistance."

Had he done that to me, restricted my heart, my blood flow? Was that why I was so weak? I couldn't imagine Edward allowing him to do that to me. He would have had no power to stop them. Jane would have kept him busy with her own talents. I hoped that wasn't the case.

"Bella, listen to me." Carlisle spoke to me like he would to a patient with a serious illness. "You are alive. Your heart is still beating. I don't know why or for how long." His words sounded weird. How can a person be so lucid, alive and have their doctor telling them their heart could stop at any minute. Carlisle continued. "You were going to die back at the silo. Do you remember? Edward had to do it or you would have left us forever."

Edward did it. He saved me, saved me again. I looked at him with gratitude, with love. He was holding my hand that wore his ring. I would cherish every second of his touch, right up to the point my heart stops and I die, but I didn't feel like I was dying. He should just change me now. He said the Volturi had been observing me. Had he struck some kind of bargain with them? I knew they weren't the negotiating kind. They were only interested in certainty. Just what had Edward done to save me?

"Carlisle, can I speak with her alone?" he asked and Carlisle went out the auspicious door. "Bella, love, I'm so sorry. I promised you. I never expected. I never planned on things happening the way they did. I had to save you, to change you. I was willing to give you up to keep you away from the Volturi, keep you from danger, but this was my only hope to keep you present in my life."

I understood now what he was telling me. I looked down at my free hand. I held it up in front of my face. I turned it, looking at it. It looked the same. It felt the same. I put my fingers to my mouth. My lips felt the same. I touched my teeth. They felt no sharper than usual. Carlisle said my heart _would_ stop beating. I put my hand on my chest. I held my breath. I could feel the thumping in my chest. It was quiet but redundant. I waited for my lungs to ache with demand for air. It didn't come. I looked at the crescent scar on my hand. I vaguely remembered the pain from the ballet studio. The agony from James' bite was the only recollection of the pain I knew came with the venom. There should have been pain this time, intense excruciating pain. "Was the pain bad? Was it hard for you to watch? I'm so sorry. You should have stayed away."

"No, Bella, there was no pain for you. You never once screamed or begged. You didn't do anything that I could see with my eyes. You were hit by a tranquilizer dart, one of the ones intended to take down the wolves. The dosage was high and the drug was never compatible to humans. There was only one vial of antidote and Carlisle gave it all to Embry."

"Oh, Embry, is he okay? Carlisle took him out." I remembered.

"Yes, he's fine. He recovered. You on the other hand have been comatose or something like that for five days."

"Five days." I repeated "I thought it only took three?"

"In what we consider to be normal circumstances, yes, we say three. But Bella, the drug caused you to overdose and it flooded your system. You were dying. Jacob was there. He gave you his blood. Carlisle tried a transfusion but you were heading towards cardiac arrest. I had to do it. Bella, there was no other option. Jacob even asked me to and Sam gave his consent."

Okay, now I needed to slow down and digest this. I was dying. There was no choice. Jacob asked him to do it. Sam approved.

"The treaty" I gasped.

"Sam is chief Bella. He absolved me from the restrictions of the treaty so I could save you. I don't think any of the wolves there would challenge his decision."

"Why would he do that?" I asked.

"At the time he made his decision, he was holding Leah in her wolf form. Bella, they killed her. There was a surge to attack Sergei. Leah was unconscious still; she had no way to defend herself. All attentions were on Sergei." Leah was dead. Sergei or Viktor killed her. She was trying to save Embry. She loved him. My heart ached for her loss of love, the love she would never have and her loss of life. I couldn't bring myself to say anything.

Edward continued "Sam knew she was desperate to save Embry and it cost her, her life. Jacob was desperate to save you, too. At first I couldn't do it. I wanted to but I couldn't put my entire family at risk for my selfishness. I had done that enough. I'm so sorry. I would have been breaking the treaty right there in front of a third of the pack, but Jacob didn't care. He knew it was the only way. He yelled at me to do it. Sam saw his anguish, my anguish, everyone could see it. Then he said you would be gone forever if I didn't. He told me to go ahead. In second's time, I was biting you. There was no desire to feed, no thirst. I bit you here." He touched me at the base of my neck on my right side, right where my pulse should be. "And here," he moved his hand and placed it over my heart. I was certain now my heart was still beating. It was resoundingly strong. He felt it too. He smiled and joy covered his face. His deep golden eyes, on the verge of turning black, danced. He took both my hands in his and turned them up showing the matching scars on my wrists.

"Thank you." I said. Those two little words said so much, but not enough.

He leaned in to kiss me but stopped right before we touched. I closed the distance myself. My arms reached around his neck, pulling him to me. I really was pulling him to me. His arms moved around me. Our lips were urgent with each other. His breath escaped through his nose. I was intoxicated by its sweetness. My lips forced his opened. I ran my tongue across his teeth. He stopped but did not pull away, our lips still touching. I dared again and this time my tongue touched his. He shivered. The cuffs were off. We kissed with unrestrained passion. I ran my fingers through his hair and he did the same to mine. I fell back on the bed pulling him down with me. It was all so natural, for both of us. I didn't have to think about what I was doing. I don't think he did either. He didn't have to be careful with me. I forgot where I was. It didn't matter. I was with him. We were together, sharing the moment, the passion, and the full intensity of it all.

He pulled away, bracing himself above me with arms locked, holding himself over me. He was smiling and gasping. "Bella, we have to stop. We can't do this now."

"Why not," I demanded.

"Caius is waiting to see us. The fathers have requested our presence as soon as you awoke." He moved off of me and stood beside the bed, offering his hand to me. I took his hand and let him pull me up to stand beside him. It was then; I noticed I was wearing blue silk pajamas.

"Who put these on me? Where did they come from? I can't go in these." I said.

Edward laughed out loud. It was just like the time at the baseball field when I fell on my butt. "No, of course, you can't wear those; Alice put them on you at the house, before we left. She packed your suitcase, too."

"Is she here? Where is she?" I asked with eagerness.

"No, she's not here. It is just Carlisle and I. He thought it was best." Edward said with seriousness.

"Oh, I see, of course." I said a little disappointed.

"Go and change. I will call her and tell her you are awake. She will need to call Jacob and tell him, too. Bella, you are lucky to have him to call friend. He is good for you. I will share you with him, as friends."

"Thank you, and yes, he is a great friend. You will see."

I went into the bathroom to change. It had the same high ceilings. The floors and walls were marble and the counter was granite. All the fixtures looked like pewter or something like it. When I opened my suitcase I was expecting to see my wedding dress. I thought Alice would think it appropriate to wear for standing before the fathers, proving that my intentions and her visions were right. It was not there. There was a simple light blue floral dress, a slip and sandals. All the underwear looked lacy and frilly, not at all my style.

I dressed quickly, not once noticing myself in the mirror until I was done. When I turned to the mirror to run a brush through my hair I was taken aback by what I saw. It was me, there was no question, but different. I closed my eyes and did an internal inventory. No I really thought I didn't feel any different, but I had to be. I was obviously stronger and breathing did not seem to be necessary, more just an inclination. I leaned in closer to the mirror. Not that I necessarily needed to but it just felt like I would have done this before. I expected to see golden eyes and then corrected myself as they should be red, representing a newborn. They were not. Looking back at me were the clearest brown orbs ever. Not one bit of blood shot or blood satiated. This did not make sense. I stood back up and tilted my head to look at where Edward had touched my neck before. The curved bite mark was there. I looked down at my wrist and the marks were repeated there, just as I had seen in the other room. So, was I changed or not? Again, I put my hand to my chest and froze. Ever so slightly I felt the beat buried deep within me. I had questions that needed answers.

When I exited the bathroom I heard Edward say "That is good to hear. Yes, I will tell her to wear them. I will let Carlisle know. Goodbye, Alice." He put his phone away and turned to me. "You look so amazing." He said smiling.

"You make it sound like we are going to dinner with old friends." I told him.

"Well, old, yes. The friends part is still a split vote but opened to change."

"Why, what did Alice see?"

"Bella, about that, Alice can't see everything any more, when it relates to you. I suspect it's because of what Jacob did for you, when he gave you his blood." He explained.

"So I'm part werewolf now?" I said shocked.

"Not exactly, no, I don't think so." He said confusing me more. "Jacob said it better, he had a theory. I explained to him that your body was having struggles. You had a lot going on inside, having your blood tainted with the drug, Jacob's blood and my venom. I saw it as your body trying to decide what it wanted to be, vampire or human. Jacob thought you were choosing the parts you wanted from each. You would be an original, selecting only what you thought were the best parts of all of us."

"Do you think it's true?" I asked.

"I see evidence to back it up." He said handing me a pair of dark sun glasses. I took them even though I had no idea why he handed them to me. I let a questioned look cross my face. "It's in your eyes. Did you look at yourself in the mirror, in the bathroom?"

"Yes, I love my new skin and my hair isn't much different, just better." I answered him.

"Your eyes, Bella, they are brown, not red like all newborns and not gold like mine. Yours would not be black yet, as your system is still full of blood."

"Okay, so they're still brown, but they have flecks of gold. Maybe they will change later." I said hopefully.

"No, I don't think they will, but, Bella, they do change now. There are times, and I haven't been able to figure out what triggers it, when your eyes go white and iridescent like my skin in the sun. This change doesn't last but the length of time has varied. Your eyes have not been open enough for me to make a thorough analysis."

"So you think my eyes need protecting from the light, if they should change?" I asked him.

"No, I am protecting you from the others and the conclusions they will draw if they see this happen. I don't think this is something they need to know about." He explained.

"So, just how are you going to explain me, a newborn, wearing sunglasses indoors?" I asked.

"Light sensitivity due to head trauma and it helps that you have always been unexplainable. They have been watching you from time to time since we arrived. They believe you are a slow bloomer. What I mean to say is; they acknowledge you as a newborn, but one that has not made the change completely but is in the process." Carlisle had come back into the room. He was listening to what Edward was telling me.

"Huh," I said using one of my favorite non expressive expressions.

"Edward, we shouldn't keep them waiting." Carlisle said.

Edward took the glasses from my hands, opened them and placed them over my eyes. "Please don't ever wear these around me, when we are alone. They take away from the total picture of your beauty." He leaned in kissing, me on my cheek. I thought for sure I would blush, but the warm rise under my skin never came.

We got on an elevator that looked familiar to me. I had been in it another time, a more unpleasant time. Not that I found this time to be pleasant, but I had perceptions to pad my anxieties. I had certain expectations of the fathers. Caius would be suspicious and cynical. Marcus would be interested in how far Edward and I had come in our relationship. Aro will still see this all as a game, a source of amusement.

The two ominous guards I knew, Felix and Demetri, where standing at the door awaiting our arrival. There were no cloaks today, only black t-shirts and slacks. The change in attire did not make them any less threatening. They opened the doors at the same time making it possible for all three of us to walk through together. I made sure that I entered on Demetri's side, not wanting to get too close to Felix. I just really didn't like him.

This room was nothing like the room from last time. There was plush burgundy carpet on the floor, portraits of the fathers and a few others on the walls. There were several leather wing back chairs placed strategically around the room. All it was lacking was a fireplace, a few windows and a bunch of stodgy old men smoking cigars and it could pass for the inside of a men's club.

"Oh, there's our happy couple." Aro sang. "Bella, dear, Bella, it is so good to see you up and about. How are you feeling? Stronger I hope; thirsty maybe?"

This was going to be different than the last time. I had control of my situation. "Yes, I do feel stronger and no, I am not thirsty. Thank you for asking. Am I supposed to be?" I asked. I thought that if I acknowledged that they had things to teach me, then they would be less likely to feel threatened by my uniqueness.

"No, not necessarily, but I could have someone get whatever you wanted." Aro said.

I reached out, taking Edward's hand and replied back "I already have that, but thank you for offering." My gesture brought an unexpected smile to Marcus's face. He was usually so non interested.

I let my eyes; hidden behind the glasses, travel around the room surveying who was in attendance. Of course, Jane and Alec were there. Demetri and Felix had moved to position themselves behind the fathers. Heidi was there in a corner talking with another female. They were both dressed in long white summer dresses. This did not seem like typical attire for Heidi, but it made her look nice. This was a smaller crowd than last time.

I felt something shift in my head or maybe my thoughts. I could hear Aro speaking but it was not out loud. I was able to hear his thoughts. "_She is such a lovely child. She has so much to learn. There is so much I could teach her. Ah, but her love for him blinds her. She would never bloom as much as she could if she were without him. It's a shame he and Carlisle are so committed to their lives back in those dismal forests._" I thought I also felt a shudder of distaste.

I looked at Edward to see if he was hearing what I was but he remained impassive, looking as though he were waiting patiently for something to come.

I moved on to see what Marcus was thinking. There were no words, only feelings; joy, serenity and comfort came to mind. He was reveling in the love that Edward and I had for each other. He seemed astounded by our intensity. He was so happy we were there so he could dip into these emotions, that he would have allowed us any request, just to keep the happiness there.

I tried not to look to Caius, but even without looking; conscious thought from him still reached me. His thoughts were caustic. He was contemplating the probability that Carlisle had more secrets than he was letting on, too. He was angry that he had not been able to convince the other two of the urgency to take action, when Viktor had called. He was sure that Viktor had me and Caius wanted to be the one to destroy me. Now that I was a vampire, in the sense that they conceded I was one, it would be difficult to justify my demise since I had not broken any rules. In all actuality, I had complied with every rule and request they had. I was changed and I was brought to them when summoned. He found the whole circumstance quite distressing. He felt his best resolve at this point was to send us away and never think of me again. Of course, after he had Aro check Carlisle out, he would know Carlisle had no secrets.

I was okay with both of these options. I would be happy to never lay eyes on Caius again. The feeling was mutual. As for Aro and Carlisle, I knew Carlisle had no secrets. If anything, Aro might glean something from him. Perhaps gain some humanitarian perspective. Caius leaned over to Aro, whispering in his ear, as I knew he would.

"Well, it appears that since we cannot convince Carlisle and Edward to allow us an extended stay and Bella has made evident her devotion to her husband, there are no reasons to keep you here as our guests. I do admit that I would love to watch the two of you more, as you explore your romance, but that really would be a bit of an intrusion. I can offer no more than our hospitality as incentive to keep you here. You may go any time you wish. Just know the invitation to continue your sojourn with us is open.

I considered making a mad dash for the door, but that was an alarmist's response. Aro stepped up to Carlisle offering him his hand. Carlisle took the full grasp of his hand and bent down, kissing the ring on his finger. "_Oh to have a heart so pure and non-malice; Caius would do so well as to take a page from Carlisle's book. If ever there was peace among vampires this one could be the matriarch."_ I forced myself to relax and felt my tension moving to the back of my mind.

"It was so good to look upon your face again. You have a strong will and a good family. Keep it as your treasure and do keep in touch better. You wait too long to catch up." Aro chimed. I hoped Aro would tell Caius of his findings while I was still able to hear and then I reconsidered. I knew he would be angry that his assumptions were wrong and I was happy not to hear more of his hateful sentiment.

Aro stepped up to Edward. I did not release his left hand from my grasp. I don't know why I did this. It just felt like the thing to do. Aro gave a nod to Edward and turned his glance on me while speaking to him. "You are so lucky, dear boy, beginning a life with the one who brings great passion to your soul. It is a remarkable thing. You both love like I have never seen. It would give me hope for you that it should last through eternity. Oh, and do tell Alice how I miss her. She should visit." Aro said smiling back at him.

"Thank you Aro, your sentiment means a lot. I will tell her." Edward stated politely.

He moved over to stand before me and asked. "May I?" Edward nodded back to him approvingly and looked to me.

In my eagerness to depart, I held my hand out first and then realized my error. I quickly put it back at my side. "Ha, Ha, Ha. You are truly a delight." He held his hand out to me. I reached for it, intending to kiss his ring like Carlisle had done. Instead, he flipped my hand to the top and kissed the back of my hand. As he rose, his face looked as though he had just smelled the sweetest rose. "I am amazed at how slow your change is. It would be most agreeable to me and I know to dear Edward here, if your aroma would stay intact. I would not get too hopeful, dear boy, but without hope what do we have. I see the enigma of you continues for us both." He said looking at the glasses obscuring the eyes behind. "I suppose that could be a benefit to your future together." Aro sighed and continued "May your trip home be pleasant?" He said turning to walk back to his seat. Demetri stepped from behind the chairs and towards the doors.

I looked at Jane who was talking intently with Alec with no intention of noting my presence. I looked up and standing behind her was Felix, glaring the same way Victoria once glared at me. Then the shift was present again. I released Edward's hand and balled mine into fists. I looked to Felix, wanting him to pay for seeing me the way he did. He stiffened with pain, but did not fall to the floor or scream aloud. It was as if he had done this before and forced himself to control it. As soon as I saw it start it stopped. I was horrified that Jane would do that to him. I looked back to Jane and she was still conversing with Alec.

Edward put his arm around me and leaned in appearing to kiss me on my cheek. "Let's go before you do something you regret more." What was that supposed to mean?

It was the last flight of the day when we left the Italian airport. This time I did not have to fight sleep. I just let it happen willingly. Obviously, I chose sleep as a human quality I wanted to keep. When I woke, only a few hours had passed and I was fresh and renewed. Edward had been telling Carlisle things he couldn't before, because he didn't want to put Carlisle in jeopardy with the Volturi. He told him about my eyes and his theories about my change and a possible ability. I could recall the discussion even though it took place while I slept. I found this quite useful.

I didn't feel hungry or thirsty but thought I should at least stay hydrated. I asked the steward for some water. "I would be careful with that." Edward said to me with a sly grin on his face.

"It's only water." I said.

"Exactly, you may want to test that out in the bathroom." He was implying that my diet had changed. I didn't think so. I didn't really feel that much different other than I wasn't hungry and I hadn't eaten in over five days. I reconsidered his suggestions and went to the lavatory. He was right. Water was no longer my friend. It tasted of strong chemicals and purifiers. When it reached my stomach it was not welcomed in. The reception allowed for a hasty retreat right back out into the sink. I was thankful that I tested his theory with water and not something like milk or wine.

When I returned to my seat with a nearly full bottle of water, he grinned at me. "You were right. How do you learn this stuff? How do you know?" I asked.

"Bella, you have me and my family. You don't have to know but you will learn. We will learn together." The rest the flight home we talked about the nuances of being a vampire. Some of the things I really didn't think would apply to me. Edward had already tested the skin in the sun theory. He was a little disappointed that I didn't sparkle the way he did but he did note I had a glow about me. I think he was just referencing regular feminine beauty which I acquired and he always argued I already had. I was disappointed not to sparkle, but saw the advantage. I could go where ever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

"So why do you think my eyes change and when will they be just like yours." I asked waiting for either one of them to answer.

Edward tilted his head towards Carlisle deferring his response.

"Bella, there is nothing factual about you. There is much about you that will be learned as you go. I agree with Edward that the change to the white hue in your eyes indicates something of an ability that you can turn on and off. This will most likely be something you will be able to control with practice. What the ability is we can only guess." Carlisle looked at me quizzically.

"Bella," Edward now questioned me. "When we were in the room with the others, did you notice anything different or new for you? Do you feel anything when your eyes change?"

"My eyes changed when we were in there?"

"Yes, they did." He explained. "It happened twice, once when first entered and became stationary in the room before the fathers. They faded back to brown just after Carlisle showed his respect to Aro. The second time was when you were staring Felix down before we left. What did you see in him that made you change?

"I didn't know I changed. He just had that same look on his face that Victoria would get." Edward made a hiss that only the two of us could hear. "Sorry. It just made me mad and I thought that if I could do what Jane could do I would show him. Maybe I put the idea in her head and she gave him a little taste."

"Oh, they all have had their taste of Jane. Their arrogance gives them a false sense of their invincibility. Some think they are stronger than her power only to learn different. A few like Felix find a sick enjoyment in the agony."

"Ew, Felix likes it? Are he and Jane?" I asked shocked.

"No nothing like that. For him it's more of a constant test of control and superiority all be it masochistic."

"So Jane was mad at him for glaring at me?" I asked.

"I don't think Jane had anything to do with what was happening to Felix. I think you did it. The second you realized pain was being inflicted your eyes reverted back to brown. I think you did it. I think you borrowed Jane's power without her knowing. Too bad you didn't give her a dose of her own ability."

I thought about what Edward said but I couldn't imagine myself having a power that would be that convenient, not me, but why not me? Actually that would explain a lot more. I was able to hear thoughts. Was I borrowing Edward's ability?

"You know Aro thinks I'm a lovely child but my love for you blinds me and will never allow me to reach my full potential." I said smiling at him waiting to see his response.

Edward's eyes grew big when I finished my statement. "You heard that?"

"Yes and Caius hopes to never look upon me again. That request I would happily fulfill."

"You could hear their thoughts?"

"Some of the time," I admitted smiling.

"She's an acquirer, Edward," Carlisle said with amazement.

We landed in Juneau, the last flight arriving that day. Carlisle had reserved a rental car and opted to drive the rest of way home. Edward had one too. It was a sharp little Audi coup. He put our luggage in the trunk and walked me to my side of the car. He did not open my door but instead wound his arms around behind me pulling me to him. The smile on his face was immense. I returned the favor in kind.

"So, are you ready to go home, Mrs. Cullen? I have one last promise to keep."

_I owe huge amounts of gratitude to my Beta Lillie. She is my best friend and laughs at me when I'm strung out on Rockstar and no sleep from writing till 3 am. She never once called me on procrastination but some of my best stuff comes under the stress of a deadline, like BEATING the midnight release of the real deal. I hope you enjoyed it. Since initially posting this chapter I have revamped it because it seem rushed. (It was only finished on August 1,2008 no hurry there. HAHA) I will write my epilogue soon. All comments are eagerly awaited._


	28. Epilogue

Wow, I finally finished. I have had this chapter for some time now, but writing from this character's view point was especially difficult. I hope for and look forward to the day that Midnight Sun comes out. So I can see how the pro does it. Again I give esteem admiration for Stephenie Meyer's work and attribute the basis for my story to her as she is the owner of the true tale. I also tip my head, as I am sure Edward would too, to the timeless words of Mr. Shakespear. I hope this puts the final turn in the bow for my version. Any and all feedback is requested, eagerly anticipated and appreciated. Enjoy.

Epilogue

She was away from me again but this didn't worry me. She has never ventured very far, staying close enough for me to hear her movements, intentional movements, made so that I can hear her. She does this to benefit my apprehensions. Her new gifts suit her well. She has gained control of her ability to shift, as she likes to call it. I liken this to the phasing that the wolves do. For her, it is like moving from a human disguise to a more complete vampire form with benefits. When she is in the latter her heart mutes, I cannot hear a single beat, but she is no less my Bella.

I have pondered Jacob's theory and I like to think Bella kept some of her traits for me. Yes, that sounds selfish, but in actuality it sounds typically sacrificing of her. Her scent is the same, freesia and citrus in full bloom but sweeter. The flecks of gold in her eyes seem to be growing only minimally, but to her satisfaction growing none the less. This change was a bit of a surprise to Carlisle. Her skin is not paler than it was before; however, its durability is unquestionable. Her body is temperate with mine. Being here alone with her at our home is more peaceful than I could have ever dreamed of. She says it is that way for her, too.

The moment she woke in Voltera I had so much to ask her but no time to do so. Watching her for those five days, I felt so helpless. If not for the rhythmic beat of her heart to keep me company, I don't know what I would have done. Alice kept the faith for me but I suspected her patience was ultimately tested. It was so unfortunate that her wakening had to occur under such strained circumstances, but for now that is behind us. The moment the plane took off from Italy was when our life together became just for us.

I was surprised and relieved to see her sleeping again. Being there while she slept was different this time. Before her change, I used to battle inside myself, while she lay on her bed. I needed to be there watching her, to be near her. I craved to smell her essence all the while stifling my thirst. I anxiously anticipated any word she might utter. She was a constant in my mind, in my thoughts and in my desires. Through it all there was the underlying fact that we were not the same and it was my greatest challenge. What she saw once as boyfriend and girlfriend could in any instant change to predator and prey. Like I told her once it was mind over hunger, but I believe more correctly it was heart over hunger. The only lust I have for her now is just to be with her.

Having her head resting on my chest, hearing the faint beat of her heart, beating its steady relaxed rhythm, was a symphony of a thousand percussionists. Imbibing her scent gave me immense pleasure. It was shear bliss to savor her aroma without wanting to end her life. Yes, she smelled different but only slightly. It would be like smelling pepper but without the part that makes your nose itch and cause you to sneeze. You would still get the bite and zest of the spice.

"How is it for you, Edward? There are changes that are evident, but not typical." Carlisle had asked me. The word typical made me smile. Nothing about my wife was typical.

"She is even more perfect to me." I replied stroking her hair.

"I don't smell her, like that, like before, but you were more attuned to her. Do you still crave her? Can you tell what runs through her veins?" he asked.

"I desire only her love and return the same to her. I have no hunger or thirst for her anymore." Carlisle was quiet for several minutes pondering my answer. It was obvious there were many more questions he wanted to ask. I thought it easier to explain to him what I thought to be truth up to this point. "It didn't happen all at once. It was gradual. Sitting with her in my room, I didn't seem to notice it happening. All I could do, all I could know was being with her hoping she would come back to me and be okay. When we were at the airport and boarded the jet for Voltera I realized the difference. The smell of the pilot and the staff were like any other human that brought on the craving to control. When I bent over her to secure the gurney the thirst was not there. At first I thought my distress had numbed me to her. I tested myself and inhaled deeply from her hair and then her breath. I was overcome with sweet bliss and nothing more. Unfortunately, at the time, this was not enough as she was still unconscious and her fate unsure. I kept trying to run every scenario and outcome through my mind and what I would need to do to bring her back to me, but I always came up empty and just had to wait."

Carlisle looked down at her and back up to me smiling, relieved my wait was over.

"Can you tell me something, something from my past?" I asked.

"If I can." he replied.

"In the hospital, during the influenza epidemic, were there people there who were not affected, who sat with their loved ones, like my mother tried to do for me before she knew that death was eminent for the both of us?"

"There were very few who were not affected, but yes they would sit with masks on much like you did for Bella, waiting for an outcome." He answered.

"I see." I said, now understanding the depths of despair. "I realize my arrogance in thinking that, because of our longevity, we know so much more than mere humans, but it is not always how much you know, but what you know and have experienced. Suffrage is a great burden but yields rewards in many forms."

"Bella is quite a treasure." Carlisle admitted.

"Yes, she is," I replied stroking her hair invoking her fragrance about me "but she has given my humility and humanity back to me. The belief she has in me and my _soul_," this word I said with reverence, "has always been unwavering. It's like she only saw the best in me and filtered out all the rest. I've had much to think about in re-evaluating myself and what I am to her and for her. I need to be the man she sees."

"You are, my son. You don't need to change to be something you already are. You just need to accept what we all see; if you change you would cease to be what she desires and loves. Peace and happiness are great things and are even greater when shared."

I thought about the hundreds of years that Carlisle had been alone, before he sired me. I remember how peaceful a man he was in my beginning and still is today. I remembered how happy he was once Esme had made it through the change and received him with equal joy. They shared these things in the purest way. They had made their sacrifices and from that point on moved forward together. I would do that with Bella, but had all her sacrifices been made so she could move forward too?

"Edward, don't over think it. Just let it happen and enjoy being together." Carlisle added. "She seems to be handling her change, however different it is, as well as Esme did. This is fortuitous and intriguing. She will have questions and there may be no way to answer them as they relate to her particular situation. You need to give her time to adjust and support her like you always have."

"Nothing about Bella has ever been the norm. She is now, in all senses of the word, unique, from her still beating heart, changing eyes and whatever it is that she does to manipulate the powers of others. She is the unknown in one complete package." As I said these things Carlisle's expression changed to one of interested quizzicality. I hadn't gotten to the point of outlining the other differences I had noted. "Her eyes are still brown but there are times when she morphs and her eyes become iridescent crystal pools and her heart mutes. I don't think she does this voluntarily but more defensively or instinctually."

"When did you first notice this and how often has this happened?" he asked.

"The first time was when we were still at home and Jacob came to visit before the Volturi came. I had mentioned to him they were coming and Bella began to rouse and her eyes opened and they were as I described reflective crystals. It only lasted a brief moment and she did not speak. After a minute I checked her eyes again and they had returned to their natural warm pallor. I checked her eyes often after that and they remained brown." I recalled a time when brown was her favorite color and topaz her favorite stone because it matched my eyes. Because of her, brown was peace and tranquility to me.

I continued, "I suspect, but cannot confirm, that this may have occurred at other times while in Italy and she was still sedate. This would be times when the Fathers came to her room. I dared not check beneath her eye lids with them present but I noticed the lack of her heart's drumming."

"Has it happened since she regained consciousness?" Carlisle queried.

"Oh, yes. I feared it might and used the ruse of light sensitivity to hide her eyes behind the glasses. I was glad I did when it happened with Aro standing directly in front of her and Caius not far behind. I didn't tell you this sooner because I didn't want Aro to hold you accountable."

Carlisle nodded with understanding and I continued.

"It was not until I witnessed it that I realized the change in her eyes signified her ability. Did you happen to notice, right after Aro bid us farewell, Felix was experiencing a bit of discomfort?"

"Yes but I assumed he was disappointed with the outcome of the meeting with Aro and our eminent departure. What exactly is her ability? What can she do? Is she aware of it?"

"I'm not sure exactly what it is she does. She only has a suggestion that she has her ability. I think my plan for her and I to spend time alone will be opportune for her to explore and define the ability. Thankfully I don't believe that Aro or any of the others suspect anything."

"I agree. There is a lot she has to get used to; her change, as different as it is, any abilities she has and being married. That is a lot to take in. Just concentrate on the later for now and let her ease into the other. This is uncharted territory for all of us and there is much more for her to consider." Carlisle reminded me.

"You mean her parents."

"Yes and her friends."

I considered her plight and wondered how she was considering her situations. I was a bit surprised that her rest was brief. I was amused that I was correct in my assumption about her changing diet. She didn't appear to be alarmed by it. Her eagerness to learn the ways of my lifestyle was evident, but there was still a lot of uncertainty for what she was. I tried to reassure her that we have more than enough time to review the expectations of her new life, but this was Bella, stubborn and determined.

Carlise tried to rationalize a reason for her current eye color and the sporadic change to the crystalline state, but I sensed this was not very reassuring to her. "Bella, when we were in the room with the others, did you notice anything different or new for you? Do you feel anything when your eyes change?" I asked.

"My eyes changed when we were in there?"

"Yes, they did." I confirmed. "It happened twice, once when we first entered and became stationary in the room before the fathers. They faded back to brown just after Carlisle showed his respect to Aro. The second time was when you were staring Felix down before we left. What did you see in him that made you change?

"I didn't know I changed. He just had that same look on his face that Victoria would get." When I heard her say this I couldn't help myself but react to the name of evil that was Victoria. I was also sure her change was triggered defensively. Bella continued trying to redirect the conversation. "Sorry. It just made me mad and I thought that if I could do what Jane could do I would show him. Maybe I put the idea in her head and she gave him a little taste."

The phrase, revenge is sweet came to mind, but unfortunately for her, Felix's experience with Jane was nothing new. I explained that Felix and his enormous arrogance and superiority complex had led him to challenge himself against other vampire's powers. In the times I was able to glance at his mentality, I saw an almost primitive rationale. Everything to him was black and white. You were either Vampire or meat, gifted or not and in his terms, royal or not. He actually believed his gift was that of endurance against other gifts or at least the ones he was willing to challenge.

"So Jane was mad at him for glaring at me?" she asked.

"I don't think Jane had anything to do with what was happening to Felix. I think you did it. The second you realized pain was being inflicted your eyes reverted back to brown. I think you did it. I think you borrowed Jane's power without her knowing. Too bad you didn't give her a dose of her own ability." She was quiet for several minutes. I could see she was considering my theories.

"You know Aro thinks I'm a lovely child but my love for you blinds me and will never allow me to reach my full potential." She said smiling.

I can only imagine the look of shock on my face. "You heard that?"

"Yes and Caius hopes to never look upon me again. That request I would happily fulfill."

"You could hear their thoughts?" She could read their minds, but I didn't want that for her, the constant ramblings of thoughts for the endless score of people. Maybe this wasn't what she did I needed her to explain more.

"Some of the time," She admitted smiling. I hoped she was not serious about this being her gift.

"She's an acquirer, Edward," Carlisle said with amazement.

These words were only vaguely familiar to me, but within seconds I was relieved to know that Bella would not be burden with the constant ruckus that I fought within myself.

"This means you can borrow other's abilities, Bella. You will have to figure out what your limitations are, if any, and which abilities you can or cannot borrow. There will be plenty of time to explore that. With all that has happened in the past week, I think you and Edward deserve some quite time alone. We all do." This seemed to satisfy her for a brief while. She sat pondering what she heard.

After what I guessed to be about thirty minutes her curiosity got the best of her and she started wanting other details of vampire characteristics. I reminded her that her strength for the time being is greater than mine and for that matter possibly her speed. While we were on the plane, I helped her explore the improvements in her hearing, sight and smell. She seemed most amused by the fact that she did not have to breathe but now understood the need for it and the joy of smelling.

"These people have no idea how limited they are."

"Neither had you." I retorted smiling. It was nice to have her know more of what it is like to be me, but then I could not help but frown.

Catching my change in expression she asked concerned "What?" After a few seconds she continued apologetically. "Oh, that was very arrogant of me to say. Edward, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I mean… Oh…"

"Bella, I know what you mean and that was not what I was thinking. It's very nice to share with you what it is like to be one of us, but I don't wish for you to share the darker sides of us. I don't want for you to be challenged the way we are. It is not easy to maintain our lifestyle."

She put her finger to my lips and with the softest look in her eyes and the faintest smile on her lips she said "I know. It will be fine, you'll see."

Always the optimist in the face of the unknown, just another irrational thing I loved about her. I leaned in and kissed her forehead and held her closely the rest of the flight home.

Once we arrived in Juneau, the rental cars Carlisle had asked Esme to arrange were waiting. Carlisle was eager to get home and quickly wished us a safe trip to our cabin. I put the luggage in the car. We were finally alone. Before we got into the car I couldn't resist pulling her close knowing she was no longer the frail flower from the garden, but my equal and my partner. These terms made me warm inside and I knew a smile radiated on my face. She smiled back with sincerity from the depth of her soul.

The night air was brisk but my love for her was electric. For at this moment there was no Voltera, no fathers, no werewolves, no brothers or sisters or fathers or mothers or friends, there was only us and our time together. "So, are you ready to go home, Mrs. Cullen? I have one last promise to keep." I was sure the volume of her heart increased. She smiled and placed her hand aside my face. "Oh, yes." She replied.

Once we were in the car, I did something I had never done. I put on my seatbelt. She was amused but understood my subtle request for her to do the same. Yes it was true that she was more durable than before but with everything being so different for her, her limitations were not yet known. I drove only moderately over the speed limit, wanting to prolong and savor every moment of every second we had beginning our lives together.

I knew Alice had been at the cabin preparing it for a proper honeymoon and that it would be perfect, typical Alice. Then the uncertainty hit me when I realized that I had not fully considered my part in the equation. How do I start this, to make this special for Bella, for us both? Should I carry her across the threshold? Would she be offended if I did? She giggled and said "You're over thinking it." I looked at her but her gaze was fixed on her hand in her lap.

"What?"

She looked up and me, her eyes were stunning opals. Her smile was glowing with her personal charm. I was now even more at a disadvantage. This was disturbing for me. My personal thoughts were no longer my own. Is this how my family felt around me? She took my right hand and held it to her lips where she kissed it and moved it to the side of her face.

"_I'm sorry. I wasn't listening on purpose. I'm nervous too. Don't think about it. This is new for both of us. No, I shouldn't say that, it sounds dumb." _I heard this but her lips did not move.

"Your right and it doesn't sound dumb." I replied. Now the shock was hers.

"You heard me? Oh, this is so weird."

"Right, weird," I agreed and she laughed again. Her laugh was sparkling. It eased my tensions and I knew I should do what Carlisle said and just let things happen. She closed her eyes for what seemed a longer than normal blink, her eyes were brown again and I could no longer hear her thoughts. "How did you do that? Do you know? Can you tell, I mean feel it, when your eyes change?"

"Yes, it's like…" she paused trying to formulate the words. "I barely notice it. It's like a shift to an altered state of awareness, not sensitivity or something like that. I'm sorry. I'm not making any sense."

"Actually you are. Do you think you can will it to happen?"

"Maybe, I don't know. I'm not sure what causes it to happen" she replied.

"How were you feeling just now?" I asked

"Nervous… like you" she added laughing again.

"I told Carlisle that I believe this to be a defensive change. I mean it happens when you feel threatened or vulnerable or less than confident with yourself. I bet this is something you can work on to make it voluntary."

There was a look of excitement that entered her eyes. Then she asked "But, if all I can do is hear people, how is that any different than what you can do, except that you can do it all the time and I would have to make myself do it?"

"Carlisle said your ability is acquiring. You can borrow other's abilities. There might be limitations but those could be defined later." She was quiet, absorbing what I had said. I wished I could hear her thoughts now. "What are you thinking?" I asked her.

She paused and was no longer smiling. "I wouldn't want to have ability like Jane. What she does is so mean, so cruel. I don't know that I would knowingly want to do that to someone, to anyone. I don't know that I would want to know everyone's thoughts all the time. I know and understand how hard that is for you. I don't see how this is any good."

We had reached the house and I parked the car. There was a light on in the front room. I walked to her side of the car, opening her door and answered her statement. "The ability is what you choose to do with it. If you can control it you don't have to be cruel or mean. Bella, you don't have to hear the thoughts. You have the option to not use your ability. The shifting you do is like a switch. You have choices." I put my arm around her and pulled the most precious gift in the world close to me. "I don't believe you could use your gift the way they do. You're not the slightest bit like the Volturi, just like my family and Tonya's are not like them. You are better, Bella, and I am better because of you."

Her posture dipped just a bit and I was not sure if she was in disagreement with my statement or embarrassed by the truth of it. Placing my finger under her chin I lifted her eyes to meet mine. "All you need to know is that I love you, every part of you, because you are who you are. Don't ever change, promise?" She closed her eyes and smiled her affirmation.

"I love you to, with all my heart." She had reached up putting her arms around my neck and running her fingers up into my hair. We came together and kissed passionately with the emotions of what we had just spoken. My hands on her back pressed her close to me and I step forward leaning her back against the car door shutting it, but the force of the two of us caused the entire car to move back a fraction. I could feel her lips against mine turning up as a giggle escaped her lips. I felt laughter growing within myself too. I understood that Carlisle's advice had multiple meanings and that taking it slowly might prevent some unwanted destructions. I had become so accustomed to wearing kid gloves around Bella, that now that there was no need. I was forgetting how other things around us still remain fragile.

"We had better be careful or we could bring the forest down around us." I jested.

"I'm sure we could, but let's not. I rather enjoy the privacy."

"As you wish; anything for you Mrs. Cullen."

"For us," she corrected. She took my hand in hers and moved away from the car smiling back at me leaving nothing else for me to do but follow her.

In the midst of all that is natural, everything about her was intoxicating, but not in the way I had had to live with for the past two years. The insatiable craving from the beast within was no longer there, replaced with a new craving, more intense, yet foreign to me but not forbidden.

"Shall we go inside and see what Alice has been up to?" she said giggling.

Not wanting to sound too eager, I extended my harm to her with conscious calmness escorting her into our home.

The minute we walked through the back door and into the main room I knew Alice was not alone in her planning. "Emmett just can't help himself" she said. I glanced at her a little embarrassed for what my brother had done. The bed had been placed directly in the center of the room.

"Bella, I'm sorry, I didn't know he was going to do this. We don't have to rush into this" I stammered.

She lilted over to the bed, turned and with a tiny leap landed reclining on the bed with a sigh. "Oh come on Edward. This is great. The fire place, the view and you, what else could I ask for? This was actually very thoughtful. I would have never guessed he had it in him." She said trying to be reassuring. I knew she was trying to convince herself of her reassurance but the flutter of her heart's beat gave her away. She sat up and patted the bed beside her with a sheepish confidence on her face. I cautiously stepped towards her, gauging her pulse for panic. If it were possible for me to have a pulse, I'm convinced that it would alarm many in the medical profession.

I sat down beside her and took her hand, content to just be holding it. She rested her head against my shoulder. Her other hand rose to rest on my chest. With my eyes closed I leaned closer towards her inhaling the perfectness of the moment. Perfect was an understatement, there were no distractions, just pure silent bliss. There would be nothing to interrupt us and no need to rush anything. I felt her hand move down the center of my shirt relieving the captive buttons from the cloth. I thought I should tell her we didn't have to rush, but she looked up at me with serene diamond eyes.

_No talking, no thinking. Will you just feel with me? Please?_

With no answer required, I leaned in and tenderly kissed her mouth. I was instantly shocked when her tongue brushed my teeth but her arm had moved tighter around my neck to impede any withdraw. The gentlest pressure persuaded me to lie back on the bed. She drew back from me a little. Her eyes were closed and I watched her take in a deep breath. A smile grew on her face. I stared in amazement of her rapture. She leaned down to my throat and inhaled through her nose and mouth. I wondered if she tasted what she smelled. This continued as she traveled down my chest where she rested her head. I heard her make a small noise of satisfied conclusion.

"What?" I asked.

"The way you smell is amazing, it's more than what I remember from before. It's like richness with a touch of spice. I know with more practice I will be able to describe it better. It's not intoxicating like before but comforting, like sun on your face but better. It's perfect, just enough" She blushed with a personal embarrassment.

"So are you" I replied pulling her down beside me and holding her close.

There was no more talking after that.

We watched the sun come up together and she was right about the view from the bed. Everything about it was glorious. For the next two days we watched the sun set and rise from that vantage point, never leaving one another. Her eye had not ventured to the lighter hue since our first night.

After watching another globe set from brilliant gold to misty pink and lavender it was becoming evident that other needs required attention. We dressed and ventured out into the woods where I downed an elk and offered it to her. I saw a fierce need and desire in her face and watched her lick her lips. She hesitantly looked to me. "Bella it's okay. Just get closer and smell the blood. It's okay what you're feeling. I'm impressed that you have the control that you do." She took one step and then was upon the buck, devouring the liquid within. In no time at all she had her fill. She raised but kept her head down, her hair concealing her face. She raised her hand up under her hair and I could tell she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Bella, are you okay? Do you need more?"

In a whisper she replied "No, I'm fine. I can just feel it moving through me to the very edges of me, beyond just my stomach. It's really kind of w…." her head jolted up and she looked up into the trees with alarm. Her eyes were reflectively scanning around.

I instinctively went into a hunting crouch but could not sense anything unusual. I changed my strategy and tried to feed off of what she was experiencing. I got nothing. I watched her stand and still looking up into the sky. She covered her ears with her hands and then uncovered them, like she was trying to discern a change in sounds. Her movement gradually became more relaxed.

I had had enough of not understanding so I asked "Bella, love, what is it?" I instantly hoped she was still able to hear me and not developing deafness due to her unusual change.

"I hear them talking" she replied.

"Hear who? I don't hear anyone but you and nature around us."

"They are talking about me"

"Who are talking about you? The Volturi, who is it Bella?"

"No, no. It's Jacob and Seth I think." She had a quizzical smile and her eyes were glistening opals. "Don't you hear him?"

I set aside my immediate frustration and concentrated on listening. I hadn't had to work at my gift since I couldn't remember when. Maybe Jacob was just a bit too far off for me to her him. Maybe Bella's gift not only allowed her to borrow another's gift but gave her an amped up version. "Bella, I'm sorry I don't hear them. What are they saying?"

"Oh, Jake had gone to see Carlise. He told them we were back and that things were smoothed over with the Volturi. He was telling this to Seth, but they were like, running. I got the feeling Jake was chasing him or letting him get ahead of him or something."

They were in there wolf form. Bella was hearing their pack connection. "Bella, can they hear us talking now?" I asked.

She giggled a bit and then laughed out loud. "No they couldn't hear you and I talking but when I thought about saying 'hey Jake' he heard that."

"And that's funny because…"

"Just a second," she froze with her eyes shut like she was concentrating on something. She opened her eyes and exasperated, "Oh, crap. I lost him." Her eyes were again her given brown hue.

"Bella, could you tell where they were? Are they coming here?" I asked trying to make sense of what was happening.

She laughed again. "No, they're not coming here but I almost made Jake hit a tree. I spooked him good." She closed her eyes tight and cupped her hands over her ears. Then opened them again and sighed in exasperation. "I can't get him, I mean hear him. I don't get how to do this." I heard frustration edging into her voice. Then there was a look of panic on her face. "Edward, what if I listen in or get into the head of someone who is not our friend or worse the Volturi. You said they send scouts out sometimes. What if they scout us and I get in their head and they find me to be a threat. Oh, god this is bad. I'm a menace to all of you, again. Edward, you got to teach me how to work this. Show me how to control this." She was pacing back and forth. Her anxiety was getting the better of her.

"Bella calm down, you're jumping to conclusions that are unfounded. I believe if you stay calm, you stay in your neutral state." I put my arm around her reassuringly and turned her back towards our house. "Bella, my love, you are not a threat to us. If anything you may be The force to be reckoned with."

She was trying to present herself as calm and collected but little things, wringing her fingers, biting the inside of her lip and her unfocused gaze gave evidence of her mind racing through scenarios of doom. "Okay, listen to me. You have to stop and listen. Look at this rationally." I held her hands and waited till her quivering subsided. "You heard Jacob and Seth, but they didn't hear you until, for lack of a better word, you spoke to them, right." She nodded meekly. "What you can do seems to be as undetectable as you want it to be. Jane had no idea you borrowed her ability and Felix had no idea it was coming from you. Jacob probably would have had no idea you were listening if you hadn't reached out to him. I also deduce that I can only hear you when we touch." I step close to her taking her hand in mine. I watched her eyes and the panic began to drift away. I waited for her to digest what I said.  
"Okay, that makes sense but wouldn't it be better for me to be able to shift intentionally and not on a panicked whim?"

"Bella this is not a curse. This last time you were not panicked or stressed, right?" she considered and nodded. "This is all very new to you, as it was for all of us in the beginning. It took me time to learn to block the thoughts of others from my mind. It has only been a couple of weeks. You are acclimating at a remarkable rate, in my opinion and I can't see where this part will be any different. You will get there. What you can and can't do is not important. To quote a wise woman "It doesn't matter." What is important is that we are together, happy and nothing is going to change how I feel about you. She smiled and placed her hand aside my face.

"Thank you" she whispered. She turned and changed course taking my hand.

"Where…"

"Shhhh…" she said with a grin. She gave a slight persuasion to my momentum and I was walking beside her. She slid her arm around me, nestling in closer, while we walked to the shore of the lake. Our pace slowed and she stopped with a relaxed sigh. The sky was dark with the night and only a sliver of the moon. The late hour was abounding with the noises of the nocturnal world. She turned toward me securing her embrace around me. She tilted her head back smiling and looking to the heavens. I wondered if she was pondering the implication of heaven and that I had taken that path from her. "Without the dark, we'd never see the stars. Of all that is possible, infinite possibilities, like millions of stars, I found you and now I have the only possibility I knew was right for me." Her gaze met mine and was more brilliant than any star above.

"You have always been so sure. With only eighteen years of life how can you be so definite?"

"Because I love you, no more or less, it is simple." She said these words with such ease and surety. She was one of us now for all intents and purposes. Yet my feelings were the same no matter what she was and I was unwavering. Why should I expect anything less from her?

I felt I should affirm myself and borrowed from a very notable source, "My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite." I was sure I noticed a flush in her cheeks and raised a hand to enjoy the sensation of her skin. There was no sensation of heat but a smile was spreading on her face.

She rose up on her toes and very lightly touched my lips with hers. "Me too" She replied.

Epilogue Page 7


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